Interview with a Lesbian Ch. 03

Cont. 10

The next morning I awoke to her between my legs licking and sucking my pussy like never before. She was moving her tongue in all directions, I was so far gone I couldn't be still. She stuck three fingers in me and I felt full and she was reeking havoc on my pussy and it felt good.

She came up kissed me our tongue going everywhere. Then she had me in a position that I didn't think was possible - she had me in a scissor tribbing! I had never done it before and it won't be the last time; the clit against clit just sent electricity through my body. My whole mind shut down as April reached between our legs and put her middle finger into me tapping my g-spot and before I knew it I thought I had to pee nope; I squirted!

When I felt the first stream she went down to catch the rest with her mouth. I shot at least five and I was screaming. I don't remember what I said. The next thing I knew she was kissing my face telling me to wake up. I had never passed out during sex. Well, there's a first time for everything. Then I thought how my own husband would never satisfy me ever. I knew I had to end it.

So, I sat him down and explain to him that I wasn't happy. I didn't tell him anything that happened or what I was feeling because he could have got custody of our girls. I left three weeks later and we filed for divorce. The one good thing is that I have my girls and he's a good man and will pay support until they're out of school.

11. Must have been scary and brave decision, especially with two small children?

Yes and No. Yes because I knew that when I got back to my family they was going to want to know why I left him. When I told them why I left I came out right there and my whole life got turned upside down. I got thrown out literally. I was grabbed by my shirt and pushed out the house down five concrete stairs. When I got up to get my kids I was told that once I come back to the straight side I could have them back. So what I did was went to the police station. I told them what happened. They said right now, no judge is going to grant me custody not until I have a job and a place for us to stay; so that's what did. I got a janitor position making sixteen dollars an hour. Next I bought a car, then I got a three bedroom apartment. All this took a little over one year. I could then go to court and get my girls back. I had to take four drug test , have the apartment checked for bugs and mice. Because they painted a good picture about me to the court. I'm just glad the judge believed me!

So yes, scary wasn't the word. Brave? I don't know, I was living a lie and not living for me. My family helped me more than hurt me. They thought they were hurting me but I was able to get everything that was needed to get my girls back.

12. How did I feel when I finally admitted I was gay?

I felt a lot better. I felt better about myself. I wasn't depressed all the time. I was able to be free of everything.

13.How did others take the news?

Oh my gawd it was terrible. First they thought it was a joke, then I was told I was going to hell and they even tried to turn my kids against me and take them from me. My sisters making comments like " you're nasty, you're just horny, it's just a phase," until I wouldn't listen to them anymore and I just stopped talking to them.

The brothers were basically the same;" you can't be gay, you are the baby girl, not you."

I told one of my brothers " well if I had any chance of being straight you destroyed it by fucking my brains out for the last ten years of my life!"

Oh how the tables turned. My dad was just stunned. I told him " I told you- what ever you said or did is a mystery to me because it got worse. Hell as a teen I would have had my first child and guess what brother dear you would have been the father. It was only thanks to an auntie who took me to get an abortion. An incest pregnancy; Wow!"

So I told everyone to just stay the fuck away from me, except for one sister. I love my sister to death and we didn't grow up together, but when we connected, we really connected. But I'll explain that later.

14. Were my parents/ siblings unaware of the abuse I was going through?

I told my dad and my mom when he first did it. Then my sisters actually caught him in the act. It stopped for two years then BAM!

One day he caught me by my throat threw me down, punched me a couple of times and took my virginity. Both vaginal and anal and there was so much blood.

He would force me to give him a blowjob. He would hold me down and suck on my pussy. At a certain age he would tell me if I didn't cum he would cut me. He had a knife to my throat at all times. I was so scared I just stop caring; stop fighting and just lay there numb, asking "Why Me!" I became withdrawn and timid and very very shy.