It Didn't Mean Anything

Brenda was humming and singing as she cleaned her body after and energetic session of sex with her lover, Jack. Her body still tingled from his fervent attentions. She always sang when she cleaned up after sex. She had to hurry now though, her husband, David, was due home in an hour from an overnight trip out of town.

She carefully dried herself off and then dusted herself with bath powder. She admired her body in the mirror. She saw a beautiful woman looking back at her, She had large breasts, at 35 they were still firm and still high on her chest. Her waist was narrow and flared nicely out to her generous hips. There wasn't a sag or wrinkle in her tight flat tummy. She spread her legs a little. Her pussy was still swollen a bit and a little red but that should disappear before David was ready for bed. She went to her dresser and got out panties and a bra. She slipped them on and leaned forward to settle her breasts in the cups of the bra. She got a pair of shorts and a T from the dresser and put them on.

She needed to hurry and strip and remake the bed before David got home. She looked over to his side of the bed to see the time on the alarm clock. She froze. What the hell was that on the bed? She walked closer; it was a box of Zip-Lock Baggies. The kitchen shears lay beside the large hole cut from the sheet. Her hands flew to her face. She ran to the front of the house. The large formal portrait of her lay on the floor in front of the living room fireplace slashed to ribbons. Their wedding picture from the mantle was smashed on the hearth. She saw smoke coming from the den. She ran and looked in the den. The smoke was from the pile of photo albums burning in the fireplace. She staggered to the window and opened it to let the smoke out. As she hurried through the dinning room she saw something on the table. It was a hammer, beside it was a smashed wedding band, and she could see part of the inscription on the inside of the ring. It read "To David, Lo---" The rest was covered by the smashed side of the ring that was partly driven deep into the polished top of the mahogany table.

Her legs seemed to give out on her as she fell to the floor weeping.

Later she sat staring into space. She walked in a trance, stopping to stare at the smashed ruminants of her marriage. She wandered into the den. The fire had burned out. She noticed the door to his gun cabinet was open. She quickly looked inside. There were two empty spaces. His old Colt .45 Automatic and his .44 Magnum were gone. She looked around quickly. She ran to the phone. Her hands trembled so badly she had to try three times before she got the number right.

"Jack, he knows, he was here and destroyed all my pictures, and he burned our wedding album and all the other picture we had. He smashed his wedding band. And Jack, he took two of his pistols. I'm scared. You had better hide. No, I won't run, I don't think he will hurt me. If he does I deserve it." She put the phone down and sat and stared at the slashed painting she once had been so proud of.

The next morning she forced herself to eat a piece of toast and drank some instant coffee. She heard nothing from anyone all day except when Jack had called to see if she was OK. She told him to never call there again. She sat and cried most of the time, what had she done? Why? She had everything she had ever dreamed of. A handsome sexy husband who adored her, a beautiful home. Beautiful clothes and a new luxury car. All the money she wanted. Why?

She heard nothing the next day either. He wouldn't kill himself would he? Dear God, no! Please don't let that happen! She needed to talk to someone but she was afraid to confess her infidelity to any of her friends.

The next day about noon the phone rang. She rushed to answer it. A woman's voice asked if she were Mrs. David Landon. She replied that she was. The voice said, "This is Memorial Hospital calling. Ma'am, if you have any influence over your husband please have him return to the hospital. He is not sufficiently recovered to be up and around so soon." "I was not aware he had been in the hospital, what was his problem?"

"He had a massive heart attack, he under went triple by-pass surgery two days ago. Oh! Wait I see a note that you were not to be notified. Ah! Please forgive me, I made a mistake, we were just concerned for him, he is still a very sick man."

Brenda slumped to the floor, her head between her knees. She had killed him. She was in shock. She heard nothing more that day and the following morning she was dressed to go out. She heard a knock on the door. A nice looking man stood there.

"Mrs. Brenda Landon?" he asked.

She said, "Yes, I am she."

"Thank you Mrs. Landon." He handed her a large Manila envelope. "Ma'am, you are served," He turned and walked away.

She went back in the house and sat at the kitchen table and opened the envelope. As she had expected they were the papers for a petition for the dissolution of the marriage between she and David. She examined the cover letter and found the phone number for the attorney handling the case for David. She punched in the number, identified herself and asked to speak to Mr. Adams, the attorney.

After a short wait he came on he line and said that there was nothing he could tell her that was not in the petition. Brenda said, "Mr. Adams I have read the documents and have no problem understanding them. However I refuse to sign them and will contest the divorce unless he speaks with me."

"Mrs. Landon, your husband anticipated your request and instructed me to tell you that he witnessed your obvious enjoyment of sexual intercourse with a male other than himself in the marital bed. He says he cannot conceive of anything that you can say that will change his mind."

"I see, give him this message. 'Joan Landon, June 3, 2005'. Tell him I have a photo and if he continues this silly business he knows what the repercussions will be. Tell him he has until this time tomorrow to contact me before the excellent picture will be e-mailed to all concerned, including our children, his brother and his mother and father. Do you have all that?"

"Yes, Ma'am, I have all that. I am not sure I can locate him that soon." "I don't want to be unreasonable, get back with me before the specified time if you haven't reached him by then. I may grant a short extension."

She hung up and slumped in her chair. She sobbed, she had hated doing that but she had no choice. She had a long night ahead of her. She knew she needed to eat but she didn't think she could keep anything down.

Brenda sat in the dark, half awake and half in a dream when she heard a key in the front door. The door opened and she saw David enter. He stopped and looked around in the faint light from the outside light through the open door. He reached and turned on the light in the foyer.

He saw her in the kitchen and slowly walked in and sat opposite her at the table. They stared at each other for several minutes.

"I had forgotten about that night, Bren. I never knew you had seen us."

"Oh! I saw you all right, I got my little digital camera and set it to low light and got several nice shots of you and your sister-in-law screwing away. I was furious, I wanted to hurt you and make both pay dearly for hurting me so much. I decided to wait until morning before I confronted you. That night I thought about what I would do. I still loved you and didn't want a divorce. I knew that if your brother Mike found out he would get violent and that they would end up in a divorce and with three small kids that would really hurt their kids as well as our two. I thought about our marriage, all the good years we had, and all the years ahead of us. I just kept my mouth shut. I kept pretty close tabs on you for a year or so. I guessed it was a onetime thing with the two of you and that you had made a mistake. Was I wrong?"

"No, it only happened once. We were too ashamed to even talk about it. We still haven't ever said anything about it to each other. We stay pretty far apart at parties now."

"Yeah! I noticed that."

"Brenda, I am glad I came here and talked to you. I want you to know you broke my heart when I saw you with Jack. How long has it been going on?"

"David it has only happened twice. I don't know why. I don't love him. I still love you with all my heart. He stopped by to see you before he left for a new job in California. We got to flirting back and forth. He told me he had always wanted to have sex with me; he said he had fantasized about it for years. I don't know how we ended up in our bed. I have to confess that I really enjoyed it. It was some of the best sex I have had in years. That was the first night you were gone, then he came by again the other night. I was flattered a younger handsome man wanted me. It wasn't love, it didn't mean anything."

David got up and slowly walked to the window and stared into the night. He turned and looked at her, "Are you going to California?"

"Hell No! It was good sex. Nothing more. There was no love or tenderness. No desire on his part to please me and I didn't care if he got off or not. It wasn't the best I have ever had; you gave me that a hundred times over the years. He was only the second man I have ever had sex with. That and the wrongness of it made it thrilling. It was also the worst time of my whole life when I realized you had seen us. I have betrayed you and broken my marriage vows. I thought that could never happen. I knew how much it hurt. I saw you betray me. It almost killed me. I really didn't want you to ever have to feel that."

"I don't know what to say or to do Brenda, I am numb. I can't bear the thought of not being with you. I don't know if I can forgive you. I have to think about it.

"Dave, honey. you do what you feel you have to do. I really don't deserve you. The worst part of the whole thing was when I knew in my heart I had killed the man I loved more than anything in life. I don't want you to worry about anything until you are better. You won't have to get a divorce. Just tell me you want me out of your life. There will be no problem. I will do that for you. I will be gone forever."

"I don't like the sound of that. I really don't like the way you said that."

"Please just think about things and let me know when you are well enough to handle this. You should be in bed. Do you know that? The doctor says that if you can't come back to the hospital, at lease stay in bed for a couple more days. Let me help you back to the guest bedroom. Let me look after you for a day or two then I'll leave. OK?"

"I do feel a little tired and dizzy. I think I will lie down for a little while."

"Let me call 911 and get you back to the hospital. OK?"

"NO! Let me lie down for a while and we can see how I feel then."

She helped him get his suit coat off. She unbuckled his belt and pulled his zipper down. He sat on the side of the bed. She ran down the hall to the master bedroom and got a pair of his pajamas and brought them to him. She hung up his suit and had him stand while she pulled the covers back for him and helped him into the bed. He felt her hot tears on his face as she pulled the covers up over him. She gently kissed his forehead and softly closed the door behind her.

She went to the kitchen and sat at the table. She got the phone and called David's parents. Clair, his mother answered. "Mom, have you talked to David lately? You haven't. Dear I have some serious news for you about David. He had triple bypass surgery several days ago. He seems to be doing fine now."

"Because he and I had been fussing and I just found out about it last night. He had left the hospital against the doctor's orders. No one knew where he was. He just came home tonight. I put him to bed. He is sleeping now. He doesn't want me to call 911. I'll see how he feels in the morning. I'll watch him tonight. If I think he is having any trouble I'll call 911 right away."

"Yes, Mom, I'll let you know if there is any change. I'll call you in the morning."

She debated calling their kids. She decided against it. They were both studying for exams.

Brenda walked back down the hall and quietly opened the door and saw he was asleep. She sat in the chair next o the bed and looked at the face of the man she had lived with and loved for twenty three years. She had born his children and had believed they would be together forever. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she contemplated life without this man she loved so much.

She thought about the man she knew better than she knew herself. She took his big strong hand in hers. She knew he was very intelligent and fair in his dealing with everyone. She was sure in her heart he would forgive her as she had forgiven him. She would not throw it up to him. He would work it out when he was well. She was exhausted and fell asleep in the chair beside him.

She awoke to the bright sunlight in the room. She felt the cold stiff hand she was holding and realized her life was over.