It's All About Jack Nicholson Ch. 03

I dedicate this story to Amanda, a fan of Jack Nicholson and a fan of Bostonfictionwriter. She asked me to write a story about Jack Nicholson with her in the starring role.

I agreed to write the story because I've always been a fan of Jack Nicholson's, too. Normally, as you can discern from my name, Bostonfictionwriter, I only write fiction, generally fiction about Boston, Massachusetts. Only, this time, I decided to sway a bit from fiction and from Boston to write the true story of my meeting with Jack Nicholson in Los Angeles, California, only reverting from non-fiction to fiction by changing the character of Jana, Marty Scorsese's real script assistant with Amanda's name and description.

Jack Nicholson's last starring role, the end of an era.

*

"I'm late for a meeting," said Jack impatiently pushing the close door button more than once while stressing the t of late with as much impatient hostility as he showed when playing Jack Torrence in the movie, The Shining, and when talking about writing his infamous novel to his wife, Shelley Duvall, when she played Wendy Torrence in the movie.

Now, he showed a similar and appropriate amount of annoyance in being delayed by our late arrival as he did then when being interrupted in his work and disturbed in his thoughts in the movie. Again, Jack's way of talking, and in the way that he carried himself, lulled me back to the movie and to his insane character in the movie, The Shining, with him interacting with his wife Wendy.

"...let me explain something to you. When you come in and interrupt, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me...and it will then take time to get back to where I was. Understand?"

"Fine."

"We're making a new rule: Whenever I'm in here...and you hear me typing...or whatever the fuck you hear me doing in here...when I'm in here that means I am working. That means don't come in. Do you think you can handle that?"

"Fine."

"Why don't you start right now and get the fuck out of here?"

That was Jack at his best. Then, again, he's made so many movies showing Jack at his best with so many memorable scenes that I feel like I know the man, especially seeing him act a bit like that now. Suddenly, I felt like a stalker. Again Marty's voice jolted me back to present time and from recalling any more of Jack Nicholson's movie scenes.

"I know you're late for a meeting, Jack. We're late, too," said Marty with a chuckle. "The four of us are having a meeting with—" said Marty Scorsese, as the elevator doors closed behind us and the elevator started silently climbing up to the top floor. Obviously, Jack wasn't listening. He gave Marty a heavy and detached, albeit confused look and interrupted him before he could tell him that we were all attending the same meeting.

"Do I know you?"

Jack, always in character, suddenly with his tone tense and his posture stiff reminded me of his character, Melvin Udall, in As Good As It Gets when he interacted with his neighbor from across the hall, Simon.

"Mr. Udall...excuse me. Hey There! Have you seen Verdell?"

"What's he look like?"

"My dog...you know...I mean my little dog with the adorable face...Don't you know what my dog looks like?"

"I got it. You're talking about your dog. I thought that was the name of the colored man I've been seeing in the hall."

"Which color was that?"

"Like thick molasses, with one of those wide noses perfect for smelling trouble and prison food."

Yes, it's true, that writers gave him wonderful dialogue to recite but, in the way he recited their dialogue, he made their words his own and made them even greater by injecting all of himself in his performances. You felt all of his emotions as he was feeling them and you are there with him experiencing what he is experiencing.

My fantasy button was wide open while in the presence of Jack Nicholson and reluctantly I returned back to reality. He made me want to stay in the fantasy zone of Hollywood movie stardom. He made me want to write a movie for him. Just seeing him in person inspired me to write so many wonderful things that only he could say in the way that he says them. My brain was bombarded with as many old lines as I imagined writing new lines for him to recite. Over the years of our collaboration, I imagined moviegoers quoting my lines written for him as his lines for years to come.

Jack gave Marty a stare that made us all uncomfortable and I didn't know if he was acting or if he was serious. All I know is that I couldn't stop staring and I couldn't stop smiling. It was as if I was watching him act. It was if I was a bystander in a three D movie and I was there.

I was confined in an elevator with one of my favorite male movie stars. I was delirious with excitement. I couldn't wait to call all my friends back home in Boston to tell them that I was in an elevator with Jack Nicholson. I couldn't wait to tell them that I had a meeting with Jack Nicholson and Martin Scorsese. I couldn't wait to tell them that Jack Nicholson may be in my movie that Martin Scorsese was directing. I couldn't wait.

Sure, there are stars like Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, but there's only one star like Jack Nicholson. There's no one else like him. He's an original. He's reminiscent of the Hollywood movie stars of old, bigger than life and going through life with a zest and panache for being over the top and with the added flair for being selfishly self-centered and overly dramatic. With three Oscars, 63 assorted awards, and 46 nominations, his list of credits spans half a century. He is one of the greatest actors of modern times.

I love the lines and the comedic interplay in Terms Of Endearment between Shirley MacClaine who played Aurora Greenway, an overprotective mother, and Jack Nicholson, who played a retired Astronaut, when he played Garrett Greenlove. Having trouble loosening Aurora Greenway up on their first date, coercing her to relax enough to have some fun, he had this exchange of dialogue.

"You're gonna need a lot of drinks?"

"To break the ice?"

"To kill the bug you have up your ass," said Garrett.

Then later when he's taking her home they have another memorable exchange at the door of her home.

"Would you like to come in?"

"I'd rather stick needles in my eyes," said Garrett.

Finally, this one is priceless and so typical of what Jack Nicholson would say in a movie and/or in real life, perhaps.

"I just didn't want you to think I was like one of your other girls," said Aurora.

"Not much danger in that unless you curtsy on my face real soon," said Garrett.

He's the type of actor where you must sit and pay attention to not only the dialogue but also to see what he does with his expression when delivering it. I'd rather watch that kind of a movie than a shoot 'em up and blow 'em up. Able to make life's hardships funny, he makes fun of everything including phobias, neuroticism, and depression, just as this exchange he had with Helen Hunt's character Carol Connelly, in the movie As Good As It Gets.

"I've got a great compliment for you, and it's true," Jack as Melvin Udall said to Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly.

"I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful," she said.

"Don't' be pessimistic; it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what -- ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I hate pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never...well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills."

"I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me," she said.

"You make me want to be a better man."

"...That's maybe the best compliment of my life."

"Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out."

Of course the dialogue is taken out of context and without seeing the interaction between Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt and it misses some in the translation. Yet, still, it is a powerful moment between a man and a woman, both of which are desperate in Jack's case and hopeful in Helen's case to have a relationship with one another.

More movie scenes of him flashed through my mind, scenes that I don't remember from other actors, except for Paul Newman movies and a few Pacino and De Niro movies; perhaps because many of his lines were funny, I remembered many more of Jack Nicholson's scenes. I pictured him sitting in the back seat of the Mercedes 600 with his lurch look-a-like driver driving at break neck speed in the Witches of Eastwick movie. I read somewhere that he has owned a Mercedes-Benz 600 for 30 years and considers it the best touring car ever made.

I remember him in the scene of the movie when he was disheveled from being blown around in the wind and sought shelter in a church, of all places, while the Witches of Eastwick, Cher playing Alexandra Medford, Susan Sarandon playing Jane Spofford, and Michele Pfeiffer playing Sukie Ridgemont stuck pins in a Voodoo doll of him. Here he is the Devil in a Church of God addressing the congregation while pins that are injected in the Voodoo doll have a direct effect on his person with pain and indignation, as he is talking while trying to walking down the aisle without falling and succumbing to the pain of the pins.

"Just having a little trouble. A little trouble at home. A little domestic problem. Nothing to be alarmed at. Just a little female problem. Don't pay any attention. It's just a cheap trick. Anybody can do it. I taught it to them myself. Ungrateful little bitches, aren't they?"

Meanwhile, Jack's Voodoo doll is continually jabbed with pins and he is in excruciating pain while delivering this masterpiece of dialogue before the congregation of horrified churchgoers. Then, there were the feathers and the cherries, but that was more of a visual thing that you'd have to see to believe.

"I want to ask you something. You all go to church. Do you think God knew what He was doing when He created Women? No shit! I really want to know. Or do you think it was one of His minor mistakes? Like tidal waves! Earthquakes! Floods! Do you think women are like that?"

He further horrified the churchgoers by insulting and disrespecting their God while disrespecting women.

"What's the matter? You don't think God makes mistakes? Of course He does. We all make mistakes. Of course, we make mistakes, they call it evil. When God makes mistakes, they call it...nature. So what do you think? Women...are mistakes? Or did He do it to us on purpose? I really want to know! If it's a mistake, maybe we can do something about it! Find a cure! Invent a vaccine. Build up our immune systems. Get a little exercise. Twenty push-ups a day...and you never have to be afflicted with women, ever again!" I imagined him when he played The Joker to the best that character had to offer. I think the Batman that Jack Nicholson played The Joker was the best Batman, better than when his best friend, Danny DeVito played The Penguin.

"Thankya, thankya. Ladies and germs, I'm here to tell you...we have one helluva quarter. Panic's up. Terror's up. And fear...fear's gone straight through the roof. You guys should be proud...'cause I couldn'ta done it without each and every one of you! I feel it's time to expend the Joker line. I was askin' myself, what are the products that every consumer wants most? And that's when it hit me: the water you drink, and the air you breathe! Huh? Bingo! Now, some of you have your eye on the profit margin. You're thinkin': this boy's too ambitious. You don't approve. In fact, some of you have been talking about turning me in to the cops. Or knocking me off. But that's okay. I understand. Not everyone shares my eye for beauty. And just to show there's no hard feelings, I'm throwin' a little shindig tonight...and you're all invited! How 'bout it? Is everybody happy?"

Yeah, sure the dialogue was corny, but his character was modeled after a comic book character and Jack did the best he could with it and better than anyone anticipated and even better than everyone knew he could with the role.

Because of his percentage negotiated from box office receipts, he made sixty million dollars in that movie alone, more than many of his other movies combined.

And now here he is in living and breathing color as Edward Cole in the Bucket List, Colonel Nathan Jessep in a Few Good Men, Jack Torrence in the Shining, Melvin Udall, in As Good As It Gets, Garret Greenlove in Terms Of Endearment, Darrell Van Horn a.k.a. the Devil, in the Witches of Eastwick, and The Joker in Batman, et al the characters he ever played.

Again Marty's voice returned me back from the land of movies to reality.

"Jack," said Marty with an expression that showed half hidden hurt and a half forced smile, looking from me to his assistant and back to Jack, I could sense that he was uncomfortable with the cool reception received from this iconic actor. "It's me, Marty, Marty Scorsese," he said offering his hand to Jack. "Ah, you're such a kidder," said Marty laughing and waving a hand at him. "I don't know if I should kiss you or hit you. I never know with you if you are serious or pulling my leg."

"Marty," said Jack in the way that only Jack can say someone's name. He gave Marty a shark like grin and put a finger to lower his never without signature sunglasses enough for us all to see his famous raised eyebrow. "Marty! Marty Scorsese, of course, how are you? I didn't recognize you. You look taller. Perhaps, that's why I didn't recognize you. Have you grown since last we met?"

"Have I grown? You're such a joker," said Marty showing his always present sense of humor by laughing with Jack at his own expense. "Not since I was twelve," laughed Marty again at Jack's jab at his short stature.

"Have we ever done a movie together," said Jack looking appropriately perplexed and taking Marty's hand and pumping it and continuing talking without giving him an opportunity to respond to his question. "We should do a movie together," he said pointing an index finger to pontificate his intention to do a movie with him. "Let's do a movie together," he said waving his finger at him. "Have your people call my people and we'll make it happen. We'll make a movie," he said pointing his index finger to pontificate his point again.

"...but Jack," said Marty only to be interrupted again by the comedic actor.

"I've always admired your work, Marty. I'm a big fan. The Godfather movies were my favorite, but now I'm late for a meeting," he said looking away from him and up at the lighted floor numbers anticipation of leaving the elevator to attend his meeting.

Unable to get a word in, Marty looked from Jack to me and to Amanda while smiling an uncomfortable and equally impatient smile and waiting for his moment to speak.

"Godfather movies? You have me confused with my illustrious colleague, Francis Ford Coppola. He made those wonderful movies. I made—"

"Sorry," interrupted Jack again while smiling and staring at Marty's assistant, Amanda and making eye contact with her. "After a while all the movies get jumbled up in my head," he said twirling a finger at his temple and smiling at her, as he would have done in his movie One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest when he played R. P. McMurphy while mocking and making fun of one of the other crazy patients.

When he made that gesture with his hand, I couldn't help but think of the famous basketball game scene in that movie when the mental hospital took the patients out on a field trip, that is, before Jack stole the bus and kidnapped the patients for a joyride.

"Ever play this game, Chief? Come on, I'll show you. Old Indian game. It's called put the ball in the hole. Now, that ought to be just...Hold it right there. All right. Now, that's your spot. Don't move. Never move. That's your spot, you understand? Right there. You don't move. Now...take the ball. Here, take the ball. That's it. Hold on to it. Not too hard, Chief. You'll crush all the air out of it. We're gonna put her in the basket. You understand? All right. Now, raise your arms. Raise the ball up in the air, Chief. Raise it up."

Jack's voice knocked me back to reality.

"Still, we should do a movie together," he said to Marty. "Something where I play an aging movie star falling in love with a young, tall, and very beautiful woman," he said while leering at Amanda. "Yeah, I think we could make a great movie," he said now addressing all of his conversation to Amanda instead of to Marty. "Who knows, maybe we'd even win an Oscar for the best movie, yes, an Academy Award for making the best love scene." He gave her a warm smile. "Of course, we'd have to do a lot of rehearsing to pull that off, don't you think, my Dear?"

"Yes," she said, "especially since I'm not an actress. I'm Marty's assistant."

"We did do a movie, Jack," said Marty with a nervous chuckle and snapping Jack out of his sudden and immediate infatuation with Amanda. "Don't you remember?" Marty touched his arm and lowered his voice. "Are you feeling okay, Jack?"

"We did?"

In the next chapter Jack is formally introduced to Amanda.

*

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To be continued...