I've Finally Found Myself

Mary was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, and gave me a bright smile. "Come sit down with me and have a cup of coffee." as she took our cups into the living room and put them both on the coffee table next to the couch.

"Cherie is a really pretty name. Where did it come from?" She asked.

"I thought it up one time when I was dressed up listening to music and reading."

"How were you dressed?" she asked. I was getting nervous again.

"Come on, you can tell me. I'm like your big sister. I want to help you be Kenny's girl. That is what you want, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Surrendering again, I replied, "I was wearing a gray nightie with seamed black stockings. I had on some mascara and some lipstick, and some blush on my cheeks. That's how I noticed how pretty my eyes looked with longer lashes. I decided to polish my toenails and the color I chose was cherry and that led me to think of myself as Cherie."

"Would you like to try some new things today, honey?"

"What about Kenny?" I asked.

"He'll be home this afternoon. I'll bet he'll go wild if I can make you pretty for him! How about it?"

"Ok, I'll try it. It sounds exciting!"

"First off, you have to understand that to be a girl you need to look and act like one. And for me to help you, you need to let me see your body. Take off your clothes."

I hesitated.

"Come on, sweetie. I wasn't born yesterday. Strip. I want to look at you."

"Yes, ma'am." I replied weakly.

Too soon I was standing before Mary naked as a jaybird, but thankfully my penis was oblivious to her presence.

"My, what a cute little body you have. Have you ever seen a girl naked before?"

"No, not really." I answered.

"Well first of all, you are very lucky. You have a nicely developed chest, probably an easy "A" cup, maybe even close to a "B", and your nipples are nice and puffy and much larger than a boys. Your nipples are wonderfully plump and full like a woman's should be and your areolas are a good inch and a half across. That's really special, did you know that?"

"I always thought my boobies were a little big for a boy, but then I've always just accepted it as me."

"Well, first lets get all of the hair off of you. Go into the bathroom and start the shower."

Mary returned with a bottle of odd smelling goo. She put it all over my body, my legs, between my legs by butt crack, under my arms, everywhere. It felt tingly as it did it's work.

"OK, get in the shower and wash it off an be sure to shampoo your hair and use conditioner."

When I got out, Mary dried me off and rubbed wonderful smelling lotion all over my body. I was in heaven with the unique sensation of no body hair. Then she gently pinched one of my very erect nipples.

"Oh!" I cried. "Be careful, they are really tender!"

"Lucky you! Nipples are a valuable erogenous zone, and you are very lucky to have nice ones that respond properly. Here, let me try something." Mary said, as she gently rubbed the tops of my nipples with her fingertips. My little penis began to rise as a wonderful sensation began to course through my body.

"Cherie, you are truly a special young lady! When you are making out with a man, he's going to want to rub them and suck on them as if he's a baby, did you know that?" She said as she looked into my eyes.

"No, I hadn't really thought about that!" I said, biting my lip with worry.

"And he is going to want to rub your leg, as he tries to get you aroused. You can really turn him on by letting him feel your bare flesh. When he holds you tightly, you should try to get your shirt and his to ride up without him knowing so he will feel your bare skin against his. That's why you want to wear shorts and a blouse with a bare midriff. You can feel nearly naked with him and still protect your self."

"Protect yourself?" I gulped.

"Yes. He is going to want to have sex with you, silly. That's what men do. It's your job to decide if you want to. It's not something you have to do, it's something you only do when you know you are in a relationship and your guy actually loves you." Mary smiled.

I blushed red as a beet, "How will I know he loves me?" I stammered.

"You can't always be sure. You just follow your instincts. There may come a point where you are so turned on you can't stop yourself and you give yourself to him. But you only want to do that if you are sure he wants to stay with you and won't try to find other girls. There are options. But never, ever allow yourself to have empty relationships."

"Options?"

"Yes. You can give him a hand job, and as long as you have your clothes on, you are pretty much in charge. Later on, if you feel for him enough, you can maybe give him a blowjob as long as it is your idea and not his. When you are finally committed as a couple, you may decide to let him into your pussy."

"My pussy?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Men want you to carry their seed, and they are less likely to stray if you remain available to them whenever they feel the need, which will be frequently. And always keep their sperm in you; don't let him see you let it out. It shows lack of respect for him choosing you as his mate. By climaxing in you he gave you a part of himself for you to nurture. You need to be grateful you are carrying it. Understand?"

Blushing I answered "Yes. I think I'd like that someday."

"Have you ever done that?"

"Mary, I have never done anything. Kenny was even my first kiss!"

"You're a sweetheart." She said as she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, lets do your face and try on some things shall we?"

Mary sat me at her makeup table and applied some mascara to my lashes, and some eyeliner. Next she applied some blush to my cheeks then applied some pink lipstick to my lips followed by shimmery lip-gloss. Next she got a little table and went to work on my nails. She removed my old polish and re-did my nails again with a richer shade of pink that I used before. She used a little guide to give me a genuine French manicure. My hands looked long and sleek, and truly feminine.

I melted into her touch as she combed my hair and got her curling iron and curled it. Next she combed the front down and got her clippers and created some bangs. Then she got some tweezers and shaped my eyebrows just a little, and lightly darkened them with an eyebrow pencil. Finally, she finished me off with a dab of perfume. Looking in the mirror, I was shocked to see a pretty girl staring back at me.

"Ok, sweetie. Let's get you dressed." Mary showed me some pale blue panties that were high cut on the sides, with little bows and then kneeled down and told me to step into them. Like a little girl, I put my hands on her shoulders as I stepped into them as she moved them up my legs. Next I stepped into a pair of thin white short shorts and she pulled them up over my hips. Luckily, I had true hips and a fleshy butt like a girl so they fit really nicely. What used to embarrass me I now realized was a part of my girlish self, and a prideful part of my body. Like my boobs, my feminine features were always there and I never appreciated them. Next she had me raise my arms and slipped a thin, loose white half top over me that came down to about the top my stomach, just below my boobs. I felt a thrill feeling the breezy fabric on my skin.

"Now wiggle yourself a little, honey. That's it. Now gently bounce up and down for me. Oh, sweetie, you have bounce in your boobies did you know that?"

"Yes, but I never thought much about it. I just figured I was just chubby there."

"Oh my! That top is perfect. It's a bit see though, and I can see your nipples poking out. If you only knew how lucky you are! How are you feeling so far, Cherie?"

"I feel really good. In fact I feel like I've found myself. I think I have been living in the wrong world. My heart is beating a mile a minute and I feel sexy!" I exclaimed.

Mary smiled at me. "Now you need to learn how to 'show a peek' as we girls say. Colored panties with white shorts are nice when you want to tease your guy. You want him see your panties, and you want him to notice your nipples. Guys are very visual creatures. You need to show them little things here and there to keep them interested so they don't go drifting off. You have to keep reminding them you are sexual and available. And even if you aren't available, you are definitely sexual. You want him to want you and no one else."

"It's complicated, but men are insecure creatures. Sometimes they are afraid to make the first move. You have something they want and you have to show them you might be interested in letting them have it. They need to feel they are in control, but in reality you control the pace by accepting their attention bit by bit. It's a give and take. He flirts, and you warm to him a little more each time, as you two get used to each other. Give him a gentle touch whenever you can. It won't be long until he is panting with lust. You just need to play dumb and pretend nothing is wrong and enjoy the attention, knowing he is checking you out every chance he gets. When you are sitting across from him, open your legs a little so he can peek up your pant leg. Do not try to catch him looking. You can be sure he is looking. Just provide him little peeks to keep his mind on you. Now that loose top you are wearing? When you bend over to let him admire your pretty butt, you can give him a glimpse up your blouse from the back so he can see your titties. That will keep his mind on business. Just act the part of the innocent little schoolgirl who would never dream anyone would look at her cute little butt, let alone peek up her blouse in a moment of carelessness. The shamefulness of men!" Mary exclaimed as we both giggled conspiratorially. "Every now and then sneak a peek at his crotch to see how you are doing. If he is getting hard, you need to decide to pull back or keep going. You will get turned on turning him on, trust me. Cherie, you are gorgeous and hot! You are going to have a tough time keeping Kenny off you!" She exclaimed.

"Should I?"

"Should you what?"

"You know. If Kenny wants to kiss me some more and gets all heated up and tries to do things with me. I mean I liked it a lot when he kissed me and I like the way he keeps touching me. It was as if he was afraid I'd leave if he let go. But from the beginning he was turning me on in a way I've never felt before."

"Well, you are going to have some decisions to make then, won't you honey. Remember, you can be in charge, or you can let it go. It's up to you to follow your heart. Now lets see your sexy walk. I want you to work on keeping your hands and arms loose, and move gracefully and more slowly than a guy moves. She took me by the shoulders, and said, "Do this. I want you to bend your right knee, and at the same time, thrust your left hip out. Then bend the left knee, thrust the right hip. Practice with me standing still. You have to leave your inner male behind to let your real girl shine through. Men walk to get someplace. You walk to be seen and appreciated by Kenny. There is no other way but to think and act like a woman, keeping in mind that you are a sexual creature and you want him to be sexually attracted to you. In fact, my senses tell me you are kidding yourself if you think you are boy. You aren't. You are a girl who was raised wrong. Accept it and be it. You are as feminine as any girl I have ever met. You just need to let it come to the surface. I never had a chance to be as pretty and sexy as you. You are truly gifted." Mary said looking deeply into my eyes.

"Yes ma'am." I replied smiling as I practiced my walk around the room.

"That's good sweetie, but don't exaggerate too much. You'll look like a hooker! Move slowly so you don't outrun your man's eyes! You can be sure he will have sex on his mind as you walk with a sway to your hips." She said as be both giggled.

I was really getting into this now. My new walk was fluid and graceful. My hips were cooperating nicely since I realized my new movement was more natural for me. I was walking all around the house practicing everything she taught me. I felt I was learning things I had already known but had forgotten. For the first time in my life I was feeling graceful and feminine and at peace with my self.

I was wondering around the house getting used to my new self when Mary announced "Kenny's home!" as I hear the growl of the garage door opening.

I hurried into the kitchen find something to be doing when he entered. I was washing glasses when he came in the door and announced teasingly "Who's this?" I turned around with a blushing smile as he took me into his arms and gave me a wonderful hug and a kiss on the neck. My arms could barely reach his shoulders when he leaned in for a kiss and stroked my bottom.

"I like what I see honey." Kenny said as I closed my eyes as our lips touched. I inhaled his manliness as I hugged his chest tightly, my heart fluttering.

"Thank you baby" I replied.

"Kenny, we were just going out to the pool. Why don't you come on out and join us?" Mary announced and told me to bring him a soda also.

Kenney came outside and found a seat. I brought Mary her drink first and leaned over carefully to set it on the low table. I felt the excitement knowing I was being watched as I leaned to give Kenny his drink as the napkin skittered to the floor. Leaning down to pick it up I left nothing to Kenny's imagination as to what I had under my blouse. I felt warm and flushed as I glanced down at Kenny's growing bulge and realized that for the first time in my life I was playing for keeps.

"Oh, Cherie honey, we forgot to polish our toenails. I'll be right back out with some colors." Mary announced as Kenny and I made eye contact again and I smiled sweetly.

Mary returned with red for herself and pink for me with her clever little nail polish guide to continue with my French pedicure. "I hope you don't mind if we do this in front of you Kenny. Do you want us to go inside?"

"No, no you're fine. I'm going to go in and put on my swimming suit." Kenny replied.

Kenny come out in his trunks and sunglasses, and laid back in the lounger while I begin to paint my toenails. I was able to give little peeks here and there; I know he appreciated me being hard and unable to completely hide my erection. Kenney's sunglasses were a nice touch. At least he could pretend not to be looking. But I knew differently as my heart raced in my chest. He knows and appreciates that I'm doing my best to be his dream girl, just for him.

As I was lying back letting my polish dry, Mary announced, "Well, I think we're dry enough. She we put on our suits, Cherie?" She said as she stood and led me into the bedroom.

She picked out a pale lime green two-piece for me. The bottom had string ties on the sides showing at lease three inches of each hip where the ties were, leaving me practically naked. But Mary thoughtfully had cut a slit in the liner to provide a little pouch to keep my penis from slipping out. The top had a loop that went behind my head and a tie in the back with a clasp in the front, which exposed nearly three inches between by boobies. I felt I was hiding very little as Mary smiled at me.

Then to my shock, Mary took off her clothes without even turning her back as she put on her suit. That was proof positive she saw no maleness in me, at all. I felt empowered like never before.

As we went back out to the pool area to work on our tans, Kenny was leaning back on his lounger. Feeling clever, I laid face down where I might sneak a peek for myself. It wasn't long before I was rewarded with a glimpse of his semi-flaccid cock sneaking down the leg of his swimming trunks. I suspected he was pretty large since I have had it poking into my stomach since we met, but I really had no idea just how large he was until this moment. He was as big around as a silver dollar! I was shocked and suddenly terrified at what I had gotten myself into. I closed my eyes and forced myself to understand the impact of what Mary meant by "That's what men do." In a moment of clarity I finally put all of the pieces of my life together: I entered this relationship with the intention of being Kenny's partner, and I was not going to let myself down now. He was just so big, it scared me to death thinking I might have to find a way to get my mouth around it when the time came to become "me".

"Honey, would you like me to rub some lotion on your back?" Kenny asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"Oh, please. I think I'm starting to burn" I replied.

Mary said "I'm staring to burn too, but I'm going in to take a shower and meet up with Jill. She offered to take me to a concert tonight. You two behave yourselves. I'll be home around two am or so, unless I get lucky!" She said with a sly smile.

I was shocked. I didn't expect her to leave while Kenny and I were here alone.

Kenny sat down and slowly rubbed the cool gel into my smooth skin as I closed my eyes and considered my situation as the mechanics of physical love danced through my mind. I felt decision time had suddenly come much sooner than I expected, but I was not going to lose this guy over my lack of courage. I slipped into an erotic daydream as Kenny massaged in the lotion. He went down my legs and tickled my feet as he rubbed between my toes and gave my feet gentle kisses as he massaged each toe one by one. As his hands traveled up my calves to my upper thighs, his finger tips would sneak under the leg band of my bottoms to caress a little of my butt cheeks. I was becoming seriously aroused, unconsciously lifting my buttocks to meet his hands willing him to go higher. I hope he appreciated what he was doing to me as I met each heavenly incursion with a lustful sigh as his sneaky fingers went deeper under my bottoms. I was panting with lust when Kenny asked me if it was ok for him to do the tops of my legs and feet. Nervously, I rolled over on my back like a trained puppy.

Kenny began at my feet again, and massaged his way up my legs while spreading them to get a better angle for my massage. I felt very vulnerable feeling him there with my legs spread and him sitting between them with his hands rubbing lotion dangerously close to my penis. The feeling as he sensuously went up the inside of my thighs completely to the leg band was causing me to ache with lust. I opened my eyes to peek at how he was doing and I was embarrassed to see my little erection making an unmistakable little bulge for him to see, while the massive tent in his bathing suit left no doubt what he had planned for me. He lifted my legs and placed them on top of his thighs as he moved closer to massage my arms and shoulders. As he moved closer to me, my legs spread more widely; his covered penis was touching me all over. I was excited by the contact and wanted more, but I was afraid of where we could be heading if I didn't regain control as Kenny leaned in and kissed me again deeply.

"Let's take a dip in the pool, ok baby?" I declared as I slowly sat up and put my arms around Kenny's neck with my legs spread over his thighs. It was an awkward way to face your boyfriend when his cock is ready to bust out of his trunks! I smiled and leaned in for a kiss and with a smile and a wink, making sure my groin kept contact with his penis and asked him sweetly if we could go for a swim.

The water was pretty cold at first and I was conscious of my nipples showing though my top. I tried to hide them but Kenny came up and moved my arms and kissed me deeply as he carried me into a deeper part of the pool. I had no choice but to wrap my legs around him as we kissed passionately as I felt his naked skin on mine. I could feel the strength of his manhood thrusting into my covered crotch as I held him tightly as he kissed me deeply. I reached down and felt Kenny's hardness pressing against me through his suit. I reached inside his trunks and for the first time felt his naked hardness as Kenny took it as a clue to remove his suit completely. Further emboldened, he unsnapped the front of my top and exposed my breasts. Gently he lifted me in the water and began to suck and lick my nipples as I felt his cock touching my bare skin. I was breathing heavily now as he probed for an entry into my suit. Not to be detoured he was soon running his cock under the fabric between my butt cheeks dragging himself across my pussy pushing me toward an untimely orgasm. He was alternatively licking and sucking my nipples and kissing my neck, ears, and lips as I squirmed in beautiful agony as his naked cock rubbed across my naked pussy. I was in sexual overdrive way beyond my experience as he began to search for the right string to pull to release the bottom of my bikini. I needed to slow things down and quick before I climax right then and there.