Jake and Jed Meet the Thespians

With both hands she aimed little Jake right at Berthas gappin' hole and pushed him in. I'm no expert, but I had a good idea what to do next. Mary seemed to be the odd man out, but not for long. She had her beaver on top of Wilda's mouth, that's grandma, if you ain't figured it out.

Now me and Bertha and Mary and Wilda was all moanin', and oohin' and ahhin'. The fuckin' and suckin went on most of the night. I ain't lyin'. They wasn't no part of no one that didn't smell like pussy the next mornin'.

After breakfast, and a little more fuckin', I got to feelin' purdy bad about ol Jed jest sittin there in jail. Ifin they was a man on earth that could apper-ciate all this thespisin, it would be Jed. We all talked things over and agreed that another hard dick would be helpful if this thespisin was to continue. I told you all before that Jed wasn't much in the brains department, but the girls all got purdy enthused when I explained to them what Jed lacked for in smarts, he made up for in cock. I seen him nekked once, and it weren't no wonder that ol sheep of his didn't want much to do with him.

Breakin' Jed outta jail wasn't gonna be easy. It would require brains and cunning, I had some brains and them thespians had cunts. I told the girls to stay put, I knew jest what we needed and where to get it. Diny-mite, me and Jed run across a couple of cases at an old abandoned mine. I never used the stuff but how hard could it be.

"PSST, Jed you in there?" I whispered into the bars in the back side of the jailhouse.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"It's me, Jake, we're here to bust you out," I said.

"What fer?" he asked.

"Don't you want out?" I asked, getting' kinda puzzled.

"Never really thunk much about it, they feed good in here," he said.

He was lookin' out the window at me now, "Well, Jed ifin you would rather stay in there and miss out on all this free pussy..." I said jest as Mary raised her dress and showed hers to him.

Jed was shakin the bars and kickin, maybe we wouldn't need no diny-mite jest pussy to get him out.

After a few minutes, it didn't appear that the bars was gonna give, so I said, "Stand back pard, I me some diny-mite here to get you out,"

I asked Wilda, her bein the oldest and all, "How much should I use?"

"You've no experience with explosive? My lord, I thought you knew about this," she replied.

"Not yet, but I'm fixin' to learn," I said.

Jed chimed in, "Use it all,"

"You reckon?" I said.

"Girls, we should retire to a safer location," said Mary, as they hurried down the alley.

"OK pard, stand back," I said as I struck the match on the wall and lit the fuse.

I figured it wouldn't be a good idea to stand there and watch so I took off after the girls. I made it about half way. WHOOOM! 'I think maybe I used too much," I said to myself as I went squirtin' out of the alley face first. After findin' my hat and pullin' my boots back on, I made my way back to where to jail used to be. The girls was on their way with the wagon.

Jed was standin' there with the door to his cell in his hands, the rest of the jailhouse was blasted to dust. He had confused look on his face, jest like normal.

"Come on we got to high tail it," I yelled.

"Huh?" was his reply.

"Let's beat it Jed," I yelled even louder.

Jed didn't act like he heard me so I latched on to one ear and started to run, he followed.

When we got back to camp Jed started to get some of his hearing back. He didn't appear to be any the worse for wear cept his ears, well and most of his hair was burnt off of course.

I was thinkin 'bout a little celebration fuckin when I heard the hoofs off in the distance. It sounded like quite a few riders, maybe ten or twelve. How many are in a posse these days? I hadn't figured on them chasin' us, but I never expected to blow the shit outta the jailhouse neither. We was sure to be in a heap of shit in about a minute or so.

The girls were actin' kinda funny and takin' off their duds. Couldn't they see we was about to be caught? I tried to explain the situation to grandma, but she told me not to worry they had things under control.

Jed and me got hid in the bushes about the time the sheriff come along with his posse. That fat ol' sheriff pulled his horse up short jest in time to see Bertha pullin down her drawers and pointin' her hairy crack in his direction.

"Looking for something sheriff?" she asked with a big ol' smile on both sets of lips.

"Well... we was... ah... huntin'... what the hell was we doin' boys?" he looked mighty confused at the time.

Mary and Wilda finished strippin' off, now they was all three nekked and smilin' at the posse.

"If you boys would like to get a little more comfortable, I'm sure that we can come to some sort of an arrangement," said Mary.

The whole dang posse was dismounted and outta their clothes before I could blink twice. They was lined up and hard and the dust hadn't even settled yet. The sheriff was sinkin' his pecker balls deep in Bertha while Mary was doin' that fell-a-chio shit on one of the deputies. Grandma musta had a bunch more experience, while one was puttin' it to her from behind, she had a hard cock in each hand. Jed's eyes was 'bout the size of silver dollars as he watched the show.

I knew it was time to make a move, all eyes were focused on the nearest pussy.

"Let's go Jed," I said

I ran out and started scoopin' up clothes and six shooters. That dumb ass Jed shucked his clothes and shinnied up in line behind the nekkid posse. Did I tell you Jed weren't too smart?

The head honcho was ruttin' and gruntin' like a bull elk when I stepped up and threw the hammer back on the .44 I had in my hand. I positioned it right between his beady little eyes.

"OK sheriff, hands up," I barked

I waited for them all to get acquainted with the notion that their guns and clothes were missin'. That stupid ass Jed figured I had the drop on him too so he was the first to raise his hands.

"You all get back to fuckin', jest keep your hands up while I talk with the lawman here," I ordered.

"Dang it Jake, it ain't right pointin' a man's own gun on him," he whined.

"Would it relax you any if I pointed this one at you?" I asked, holdin' up the pistol in my other hand.

"I reckon," he said.

"Ok then," I said as I aimed the left hog leg at his forehead, "Sheriff, we seem to have a small problem here. I reckon you ain't too keen that I busted Jed outta jail,"

"Did ya have to go and turn the dern place to gravel? Why didn't you jest go through the front door? It weren't locked,"

"I suppose I never give it a thought, I'm right sorry sheriff that I went and ruined your jail but you had no call to lock Jed up it the first place," I said.

"That weren't my doin' Jake, that was the Mayor dun that," he said pointin' over his shoulder with his thumb.

I saw the Mayor over yonder 'bout to slide his skinny little pecker into that canyon between Bertha's thighs, "Hey you, asshole," I said pointin' the sheriff's pistol toward the Mayor, "You get your ass on over here,"

The Mayor reluctantly made his way towards us, "Ah Jake, I was about to get my first piece of ass in twenty years," He was almost bawlin' his eyes out.

I felt real bad for him, wouldn't you? No pussy for twenty years, "If you promise me not to do somethin' stupid, how 'bout we sit down over a cup of coffee and settle this mess after you're done fuckin'?" I offered.

"Sure Jake, sure, anything you say Jake," he said as he trotted off only to find he had to get back to the end of the line. "You too sheriff, and I apologize for interrupting' mid fuck, that weren't fair,"

The lawman smiled and joined the crowd. I fixed a big ol' pot of cowboy mud and sat down by the fire and waited for the girls to soften up the posse. It was near sun up when the fuckin' ended. Them thespians sure knew how to make a man agreeable. Only one that was left standin was Jed, he still had his hands in the air thinkin I still had the drop on him. What a dumb ass.

The posse was all pussied out and the Mayor agreed to forget about the whole thing. I had to chuckle a little at how he was gonna explain the smell of fuckin, to his wife. The sheriff told me he was glad we worked it all out since he didn't have a jail left to throw us in.

"To be or not to be, that is the question." Scuse me, I was jest rehearsin' my lines for the play. You see me and Jed, after all this shit, are real live thespians now. Shoot, a week ago I couldn't even spell it, now I is one.

See ya round the bend Pard. Maybe next time I'll tell you how me and Jed come to be scouts for General Custer.