Jasper

CHAPTER EIGHT

USUALLY MY website was the joy of my life. This time, though, nothing could pacify me. I curled on my bed with nothing on my skin, just a thick layer of the finest silk covering me, shielding me from the cold.

Isabelle tried to coax me to eat but I just lost the taste for food. Crying, sobbing and weeping were the only things I wanted to do. Yet, that relief was denied.

"Tatsumi, there's a hot guy for you," I heard Isabelle said through the door.

"Leave me alone!"

"I know you're feeling down but he won't go until you see him," she replied, trying to reason with

me.

He? Could it be Stephan? Had he, at least, accepted my apology?

Suddenly, the world seemed brighter and hope came. Without delay, I grabbed my red nightgown, brushed my hair, and opened the door.

The world abruptly darkened. It wasn't Stephan. No, it was Jasper.

"YOU!"

"Adina-"

"Isabelle," I yelled, "let him out of here!"

I started to close the door but Jasper was quicker. He literally pushed his way into my room, shut the door after him, and bolted it. The nerve of him!

"Out," I said beneath a whisper. My hands were shaking and my eyes were seeing red. "Out before I call the police."

Was he deaf or just dense?

He had the impudence to corner me to my bed, and when I was leaning against the bed frame, he clamped his hands around my waist and dumped me on the bed.

"Jasper!"

"From now onwards, you are mine, Adina Tatsumi Phillip. Mine, alone," he said.

I kicked him in his belly but he laughed. He actually laughed as he conjured a rope and bind my hands to the bed frame. He actually laughed when I cursed him with all profanities I knew. He actually laughed when I attempted to hurt him with my legs.

"What madness is this?" I demanded.

I was beginning to be afraid of him, the kind of fear that freezes you and makes you a watcher as the other party does whatever he wants with you.

"You," he whispered.

"Release me now!"

"I will, only after I pay you back."

CHAPTER NINE

WELCOME TO my hell.

I just didn't understand why I felt so revolted and incensed with myself. Every time I closed my eyes, his face was the only thing I saw. Ever since that dark night, I refused to talk to anyone. Somehow, I was a hermit crab more than I was. What hurt the most was how Stephan had given up on me. We'd been friends for so long.

Kendrick handled my site after I coaxed an extra ten percent for her time. As a witch, she was attuned to the emotions around her so I was glad that she agreed without any questions.

Isabelle was now under my Most Hated Person list. Forgiveness would never be in this context, let alone forgetting. I just didn't understand how she allowed herself to be manipulated. And what followed after that due to her carelessness-that would always be in front of my mind.

MONSOON SEASON was due next week. As I lay on my roof, my arms crossed under my head, I wondered how Stephan was. Was it last month since we met each other's eyes? How time flies. If only I could remedy the strained rubber band of our bond, I wouldn't hesitate. But the condition of that was too much for me.

"Why won't you forgive him, Adina? Why won't you tell me what's wrong? I can't believe how selfish both of you are, keeping secrets between yourselves, yet you don't seem to be in the same boat!"

*

Here I go...

So dishonestly leave a note...

For you my only one...

And I know...

You can see right through me...

So let me go...

And you will find someone...

*

IN THE end, I made the decision to change school far away from here. It didn't matter that it was already the end of the term, and that major exams had started. As long as I received good results, nothing but my own peace mattered. Besides, it was becoming too overbearing and exhausting. The rumors, the truths, the in-betweens-these things kept on going more and more ridiculous.

On the first day, I decided to wear a deep red

tank top, black skinny Jeans and crimson heels. Instead of a normal ponytail or single braid I usually wore, I let my long wavy black hair flowed. Then, I put on a light make-up, light pink eyeshades and eyeliners. The final touch was a rosy pink gloss. Perchance I was tired of myself because these weren't I. At all.

You could say that I was running away but it couldn't be helped. When the other party has more power than you do, he would surely win you over. I didn't want to worsen my life with frivolity such as Jasper's pompousness and selfishness. He was used to people agreeing with him and not defying him.

Yet, someway or somehow, he knew where I was. The moment I stepped into the school, with my new sexy look that screamed my voluptuousness, he was waiting in front of his black Porsche, looking like he owned the world. I hated to admit but he looked luscious. Wearing a black shirt that hugged his solid body, faded jeans and boots-not to mention the unmistakably (and unexpectedly) dark kohl beneath his eyes, he was hot.

That, however, did not excuse the reason of him being here.

How did he even know I was here?

I ignored him and made my way to the entrance. Just as I was a few inches away from where he was, his nonchalance demeanor dissipated as he blocked my way and, shamelessly, tugged me into his arms and kissed me fully.

For one second, I struggled. Breathlessly, I tried to pull out of his tight embrace, but he was stronger and taller than I was, not to include that he was the only person who knew me intimately. That, adding to how hot his lips were and tasted like fine Whisky.

"I missed you," he confessed, pulling my face

into his chest while he held me possessively. "You're making me crazy. I can't wipe away your scent, your feel, your voice when you cursed me when I took you."

"Why are you here?"

Jasper slid one hand behind the back of my nape and tilted up my head. Our eyes met-his were strained while mine were with resentment.

"Did you forget, literally, that you did not take me? You rape me, Jasper. RAPE."

His hand tightened around my neck. I flinched, but did not look away from his eyes. "Let me make it up to you. Let me..."

"Let you? Jasper, from the time we came back, you never gave me any choice. Never. You destroy my friendship with Stephan. Heck, you even destroy your friendship with him, all because you were so selfish! And still is! I don't need this at all. How do you even know I'm here?" I whispered with lurid fury.

Slowly, he uncurled his hand around my neck, only to wrap both arms around me. I floundered when I realized that eyes were watching us rather closely. Mayhap too closely. This was not supposed to happen at all. I was supposed to be opening a new book and today was supposed to be the first chapter.

"Jasper, what do you want from me?" I asked exasperatedly. "Isn't it enough that you make me changed school, lost my virginity to you? What more do you want from me? What should I do so that you will leave me alone?"

I hated to ask, to beg, to plead, but, damn it, I was so, so tired. I was tired of fighting, of regretting, of being angry. I was just so tired of him.

"Do you know how cruel you are to me? Do you know how...how selfish you are?"

I was startled, and frightened, when he growled and said, "I want you! You, Adina. You!"

Just then, the bell rang. I sighed inwardly, glad for the reality. Jared released me none too willingly, and scowled before saying, "We're not done, Adina. I'll see you at lunch."

CHAPTER TEN

WHEN I entered for the first lesson, it was English, and Ms Penn was very hilarious. Although I had to do more assignments than the others because of my late change of school, I was glad because I didn't have to hurt Stephan. I missed him more than anything but what could I do, really? If I told him the truth, he would hate Jasper for raping, and he would hate me because I was the reason for their broken friendship.

Silence didn't mean that it was settled but it was better.

Calculus was next. As much as I loved the subject, it was my weakest. So, when I was teamed up with Dexter Owen, a cute but quiet guy, I was thrilled to find a plus in him-he was brilliant. He was patient in explaining the problem and reminded me repeatedly the things that were important. When class finished, I braved myself to smile and thank him.

"Could you, like, help me? Like, can I ask you if I have, you know, some problems I don't

understand?" I asked shyly.

"Sure," he beamed-beamed, can you believe that?-at me.

"Thanks so much!"

At the same time, I flipped my hair and smiled again, Jasper passed by. I realized that he was watching after Dexter walked away and he stepped in front of me.

"Who is that?" he asked, unhappily.

"NOYB, Jasper," I informed flippantly. "Why do you care?"

"Where are you going?"

I pushed him away and went to my locker. This guy was smothering me! So much so, that it felt literal.

"Adina-"

"Jas. Per. Please. No. More."

He pulled me towards the stairs and pushed me to sit. I stared wearily as he paced back and forth, fists clenched tightly. His face was red, and his jaw was tight. I didn't think I could take this any longer and was about to speak up when he ceased abruptly and faced me.

"Do you know what's wrong with me? Do you?" He asked, desperately. He looked so confused and angry, so deep in turmoil that I wished I could make him smile. The atmosphere intensified when he pulled me up into his arms and buried his nose in my hair.

"Do you know how...how angry I was when I saw you smiling at another guy? Do you know how...how angry I was when you never smile at me that way? I-I miss the time we had when we were stranded. I-I-I miss your presence! Your laughter! Your lips... I hate myself for...for..." his voice grew hoarse, and I stiffened when he moaned with...with anguish.

"Please, please forgive me, Adina. I did you wrong! I-I-I hurt you! You are right; I am selfish! I am cruel! I am unfair to you! But I was so confused; everything happened so fast that I hated it. I hated the light that disrupted the moment! I..."

The rest was lost to me. Oh, God, he did feel the magical moment in the beach, the moment I mourned for, the moment lost when the light interrupted it! The moment that had kept me awake at night when we came back.

"...why you rejected me. I thought what we had shared was precious, extraordinary beyond words! I don't understand why you refuse me! Why, Adina, why? Don't you feel it, too?"

He settled on the steps, pulling me along to him. Then, he flipped me around so that my back was to his front.

"Every time I saw you ignoring me, I wondered why. And if you met my eyes, why were you so oblivion? You know, Stephan one day asked me what was going on between us, but I couldn't tell him. How, when I was so much a monster to you? I am ashamed of myself, yet I can't stay away from you, not after I know how you taste, how you feel in my arms. So right."

"You raped me, Jasper," I told him softly. "You smother me, stifle me, and cut off my breath. You stalk me day and night, haunting my dreams, filling my heart with emotions so myriad and different that I am drowning! Won't you release me, Jasper? Won't you let me free?"

"Adina..."

"Tell me what you want Jasper. If you refuse to let me go, just tell me what you want."

CHAPTER ELEVEN

IN THE end, we parted.

Not because we had come to a conclusion, but because he saw how exhausted and gaunt I was. I was surprised when he didn't pursue me like he usually did.

For once, I had a breather. I walked home with-guessed who?-Dexter Owen. Yep. We kind of met at the bus stand and sat next to each other. His silence was more than welcomed because it was calming and very, very undemanding. He reminded me of the boisterous company I shared with Stephan; it hurt. I wanted to see Stephan so much that I almost forgot the unwanted person in his house.

The receiver was already in my hand and I had the last button to press when I recalled The Leech. I never told you what happened after our lost friendship.

Well, this happened.

The Leech suddenly popped up and became his new

best friend, and The Leech happened to be Jasper's girlfriend-cum-ex. She made a scene in the café, and I was taken aback when Stephan looked at me with disapproval before walking away with her instead of consoling me. I was beyond upset; I was appalled. And then, I found out that Isabelle was paid to let Jasper in, a courtesy of The Leech. Worse, I found myself alone with the stalker. Like me against the crowd and me against Jasper.

I hoped that by changing school, I could at least numb myself from the pain caused by my trying to protect Stephan. In the end, I realized that I had no one but Jasper.

CHAPTER TWELVE

TO MY upmost disbelief, he left me alone throughout First Sem. I found it pleasing enough because I got to spend most of my time catching up on assignments and been tutored by Dexter. Although Stephan was lost to me, I wished I knew something to get him back. Yet, the thought of The Leech was enough to keep me in my place.

I became Mr. Yule's favorite student because I improved a lot. Not that it mattered to anyone but me. You see, Mr. Yule was a kind of Dork Teacher, with his extra thick glasses and almost bold hair, not to mention very clumsy, but I liked him-not because he favored me-but because he reminded me so much of myself. Besides, he was really nice, if you could overlook his flaws, and he never condemned others. He always encouraged and gave free tips and advices. That earned him many points.

"Miss Phillip, please see me after class," Mr. Yule said one day before English started. Despite of being his most favorite student, I was nervous. Well, I should be because I wasn't still adapting to this school although I had been here for almost six months.

"Miss Phillip, I am pleased beyond words by your grades," he began.

"But..."

"But I heard that Ms Aurora is not pleased with yours in her class."

Great. Ms Aurora the cousin to The Leech wasn't pleased with me. I doubted she would, not only because I 'stole' her cousin's boyfriend but also because she failed to get into Jasper's pants. Yep, it was true. Ms Aurora told me herself when we were alone. Not that I cared. Except for my grades, of course.

"Mr. Yule, I know...it's really not your business, to know, but Ms Aurora hates me. I swear I'm not making this up because I have no issues with her. You can ask Dexter Owen; he's been helping me with my Calculus," my anxiety must have shown because he poured-surprise, surprise-a mug of hot coffee for me and asked me to sit. I never knew how serious he was with my well-being until now.

"You need at least three for each class to graduate, right, Miss Phillip?" He spoke, not asking but stating a fact.

"Yes and the only person's class that I got eight is Ms. Aurora's," I agreed, sipping the coffee slowly, which was delicious and not too black. "I'll try my best, Mr. Yule, because you have been so supportive of me."

Mr. Yule was startled by my gratitude. Then, he presented me with a smile so warm and so unlike him that I couldn't help but smile back.

"I really mean it. I'll try to ace my Calculus so that Ms. Aurora has no choice but to give me what I deserve. I promise this to you, Mr. Yule."

"W-well," he stammered. "Since you have promised, I tell you what. You concentrate on the coming tests. I'll deal with Ms. Aurora."

"B-but-" I sputtered, this time.

"No buts, Miss Phillip. I have never seen any hardworking student like you for a long time."

Wow, a true revelation from a teacher. I never dreamt of this miracle before.

When I left the room, I was all warm and glowing. Somehow, I felt that I wasn't so alone after all. I had a new friend in Dexter-not like what I had once with Stephan, but I couldn't complain-who had been so generous and kind, and now I had a benefactor in Mr. Yule.

SUMMER ARRIVED and the house I shared with double-crossing Isabelle and five other girls was jammed with kids from my former high school. I was locked up in my own secured room with bolted doors and windows. I had Calculus to study and I had Amy Lee full volume to block out the chaos.

So engrossed I was in my work that I hadn't heard the tapping on the door growing to rude banging. Grumbling incessantly, I stomped my way and unlocked it.

It was a mistake.

"J-Jared? What are you doing here?"

He locked the door after him, heaving a sigh of relief before guiltlessly lunged himself onto my bed.

"Jasper, off my bed. Now." I demanded, crossing my arms over my tummy. My breasts, if you know, were not small so much so that I could place my arms over them. That would be very uncomfortable, if you must know.

"Come, now, I had just run away from a slimy slut who was trying to get into my pants," he complained, but complied by choosing to sit on the armchair by the window, instead.

"Serves you right," I muttered before continuing with my work.

"Don't tell me you're studying?" he asked, askance at the mere thought of it.

"What? It's not your business if I do!" I snapped at him. Goodness, his sheer presence was distracting me. We hadn't even met for six months and a half-not that I was counting, okay?-and then he suddenly popped into my world like a genie.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I hadn't meant to ask him but I was curious. Who would have invited him, really? I doubted Isabelle did because she was not as brave as I knew, not until money was involved. But then, maybe she did invite him if someone paid her, right?

"I was not invited, just so you know."

"No?"

Oops, that question was too much a revelation that I did care. About him. Incredulous, wasn't it? But truth is truth and there was no way back now.

Jasper grinned at me before he pulled me up unceremoniously into his arms and held me tight. I slumped into him, my arms curling around him, like he had clicked on a switch inside me. He returned to the armchair and pulled me down onto his laps, his arms never leaving mine.

"I miss you, you know," he whispered huskily as he entwined our fingers together. "These past six months and a half have been hell."

"Why..." I stopped myself. I didn't want to ask him when I knew the answer to my question.

"Why what?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, you don't have to hide from me," he urged gently.

"Why...why hell?" I asked. Now that I did ask, it sure sounded dumb to me.

"Don't tell me you don't know? Adina, Adina, Adina," he tsked, shaking his head slowly. "If you must know, you are...my addiction, Adina."

"Addiction?"

Addiction? Why did that sound so...so sick? I didn't want to be anyone's addiction because 1) it's not healthy, and 2) I sounded so much like a drug!

"Yes. It sounds dirty, but it's not. I cannot stay away from you for more than five minutes, Adina, but I had promised myself to give you time. It's the hardest thing I have ever done but...it's worth it. Six months and a half and I'm still crazy about you," he spoke slowly.

"You are?" I asked, stunned by his confession.

"Of course! Why did you even ask?"

"Well..."

"No one has ever made me realize how selfish and self-centered I have been. I'm rich, I'm famous, and everyone likes me. Then you came along and I awoke from my dream. You made me see the brilliance of the stars at night whilst I was alone, and I wished you were there with me."

"Jasper, I cannot forgive you for what you've done to me...here...in this room," I told him. My voice was hoarse, and to my horror, tears were rolling down my face. Big, fat, hot tears gushing, abashing.

I could feel him stiffening.

"Even when I found myself alone in this world with no one but you, that night....that night..."

When he didn't react, I tried to pull up and away from him. He resisted. Typically.