Jennifer and Justin

"This is stupid. This is a really dumb idea, Mom. Let me just call him, and I'll tell him that I don't want it."

My son had been ranting for the past ten minutes. I remained calm and tried to reason with him, but he was persistent. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, he had another argument ready to go.

"Mom, come on. Just forget about it. Let's call it off."

"Justin, sweetness, calm down. It's just a car. It's generous of your dad to offer it to you, but you know him, it will come with no strings attached. You'll finally have a car you won't have to share with your mom. You need this car. You'll be away at University in three short months, and this car will be so valuable to you. I think you're being shortsighted. It's a graduation gift from your dad, accept it graciously honey."

"He's a piece of shit."

"Justin, he's your da-

"He's a piece of shit who hasn't lifted a finger for eighteen years. You've done everything. He doesn't get to just swoop in and pretend like he's father of the damn year."

"Justin, he was very young when you were born. He was only eighteen, cut the guy a little slack."

"So were you! You were also only eighteen. In fact you were even younger than him, and his parents didn't kick him out of the house like yours did! Mom, you did EVERYTHING! You still do everything!"

Justin's face was blotchy and he was making fists with his hands. I hated to see him like this. He was normally such a calm, thoughtful kid. Well, I guess more man than kid now. My little baby was now over 6 feet tall with a square jaw and a muscular build. The only thing boyish about him was his sandy blond hair. As hard as it was for me to admit, he was now a man. I was reluctant to say it out loud, but he was definitely entitled to his opinions about his father. I didn't want to be the one to validate them, after I had spent so many years protecting his father from his scrutiny.

The summer before my senior year of high school, I fell hard for Marcus. He was gorgeous and he drove a great car. I was not a shallow girl, but something about him swept me off my feet. My infatuation was short-lived. Once he got into my pants, he proved to be a horrible lover and even worse boyfriend. Even though he was my first, I knew immediately that he was never going to be interested in my pleasure or happiness, only his own. After a few unsatisfying weeks, I broke it off. It wasn't until I was nearly out of my first trimester that I even realized I was pregnant. My parents kicked me out, and Marcus barely returned my phone calls. I moved in with my grandmother, who, like me, had been a teenage mother. She had given that child up for adoption many years before her next child, my father was born. She had regretted it ever since, and took pity on me when she discovered my predicament. Living with her was so much better than living with my parents, pregnant or otherwise. I managed to graduate high school, find work, and give birth all in the year of my 18th birthday. Marcus lived just two miles away, but only visited with Justin once or twice a year, and only for a few minutes. He never kicked in money for anything. He wasn't much of a parent. I knew it, but I never pushed. I figured he would do what he could. Marcus married another girl from our high school, and divorced her a few years later. He would marry and divorce two more times in the next several years. I knew I dodged a bullet when I broke it off with him.

My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer when Justin was five, and she passed away less than a year later. She left us the house, and we've been in it ever since. A year after her death, when Justin was in school full time, I decided to pursue my calling: yoga. I had been waiting tables and working menial retail jobs since his birth, but knew that was not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Yoga had always been a passion, and so I decided that I would immerse myself in it, and become an instructor. Within five years of that decision, not only was I one of the city's most popular instructors, but I opened my own yoga studio.

Meanwhile, Justin blossomed into an amazing child. He was bright, vivacious, funny, and loving. I was and still am so proud of him. He was the light of my life. I went on the occasional date, usually a blind date that was set up by a friend or client, but the number one man in my life had always been my son. He was loyal and kind. I would sometimes feel lonely, and I was really craving sexual contact, but decided that what I had at home was enough family for me, and I would delay any romantic aspirations until Justin was grown and out of the house. I figured I could always date later. I knew I was attractive. Years of living a healthy, stress-free lifestyle with daily yoga had kept my body in incredible shape. I was 36, but would still get carded when buying a bottle of wine with my groceries. There was a part of me that really wanted to be married, live a quiet life with someone, grow old with them. There was also part of me that really wanted to get fucked, aggressively. Sometimes, I even entertained the thought of getting pregnant again. But it could all wait, I convinced myself. Justin came first. Justin and I grew up together, so i didn't feel as though I'd sacrificed my youth to raise him. I felt like life was just starting for the both of us.

I watched Justin pace the living room, and contemplated what I would say next.

"How about this, baby boy: it'll be great for dating. You hardly ever go on dates, and I know the shared car situation doesn't help. Think of the freedom you'll have once you have a car!"

"Really, Mom? Dating? That's your sales pitch?"

"It was worth a try."

"This is Marcus we're talking about, Mom. The car will probably be a nightmare."

"He said it was used, but in very good condition, Justin. Give him the benefit of the doubt."

Justin rolled his eyes and walked over to where I was sitting on the couch. He sat down on the cushion on the opposite end, and looked at me to see what my reaction would be to his next statement. "How about we get the car, I sell it, and give you the cash?"

"Justin! What on earth for? I don't need the money for anything."

"You can use it on anything you want! Blow it all on a spa day and a new outfit or something!"

"Excuse me, kid? Are you saying I'm not attractive or something? I need a makeover?"

"Oh come on, Mom," he blushed. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

His statement caught me off guard. "I'm what? Come on, get real."

"Just stop. You know you're hot. You turn every head in the room wherever we go. If you weren't my mom...."

"If I wasn't your mom...what?" My heart skipped a beat.

"Never mind." He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and avoided eye contact with me.

"Come on, what were you going to say?"

"If you weren't my mom I'd have a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

I was truly stunned by this statement. Justin was embarrassed to say it, and I was embarrassed to hear it. I had become more and more aware of Justin not only as a male, and a grown man, but also as a sexual creature. I had cleaned enough bedsheets and washed enough underwear to know that he ejaculated copious amounts of semen. I spent a little too much time observing it whenever I discovered it, and sometimes it even became fodder for my own masturbatory fantasies, but I'd purge such ideas out of my head whenever I became overwhelmed. I tried to disconnect the acts from the person, but in the end, not only did the thought of someone jerking off turn me on, the idea that it was him was sometimes too much to handle.

"Well you do a pretty good job of keeping your hands to yourself, J."

"It takes some effort."

"Oh really now? Am I just that tempting?"

"Yes, you are." He was very serious. "When you strut around in some of your yoga outfits, I have a hard time focusing on anything else. It's even worse when I see you in your underwear, or in a towel after you shower."

I honestly did not know this. Justin and I had more or less grown up together, because I was still so young and immature when I had him. It wasn't until the last year or two that I began to feel more like his mother, and less like some older sister in charge. I never felt like I had the moral authority, and he was such a good kid, he didn't need very much parenting. I did often strut around not aware of what I was wearing, often in just a tank top and some panties, but it never occurred to me that he'd view me as anything other than the annoying lady who lived with him. The thought that my body might turn him on sent a surge of heat and electricity to my crotch, and I gently squeezed my legs together to relieve the tension.

"Well if it makes you uncomfortable to see me dressed a certain way you can tell me and I'll stop."

"Ok, Mom. I'll be sure to do that."

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Your dad is going to be here any minute. You ready to go?"

"Sure."

"Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Then go."

"Turn around."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm going to get up and go to the bathroom, but you need to face the door for a minute."

I chuckled. "What's up with the crazy talk, J?"

"I've got a huge boner."

My jaw dropped. "TMI. I didn't need to know that."

"Well you would have found out the minute I stood up. All this talk about your body did it." He shifted a little, and then used his right hand to adjust his now obviously hard cock in his jeans. I felt liquid flooding my panties almost instantly. The reaction was involuntary. I felt ashamed but I couldn't stop the feeling of being turned on. I crossed my arms over my chest, because I was sure my nipples were hardening and would show through my shirt.

"OK, well now I know. So stand up. You're probably uncomfortable, so you know, go relieve yourself or something."

Justin slowly began to stand, and just at that moment, the doorbell rang.

"Too late. Let's just go." He grunted.

"Are you sure? I can stall with your dad while you go to the bathroom."

"No, forget it. It'll deflate the minute I see his face."

I walked to the door. "Just go to the bathroom. It'll be fine."

Justin ran to the bathroom, and I opened the door. "Hi Marcus. Come in out of the rain."

Marcus looked...ridiculous. Time had not agreed with him. He tried too hard to dress youthful. He was still somewhat handsome, but after hair dye, Botox, and some really bad teeth capping, he looked almost cartoonish.

"Hey gorgeous lady! Come here and give your baby daddy a hug!" I reluctantly moved toward him, and managed to hug him with as little physical contact as possible, pulling away within a second.

"Where's our little genius kid?"

"He's not little, Marcus."

"Yeah yeah but he's always going to be my little genius kid. Still straight A's?"

"Yes, his grades are great." If I wasn't so easygoing and my expectations weren't so low, I might be appalled at Marcus's lack of real interest in our son. But after so many years of this, I came to just live with it, and try to appreciate what little attention Marcus was willing to pay him.

"So where is he?"

"In the bathroom, he'll be out in a second."

"I'm right here," Justin said from the hallway.

"That was quick." I looked at him questioningly, because he wasn't gone long enough to relieve himself, sexually at least.

"Are we ready to go?" Justin was always all business around his dad. He became very unemotional whenever Marcus was around.

"Hey! Yeah yeah, come give your old man a hug! Let's get going so you can see this baby!"

"After you, Mom," Justin opened the door and quickly opened an umbrella outside the threshold to hold over my head.

"Oh, I wasn't planning on going. I figured it would be a guy thing. Besides, I'm not really dressed for rain." I was in capri pants, a tank top, and a very light sweater.

"That's ok, Mom, just pull on a coat or something." Justin stepped back inside and swung open the entry closet door, grabbing the first coat he could find.

"Um, ok. I mean, if that's ok with you, Marc."

"Yeah yeah, the more the merrier! Jennifer, you are gonna love this car!"

"What is it?"

"It's a Toyota MR2."

This freaked me out a little. "Do they even make those any more? How old is this car?"

"It's vintage, baby!" Marcus went on and on about the car as we walked out to his car, a very nice, very new SUV. We hustled in to avoid getting more wet. Justin settled in the back seat, and I sat in the passenger front seat. By the time Marcus started driving, Justin cut him off to ask him just how old the car was. "It's from 1992. Hey Justin, that's older than you, kid! Hah, I just realized the car is older than you!" I glanced back to see Justin roll his eyes.

I didn't find this amusing or reassuring. "This car is safe, right?"

"Yeah yeah sure! It'll be fine. Those things were really built to last."

"How many miles are on it?" Now Justin was asking the questions. He was also concerned.

"Eh, I forget. It's not that big a deal though, it's a good car."

"How did you get this car?" Justin's tone was sounding less and less polite.

"I did this guy a solid, but he couldn't pay for some mechanical work on another car, and he had this one just laying around. He gave it to me, we settled our debts, win win for everyone."

I had mistakenly assumed we'd just be driving the couple of miles distance to Marcus's house, but ten minutes later, I realized I had no idea where we were going. "Where is the car?"

"It's still at the guy's house. We have to get it from him. He's gonna sign over the title and everything when we get there."

"Fantastic." More of Justin's famous sarcasm. I looked back, and saw the annoyed look on my son's face. I reached a hand back to where he was sitting, and he leaned forward to clutch it with both of his. His touch felt electric to me. I don't know if it was the sexually charged talk back at the house, but the feelings I had when he gripped and massaged my hand were definitely not maternal. After a minute of massaging my hand, he gently lifted it to his face, and started to kiss the fingers. It felt so luxurious and decadent to me. I forgot where I was a moment, but then remembered that we were in a car with Marcus, and snapped my hand back to the front of the car.

We rode the rest of the way making polite, meaningless conversation. After another ten or so minutes, we arrived at the destination in some residential neighborhood that I wasn't familiar with.

"Here we are!" The car was parked on the street in front of the house. It looked horrible, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions about its operation based on how it looked. Marcus jumped anxiously out of the car, and made a beeline for the front door. Justin and I weren't sure what to do, so we just sat there, waiting for some cue from him. The front door opened and a woman handed Marcus some small items. The door to the house closed within a few seconds, and Marcus skipped back in the rain to the car. He jumped back into the driver's seat.

"Here you go, kid! Keys, title, the whole shebang! The car is yours!" He shoved an envelope and two keys into Justin's hand.

"Well, thanks Marcus," I spoke, because I knew Justin was not going to be enthusiastic. "A car is a great graduation present. We really are grateful."

"Hey, it was the least I could do for my only kid, right? Enjoy it! Ride it in good health! You can always bring it in to the shop for me to service it. Call it the Daddy Warranty!" Marcus was cracking himself up.

Justin and I got out of the car, and hustled over to the parked Toyota. I tried the passenger side handle and Marcus the drive side, and both were unlocked.

"This is a two seater. I didn't realize it only seats two." I was not happy with this car for a number of reasons, but sitting in it made me realize how impractical it was. This would not have been my pick if I had gotten Justin a car. I realized I had it within my power to fix this.

"Listen, J, you were right. You should sell this. Why don't you sell this car, and we'll go together and put a nice down payment on a new car that's more practical? I'll even make the payments on it. Besides, don't you have some money saved from Gran? And your job?"

Justin leaned over to kiss my cheek. "I love you Mom. You don't have to buy me a car. I'll work something out. Yes, I do have some money stashed away. I could easily go out and get a car, I just don't think I need one. We'll talk about it when we get home. But how about I take my best girl to dinner right now in my new car? Want to be my first date in this car?"

I loved the way he was flirting with me. I leaned back toward him, and kissed his cheek. He smiled, and then leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips.

"So? Do we have a date?" he pressed. There was my persistent kid again.

"Yes. If you don't mind being seen with an old lady, I would be honored."

"Honestly? No one thinks you're an old lady. When we went up the coast on vacation over the summer, you know the innkeeper thought we were newlyweds, right?"

"Justin! No! You didn't tell me! I hope you corrected him."

"Mom, did you think that comped bottle of wine and fruit basket was just a coincidence or something?"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"I was kind of proud, actually. It was thrilling to think people thought we were a couple."

As I was letting this information sink in, Marcus gave two taps of his horn, waved his hand, and drove off. We watched him drive away, then looked back at each other.

"So, my pretend wife, dinner?"

I laughed. "Sure, why not? Since you're the man in this relationship, why don't you pick the place."

"Sushi it is." His confidence made me laugh even more.

He put the key in the ignition, and of course it wouldn't turn over. "Shit. Really? The car doesn't even start?"

He tried again, and after a little sputtering, finally it started up.

"You know, honey, maybe we should postpone dinner and just get this thing home. I don't want to be stranded out in the rain."

"Me neither Mom. Let's go home and park this thing, and we'll take our car out instead. I'll have a reputable mechanic look at it this weekend or something."

"Sounds like a plan," I said, smiling over at my uber responsible kid.

Justin carefully pulled out onto the street, and we began to sputter along.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Yeah, we're not that far off the highway, actually."

"OK good, at least one of us knows where we are. It's so dark from the rain, I can't even see the street signs."

"Don't stress it Mom. We'll be fine."

The car was making more noise, and stranger noise. I was getting more and more nervous as we drove on. Finally, about two blocks before we would have hit the highway, the car came to a halt.

"Shit. Is this the part where I say, 'I told you so' when I said this was a stupid idea and I didn't want dad's stupid gift?" He kept trying to start it again, but it was stalled. It wouldn't start at all.

I sighed. He was right, of course. "I'll call Marcus and have him come get us."

"Forget it Mom, let's dump this piece of shit and we'll take a cab. I'll call a cab." He got his phone out of his coat pocket.

"Don't be ridiculous, we can't just abandon a car on the street." It was tempting, but I decided to be the voice of reason and call Marcus.

I got Marcus on the phone after three tries, and with Justin's help was able to tell him the intersection where we were stranded. He said he'd be "right there", which in Marcus time could be hours. Best case scenario: he would show up within five or six minutes because that's how far away he was. More likely scenario: we'd be sitting in the car for at least an hour.