Jennifer Ch. 03

"Thank you for trying. I'm going to go find her."

I walked to the patio and made my trek to the beach. Coming through high grass, I saw her with all of her siblings, minus Eric. The closer I got, the clearer their conversation became.

"It's revolting Jenny," Charlotte said. "How could you let this happen? It's not so hard to be with a guy. Hell, you've been with guys. So, why her?"

Nick and Will nodded their agreement with her.

"I don't know, Charlotte," Jen sighed, defeated. She'd been through so much tonight, I know, but that hurt. She couldn't come up with a reason for her sister. "Maybe I'm just fucked up in the head like mom. She disapproves, too, you know? What a hypocrite, right?"

"She made a mistake, Jennifer. She made a mistake and learned from it. Are you going to learn from yours," Nick said walking off, with Will following closely behind him.

"Charlotte, please," Jen begged. "Try to understand."

"There's nothing to understand. You really are a disappointment to our family. Mom, Nick, Will, and I want nothing to do with you. Dad and Eric can do whatever they choose. I'm sorry."

She walked off leaving Jen sobbing to herself. She sat down on the sand pulling her knees up to her chest as I walked over. When I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her she stiffened.

"Alex, please. I just need some time," she cried.

"Don't listen to them, babe," I started. "They don't get it. They want to live in the tiny box that society created for them. They're too caught up to even want to look at something new. Something different."

"Something normal is what they want," she said, dejectedly. "Please, go. Before I do something I going to regret."

It took me a minute to realize what was happening. I thought back to her ultimatum she gave her mother. She wasn't going to stick by it. Sure, she'd give up her mom, but she wasn't expecting to have to give up her whole family. She was sure that everyone else would be okay with this. "Jen, don't," I said, tears starting to fall. "Please, don't do what I think you're going to do."

She looked over at me, tears of her own falling. She removed my hand from around her and held it between both of her hands. "They're my family, Alex. I didn't think that they would take it like that. I love you but..."

I interrupted her by pulling her in for a kiss. She said she loved me! We haven't said it to each other yet and she picks now, when she's breaking up with me, to do it. She didn't kiss me back but she didn't push me away either. I moved my lips as hers stayed still, no emotion. The only emotion I received from her was the tears that were falling from her eyes and onto my cheeks. Finally I pulled back. I took one of my hands and cupped her face. She leaned her head into that hand and kissed my palm.

"What happened to a month ago," I asked.

"What do you mean," she sniffled.

"You said I wasn't going to be a mistake, but that's basically what you're saying now." She started shaking her head. I jumped up before she could say anything. "Don't shake your head! You're breaking up with me. You think this is a mistake because some of your family can't wrap their heads around it. You're running scared."

"I'm not running scared," she screamed. "I don't want to lose my family! You know that if the situation were reversed you would be second guessing this relationship, too! Tell me that if given the chance you wouldn't go back and try to keep your parents together! Tell me you don't miss them and wish that they would have reacted differently to you coming out! Tell me that you would pick someone you've known for a month over people you've known for 20+ years! I know that's slightly harder for you to understand because you haven't had your parents in your life for years, but please understand. You're not in this situation, so don't tell me what I'm doing or what I think."

She came over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders, forcing us to look in each other's eyes. When she spoke, her voice was softer. "I meant it when I said I love you." I started shaking my head so she grabbed it and held me in place. I was crying so much that when she wiped the tears from my cheeks, two seconds later more came sliding down. "Don't tell me what I feel, either. I love you, but I can't deal with this right now. I need to get my family to understand. I need them to be on my side before I continue. Please, tell me you understand and respect that. If you don't want to wait for that to happen, I'll understand. I'm not meaning for this to be goodbye forever. I just need some time. "

I pulled her in for a quick embrace, kissing the top of her head in the process. I couldn't say anything to her. I didn't know what to say anymore. I walked away back to the hotel. I was numb, much like when she walked out on me the first time. I gave this girl my whole heart to keep, to protect, and now it's in pieces.

When I got off the elevator on my floor I saw her whole family walking down the hall. I don't know what came over me but all this anger came out and landed directly on them. I was sure Jen would hate me for this but I didn't care at this point.

"Hey," I screamed. "Yeah, you guys." They all turned around. Her mom, Charlotte, Nick, and Will glared, while her dad and Eric just stared at me. I started clapping. "Are you happy? You got rid of the dyke in your midst."

"What are you talking about," Eric questioned.

"Jen just dumped me for all of you. After four of you just treated her like complete shit. Yeah, Charlotte, Nick, Will. I saw you guys yelling at her on the beach. Well you did it. You get your straight sister back. Congratulations."

"Alright, Alex," Eric interrupted, coming towards me and pulling me gently towards my room. "That's enough for right now."

The four of them started yelling at me as Jen's dad tried to pull them into his room. I wasn't paying attention. I did, however, hear the elevator chime and see Jen get off just as Eric opened the door to my room. He turned towards her handing her his room key.

"Go to my room for a second while I talk to Alex."

"Why are you talking...?"

"Jen, just go," he sighed.

When he and I finally walked into the room there was a red rose petal trail leading to the beds. I had 10 strings hanging from the ceiling with sticky notes on them each containing a message. When put together the full message read:

You are amazing. I love you with all my heart.

Further in the room there were more rose petals spread out on one of the beds with a box of chocolates.

"Alex, what is all of this," Eric said picking up the chocolates.

"This was my attempt at having a romantic night laid out for her. But that's shot to hell now isn't it?" I went to the bathroom and grabbed my belongings, putting them in my suitcase. "Can you give me the number to the airline so I can change my flight?"

"Alex, you aren't running away," he said firmly while I continued packing. "That's exactly what they want. If you run then my siblings can gloat about how they won."

"You're right, I'm not running away. I was broken up with, so I'm leaving. There's a big difference. So please, give me the number."

He sighed, realizing he couldn't change my mind. "I'll call for you. When do you want to leave?"

"Next available flight."

I finished packing my things while he was on the phone. The next flight out was in 2 hours so I had plenty of time to take a cab to the airport.

"Thanks, Eric. I appreciate it," I said as I opened the door and walked out into the hall. Of course there was her family, staring at us. I was tempted to tell them to take a picture, but I didn't need to, Eric did.

"Do you guys have a spying problem," he called to them.

"Just wondering where you were," Nick replied.

"I'm helping Alex get ready to leave. I'll be in the room in a minute." He turned to look at me. "Do you need money for the cab?"

"No, thanks though."

He pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear. "You make my sister happy. She'll come around eventually. Especially when she sees the room."

"Shit," I said a little too loudly. "I should probably take that stuff down."

"Nah, leave it. It'll be good."

"Okay," I said, pushing the elevator button. "Thanks again, for everything. There's no layover's right?"

"Nope. One way, non-stop. You're good to go."

"Well, take care." I looked over to Jennifer and saw her fighting back tears. Charlotte waved bye to me. You know the wave. The one that's excited because you're leaving. I quickly hopped on the elevator so as not to do something I would regret later.

~~~~~~~~~~

By the time I was in a cab it was 8 in the morning. I didn't want to go home. Over the past month most of her stuff has found its way in my apartment, and I couldn't stand to see any of it right now. I gave the cab driver Avery's address and looked out the window for the ride, silently crying. The cab driver noticed but didn't say anything, which I was appreciative of. When we arrived at Avery's he helped me carry my bags to the doorstep, saying a low 'have a good day,' before he left.

Ringing the doorbell, I waited patiently until Avery answered. I guess she decided to be a lazy bum today because she was still in her pink robe that she wore frequently.

"Alex?! What are you doing here," she questioned. "I thought you were getting in tomorrow?"

"We broke up, Avery. I had to leave. I couldn't stand to stay there with them."

She ushered me inside and had me tell her everything that happened. She was sympathetic for the most part, only laughing when I told her about going off on her family in the hallway.

"You do realize that may cause some problems in the future, right," she asked.

"I don't care. They made me mad. They ruined my relationship. Everything was fine until they decided that it was 'revolting' and that they couldn't handle it."

"Sweetie, I know you don't want to hear it, but..."

"If you're going to say 'I told you so,' you're right, I don't wanna hear it. So please, don't go there," I interrupted her.

"I'm not going to kick you while you're down. I was just going to say giving her space is probably the best thing you can do right now. If you don't, she may decide that she doesn't want to be with you at all anymore."

I thought hard about what she said, coming to the conclusion that she was right. I needed to do as Jen asked and give her space. That's exactly what I intended to do.

"So, Rachel and I are having breakfast if you'd like to come around 9..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night I was sitting in my living room watching TV when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Jen reading:

I should be at the apartment between 7 and 8 in the morning. Can I get my things?

I quickly replied yes, that I would be out, but I'll leave a spare key under my doormat. I didn't want to be there as I watched her remove her things from my apartment. However, to make things easier I decided to pack for her. I went to my room and grabbed the small suitcase she had brought clothes over in a while back and placed it on my bed. Walking to the closet I started removing her clothes from the left side and folding them neatly before placing them in the suitcase. She didn't bring much seeing as she still had a lease with her apartment. She stayed here maybe 2-3 nights a week. So she just had a few clothing items, some toiletries, and the occasional movie or CD.

I brought the suitcase out into the living room and started writing a note to let her know that all of her stuff was right here, but she could feel free to go through and see if I missed anything. I taped the note to the outside of my apartment door and placed the spare key under the mat. Sitting down on my couch I went back to watching TV.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up the next morning to a light tap on my shoulder and a familiar voice. "Alex, sweetie, wake up." It was Jen.

"Jen?" I jumped up and looked at my cell phone, wincing. I slept on my shoulder the wrong way. Awesome. But it was 7:45 so I knew I forgot to set my alarm so I wouldn't be here.

"Yeah, I guess you overslept. You said you would be out, so I figured I would wake you in case you missed something important," she said sincerely.

I walked to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and some aspirin from the cabinet, and proceeded to take two. "No, I didn't have anything to do. I just didn't want to be here when you left."

"Oh," her face fell. "Well, I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way."

"You're fine," I said nonchalantly. "Like I said in the note, look around to see if I missed anything. I'm going to lie down. You've got the spare key, so just lock up when you leave please." I walked back to the bedroom and shut the door.

Lying on the bed, I started thinking. I know I was being a bitch, but it stung. I can't help it. It hurt to see her after everything she had said. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that I would pick her over my family. She means more to me than them. And I know that it's a lot to ask a person to forget their family, and I would never ask her to do that. I just wasn't expecting it. However, I resolved to give her the space she needed and come back to her when she wanted me.

I heard a knock on the door so I called out 'come in.' She walked through the door and paused when she saw me on the bed.

"I, uh, need my hairbrush," she stammered walking toward the bathroom.

"Sorry, I thought I had that packed."

"It's okay. Alex, I'm sorry. I..."

"Jen, please don't apologize. You need space. So I'm going to give it to you. I'd rather give you the space and have you back later, then not give you space and you never come back. I get it, and I'm sorry for how I acted. I should have just left you alone when you asked. So, take all the time you need. I'll wait for you." I stood up and walked over to her bringing her in for a hug. She quickly wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tightly. "You're worth it Jennifer. I'd wait years for you and wouldn't regret it one bit. So that's what I'll do."

"I want to apologize for my family, Charlotte, mostly. She had no right to be that mean to you, and she knows it. She won't admit it, but she knows." She pulled out of the hug and looked at me. "Alex, I saw the room. When did you...?"

"At the reception after the wedding. You were talking to people and I snuck away. I..." I trailed off. I couldn't say what I was thinking. It would hurt her. I wanted to say that I wanted to end the evening on a good note. What a bust that was, huh?

"It was beautiful. Thank you for doing that. And for the chocolates."

"You're welcome," I looked at my cell phone and it was close to 8. "Look, I hate to rush you out, but since I'm up I may as well go to breakfast with Avery and Rachel..."

"Oh, sure. No problem. I'll just go then. Um," she paused. I assume she had no idea what to say. "I'll see you around I guess." She leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing through the door, then out of the apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~

4 weeks. It's been 4 weeks and I haven't heard a single thing from Jennifer. I stay at school for most of the day and then come home for the evenings. That has been my routine for the past 4 weeks. Today, however, I changed things up and went to her apartment. It was Christmas Break and I wanted to make sure James got the Spiderman toy set that I found. Upon knocking on her door I waited a few seconds before, surprisingly, she opened the door.

"Alex! What are you doing here?" Instead of inviting me in, she exited the apartment, closing the door behind her. She wore a green dress, which swirled in the cold wind, with leggings.

"I bought a gift for James for Christmas. I thought he should have it, and seeing as how his parents don't exactly like me, I figured you could give it to him," I said handing over the gift.

"Yeah, sure, no problem," she stammered then stared at me. "Well, I've got someone over..."

Her apartment door opened and there stood Charlotte. Great! "Jenny, you're missing the movie and you know..." she paused when she saw me. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to drop off a Christmas gift for James. I'm leaving right now. Sorry to interrupt your movie," I apologized, quickly backing up. I didn't want to start anything with her. I didn't want Jen to hate me.

"Well, here," she took the gift out of Jen's hands and handed it back to me. "Take this. His parents don't want him having gifts from lesbians." She then proceeded to wipe her hands on her pants like the toy was diseased.

"Listen..." I started, but Jen stopped me.

"Alex, don't," she said stepping in between us.

"No, I'm done biting my tongue."

"Don't bite it, just shove it into some girl, since you like that sort of thing," Charlotte quipped. "Jenny, are you coming? I don't have all day. You wanted to watch this movie, so let's go. Lose her," she added, pointing in my direction.

"I think you should leave, Charlotte," Jen sighed.

"Excuse me," Charlotte gasped. "I should leave?"

"You're awful and you've made me miserable for the past four weeks. Everyone else has sort of come around to the idea of me being with Alex, but you, you haven't tried. Four weeks of my life have been miserable because she hasn't been in it. I'm not going to punish her or myself anymore just for you. Nick and Will were fine with me being with Alex weeks ago. Mom came around a few days ago. And then there's you. You make a snide comment about her any chance you get, and I'm sick of it. She is the woman that I love, and you won't speak ill of her in front of me anymore. You won't come around, I know that now. So I'll take 5 out 6 people being okay with my decision." She took my hands in hers and looked me in the eyes. "If she'll have me, I'd really like to be hers again. I can't imagine not being with you."

I hugged her to me as tightly as humanly possible. "Of course. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," she murmured, kissing my neck. Pulling out of the hug, she turned to Charlotte. "Char, you're my sister and I'll always love you, but get out of my apartment."

Charlotte huffed but left as Jen hugged me again.

"I know I ask this a lot, but can you forgive me? I shouldn't have done what I did. You are more important to me than..."

"No, I'm not more important than your family," I started, pulling her away from me to look her in her eyes. "And that's fine. Family should always be in your life. I'm glad you thought and cared enough to want to keep them in your life. You were right; I wish my family was still in my life. If I could change things so that I still had them, I would. So I don't blame you one bit. I'm sorry for how I acted towards your family. Can you forgive me?"

"As wonderful as you are, I'd forgive you for anything," she sighed.

I pulled her in close and we sealed it with a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~

6 MONTHS LATER

"I'm home," I heard Jen say as she placed her keys on the coffee table in our living room. Yes I said our living room. Jen moved in with me. "Alex, where are you?" It was right around then that I heard her gasp. She probably noticed the trail of rose petals leading to our bedroom. I tried to recreate my romantic night in Hawaii. I heard her move down the hall until the bedroom door finally opened. I was standing by the bed with two glasses of wine in my hands, wearing the purple dress from that night.

"What is all of this," she questioned, coming over to me. As she moved her red sundress flowed behind her. I love it when she wears dresses. It's completely sexy.

"I wanted to show my appreciation for you," I said kissing her on the lips and handing her one glass of wine.

"Well I definitely feel appreciated."

I laughed. "Let's take a bath." I had the whole night planned, so not waiting for a response, I walked to the bathroom and started running the water.