Jessie's Attractions

I didn't like it. I didn't stop either. Maddie was drinking like a pro and I desperately wanted her approval.

That was over a year ago.

I closed my eyes and stretched my legs out as a gentle breeze floated by. I finally felt at peace here, eyes closed, sun warming my face, the feeling of moisture in the air. Soon enough, warm rain drops began falling from the still light sky.

I heard the grass crinkle and a soft whoomph as somebody sat down next to me. Sitting up, I squinted through my rain splattered glasses to see who was by me. She reached up and removed them for me. Maddie was smiling, wearing cutoff jeans and a pink tank top. She was cleaning my glasses with the stretchy material. After a quick inspection, she put them back on my face.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hey yourself," I replied. I glanced down at her legs and noticed a bruise on her inner thigh. She pretended not to notice and poked me. She stood quickly and ran.

"Tag! You're it!"

I got up and chased her as the rain beat down on us. As I followed her around a tree, I managed to tag her on the back.

Scrambling on the slick surface, I turned and ran the opposite way but she was on my heels.

With a smirk, she jumped into the air and tackled me. We rolled around on the ground for a few minutes before I let her pin me. We locked eyes and smiled sheepishly. She straightened up, leaving my arms pinned to my sides with her legs. I tried not to stare but I noticed two small nubs on her chest poking through the tight, wet t-shirt.

She was about to say something but a loud beeping startled us both. She reached into her pocket and withdrew her cell phone, shielding it from the rain as she read the message. I could tell she was trying to hide her emotions but her eyes, which were once bright and happy, were now cold and hard.

"I have to go," she mumbled before getting off me. I nodded, sitting up. She gave me one of her weak smiles before walking towards Alec's house.

I stood and walked into my house. Thankfully, my mom was in the shower so I was able to go to my room without worrying about her bitching about my wet footprints.

I changed into dry clothes before laying down in bed. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't keep my mind off Maddie's body. I longed to see what was under her tank top, to feel her lips on mine, to make her feel good. My mind wandered with different scenarios of what could have happened had we not been interrupted as my hand moved down between my legs.

That night I had a dream that I was in school, sitting at a desk in the middle of the room surrounded by empty desks. There was a stern looking teacher hovering over me. Every now and then, she would hit me with a ruler.

"Don't you want to play with your friends? Well you can't! You freak! Finish your food and maybe you can go."

I tried eating my food but she kept hitting me. "No! That is not how proper ladies eat! You eat like a dyke. A dirty, dog dyke!"

I looked at the front of room and Maddie was standing in front of the chalk board, naked. Her face was twisted in disgusted. "Don't look at me you fucking lesbian! You are gross, a freak. I can't believe I was friends with you."

The teacher walked forward, backing her against the desk, and kissed her hard. One hand was between Maddie's legs and the other was on her breast. Maddie stared at me and licked her lips as the teacher kissed her neck. She smirked, face glowing with a sort of sick pleasure.

Gasping, I was gasping for air. I couldn't breathe. I felt claws digging into my chest as I quickly sat up. My cat let out are low growl before pouncing off her former bed. Turning over, I stared at my dark wall, not wanting to go back to sleep.

Shit, I thought, that was a fucked up dream. What could it mean?

The next afternoon, I received a call from Maddie inviting me to come hang out at Alec's. I told her I didn't feel up to it but she begged and I gave in.

As I made my way down the stairs, I could see the back of Maddie's head in the loveseat next to Alec's. I took my place in the armchair across from her. She was wearing a black tank top and a short red skirt with her legs crossed, hands in her lap.

Robbie and Ben weren't there yet but there was a lingering scent of pot. I slumped against the chair looked at them. Alec was staring at the phone in his lap eagerly, oblivious to me. He snatched it up when it finally buzzed. He read the message and bolted upstairs. Within a few minutes, a car pulled up and the door opened. Maddie hadn't noticed Alec's rush. Instead, she was staring at me.

"Hey," she said, slowly uncrossing her legs before re-crossing them. I managed to catch a glimpse of green lacey underwear and a familiar heat rushed between my legs.

"Hi," I responded.

"Alec smoked basically a whole bowl by himself and then tried to get me in bed. I'm fed up with him."

"Ok so do you want me to walk you home?"

She nodded and we both stood. I followed her upstairs and walked through the house towards the front door. As we passed the bathroom, I could hear the sound of sniffing but I thought nothing of it.

Time passed slowly. I walked down the road with my hands in my pockets, glancing at her every now and then. She stared ahead, biting her lip. When we reached her house, she sat down on the front porch. Her face was dark and unreadable in the fading light. I wasn't sure if I should stay or go when she finally spoke.

"Jessie...?" She said softly.

"Yes Maddie?" I moved a little to the side and watched the light from behind me play across her face. There were fresh tears on her face and more were coming.

I didn't know what to say or do.

Thankfully, she spoke first. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting next to her.

"My mom was giving me shit about my life today because I don't know what I want to go to college for. She says I have no direction and that it's all my deadbeat dad's fault. I wish I could have lived with him." She sighed. I remember when her parents got divorced two years ago. It was brutal with lots of accusations and name calling. Her mom had won custody. "She's so fucking bitter. I think she's jealous because she knows that I will never love her as much as my dad. So I went to Alec's cause he said he had some good shit but the dick smoked most of the bowl before I got there."

She looked at me and smiled, wiping her eyes. "Ugg, look at me. Unloading all of this on you."

"No it's ok. That's what friends are for, right?" I said, smiling.

She rested her head on my shoulder. "Right."

She was quiet for a moment. "I do know what I want to do. I want to be a veterinarian but if I told her that, she would make fun of me. She's never encouraged me. And then she wonders why I never tell her anything."

"I believe in you. You're so smart."

"Really?" She looked at me.

"Yeah. You are going to take advanced biology, aren't you?"

"Yeah," she said, her face brightening. "Thanks, Jessie. I'm so glad I have you as a friend."

I just smiled. Yep, just a friend and that's all I'll ever be.

"Well, I better get going," I said.

"Ok," she said, slightly disappointed. "Want to get together tomorrow? Just us?"

I stood and gave her a weak smile. "Sure. What time?"

"Wanna meet me here at like six?"

I nodded. "See ya then."

She stood and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back, trying not to get too close but she pulled our bodies together. "Thanks again, Jessie."

"You're welcome."

We released each other and smiled. She turned and walked inside and I checked out her ass.

Maddie was waiting for me on her front porch. She was biting her lip and looking down.

As I approached her, she looked up at me and I noticed that her dark hair was streaked with dark red. She jumped to her feet and grabbed my hand, pulling me fast down her driveway. She led me through a small cornfield towards an area where new houses were being built. Once we were back on the road, she slowed down and dropped my hand.

"Sorry about the rush. Kate dyed my hair this morning and my mom was not too thrilled. But I don't care, I like it." She smiled at me. "What do you think?"

"I like it." I thought she looked so sexy.

"Just like?"

I shrugged, not looking at her.

There was nobody living in this subdivision yet and all the builders had gone home. We were completely alone. Maddie took my hand again and led me into an unfinished house. We walked into the basement and Maddie turned on the temporary light. There was a card table pushed against the grey brick wall. There were two folding chairs at the either end of the table.

Maddie turned towards me and smiled wickedly. She pulled out a pack of Camel cigarettes. She removed one and placed it between her lips. The end was folded to hold in the contents.

She fished a lighter out of her pocket and lit the end, inhaling deeply. I sat in the other chair and she passed it to me before resting her head against the wall, smiling happily. She blew out the smoke and looked at me through half-lidded eyes, licking her lips. She looked so calm, so beautiful.

I brought the end to my lips and took a long drag. I held the smoke in as long as I could, blowing it out before I could give into the cough. "Oh you clever, clever girl!" Despite various efforts from me and Ben, we could not teach Maddie to roll a decent joint. Maddie, the smart cookie that she is, had taken all the tobacco out of a cigarette and replace it all with weed.

"I did two of them and it took me almost an hour," she said, taking the joint back.

We passed it back and forth until it burned down to the filter and the room was filled with smoke.

"You know something? We've never hung out like this before. I mean, we've like, hung out, but never got high, just the two of us. I like this."

"Yeah," was all I could manage. My mouth was amazingly dry. I tried to stand up, why I wasn't sure, but the floor tilted sending me back to the chair. "Shit, I overbalanced."

Maddie was watching me the entire time and she broke out into giggles. "Is that even a word?"

I thought about it for what felt like five minutes. "Dude, I have no idea. If it isn't, it should be."

Maddie continued to giggle and I followed suit. I felt so amazing, so peaceful.

We spent the rest of the evening keeping the basement smoky. I started to play music off my phone. When a Bob Marley song played over the tiny speakers, Maddie stood up and twirled around. I smiled watching her. She was so into it and looked so carefree.

She then took my hands and pulled me to my feet. "You are going to dance with me and I'm not taking no for an answer."

I tried to take my hands back but she held on. The next song that came on was by Phish and I was so baked that I just melted into the music. The two of us danced around like we were hippies at Woodstock. We finally collapsed onto the cold cement floor, out of breath and full of smiles.

"This is some good weed. I haven't felt this great in a long time." I looked over at Maddie. She was smiling but there was sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah me either actually." She locked eyes with me but a low buzzing quickly broke the connection. She pulled out her phone and read the message. "Fuck," she sighed. "It's already after nine. We should probably get going."

I nodded and stood up. The world was still a little hazy but I was definitely coming down. I grabbed my phone and followed Maddie out into the starry night.

"So pretty," she said walking with her eyes upwards.

I silently agreed, looking at her.

We were silent again for most of the walk. Maddie was looking down, biting her bottom lip again. She looked like she really wanted to say something but she held back. She kicked at the dirt as we walked up her driveway.

"Thanks for sharing your weed with me. Fun shit." I had hoped that maybe if I said something first, she would finally say what was on her mind. Nope.

"You're welcome. I'll see you later." She gave me a hug and a forced smile before heading through her front door.

Walking home, I pondered what Maddie wanted to say. My worst fears came true when I got home. I signed onto Facebook and the first thing I saw was Maddie de Forrest is in a relationship with Alec Masters.

The next night, I got a call from Dan inviting me over to his house for a bonfire. I didn't really want to but I wanted to talk to Maddie. When I arrived, they were all sitting around the fire in the back. I looked at Maddie sitting in Alec's lap. Her black hair was flowing over her shoulders only the vanish against her black tank top. She was so beautiful. "Hey, I talk to you for a sec?" I said as nonchalantly as I could.

"Sure," she said and stood from Alec's crotch. I led her around the side of Dan's house, rehearsing what I would say to her: Maddie, Alec is not good for you, he is a selfish, manipulative, slimy douchewacker. He is no good for you and you deserve better.

"Maddie," I started. As I drew her into the light from the house, I noticed a dark puff around her beautiful blue eye. The contrast was startling. "I..." My words faltered in my mouth. She turned her head away in shame. That fucker! How could he do that!

"What did he do?" I asked through clenched teeth. She avoided my glare and looked down, her hair hiding her face. Taking a deep breath, I lifted her chin carefully and saw fear in her eyes. My expression softened. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Honestly. It was a mistake. He made up for it." She avoided looking into my eyes.

"Maddie...." She waved her hand, silencing me.

"He loves me, Jessie. He apologized and told me he loves me."

"Anybody who touches you like that doesn't love you! He doesn't deserve a wonderful, smart girl like you. Please tell me you don't believe him. Don't fall for it because it will happen again. He's a creep, a drugged up asshole." I could feel the anger building up inside of me.

"You don't understand," Maddie said, shaking her head. "It was an accident. He promised he would never do it again and I believe him."

"Why? Why do you believe him? Why do you stay with him? He doesn't love you!"

"Yes he does! You just don't understand our relationship. Besides," she hesitated, "I love him too."

I stared at her in disbelief. "No.."

"He is always there for me. He makes me happy." She gave me a weak smile. "I love him."

I clenched my teeth again, trying to control myself. He wasn't always there for her. I was. He treated her like dirt. I was really in love with her. Lately he was so coked up that he didn't give a shit. "Well I guess if he's always there for you, then you don't need me anymore." I turned and started to walk away.

"Jessie! No, please don't go..." She grabbed my arm. I looked at her face, her beautiful, hurt face. Her eyes were flowing with tears and filled with hurt. Swallowing hard, I made the hardest decision of my life and shook off her hand before I continued walking away. I tried to remain calm but my whole body was shaking. The tears were streaming down my face only to disappear on the dark road or to soak my shirt.

(Author's Note: I might add more here bur for now, this will have to do)

I was walking down a dark, endless corridor. I could hear a girl screaming from behind me. I wanted to turn and find the girl but there was something dark behind me. I sped up and turned left. I could feel it getting closer as the screams got louder. Suddenly, I was falling.

I awoke with jolt, feeling as though I had just fallen into my bed. From my nightstand my phone was shrieking at me to answer my fucking phone bitch. I grabbed it and stared at the letters, waiting for them to make sense.

It was Maddie. It was also 12:34 in the morning. It buzzed in my hand telling me that I had one missed call. Then it started shrieking again.

I answered it. "Hey, what's up?"

"Jessie, I need you."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. We hadn't spoken in almost two weeks. "What?"

"Please, I need your help. Can you pick me up? Please I have nobody else and I'm scared."

"Yeah sure, where are you?"

"The first rest stop heading east on the freeway."

I sighed. That was almost an hour away. "Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks." We hung up.

Sighing, I got dressed and walked downstairs. My mother was in Michigan attending her uncle's funeral. My dad was in the middle of a real estate deal so he didn't go with. Since my dad is a very heavy sleeper, I didn't have to worry about making noise. Grabbing the keys off the rack, I headed to the car and drove towards the freeway.

I drove with the radio off, not really sure what was going on. There weren't many cars on the road and I sped most of the way there. It was almost two in the morning when I finally pulled into the rest stop. Maddie lifted her head as my headlights swept over her. She was sitting against the wall with her knees drawn to her chest. She stood and ran to my car.

"Go quickly in case he's on his way back," she said as she buckled her seat belt.

When her face hit the light I noticed a red handprint on her cheek. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the road. I got on the freeway and headed home. My hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight that I had lost feeling in them. I loosened my grip and stared ahead of me. We were silent for most of the trip. I finally broke the silence. "Maddie, what the fuck happened?" I asked.

She turned her head towards her window. "Alec woke me up at like eleven thirty and told me that I was going with him to a friends. I asked if we could go when it was light out." She sighed. "He went crazy. His eyes were bloodshot and he was freaking out. I couldn't understand a word he said. It was scary."

"And when did he hit you?" I tried not to sound angry but my words came out coldly.

"I told him that I should drive. He hasn't been sleeping well and he's been easily agitated. He said he was fine but I said that he wasn't and tried to take his keys. He.." Her voice quivered and she looked down at her hands. "He slapped me and said he didn't have time for my bullshit. I thought he loved me."

I wanted to say I told you so but she sounded so defeated that I didn't want to bring her down more.

"Could I stay at your house tonight?"

"Yeah. My mom's away and I'm sure my dad won't care."

Maddie was silent for a few moments before finally saying, "You were right Jessie, I should have listened to you. God I feel like such a fool." She was crying.

I didn't know what to say. I pulled into my driveway and just sat there staring at the windshield. I'm not very good at comforting.

"Oh my god!" Maddie grabbed my arm suddenly, her eyes wide. "All my stuff is Alec's. Purse, phone charger, house keys! Jessie, please come with me. I need my stuff and I don't feel safe going alone."

No, I really didn't want to. I looked her over. There were tears in her eyes and she looked so helpless in only Cookie Monster pajama bottoms and a baggy Metallica t-shirt.

Sighing, I started to get out of the car. "Yeah. Let's go quick."

She wiped her eyes and followed after me. We cut through some backyards and a small patch of woods. Thankfully the moon was bright and we could see our way through the trees.

"Do you know where his friend lived?" I asked, walking with my arms crossed to stay warm.

She shook her head. "He kept bitching about how far away he lived but didn't say where. If he didn't turn around, then we should be good."

"So how could he not have noticed you weren't there?"

She smiled softly at me. "I was laying across the backseat and I had a few pillows and a blanket so I made a body shape when he went into the bathroom and I hid."

"Smart. What about his mom?"

"Most of the time she swallows a healthy amount of pills and passes out."