Josh Groban: Forbidden Love Ch. 02

Alex woke up first and lay silent. She was disappointed in herself for having given in to her desires but ... she looked over at the handsome, sexy man who slept peacefully next to her ... she couldn't resist him. He had been a complete gentleman for almost a week proving to her that his love reached beyond the physicality and extended into the spiritual essence and after yesterday, having absolutely no inspiration to write she thought it may have been caused by the repression of her true feelings. In any case, he was too sexy to resist any longer and she refused to fight it. If he had lost his desire for her, if his love had faded during the time they were apart it would have killed her. She rolled onto her side and curled up closer to him. Without opening his eyes he slipped his arm around her and pulled her in. She sighed happily. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Go back to sleep." She whispered.

"I'm not awake." He whispered back and then smiled as she giggled. His eyes flickered open and he just lay staring at her. "Allie ..." he began and then stopped.

"What?" She asked sliding her fingers into the curls on the side of his head that had been flattened by the pillow. She tugged at each one freeing them from the bondage of his head. It wasn't long before they sprung out like they should have.

"I don't think I should mention it." He said softly, his eyes dampening. "I don't want to spoil the moment." She sighed and then kissed him lightly.

"Then don't. Let's just enjoy this." She snuggled against him and closed her eyes. They slept a little longer and then before heading out for breakfast they made love once more.

After breakfast they went to Josh's condo. He tossed his keys and his wallet down on the credenza by the door then pulled her into the living room with him. He sat her down on the couch and then sat across from her.

"What's going on?" She asked carefully. He leaned his elbows down on his knees and the rubbed his hands together.

"You promised me you would talk to me today about something." He said nervously. She felt slightly nauseated and swallowed hard. He could tell by the look that crossed her face she wasn't really keen on the idea. "Can we talk now?" He asked just in case she didn't want to. She nodded and swallowed again. He looked down at his hands and then back up at her. "About our lives." She took a deep breath. "I think, at this point I'm ready to say that I ..." he closed his eyes and prayed silently for strength. "I would be willing to divorce January if you would do the same. I think we should be together." He looked up at her and tried to decipher the look she was giving him. It was a faraway look and he hoped she was perhaps thinking about it. She looked down.

"I don't know, Josh, I don't think I'm ready for that." He sighed, dejected and then rubbed his whiskered chin with the tips of his fingers. "Don't think I don't love you ... because I do." He leaped off the couch and slid down in front of her on his knees.

"Then let's do it, let's get divorced so we can be together. I love you; you love me, what more do you need?" He took her hands into his and kissed each one. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill. "Allie ..." He sighed and lay his head down in her lap. She stroked his hair. "I want to be with you. We should be together."

"I can't do it right now." She said tearfully. "Darren would be crushed. I can't do that to him. I wish you could understand that." He lifted his head and stood pulling her up with him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him.

"I do understand baby, I do. And I'm sorry about the things I said before Darren left. I will try to curb my tongue. Just please don't cut me off from you again. I can't live without you." She looked up at him, her eyes damp.

"I won't. I couldn't." He bent to her mouth and kissed her lovingly.

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Alex did a search on the Internet and found the information she was looking for:

Fibroids, balls of muscular tissue that can grow inside the uterus or on the uterine wall, are one of the most common reproductive health problems for women. Although they are referred to as tumors, they are benign and never become cancerous. On the other hand, fibroids may cause a range of problems, including pain, abnormal bleeding or infertility.

She sighed. She had been diagnosed with fibroids just last year after suffering from painful cramping and unusual bleeding. Her doctor wanted to put her on hormones to treat them and gave her a prescription for birth control but she didn't have it filled right away and then eventually forgot she even had it. She worried when she met Darren and began having intercourse with him on a regular basis that she would get pregnant but in the six months they were together before they were married she was unsuccessful at getting pregnant and then three months into the marriage she was still barren ... until now. She got up from the computer went back to the bathroom, picked up the test stick and looked at it again. It hadn't changed since the last time she looked at it; the 'plus' sign still glared back at her. She sighed and made her way into the bedroom where she flopped backwards on the bed. She supposed it didn't help matters that she had constantly flooded her insides with sperm for the last three months. And most of it wasn't Darren's. She felt an overwhelming desire to cry and fought it. No, she was sure this wasn't his baby; considering the last time they made love was right before she menstruated the last time. She rolled over onto her belly and sobbed. How in the world could she tell him she was pregnant and not have him suspect that it wasn't his? He wasn't stupid by any means. And then there was Josh ... how would he feel? He was already pushing her to leave Darren. Did she even dare tell him the baby was his? These thoughts brought on another round of hysterics. It wasn't that she didn't want to have a baby, she did. She just wanted to have it when she was in one relationship not two. She heard her cell phone ringing downstairs and ignored it. Her body felt heavy and she was tired from crying.

"What the hell am I going to do?" She said out loud. Alex turned back over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling until her eyes went out of focus. Not too long after that she fell into a deep sleep. She woke sometime after dark and dragged herself off the bed to change and brush her teeth. She lumbered sleepily down the stairs and turned off lights and locked the door. Her cell phone chirped at her indicating she had messages. She went to it and flipped through her missed calls to see who'd phoned. Josh, Josh, Darren, Josh, Josh, Josh ... she closed the phone and made her way back up to her bed, got into it and closed her eyes. She wanted to call Josh to let him know she was okay but was afraid that he'd worry if she didn't sound chipper and come right over. She sighed, opened the phone and dialed his number.

"Where have you been?" He asked nervously.

"I've been here." She said. "I was upstairs and my phone was downstairs." He sighed.

"I was starting to worry sweetie."

"No, don't. There's no reason to." She draped her arm over her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm so tired I'm just going to go to bed." Alex heard him yawn.

"I'm tired too. I'll come over tomorrow morning and we'll go for breakfast, okay?" He said.

"Sure." She replied and then hung up.

Josh kissed her pouting lips and waited for her response. When there was none he pressed his mouth against hers more forcefully. She moaned and kissed.

"Wake up sleeping beauty." He whispered and stretched out next to her on the bed. Alex sat up quickly.

"Get out of this bed Josh!" She snapped. He sighed and crawled back out of the bed. Kneeling down next to the bed he pushed her hair off her forehead then kissed it. "I'm sorry." She said softly as she gazed into his large eyes. Josh shrugged.

"Its okay babe, I shouldn't have been in it. Just testing the waters I suppose." She played with his hair. "So what are you still doing in bed?" She sighed.

"I didn't sleep well last night I guess." He slid his arms underneath her and pulled her to the end of the bed where he could access her lips.

"Or you wanted me to find you here." He raised one eyebrow and then bent to her mouth. After moments of heating kissing he pulled her onto the floor next to the bed and began to make love to her. Alex pushed at him.

"No, baby, no ..." He stopped. "Not in this bedroom." She sighed. He stood wordlessly, pulled her up to her feet and led her into the next bedroom down the hall.

"How about this one?" He asked. She sighed and looked at him. "I'm not kidding!" Alex crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. She had laid awake a long time during the night wondering if and when she should tell Josh. She decided that she would, it was the when part she wasn't so clear on. She debated telling him now. Knowing how upset he would be she put that thought right out of her head. She didn't want him storming out in a rage. "Alex?" He said. She turned her head and looked at him. "I asked you a question." She blinked a few times.

"I can't remember what it was." She said absently. He sighed.

"Are you okay?" He asked tucking her champagne colored hair behind her ear. She nodded.

"Yes. I'm okay; just tired." He slipped his arms around her.

"How about I make love to you very gently and then you can fall asleep in my arms for a few hours?" He asked with a sly smile. She giggled. He tipped her head up and brushed his lips against hers lightly to start then more firmly as the kisses began to warm. He slid both hands underneath her bottom and pulled her up onto him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her to the bed. Laying her back gently he began to unbutton his shirt, his mouth never leaving hers. He pulled back and stood up long enough to undress then climbed into the small bed on top of her. "Now ..." he said as he pulled open the top of her pajamas and ran his tongue along her areola then sucked her nipple into his mouth; when he was done with the first he moved onto the second. Alex moaned her delight and encouraged, Josh made love to her, slowly, carefully just like he said he would and when they were finished he pulled her close to him and sang to her softly until he was sure she was asleep. He would have fallen asleep himself but his stomach kept growling indicating his hunger. It wasn't until a while later that he finally drifted off.