Journal Entry of a Single Mom

Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be on a diet. I know that I want to get my life straight before I got into the big world of dating again. I want to look my best, have my home straight, and have the kids in the correct frame of mind before I bring a new man into their life. But quite honestly, how am I supposed to do that when I feel like this several days in a row?

You might ask yourself, what is she talking about? Alright; here it is plain, simple, and direct... I'm horny and I'm lonely! You try spending five freaking years without male contact of any kind (with the exception of very few hugs from male family relatives).

So I'm sitting in front of the computer trying to harvest my crops and trees in Farmville, when I get a hankering for something. Not sure what so I get a banana from the kitchen, sit back in front of the computer and slowly, with big mouth filling bites, eat the banana. Then I'm working my zoo on Facebook and I get another hankering, something warm this time. So I make a quick egg sandwich. Mmm ... warm, salty; and I know it's weird but instead of biting my pieces with my teeth, I use my lips. Little while later I'm catching up on postings on the IFC club, and I notice I'm slowly rubbing my finger over my lips. Sensually my finger traces my lips over the top, around, and then across the bottom. Then I get that feeling again, a hunger. But not in my stomach but ... how can I describe it. It's like my tongue feels lazy and should be doing something, my arms feel cold and need something around them, and slowly that need between my legs begins to ache. So I go to the kitchen and stuff my face some more hoping that maybe eating will distract me away from what I'm really craving.

Then I go to bed and toss and turn thinking that I feel too hot. I take off my pajama pants, still too hot. I take off the top and try to get comfortable, half naked under the sheets; still not comfortable. My panties aren't tight, but for some reason the elastic around my waist and legs just don't feel right and I take that off too. So I toss and turn on the bed, and finally feel comfortable belly down with a pillow running length-wise down my body. I can feel the cotton fibers of the pillow rubbing up against my breasts. I feel the bed sheet as it moves up and down my back and buttocks as I adjust around the pillow.

A restless night followed by another day at work. I sit at the computer, my attention keeps getting distracted. Memories of men in my past that have kissed me and touched me the way my body is craving. I pop a CD in the computer drive, hoping to get my attention focused back on work. Minutes later as I wait for the printer to finish a task I notice that I'm absentmindedly caressing the tops of my breasts along the open square neck. A bit embarrassed I take a look around to make sure no one saw; somehow it looks like no one saw. Still about a half hour later the hunger returns, get up to the vending machine and get a cinnamon roll (sweet and gooey). About another thirty minutes later the hunger returns and it's still another hour before lunch. I pull a Tootsie Pop out of my drawer and suck on it; it's big, round, and my tongue loves wrapping itself around it.

Now I'm back home, put the kids to bed, and sitting in front of the computer while watching the television at the same time. We had dinner, yet I still went ahead and had as well a slice of leftover chocolate cake, left over pumpkin cake, cheese sandwich, and I'm half way through a glass of wine thankful that tomorrow is a holiday because I can't go to sleep. I don't want to go to my empty cold bed. How I crave a man that could kiss me the way my lips yearn to be kissed. Starting with a slow and sweet caress from lip to lip; then the kiss becomes more intense, hot and passionate. That will hold me with a sweet embrace, then pin me down against the bed as he explores all over my body. His member slowly slides into my sheath, rocking slowly in and out; then with increased rhythm until we are crying out in pleasure.

Yeah, I'm supposed to be on a diet. But is a single mom supposed to do in this day and age? Either meet up some strange man and have some wild sex, that probably won't be as good as if there was some actual intimacy? Or keep eating in the hopes to distract myself long enough to perhaps forget?

I don't have the answers to that yet, but perhaps someday...