Julie Shows Diane The Way....

Julie Shows Diane The Way To Happiness

(Originally I started writing this story at the request of a chat room friend of mine, she wanted a story that showed a loving husband. But one who had a hidden desire to watch his wife with other men. Not really totally hidden but a husband, who had his reasons for not just coming right out and telling his wife. She knows this is the way her husband is, what he doesn't know is that she's interested too, but she wants to fulfill her fantasy of multiple partners while she fulfills his fantasy of watching her with another man. Good, bad or indifferent, she was going to show her husband this story and tell him I wrote it for her.

You men thought you were the only ones with these kinds of fantasies, duh men we have fantasies to. The truth is I think we can be so much more imaginative with our fantasies then you can be.

She also requested that I put myself in her situation, loving husband, long term relationship, so on and so forth. I agreed to that. I used some bits and pieces from my real life. Twisted them around where I saw fit, added to others if I had to. The net result of that is of course they aren't real, but I could feel them that way. The fight, my man not going to that party with me, I could feel that because it happened. My feeling and wonderment about being with other men wasn't real, because I had been with other men before I was first married but I used my desire to be with one particular man while I was married and expanded upon it.

This story is going to include a man I really did love, if he hadn't asked me to marry him, who knows, we may still be together. Not so much that I was afraid of marriage, but I had already had two of those go bad. It was really that if I'd have said "Yes" I would have had to confess something I was not ready to tell any man at that time in my life, it had already caused my second husband to rejection me and one lover after him.

I needed a man whom I loved, and loved me. One whom, at least had some desire to see me with other men, but not an obsession. The last requirement rules out my third husband, he was obsessed, and jealousy ruled out husbands one and two. I've settled on a man I lived with for almost three years. During that relationship we allowed another couple into our love life and although at the time I never really thought about it, I realize now that he did watch me as I was being made love to. I'm sure, if he wouldn't have liked what he saw, he wouldn't have been looking. Yes I watched in return but I was never watching him, that's another story altogether, one which I wish was worthy of writing about, but at that time in my life I was hiding.

Of course no man completely fits the character I needed for this story, I needed one whom had, had some love making experience but not enough to be a really good lover, I needed an adequate lover. The about mentioned man was way past just good. So I used my first husband for that part of his character, a man I love dearly but he was at best an adequate lover. Not all his fault, although I had much more experience then he did, I was only a giver, I never expected to receive, I never demanded to receive. I did not know my own body, I did not know what a real orgasms was, the orgasms I did have were at best fair. Most of the time going without altogether. I can safely say that, at that time in my life I gave myself better orgasms then any man gave me. One thing I well credit my first husband for is he tried, most of the time he didn't rush things, lots of kissing, lots of touching and most of all lots of loving whispers. There is the emotional component to love making to, I never reached the state of ecstasy that I have since but most of the time my emotional needs were met. The opposite has happened many time since, if I have to chose only one, I think I'd pick being satisfied emotionally.

Then I further complicated the story by promising some of my other chat friends that I'd include two other things, one is something that I have done many time, something I find very stimulating to say the least. You'll have to figure what part that is by yourselves. The other involve a collar and leach, we were joking about putting them on men. I kind of liked the idea. The collar and leach, at least to me, implies a submissive man, I just love that idea. I said I'd use that in this story to. That involved a complete rewrite but I liked the twist that brings about in this story.

This story is just not what my friend wanted, so I've decided to start over again, this time it well be for her. No one but her and her husband well see it. But I do like this story so I'm posting it, kind of twisted and it doesn't fit together as well as I'd like, it's been rewritten, and added to, to many times. Most likely I've left lots of mistakes but I'm so busy right now I just don't have a lot of time to correct them, I'm sorry.)

Now all I need is a title! How about "Julie shows Diane the way to Happiness"

As I sat at my dressing table, I couldn't help but be furious with my husband, Jeremy. He'd known about this party for over a month. It wasn't fair of him to schedule his monthly poker party on the same night. Sure it was true Jeremy was uncomfortable among my coworkers, but that was no excuse for him not going with me. Jeremy wasn't wrong in not liking some of the men I worked with, they can be an arrogant bunch and yes some do throw it up to him that they are educated while he isn't. But part of that is Jeremy to, he is jealous of those who'd finished college, something he'd fail to accomplish, not because he wasn't capable either, it had been his choice to drop out . It surely didn't matter to me, the day he told me he was quitting college to become a carpenter was some what of a shock but if that was what he wanted then that is what I wanted for him. In the end it wasn't really what he wanted, so he'd worked hard and is now a superintend for a large construction company where we live. His jealousy about others having degrees is hard for me to understand, he's never seemed to feel inferior to me, I'd finished college along with my internship and was now a licensed Architect. For that matter if it wasn't for his encouragement and support I would never have made it though school.

Jeremy shouldn't have felt inferior to my coworkers, even if they were all going to be at this party, which they weren't, the truth is being a construction superintendent, Jeremy faces a lot more stress then either myself or any of my coworkers do. I'm always asking Jeremy's advice on how something should be built, and the advice he gives me makes me a better Architect. Better then anyone else in the firm, even if I do say so myself.

As far as the women who work with me, they all like Jeremy, most of the wives of my male coworkers do to. Jeremy is a wonderful husband. He is loving, and gentle while still manly enough to give direction to our life together. Unlike so many of my friends husbands, Jeremy really does pay attention to me. We spend hours talking and he never seems bored or preoccupied. He never fails to show me his affection, and he doesn't have to be horny to do so. We truly are best friends, it isn't just an act we have to put on for our friends.

Jeremy is handsome too, tall with a dark complexion, dark blue eyes, and jet black hair, maybe he's not a hunk but he is very attractive. Physically he's not bad either although he has developed a bit of a beer belly over the years and his behind has certainly spread. That does bother me some, partly because I don't think it's healthy, perhaps partly because I've lost some physical attraction for him but mostly because he's the first to let me know when I've put on a few pounds. That really isn't fair either, I do try to stay in shape, I work out as often as I can. I'm only a few pounds heavier then I was when we started dating back in high school. The truth is I'm pretty proud of my figure, men look, they don't just look they stare and I like that.

Jeremy is also an adequate love making partner. Not that I've had much experience with other partners, only one other man before Jeremy and he never lasted more then 30 seconds, as far as foreplay that boy felt getting my cloths off was enough foreplay. Jeremy and I fell in love while we were still in high school, I may not have had much experience but I did think Jeremy was a good lover. So he wasn't after all that good but it's perception that counts isn't it.

I'm sure that if we could have had children Jeremy would be a wonderful father to. He may well get his chance, we've been talking about adopting, something Jeremy hasn't quite accepted yet. We tried for a long time to have children, finally having test done. When we found out I was infertile, Jeremy had a very hard time accepting that he'd never have a child of his own. I really resented that, it was nearly impossible for me to cope with being infertile, I felt so incomplete, my whole being had been focused around wanting children. Family first, career second, my idea of happiness was husband, children, and the little house in the country with the while picket fence.

Then when Jeremy acted liked I'd betrayed him or something because I couldn't have his babies I was devastated. He focused on his hurt, his wants, his needs and I think my supposed betrayal. The one time in my life I desperately needed to be reassured about who I was, about my very femininity, Jeremy failed me. If I had been in any kind of metal state to have done so, I would have left him. Just the opposite happened Jeremy started to act like he wanted to leave me. In my despair and desperation I attempted suicide, thankfully I failed in the attempt. Perhaps Jeremy realized he couldn't live without me, but whatever his reasons he did start to help me recover.

Admittedly Jeremy and I haven't been as close as we once were. I suppose it's more me then Jeremy, I don't seem to be able to get completely over my resentment. It's hard to put exactly how I feel into words, some how I just don't feel completed by Jeremy any longer, something is lacking.

I'm sure partly do to my resentment and that lack of oneness the I once shared with Jeremy, I started to think about taking on a lover. To be honest, I'd been curious about what it would be like with another man ever since I'd first known Jeremy, well at least since the first time he made love to me. Before Jeremy my previous boyfriend had jaded my outlook on sex, my attitude being, is this all there is. Did my attitude ever change with my first real orgasm, one not self given anyway. Perhaps if I hadn't had that good little catholic school girl upbringing, I would have taken on other lovers before we became husband and wife. Nothing I can do about that now.

It also seems to me that the spark had and still has gone out of our marriage, at least so far as our sex life. I'm sure that's normal in most marriages. As far as the general state of our marriage, most everything is better then it was at the time of my suicide attempt. God forbid, I have no desire to be with another man in a relationship, I'd just shrivel up and die if I didn't have Jeremy. Even with all our problems and my feelings of being incomplete, I still know Jeremy is the man I want to grow old with.

Maybe it was just the seven year itch, it just started a little early and it's lasted past the seven year mark. But unquestionably my curiosity about being with another man has gradually increased over time, at first it would just be a fleeting thought. Building now to the point that when I see a really attractive man, I think about what it would be like, kissing him, holding him, touching his naked flesh and him touching mine. Would it be the same as it is with Jeremy, would he feel the same inside of me. What would it be like to have him in my mouth, would he taste the same as Jeremy. What would it feel like to have his tongue pleasuring me, would I finally get to have an orgasm from oral. Would I have orgasms during intercourse not just the little ones I now had but those really big full bodied kind that Jeremy could give me when we used my vibrators. I just hate to even admit this but Jeremy does not do a lot for me orally, he tries hard, and I have had tended to think it was more me, then Jeremy but I wasn't sure, everything I heard told me oral sex should have been wonderful.

I am even attracted to some of our male friends, where before I used to think of those same men as attractive, now I feel a sexual attraction for some of them. This is horrible to admit but I don't think I could trust myself alone with Jeremy's two best friends, Robert and Brad, both of them are Greek gods. I know I can't trust myself with Robert, this spring I almost cheated with him. Ok I did cheat but it's almost unfair to call it cheating, it just didn't have the ending cheating should have.

Don't get me wrong, making love to Jeremy is always good, I won't say it's lacking in anything. Admittedly I don't get much out of Jeremy giving me oral. Up until Robert, I assumed that was just me. It would be wrong of me to completely fault Jeremy for his lack of skill in oral sex, I didn't think it could be so extraordinary. When we were first dating I was so uncomfortable with Jeremy's attempt, I was worried about how I smelled, how my vulva looked, I even had a hang up about it being sinful. I just couldn't get into it, I'm sure that was disheartening to Jeremy. Later when I became more comfortable with my body, my beliefs and I wanted to experience what I'd read and heard my girl friends say about the massive orgasms oral could produce, Jeremy just never tried very hard. Maybe in a way my hang ups had become his.

The truth is I'm not really talking about making love, that 's what Jeremy and I do and it's good very good, I do feel loved when we have sex. But you have to be in love to make love, my desires are lustful not loving. But then again there should be some of that lust involved with making love too. The only times it seems to have that same old lustful spark are the nights we go out and I do a little bit of flashing. Nothing real open, low cut dress without a bra, or a really short dress with no panties on. But I have to admit it turns me on when I give some attractive guy a little show.

It isn't just me that gets turned on, Jeremy does to, and he's always encouraging me to wear something sexy when we go clubbing or to a party. At times I think Jeremy wants me to go beyond just the flashing, and I have on a few occasion. For over a year now when we play this game we go in separate, not as a couple, that way I get a lot more offers to dance, and as a bonus we save some money, I rarely have to buy a drink. Jeremy likes it that way, I do also but I've never come right out and told him so. I've kissed other guys and let them feel me while dancing, but when I try to talk to Jeremy about this, he denies that he wants me going further. He even denies that any of it turns him on, he says he only allows it because it turns me on. Maybe he really doesn't want me to go any further but he is lying when he says my flashing and my playful behavior with other men doesn't turn him on, I know it does. Jeremy has never been real open to me about his desires, but he's hinted enough times, I can't but help believe that if nothing else the thought of me being with other men turns him on.

Jeremy's also been reading stories on the internet about wives who play around, you all know the kind of story I'm talking about, those where the husband gets off on watching his wife have sex with other men. I'm really at fault for Jeremy reading these stories, I showed him the site, a friend of mine writes there. Maybe Jeremy is just curious, he does read other stories too. I'd like to bring it up but then he'd know I've been snooping. Jeremy is of the impression that I don't know to much about computers, which I guess I really don't, but I know enough, I work with them everyday. I know enough about internet explorer to track Jeremy's surfing by using the history file, I also know how to hide mine by deleting some of the sites I visit from the history.

The story sites aren't the only sites Jeremy goes to, most of them news, sports, financial advice, and others similar to that but he also goes to a number of porn site, a couple he pays for with a credit card I'm not suppose to know about. I was somewhat offended by that, I'm as pretty as most of the women at those site, and my body is at better then most of those women. I almost hate to admit this, I found I liked to look to. I've always looked at other women, and I always go though Jeremy's playboy magazine, I just never admitted to myself that I was looking for any other reason then to compare. Looking at those women, following links to lesbian sites made me realize I'd always been curious about sex with another woman. Perhaps past curious to desirous.

If that had been my only interest I don't think that would be a problem for Jeremy, he's talked about two women making love before. He even shared his fantasy about a threesome with my roommate and myself, back when I was a freshmen in college. That wasn't going to happen, it made me jealous, and very angry. Maybe it shouldn't have, it was just about sex, but it did and Jeremy has never again brought up the idea of a threesome with another woman. Somehow I knew that if I did suggest it, he'd jump at the chance. I also have a pretty good idea that if I told him I wanted to make love to another woman without him involved, he'd agree. I'm sure my having sex with another woman would turn Jeremy on.

If that was all that I was interested in, it would have been ok, but I also was intrigued by the pictures of women being with more then one man. I can't say the pictures themselves turned me on but the thought of being with more then one man did and still does. In a way I was ashamed of myself, how could I even think of such a thing, gang bangs are what really slutty women do, not respectable happily married women. My logical mind says that isn't so, I don't really believe a woman has to be a slut to have that experience, but it is hard at times to over come all the moralizing you get growing up. Really not just growing up, women are judged all the time for actions that a man can do without anyone thinking the lesser of him. I was even more ashamed of myself when I'd have these fantasies in which Jeremy would approve of my desire, then set up a night of lust filled sex with some of his friends of course always including Robert and Brad.

This isn't even the worse part, one day I visited a dom/sub site that my friend Julie told me to go to. Not the first such site I'd happened upon but this was all about female domination. The picture were amazing, men being lead around wearing studded collars with leases attached to them, dressed in leather vest, and leather briefs with the crotches cut out of them. Some not even dressed at all. Some of the mistresses riding their men just like they were horses, using riding crops to control them. They even talked about having races with the losing stud being punished. Some pictures of men chained to walls while their mistress and her friends tormented them, nothing serious never really doing any harm. Pictures of men who'd been secured to chairs with leather bindings while their mistress tormented them by being pleasured by, or pleasuring other partners, both male and female. The whole jest of the site was female domination with some mild punishment when her man did not behave as she wanted. Nothing horrible painful but I do admit some of the punishments were sever if not painful. Lots of stuff devoted to information on how to turn your man into a submissive.

I was so ashamed that I wanted to be just like these women and I wanted Jeremy to be my submissive. All of the pictures were of a sexual nature but it was so much more then that, these woman were the dominate force in their marriages and relationship. The men served them, not the other way around as is so often the case. At least it is in my marriage, it's suppose to be equal, we even give that lip service but it's not. I work at least as many hours as Jeremy does but I still bear most of the burden for the mundane parts of married life, cleaning, cooking, shopping, paying the bills, planning for family affairs both his and mine. Just about everything accept taking out the garbage and mowing the lawn, both of which I do more often the not as I get tired of nagging Jeremy to get them done. It more the just that, take the predicament I'm in now, if I refused to attend one of Jeremy's parties, the shit would hit the fan, well that has happened but I'd be expected to give in women are just expected to be submissive.