tagErotic CouplingsJust a Blowjob

Just a Blowjob

byAndreand©

My name is Andrea. I will dispense with any long, physical descriptions of myself except to say that I am late thirties, 5'8" tall, of average build with shorter brown hair and that I was always quite a tomboy. You see, I am a lesbian, or at least I still believe I am. Although some may label me bisexual, in light of recent events, until the following account I had only been with women. I have never really thought that much about receiving any attention from a man. For me there is nothing to offer that I couldn't get from a woman, and I must say that I truly love women. Tender, emotional attachments were something that I could only associate with females; it just seems strange, as an example, for me to kiss a guy. Although I have always had a very hyperactive sense of adventure when it came to sex, and an appetite for the forbidden, I always felt, and still feel, completely at ease and secure in my sexuality. This is because I can never remember feeling desire for experiencing anything but women, except for one man and one act.

Eric had always been one of my best friends. We had all but grown up together, and from the time I was quite young I would always spend time over at his house with him and his sister Kathy. She was like my sister and Eric was kind of like a big brother to me. Our close friendship always seemed quite natural and we thought so much alike that he made me wish I were one of the guys.

Perhaps it was just a matter of trust that if was to ever share my secret curiosity with another; it could only have been him. Perhaps it evolved from so much open and carefree talk, with common views, that made me fixate on the thoughts that seemed to be against my very nature. You see, for some time I had wondered what it would be like to give Eric a blowjob. I don't know why this idea interested me, but I think I may know when it started.

It seems so long ago, when I was only 18 or 19, that I remember being over to Eric's house helping his sister Kathy pack for college, when she went down to eat supper. I was invited also, but had already ate and decided to keep working. I had stopped at Eric's door earlier to chat a bit and noticed him reading one of the erotic books he kept in his room. I had asked him what it was and he offered it to me to read, I just shook my head and walked away. He was down eating as well, and as I passed his doorway, I noticed that book on his bed. Curiosity pulled me into his room. That wasn't too big a deal since I often came there to visit Eric as much as Kathy.

I picked up the book and began to leaf through it. I took notice of the favored pages that books tend to more easily open to, due to extra time being spent upon them. This gave a hint as to what Eric had been looking at the most. I was naturally curious in knowing what turned guys on and how it might compare. The spine was well creased on one spot in particular, which I began to read. It was about a man receiving a particularly detailed and involved blowjob. Even though I thought this would be the one thing that would interest me the least, I found myself reading more and more.

So this is what turned Eric on? I had accidentally seen Eric naked a couple of times, while walking around their house, but I had never really thought about what I had seen. I then began to visualize his cock in the account I was reading. It was strange, there was not, and never had been, any physical attraction to him, but I began fixate on his shaft as the powerful sexual symbol that was being utilized in this story. I started to think about what it may be like to perform the act I was reading of. At first I was torn between revulsion and the powerful erotic nature of it. Despite my preferences, fellatio had to be one of the most intense of all sexual pleasures, for both parties. Perhaps it could even be more intense, in a pure sexual way, than the more tender act of orally pleasing a woman. I found that sexual power overcoming me, and my hand moved down my front to between my legs as I began rub the denim that was noticeably warmer.

The animal lust described on those pages had me oblivious to my surroundings when the door flew back and Eric said, "Aha! I caught you!" I was like a deer in headlights as I immediately tossed down the book. To cover my embarrassment asked if he enjoyed reading that smut!

"From the looks of it, not as much as you do!" he quickly shot back.

"Some of it is interesting enough to get to you," I grudgingly acknowledged. " I know, but probably the same things get to you that would get to me though," he picked. Although I had not declared my preference yet, Eric always seemed to know from the beginning. I let him think this was the case, and that I was imagining having the women in the book, but the fact was, and I didn't know why, I had wanted to do exactly what I had read to him!

The seed was planted, and over the years it slowly grew in the back of my mind. I found it very curious that it was such an isolated single desire, and it never caused me to doubt who I was. It also never caused me to doubt my friendship with Eric. You see, it was because of, rather than in spite of, the fact that he was the last male I could ever imagine kissing or projecting onto any of the things that I reserve for women. I was not attracted to Eric in any way, but was, instead, attracted to trying something completely different. In simpler terms, I was not attracted to him, but I was attracted to his cock. I assumed he knew nothing of my secret thoughts, and I didn't know how I could ever tell him about them. I always had to be careful not to let my eyes give me away when he was wearing a loose pair of shorts and I could see glimpses of pink skin through the openings. It just fed my curiosity all the more and had me stealing looks when I could.

For 20 years that seed grew while sex became fairly routine and the new thrills faded, I became more determined to find more excitement. My desire to explore this unknown ground came to the surface when I learned that Eric had a very good job offer with a company in Texas and was going to be moving away. It was a bit of a shock to me, and I knew I would have to adjust to a big change. He had been perhaps my best friend for as long as I could remember, and now he was moving away. For the first time in our lives we wouldn't be just a few minutes drive from each other.

Four days before he was to leave I stopped in to help him box things up, but mainly just to spend together some of the short time left. We had been moving things around and packing most of the evening when we decided to take a break. Eric reclined back onto the couch and I collapsed into the chair opposite him. We discussed many things and some about his trip. He was concerned about his new job and starting over in a strange place.

He talked, but I only heard some of what he said since my mind was filled with the intense struggle of whether I should ask him or not. I must have gone to the brink about five times or so, only to back down and continue with other conversation. Each time I felt a strange relief that I had not taken the chance, only to be followed by desperation at the thought of the one opportunity to finally satisfy this awful curiosity slipping away. Finally something inside me said that I had to try regardless, or the wasted opportunity would forever torment me. This time when I spoke the words actually came forth. "Since you will be leaving for good there is one thing I would like to bring up," I had spoke and now I was committed. The world took on a strange surreal quality and everything seemed to go in slow motion as it sunk in that I was going to do this after all.

He looked at me to let me know I had his undivided attention. I started as tactfully as I could, " Do you remember back when you were dating that girl named Danielle?" He continued to look at me, waiting for me to finish. "I keep thinking about the night you asked me if I would like to have sex with her."

"Uh huh," he acknowledged, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I pressed forward, "I know that she left before anything became of it, but I keep thinking of how hard that must have been to ask me that out of the blue. You had to have been worried that I would have reacted negatively and called you a pervert or something. I mean it must have took some nerve to ask, didn't it?"

"It was pretty hard to do," he answered. " You have no idea how long it took me to work up the guts to ask you that!"

" That is what I figured. So if you could trust me enough to ask me that, then I thought that I could take a chance and ask you something that until now I hadn't dared to ask," I then paused.

I took long enough that he was prompted to ask, "Yeah what is it?"

"I'm curious to know what it is like to suck a dick," I blurted out.

He had a completely blank look on his face that indicated complete bewilderment. There was no expression, because he had no face to present for such a disclosure. It was quite awkward and scary as hell.

"I've got you scared now!" I joked to break the tension that could have broken me.

"No," he answered plainly.

"It is just something that I thought about trying and you are the only guy I trust enough to ask if you would mind being the receiver of a no-strings-attached blowjob." There was a long pause as what I asked sank in and he tried to collect his thoughts. "I'd have to think about it," he answered. "That is something that I never really thought about, so I can't just say yes, or no, without thinking it over."

"O.K.," I agreed, but due to the tension I really had wished he would have said, "sure let's give it a try. Hell a blowjob's a blowjob!" right then and there and we could have gave it a shot without any extended nerve wracking over-analyzing or second-guessing.

Then I added, "But before you make any assumptions about me, consider this; I am the same person I was yesterday as I am now. And the fact that I trust you enough to ask this says something about our friendship. Now that I have asked, I may never bring it up again." I then took a deep breath and tried to relax. "Whew! Asking you that may have very well been the hardest thing that I have ever done. Much harder than approaching a woman."

We then changed the subject and chatted for another hour or so until it was time that I needed to be going. He saw me to the door, and I voiced my concerns about what I had said. He reassured me that it hadn't changed a thing between us and that it was no big deal. I lightened the conversation by firmly telling him that this didn't mean that I thought he was cute and that I didn't want to marry him after all. We had a bit of a laugh and said good night.

The night before he was to leave I stopped in again. Most everything was packed away and he was set to go, so we just had time on our hands to sit around and talk. He had not so much as mentioned anything about our previous conversation so I thought with all this idle time on our hands it would be a good time for him to get back with me about it. There were many times there was a pause in the conversation, and I was sure he might be looking for a way to broach the subject, but he never did. I was going crazy. I didn't dare push too hard since even though he was moving away, he was still the best friend I ever had. How could I risk harming that? So I thought it would be best to let him give me his answer on his own. I couldn't imagine that anything would be too awkward for him to speak his mind with me about it, and I just couldn't bring myself to ask him a second time.

Finally he stretched and said it was getting really late and he needed to be on the road early in the morning so we would have to call it a night. I tried to hide my disappointment and made my way to the door. I must have stopped a dozen times at the door and continued on with more small talk. Eventually I was out the door, and it was over.

I slowly walked down the stairs of his apartment building and into the warm fresh air of the parking lot. I was in my car and ready to turn the key when I saw the light come on in the 3rd floor window that I knew to be his bedroom. I hesitated and debated again as to whether I should push my luck. His light stayed on. There he was, the night before he was leaving for good, reclined and comfortable, stripped down in the privacy of his room. The circumstances were all set, yet my one opportunity was about to slip away for good.

"No it wasn't," I said to myself as I pushed the car door open again and marched back into the building. I was to the point of not caring when I reached his door. I then realized that I had not locked his door when I had left. I pushed it open slightly and poked my head in. I could see his light still on at the end of the hall.

"Hello," I said.

"Yeah!" I heard him answer from his room.

I quickly entered and moved down the hall. To keep him from jumping up and trying to see who it was I said, "It's me again."

"Oh," I heard him say as I reached the doorway and saw him relax back on the mattress again. I braced my hands on the doorway and leaned slightly into the room. "Umm... Have you thought about what I asked you?" I cautiously asked.

There was a slight pause, as he grew serious. "Yeah, I have," he answered. It was just a split second before he continued, but it seemed like an eternity. "And I'm going to have to decline."

My heart sank, and at the same time, was relieved of a terrible burden.

"Oh! O.K.!" I nonchalantly answered so quickly that it was almost apologetic.

"But not for the reasons that you might think," he added.

"Oh? I think I know what you mean..." I began to think out loud as I quickly reflected to my concerns of our friendship.

"The problem is, " he interrupted, " I don't think I could get it up".

"Oh right," I quickly agreed as my train of thought fell in line with his.

Then he explained, "I guess if there was another woman involved initially and I was put in the mood first, before you tried. But getting started with just you? You're like my sister, or one of the guys! Making out with either would be...well ...BLECH!"

"That's understandable," I assured him. "To be honest with you, I don't think I could get into anything other that what I asked. But then I am not interested in that, only in the giving part. That is one of the reasons I am still secure in my sexuality, anything that I can get from a woman, I will get from a woman and it doesn't interest me as far as a guy goes. Yes, I do entirely agree about kissing a guy. BLECH!"

"Hell, I often have a hard time really enjoying a good blowjob, not being entirely convinced that other women want to do it, much as less, you!" he added.

"Yeah, I guess I kind of wanted to know what the big deal was myself. The way I have heard some women go on." I thought for a second then finished, "O.K. I didn't want to bring it up again but I didn't know if you wanted to say something about it but just found it too awkward."

"To be honest, I thought about it for a day or two and then just sort of put it out of my mind. I wasn't really shocked by it. I just figured that things must have gotten a little boring for you. I didn't say anything to you, because you had said that you may never mention it again and I thought that you wanted to avoid it. " Then he aimed his words even more directly at me "And it didn't change a thing."

"Thanks. And if you ever change your mind, promise that you will just let me know," I had to add.

I had my answer. But looking back on it, I was too quick to run with that answer to lighten the atmosphere in any way possible. Was this the final test? This had to have been the best opportunity I was ever going to have and it still had not happened. I would just have to live with the thoughts of it and my imagination.

It still took me some time to leave that night. We both acknowledged that it felt like if we finally said good night we were closing a chapter in our lives and a doorway to all those times from childhood to the present. I finally did say good night and returned to my simple lesbian life, but with a single unexplored desire.

But my curiosity did not lessen at all. I found myself analyzing our last conversation on the topic and seeing what I wanted to see in it. He had not been negative about it. The comment about having a girl to get him turned on first seemed to leave the door open. I began to kick myself real hard for not trying Danielle when he asked. All he said was that he didn't think he could get it up. Perhaps we could try it and see. But there would have to be an urge for me to satisfy for there to be the sexual power I had imagined.

I had completely misread my friend that I thought I knew so well. I had always thought of him as enough of a hedonist to let a willing party please him if they really wanted to. Having come that close and sharing my deepest secrets with him had just intensified the excitement. With all my thinking about it, my imagination relived that last night again and again, but this time he had been the hedonist I expected and said "What the hell. We can give it a try." I even tried to imagine if I could ever consider another dick to try, but I realized nothing like that interested me at all. Eric was really my only option for ever satisfying this desire. I was bothered by how I had led him to believe that I was just curious about sucking a dick, like it could be any dick. I felt secure in my sexuality, because Eric's was the only dick I ever wanted to suck. All I wanted was to check this out with the only person that I would ever feel comfortable experimenting with.

I also wished I had made it more clear that this was absolutely all I wanted. After his comments about making out, he needed to know that I was not interested in touching him anywhere else or being touched myself. Anything that I could get from a woman, I really preferred to get from a woman. To give him a free blowjob is all that I wanted. But now my chances had passed and I didn't know how to ever bring it up again.

Eric and I kept in touch as much as we could and he did real well at the new job. I got fairly domesticated after I settled down with a girl named Cindy, the one woman that would put up with my quirks. Eric eventually met a girl and got engaged. He brought Amber back home a few times and she seemed nice enough that I determined that my chances to ever satisfy my secret desire where pretty much dead. In fact it felt strange to know that I was the one woman Eric could spend time with and not bother Amber at all, and there were jokes about me being the best man at the wedding. Cindy just thought it was funny that I would want to hang out with him.

This situation caused and interesting thing to occur to me. Both of us were beyond our wilder exploration days. The younger days of shopping for new partners and experiences had given way to our settled down life of committed relationships. Even if we could find younger people out there that could be interested in us, the risks of getting caught cheating on our other halves outweighed most of the temptations. But my blowjob would be safe; nobody would ever suspect or even imagine him getting such satisfaction from me. It would be very safe to say that we could trust each other and nobody would ever know. It was not just strings-free. It was completely risk-free!

One evening when I was alone for the weekend and they had came back to work on wedding plans, Eric stopped in for a visit. The place that I rented had a semi-enclosed porch on the back where I had moved an old gaudy lime green sofa that had seen its better days since it dated back to our younger years. It was great for our old partying and was large enough to accommodate anybody. I should have just thrown it out, but I thought would be the best place for a guest to crash at my undersized place. Eric always got a kick out of seeing that old sofa again.

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