Just a Crush Ch. 05

Thank you everyone for patiently waiting. I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter. This chapter left me stuck more than several times but I'm happy with the way I have chosen for it to go and I hope you do as well. Again your words of encouragement helped me push through so this chapter is for you. Enjoy, constructive criticism is welcomed.

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It seems I didn't have to tell Travis after all, here he was looking directly at me and Evan's non to subtle reaction to try and quickly get away from each other. But as soon as Evan realized it was Travis who caught us in the act, he reached for my arm once again urging me to stand closer. My eyes stayed glue to Travis's trying to gauge his reaction all the while letting Evan hold my arm but not budging from keeping my distance from him. Travis had already seen enough. I felt like being wrapped up in Evan's embrace right now would be more like throwing it in Travis's face rather than proving a point as Evan so obviously wanted. Before I could speak, Travis's back was all I could see.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath before I tried to go after him.

Me being lurched backwards was my only reminder that Evan's grasp was still firmly around my arm.

"Let go Evan I have to talk to him." I said angrily while trying to take his hand away from my arm. From the way he was gripping it I was sure it would leave a red mark.

"He knows, there's no use in having to tell him everything now." He said briskly as if what he said meant that everything was taken care of. Which it clearly wasn't.

He removed his hand but by the way he was staring at me led me to believe that if I were to try to leave after Travis again he would see to it that it didn't happen.

"That isn't fair and you know it. I'm sure he wasn't totally clueless that I was a little bit less than reserved towards him. But if he wants answers he at least deserves that for what I have put him through." My voice held conviction trying to get him to understand the truth in what I had just said.

"If he wanted answers he would of stayed." His jaw was clenched, which I now started to recognize as uncertainty for Evan.

Not uncertainty for how he felt, but for the unknowing cause of my actions. Realizing this I had to assure him that I had no doubts about him and I. I just needed to make right by my confused thoughts the past month that not only effected us, but effected Travis as well.

My tone lightened and I stroked Evans smooth chin to where it clenched only to feel it become relaxed under my touch. I Realized that I preferred a slightly scruffy Evan that I experienced our night together rather than a clean shaven one that I know only cleaned up for the special occasion.

I left my hand on his cheek willing him to look at me as I calmly asked, "Now how could he have stayed at the sight we just gave him? I'm your's Evan, but he didn't deserve that."

At the last of my words his body visibly relaxed and he leaned his head into my hand. He grabbed my wrist and brought my palm to his perfect lips, gently placing a tender kiss before letting me go. A simple gesture like that had my heart swooning even more and I couldn't help but think of all the places those lips have been on my body. My body instantly heated at the thought and I knew I had to go now or I would want to familiarize myself with those lips again, there was time for that later, and right now I needed to talk to Travis before he left.

Slowly nodding his head he quietly spoke, "Now go before I change my mind and haul you out of here over my shoulder and home." He gave me a forced grin and I knew he was only letting me go to Travis because I asked, not because he knew it needed to be done.

I smiled back at him amazed at how the past hour had changed everything that I had previously felt within the past month. Evan and I were going to be together and my heart boomed at just the thought. I bent down and quickly removed my heels. Standing back up on tip toes with both heels clasped in one hand I wrapped my arms around Evans neck. I nuzzled my nose in the warmth of his neck, relishing in the faint smell of his cologne and something that could only be described as all Evan before I brought my mouth to his ear and nipped at his lobe. Satisfied when I felt him shiver, I whispered in his ear "Thank you" before I quickly entangled myself from him. I handed him my shoes putting more than an arms reach distance between us in a few quick strides backwards. The look he shot me was one as if I had been playing with fire and it left me breathless and excited. I giggled and started making my way towards the direction I saw Travis leave. Still walking backwards my playful gaze was happy to see him waving me on with the hand that now held my shoes before I turned and made my way through the crowd. I paid no attention to the quizzical expressions on all the guests faces as I made my way quickly through them like a maze, bare foot, and practically running. I knew if I had those shoes on I wouldn't make it to the exit in time to catch Travis. Proving that I was right my eyes caught sight of him just as he entered the room where our coats had been placed. I entered shortly after Travis slowly trying to catch my breath and saw him stiffen immediately. He knew it was me without even looking.

"I'm so sorry Travis." I managed to whisper out.

"I don't even want to hear it. You don't have to explain anything to me." He snapped, his back remained facing me and he raked both his hands frustratingly through his hair before he went right back to angrily looking through the rack for his coat.

"Yes I do, I never meant to hurt you." My voice was pleading to him hoping he would at least turn around by my voice and look at me. But at the same time hoping he wouldn't, afraid of the look he would shoot at me.

He turned around and his expression was flat but his body language spoke volumes of what he was really holding back.

"But you did." His voice remained surprisingly calm only furthering my guilt for what I had done to him. Even when he was angry, I being the one to cause his anger, he was still trying to preserve his own feelings for mine.

"I know and I wish I didn't. But I can't help how I feel about Evan. I really wanted to like you and I tried. But I just couldn't get over him and I'm not quite sure if I ever really wanted to." I knew my words would hurt but I had to be honest not only to him but myself.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I knew there was something missing, that you never looked at me the way I looked at you. But I convinced myself to think nothing of it because I wanted you so bad. But when we came here tonight and I saw you look at him. Your eyes.....Your eyes met his in the way I had only dreamed it would be, but for me not him. I saw him follow you and I knew what I would see. I just had to see with my own eyes to make sure." His voice remained confident but I could tell he was fighting to maintain control. His eyes held the same hurt I had seen in them before when I ignored him after our first kiss and I felt sorry that I was, once again, the one who placed it there. But relief also swelled up in me to know that he understood just how I felt about Evan, that it was just something I simply couldn't help or forget. .

"I need you to know I didn't mean for all of this to happen and I'm sorry my confusion some how dragged you into it. But I really did enjoy spending time with you and I can only hope that sometime in the future we can at the very least remain friends." I smiled at him hoping that what I said could become a possibility.

"I wish the best for you and I hope that thought doesn't seem so far fetched one day. Goodbye Natalee." And with that, jacket in hand, he kissed my cheek before moving past me and towards the exit.

I stood there not turning around to watch him walk away, thinking about just how wonderful a person he was. Here I had hurt him and led him on, not deliberately, but none the less gave him ideas of things I knew in my heart I could never actually give him. And yet he understood in some small way why what happened, happened and didn't hate me for it. The girl that catches him one day is going to be extremely lucky.

Breaking me of my thoughts was Evans arm as he securely wrapped it around my waist. I melted into his hold knowing right away that it was him and secretly not caring if anyone saw. Leaving soft kisses on my bare shoulder he finally spoke.

"How did it go?" He said before he rested his face in the crook of my neck.

A thrill went through me as I felt his mouth on my bare skin and I almost forgot what was he had asked me before I realized he was waiting for my answer.

"Really well surprisingly." I answered.

He spun me around so that I was facing him, he furrowed his eyebrows as if he was contemplating something but instead of speaking right away he motioned for me to put my shoes back on that he was still holding. I used his arm as leverage as I slipped my feet back in one at a time.

"Did it go well in his favor or mine?" He stared at me curiously after I securely placed both feet in the death trap they call heels and looked up at him. Even with heels on he still was taller than me. Another thing that I love about Evan, even his presence overwhelms me.

I smiled at his question seeing a less confident and vulnerable Evan was different. And it still surprised me that it was all for me. I guess not talking to him all that time really did affect him as much as it had been affecting me.

"And what would be in your favor?" I asked eager to hear his answer.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him so that no distance remained between. He gently placed his thumb on my bottom lip, tracing it, before he hastily claimed my lips as if he was trying to tell me they were his. Which they were, I didn't want my lips to be any one else's but his. His passion flooded all my senses and I stumbled into him mostly because my knees buckled at the intrusion of his tongue and partly because I had to get use to these shoes all over again even though they weren't off for very long. Not letting me go he broke the kiss and chuckled at the pure want I'm sure he saw on my face. How long until we are in his bed I silently asked myself .

He cupped my face with his hands as he asked me, "As much as I know you hate and can't even function in those sexy heels of yours. I can't say I'm eager for you to take them off especially when I had thoughts of you wrapping your pretty little legs around my waist while you wear them."

He stared into my eyes heatedly as he spoke leaving my face a crimson red at his confession. The thought he just described had done wonders to my body as I felt an all to familiar wetness form between my legs again. The cocky grin he sported me after seeing my reaction to his words brought me back to the question I wanted him to answer.

"Answer my question Evan." I said knowing he knew exactly what question I was talking about.

His face became serious again, letting me go, he ran his fingers through his dark hair before he answered.

"Mine of course. I want you to be all mine." I knew his confession took a lot for him to say but I wasn't going to let up I still had one more thing I needed to be confirmed.

"And are you all mine?" I asked, I was scared to know his answer but silently hoping that I truly could be the one to bring him out of his player ways.

Sensing my apprehension he pulled me in for a hug resting his chin on my shoulder as he idly stroked my back. Before I got lost in his touches once again, I pulled back wanting him to say what ever he was going to say looking at me and not hiding behind my shoulder. Before giving a heavy sigh he knew exactly what I wanted and decided to answer.

"I was your's before I even knew I was. The look you gave me tonight when you first walked in and saw me confirmed that everything I was feeling, you were feeling too." The strength and conviction his words sent me had my eyes tearing, and for the first time, out of happiness. I thought the look I had given him when I first saw him was one more of a deer in headlights, but I guess my true feelings decided to shine through even when I wasn't ready for them to.

Wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs for the second time that night, he looked at me worriedly. I no longer left him worrying as I answered his thoughts before he could ask what was wrong.

"All I ever wanted was you. We are both to stubborn for our own good you know that?" I said swatting his chest lightly with my hand before I rested it on his chest. I could feel his hard muscles his dress shirt tried to conceal and I couldn't help myself as I traveled down past his ribs to steal a touch of his toned abs. He grabbed my hand, stilling my movements, I heard him intake a sharp breath at my innocent enough touches.

"I might be stubborn but you my dear Natty, are definitely a tease." He dipped his head and gave my neck a playful nip at my shocked expression I gave him at him calling me a tease. Followed by him whispering in my ear. "If you only knew what your touches did to me."

He took my hand that he was still holding and placed it on his hard bulge that was now straining to break free from his slacks. Goose bumps surfaced on my skin and my breath hitched at his sensual act. Feeling his obvious want and that he was so turned on from my touches did wonders to my libido.

"Well we are just going to have to fix this now aren't we." I said confidently as I began to stroke my hand up and down his length as best I could with fabric in the way. I don't know what came over me I'm never this bold, but with Evan I just can't seem to keep my hands off of him.

He stilled my movements and put space between us even at the protesting sigh I gave him.

"Not here we can't. As much as I would love to, we have people we need to get back to entertaining. I'm surprised they haven't come looking for us yet." He said trying to bring some rational thoughts back to our situation.

"You're right." I answered with a playful pout on my face. He chuckled at the vision I bestowed upon him one similar to that of a child who wasn't getting their way.

"I will try to end everything as quickly as I can and meet you later to take us home." He said reassuringly placing a quick peck on my lips. Smoothing out his clothes and mine to make presentable before we went back to the party we heard someone clearing there voice in the doorway.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Trevor asked.

My face paled but I was surprised to see Evan go about like everything was okay and that Trevor couldn't have possibly seen anything.

"We were just helping Travis find his coat, something came up and he had to leave." Evan replied.

"Oh okay, everyone has been looking for you guys." Trevor said. There held no suspicion in what he said or how he looked at us when he said it.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as Evan just nodded, walked past Trevor, and walked out of the room towards the party. I followed shortly after him only to be grabbed by Trevor just when I thought I was going to make it past him.

"I saw that you know." He said looking at me his voice held no emotion but I kept my head forward not wanting my eyes to give anything away.

"Saw what?" I said trying to sound relaxed as much as I possibly could.

"You know what. I know Mark doesn't know because I doubt he would be agreeing to go anywhere with Evan if he did."

My heart fell, I snapped my head so that my eyes met his and I couldn't contain the shock from lighting up across my face at my brothers words.

"It's not what you think." My eyes pleaded for him to understand and not to say anything until everything was completely sorted out. Evan and I had barely just begun and we needed to sort some things out before we were ready to let everyone else know. Mark would be a big obstacle to try and convince that we were happy together and he would just have to learn how to deal eventually.

"I hope not. If he hurts you Mark isn't going to be your only concern. What are you guys doing? He is like our brother." He said almost disgustedly.

The tone of his voice not only had me angered but frustrated. I didn't want to explain myself to anyone when I didn't exactly want to or know what to explain for. It was my life and only I could live it, not my brothers, not anyone.

"Correction, he might be like your brother, but I never thought of him in that way." I snapped, immediately feeling guilty after I saw his face.

"I just don't want to see you hurt, and knowing that it's Evan that could possibly do that, you can't exactly blame me for being concerned." Trevor rushed out quickly. I could tell he was battling his emotions and trying to understand for my sake and it made me sympathize my feelings towards his reaction to seeing Evan and I together like that. It probably freaked him out, my over protective brother, catching Evan who is like his brother and his sister in an intimate situation.

"I know you worry, but don't, I promise I will explain everything when I can." I said more gently than my previous answer.

"Okay, just know that I'm here, even at times when you think you don't want me to be." He hurriedly spoke before he spun around and quickly walked away to rejoin the party.

His words left me surprised. I always knew that Trevor and I understood each other more than Mark and I ever had. But I also wasn't expecting for him to respond so calmly either. It left me with great comfort knowing that I underestimated my brother and that he in fact had only good intentions all the while letting me be free to make my own decisions. I noticed he did , however, avoid Evan the rest of the night. Probably not wanting to press his luck into hoping it goes as smoothly between them as it did for Trevor and I when confronting the issue at hand.

The rest of the night I spent time making small talk with all the guest. All the while catching quick glances at Evan always knowing exactly where he was. I couldn't wait for this night to be over and by the heated looks he was shooting back at me every time our eyes caught each others I could tell he was thinking the exact same thing. He really was stunning, especially when I would see that infamous smile of his and realize that he had a much sexier one that was reserved for only me to see later in the bedroom. My skin burned at the anticipation of his touches and it took everything in me to get back to focus on what the people surrounding me at the time where saying.

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What seemed like forever, which I'm sure only lasted a few more hours, the night was finally coming to a close. Mr. Bianchi and Angie were the first of the family to part ways after all the guests had cleared out. My Mother and Mark making a break with out even saying good bye, Mom to work most likely, and Mark with Sara. They were all over each other all night, I wouldn't be surprised if she follows him to Colorado shortly after he leaves. Trevor was the last to leave opting to walk out with us when he heard Evan explain he would be giving me a ride to the rest of the group that still remained. Trevor shot me a look that only I had noticed.

"I just hope you guys know what your doing." Trevor whispered in my ear as we hugged and parted ways to our separate cars.

I just nodded my answer hoping Evan hadn't heard, not really wanting to tell him that my brother knew just yet. He waved at Evan before he got in his car with Cara and drove off. Evan walked to my side of his truck and let me in first before walking around and jumping in the driver seat. The way home was spent in a comfortable silence with my elbow rested on the closed window and my face leaned in my hand as I stared absently at the night landscape. The trees were bare leaving a promise that snow was soon to follow in the absent of their leaves.