Just A Patient Ch. 1

****This is a story about love. Please let me know what you think...and if you want the sex, you'll have to stick around... ;)****

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Alexis stepped into the smell of sickness.

She couldn't stand walking into the hospital, down the corridor and up to the second floor every week because of it. Although, she didn't exactly walk. She hobbled.

Three months earlier Alexis Starger was a lively college freshman. Bright and bubbly with a lust for life, she was on her way to achieve great things when the incident occurred.

Walking back to her dorm from a party as she had almost every weekend since arriving at LSU, Alexis never noticed the group of guys that pulled her behind the Design building. The rape was particularly brutal in that by attempting to bite and kick off her attackers she was severely beaten and left on the steps of the Union to be found by the few who decided to attend Friday morning classes.

Now her bruises were fading, her broken rib was healing and she was attending physical therapy twice a week to help regain the use of her fractured kneecaps. The therapy that she refused was emotional. No amount of cajoling or force from her parents and friends could make her see a therapist. What happened, happened. A stranger wasn't going to help her deal with it.

A glance at her watch told Alexis she was almost 10 minutes early for her appointment. Instead of waiting in the lobby she walked to the back and into the locker room-style bathroom. Leaning against the door Alexis surveyed her appearance in the full-length mirror across from the shower stall.

At 5'2 with what her mother called a "real" figure, she had been likened to stars like Catherine Zeta Jones or Jennifer Lopez. Her features were rounded: full lips on an almost rosebud mouth, a pert nose and deep brown eyes complemented her dark wavy hair and year-round natural tan. Before the incident, she was able to look at herself and see only this.

Now she saw what no one else saw. The full breasts that she used to be rather fond of, she now saw as traitors. The lips were too pouty, inviting. Her smile, which used to flow like sunshine, now rarely showed and when it did was restrained, never quite reaching her eyes. From her jeans and t-shirts to her slouched walk and unstyled hair, Alexis did everything in her power to make sure she no longer stood out. That she wouldn't be noticed. Especially by men.

"Alexis, are you okay in there?"

The concerned male voice from the other side of the door interrupted Alexis' thoughts. Throwing one last glare at her reflection she opened the door to see Jason Stillwell, P.T. waiting for her on the other side.

"Hey," she said without meeting his eyes, "I was a little early."

"Alexis, it's 20 after 5. I thought you weren't going to show. I was leaving for the day and Deb told me you'd been in there for half an hour. Are you sure you're all right?"

Jason's voice held a hint more concern than it did with his other patients. He was standing so close that Alexis had to lean back against the door to look up into his face. When she did she knew it was a mistake.

Every damn time! Every time she told herself she wouldn't look him in the eye again she did! Because she couldn't look without staring. She couldn't help it. At 6'1, sandy haired and lean, Jason looked more like an All-American college soccer player than a physical therapist. It was the eyes that did it. He had bedroom eyes. Not quite blue, but not quite green. They reminded her of satin sheets and cool breezes and…things she didn't want to be thinking about.

When she felt herself reaching out for him, Alexis jerked her eyes away and moved around him, mumbling, "I'm fine. Can we just start?"

Jason stood watching Alexis walk over to the mat in the middle of the main therapy room. She was by far his most intriguing patient. He hadn't been in therapy for very long, in fact he was almost fresh out of school, but he knew that whatever was wrong with Alexis needed more than physical therapy to fix.

She had been his patient twice a week for almost three months and he still couldn't get her to open up. Her lack of motivation and her apparent depression were a large part of why she was not improving physically. She still limped profoundly and he could still see her wince with pain if she moved her torso the wrong way.

What intrigued Jason was that he wanted more than desperately for her to improve. As if he had something to prove to himself. He wanted to be the one to fix her. He wanted to make her smile and see her walk straight and firm and hear her laugh. He knew he was being ridiculous. It was probably a natural response to the knowledge of her situation. Whatever it was, he never let it interfere with the way he treated her. She was just a patient. A beautiful patient. But just a patient.

Crossing to the mat, Jason squatted beside where Alexis sat, legs straight out in front of her, in the middle of the room.

"Look, since we're running late and it's the end of the day, how about we just skip your exercises?"

For a second she thought of cheesy come-ons and every doctor/patient sex cliché she'd ever heard. He must have noticed the sudden wariness in her eyes because he stood up and walked away from her, toward a table in the corner.

"We can just do stretching and massage for today," he said, picking up a thick white towel.

Jesus! She must really be losing her mind if she thought Jason was coming on to her. He had never been anything but appropriate with her and she felt bad for even thinking he would be otherwise.

A little tentatively she replied, "Yeah, sure," and started to get up off the floor when she noticed that the massage table wasn't in the room. Jason noticed her noticing.

"My 3:30 broke it. I should have been more careful after we had to hoist him on with pulleys."

"Oh," was Alexis' only response. A little disappointed that his joke hadn't gone over well, Jason started to reach for another towel when he noticed the corner her mouth lifting. Not quite a smile, but it would do.

Jason walked back to Alexis with the towels and once again squatted down beside her.

"We'll have to do everything on the mat."

Alexis had a sudden sinking feeling. For the first time in three months she would be lying on the floor. Under a man. As soon as the thought occurred to her she pushed it away. This was Jason, not some drunk frat guy. Laying back she rested her head on the towels Jason had laid out for her.

Lifting her right leg, Jason began stretching it, pushing it towards her head. As he did, his large, lean body loomed over her. Suddenly, with his body so close, practically on top of hers, Alexis didn't see Jason anymore.

She saw the guy. The last one of her attackers she could remember before passing out. As he shoved himself into her she began kicking at him with her right leg. Her left was pinned under one of the faceless men, as were her arms. Rather than pull out and hit her as the others had he merely grabbed hold of her leg in his beefy hand and raised it up, pushing it toward her head. Pushing and pushing until she thought her leg would snap. She remembered screaming. That's when he chose to slap her, screaming at her, "SHUT UP, BITCH!"

"ALEXIS!"

Jason had let go of her leg, but was still leaning over her, his hands framing her face and his eyes filled with shock as she laid on the floor screaming.

"ALEXIS!"

Not caring that it was Jason, wanting nothing more than to get away, Alexis pushed off the floor and ran, as best she could with her limp, out of the office. She made it out to the parking garage before Jason caught up to her. He grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Jerking away, Alexis looked up at him with tear streaming down her face.

"Don't! Please don't touch me right now. Please…I…I…" She couldn't get the words out around the lump in her throat. Inside she was begging herself, "Please, not right now. Don't do this right now. Not in front of Jason." But she couldn't hold it in anymore. Sobbing she started to crumple to the floor, but Jason lurched forward, his arms coming around her.

"I'm sorry. Lex, I'm so sorry. I should have known. I should have found a table…" Jason's hands were running over her back, her arms, smoothing her hair. He was pretty sure what just happened and he felt like shit. More importantly, he felt responsible. Knowing her history, he should never have put her in that kind of position. On the floor with him over her. What was he thinking?

They stood that way for a few minutes, Alexis slowly crying herself out, until her breathing started to return to normal. Then she realized what she was doing. Abruptly she jerked away and tried to walk around him and out of the garage. He moved in front of her and gently put his hands on her shoulders.

"Where are you going?"

"I…don't…I don't know."

"Let me drive you home, okay."

"No. No, I don't want to go home. My parents will be there. I just…I can't go home right now."

By now Alexis was starting to shake. The memories of a few moments ago and now her embarrassment at crying like a baby in front of Jason were too much.

Jason didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave her alone, but he didn't want to sound like an asshole for offering to take her to his apartment.

"Look, we can go to my apartment. I'll make you some coffee and you can decide what you want to do."

Alexis just looked at him for a long minute, searching his eyes. Finally she agreed.

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Alexis stepped into the smell of Jason.

That undefinable scent that was Jason, spicy and clean and sweet, filled the entire apartment. Somehow, it wasn't what she imagined it looking like. Not that she had imagined what his apartment looked like. The dining room/kitchen and living room were almost one room with furniture that looked extremely comfortable but somehow just masculine enough. The couch was huge, cream colored and inviting. He saw her eyeing it and smiled.

"Go ahead, try it out. It sleeps even better than it looks."

There it was again, that quirky almost-smile. What would he have to do to make the other side of her mouth join the other?

As Jason fixed the coffee, Alexis flopped back on the enormous couch, propped her left leg on the coffee table and closed her eyes. What was she doing? She knew she shouldn't be here. Jason was her doctor. Okay, maybe not, but he was…well, they had a professional relationship…of sorts…

She had started to think that she would never be comfortable around a man again. Now, she could almost easily picture herself very comfortable with Jason. Just then Jason walked over with the mugs of coffee and, placing them beside himself, sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of Alexis. As she opened her eyes they collided with his. Damn it! Not again.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah," she said, a little uncertainly, "I'm fine. I just…had a flashback, I guess."

He had begun to knead her knee and she was slowly beginning to relax. Uncertainly, with his eyes focused on her knee, he asked her the question she had been dreading since she broke down at the clinic.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Surprisingly she did. As he pulled her left leg onto his lap and began massaging her left knee, she told him about the party she had gone to that night. How she had gotten tired and decided to walk home. Then the rape. The hospitalization. The way she felt every minute of every day. Scared. And helpless. And alone.

By the time she finished, Jason had moved to the couch beside her and her legs were across his lap, her knees on top of his legs. His hands had ceased to massage. Slowly, tentatively, he reached out and cupped her face in his hands. Drawing her closer he waited until his lips were grazing hers before he whispered...

"I love you."

This was not what Alexis had expected. Stunned, she pulled back until she was looking up into his face.

"What did you say?"

"I know….I know…I probably shouldn't have said it…I just wanted you to know that you don't have to be scared…and you aren't helpless…or alone…"

Slowly, like sunshine breaking over a dark horizon the corners of Alexis' mouth blossomed and her cheeks bloomed and her eyes shone until she burst into her first real smile in the past three months.

Jason leaned forward and captured the smile in a kiss, sealing it and making it his.

That night, enveloped by the enormous couch with Jason's arms tight around her and his lips on her neck, Alexis fell asleep for the first time in months feeling safe. And loved.

The last thing Jason thought before drifting to sleep was that he'd gotten his smile. Tomorrow, he'd work on a laugh.

To be continued...