Just Beth

Greg took everything along with a fresh cup of coffee back to his office and shut the door. I figured by noon or at least by the end of the day he'd say something, but he didn't. I was still at my desk at five thirty when he came out, told me to have a good evening and left. I spent a miserable night wondering, seconding guessing my figures and even myself. By nine o'clock the next morning I couldn't take it any longer.

"Greg, I was wondering if you had a chance to look at those figures I gave you yesterday?" I said sticking my head into his office.

"Yeah, they looked okay," he said without looking up from the pile of papers he was working on at his desk.

"Okay, thanks, I guess?" I replied tentatively. Now he looked up.

"Steve, I pay you to do what I ask correctly the first time. If I didn't like the figures, don't worry you would have been the first to know," he said with a smile. "Now, if you don't have anything else to do, I'm sure I can find you something."

"No, I've got stuff to do, I was just wondering."

"Look, you did fine. Maybe next week we'll talk about you doing a few more jobs for me. Right now I'm busy, so if you don't mind." I was out of there in a flash but had this huge Cheshire cat smile on my face, and the only way it was going to go away is if it was surgically removed. I'd done good.

I had a future with them if I wanted it. And at the least I was learning things I could take anywhere I went. After that week Greg always gave me more than I could possibly handle. I felt like I was back in school and he was the teacher giving me test after test to see how far I had come. More than once I was about to cry 'uncle' but I never did, my dad didn't raise a quitter. Six months later he handed me four sets of blueprints and told me I'd been promoted and to get him pricing as soon as possible.

"I thought that's what I've been doing all this time?"

"Yeah, I suppose you have, but now you've got the job title that goes along with it." Beth and I went to dinner that night to celebrate.

Night after night I walked around with the damn ring in my pocket. So many times I wanted to drop down on one knee and ask her, but something was always coming up, or it just wasn't the right time. Friday was again turning out to be that type of night. We had gone to a movie, picked up a pizza, and went back to her parents' house to eat.

With her dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail I took a good look at her face and eyes. I was hopelessly in love with this woman. She wasn't a ten in everyone's book but she was in mine. She had a nice body and a round booty that begged to be squeezed.

In the middle of eating a piece of pizza I stopped, dropped it down on my plate, and started making out with her. This wasn't just lip kissing, it was wet passionate lip mashing with a whole lot of tongue.

"Wow, what brought this all on?" Beth asked pulling back a bit.

"Beth, I'm in love with you. Hell, I've been in love with you forever. I want, no, I need you to be with me by my side."

"Steve, what are you saying?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying. The same thing I've been saying for the last year. I want to marry you and live happily ever after as the story goes."

Steve, we just need to wait a little longer. I've got two job offers, and I just need to be sure. We've come this far, what's another year or so?"

"A year or so?" I shouted a lot too loudly. I was the one to pull back this time.

"Steve I've told you since day one that I wanted to be set in my job before I committed to anyone. Even if I get the job I want, it's going to be at least a year before I can relax and ease up a bit. I need to concentrate on what's important to me right now, and that is making use of what I've been trained to do for the last four and a half years." My hard-on was gone and so was my good mood. I pushed the ring deeper into my pocket. I lost my appetite and for the first time in a long time I wasn't enthralled with Beth.

"What happens in a year and you're not exactly where you want to be?"

"Well, I'll just have to see at that point," was her reply.

"Beth, it's getting late and I've got a lot of work I need to have done before Monday morning. If you don't mind, I think I'll call it a night," I told her getting up.

"Steve, please don't be mad."

"Beth, I'm not mad," I told her knowing it was a lie. "I'll call you later, okay?" I said putting on my jacket to leave.

"I do care for you, you do know that, don't you?" I looked into her eyes when she said that, but for the first time they didn't look back at me, not like they had since that night at the bar when I proposed to her the first time.

"I've got to go." She walked me to the front door, kissed me, and told me again not to be mad. I wasn't mad, but I was something and it wasn't good.

The half hour drive back to my apartment took almost two hours being as I drove in circles. Did I love her? Hell, yes. That wasn't the question. But for the first time I finally realized that even though I had been putting her first in my life I was way down the list on hers, and I was no longer okay with it. She was right, she'd said from day one she wanted to be settled in her career before she got married. I was thinking perhaps I never really heard what she was telling me. I just figured when she got out of school we'd connect, get married, and live happily ever after. Seems like I wasn't as good a listener as I thought. After that night I stopped carrying around the ring. I can't say my love died but it was like a gas oven, the flame had gone from broil to just warm.

Beth took a job with a large marketing firm, Anderson and Phillips. She started all over again relearning what she'd been taught, but their way now. There were seminars, trade shows, and many trips to customers' locations. I was still the one chasing then one Thursday night I just stopped.

I watched my cell phone ring. I knew by heart the number that was calling. I just watched it ring until it stopped. That scenario went on ten more times that weekend and continued into the following week. I was constantly arguing with myself about what I wanted and how much was I willing to give up for it.

It was late, probably close to six thirty before I walked out of my office and headed out to the parking lot. I'd been burning the midnight oil trying to impress my boss enough to give me a bump in pay. I'd seen a cute two-bedroom house I wanted to buy, but I didn't want to have to skimp to make the house payments. In other words I didn't want to be house poor. I saw her car parked next to mine in the parking lot and knew she had to be around here somewhere.

"You're avoiding me," Beth said with her hands folded in front of her.

"Not avoiding, just not chasing you anymore."

"Chasing me?" she said in a tone of voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"You know, calling, e-mailing, texting, begging you to go out with me, following you around like a lost puppy."

"Steve, I never asked you to do that."

"I know, and that's the problem. Beth, what do you want? Why are you here?"

"Steve, I want it to go back to the way it was between us. I really care for you."

"Say, Steve I really love you, and I want to be your wife," I told her.

"Why are you being so difficult?" was her quick reply.

I opened my car, threw my briefcase on the back seat, and slipped in behind the steering wheel. "You see that's the problem. That little puppy that's been following you around all this time has grown up and isn't satisfied with the baby talk any longer." I started my car. "When you're ready to talk to me like an adult give me a call." I drove off. Maybe I finally did grow-up.

"You're killing me, Steve," Greg said when I told, not asked, him for a raise. "Business is tight you know that."

"Greg, you have a choice, give me what you know I deserve or I walk."

"Shit, just because you're pissed at your girl doesn't mean you have to be a horse's ass."

"I'll give you until Friday, and then I'm out of here," I told him and for once I wasn't bluffing. He was getting off cheap and we both knew it. I wanted to stick around because he was a hell of a teacher, but I wanted a fair wage also. I knew his competitor would give me more than I demanding from Greg, but I was above just walking out without giving him a chance to give me what I wanted. I guess my skin was starting to get a little thicker.

It had been forever since I'd been out with Brian and Angie. I'd neglected my friends, basically centering my life around Beth.

"Thought you died," Brian said, touching our beer bottles as Angie elbowed him in the ribs.

"You know where in the hell he's been, and your fingers aren't broken either," she shot back at him. Angie let him think he controlled the roost but everyone knew the truth.

"Sorry about you and Beth, maybe she'll come around," Angie said in a motherly tone of voice.

"Not much chance of that happening. She's going to be a career girl first and whatever's left isn't enough for me anymore. I'll buy this round," I said motioning for our waitress.

"We're not going to have to carry you out again, are we? It looks like you've gained a few pounds, and Brian's mother is visiting so I'm not sure where we'd dump you this time." Angie laughed.

"Hell's bells woman. Since my dad died Mom hasn't had so much as a date. She'd probably loved to be shagged by a good looking guy like Steve."

"Make that two rounds," I said, trying to get that image out of my head.

No, I didn't get blasted, but I did give the waitress a good tip and in return she gave me her phone number. She was nice looking and I felt a twinge in my loins that hadn't been properly addressed in one hell of a long time. A week later I called her.

Her name was Peggy and she was a knockout in anyone's book with long blonde hair, a beautiful face, and a hot body. One thing though was lacking, she didn't have a lot upstairs, if you know what I mean. We had a nice dinner, went to a movie, and I took her back to her apartment. We made out in front of her apartment door and although I was invited in, and probably could have had my way with her, I passed on it. If I wanted mindless sex, I always had my right hand.

Two days later I got an e-mail from Beth. "Are we or are we not exclusive?"

"Define exclusive?" I replied back.

"You know damn well what it means. Only going out with one another." I could feel the anger behind that e-mail. It looks like some little birdie had told her about Peggy.

"You've got your job to keep you warm, I figured that would be enough for you." It was a cheap shot, and I knew it even before I pushed down the enter key. I had grown tired of being number two or was it number three or four. She didn't reply.

I got my raise and a year later got another one without even begging for it. I bought the house and spent most of my spare time and extra money fixing it up.

When Greg asked what I thought about a particular advertisement he had done I told him I thought it sucked. He looked at it and asked me why I thought so. I don't know if he agreed with me or not but I didn't hear about it for almost another month when he brought in another one.

"Well?" he asked, waiting for my reply.

"Well, it's better but it looks like a cheap ad for a subpar builder. Greg, you're the number two builder in the state, shouldn't the ad reflect that?"

"You know, Steve, you're right. Thanks for your input." A month later Greg came into my office followed by his wife, Jill, who took care of the company books.

"We want you to work with the ad people. They're giving us a hard time about their work and they keep asking us what we want. You know what we want, so we're just eliminating the middle man and going to the source."

"I'm not in advertising, I build houses."

"But Steve, you've got a good eye for details, layouts, and know what we're looking for. Just consider it another part of your job."

"Does this come with a raise?" I ribbed him.

"Let's just say you'll get to keep your job. How about that?"

"Like I said, I'd be more than happy to help out." I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Wear something a little better than jeans on Tuesday," Greg told me. "We're meeting with that damn ad company and I don't want them to think we are a bunch of blue collar hicks."

"Greg what do you care what they think? You hired them not the other way around." But I wore a pair of Dockers anyway.

The two salesmen were slick and came across pretty arrogant, especially when they thought they knew more about our business than we did.

"Guys, the ad sucks, I don't know how many times we have to say it. Greg, maybe you're working with the wrong agency?" That got their attention. No one in this day and age wanted to lose an account.

"Wait a minute, let's not get hasty here. If you don't like the layout it can be changed, no problem. Why don't we get our designer together with you and iron out the details. We can give you anything you want." They were sweating it now.

"Okay, you can have your designer get with Steve here, but this is your last shot at it," Greg told the two of them.

"Don't worry you won't be disappointed, I can guarantee it."

"I wouldn't want to be that designer when the two of them get back to the office," I told Greg chuckling. I only wish the rest of the day had gone this easy. Two houses failed final inspections and one needed the dining room ceiling redone. My afternoon and evening blended into one.

Wednesday Greg got a call from the agency and made an appointment for late Thursday afternoon.

"Do you want me and my wife there?" Greg asked.

"That won't be necessary unless you really want to be. Look, after they finish the next layout you can either approve it or find another agency. You can't do anything until they have something to show you." Looking back I wish that I had told them to handle it themselves, but I needed my job too much.

Wednesday was crazy with both homes needing to be re-inspected late in the day. It cost Greg extra money to redo a bunch of things—therefore he wasn't in a very good mood.

"The next crew that fucks up another inspection is going to get their damn walking papers. I'm not running a fucking charity here." Like I said, Greg was a little peeved.

Thursday he came in all smiles. He had either gotten a good night sleep or gotten laid. Whichever it was I didn't care only that he was in a better mood. Thursday was busy but with all the problems of yesterday taken care of we could ease up a bit.

"Remember you've got a meeting here at four o'clock with that designer." I hadn't forgotten, and I sure as hell didn't dress up for them either this time around. "Put the screws to them Steve, maybe they'll give me a discount after fucking it up so many times."

I was deep into an estimating job when I heard Jill's voice at my office door.

"Steve, the designer is here to see you."

"Jill, tell him to cool his heels in the lobby for a few minutes until I finish up this last item," I replied without even bothering to look up.

"That's going to be a little difficult." I looked up and there standing with Jill was Beth. "And she isn't a he either," Jill said with a smile.

"Hello, Steve," Beth said in a professional voice.

Crap. "Jill, maybe you should handle this?"

"Oh no. After you going on and on about how the ad should look and getting my husband all worked up, you're going to finish this project," Jill told me in no uncertain terms. "So get with her, fix the damn ad so we can be done with it once in for all." I was screwed and tattooed.

"Steve, if you'd rather work with someone else, I'm sure the office would send over another designer."

"Beth, I don't have a problem with it if you don't. " I told her starting to clear off my side table so we'd have a place to work. "So why don't you lay out what you've got and we can go from that point?"

We spent the next two hours arguing about what looked good and what would work. Finally, we'd agreed on what I thought everyone would be happy with.

"Well, that was fun," I said sarcastically. "How long will it take to redo the ad and have something for Greg and Jill to approve?"

"Probably by the middle of next week," Beth replied packing up her drawings and laptop computer. "I'm glad to see you're doing so well and that your boss trusts you so much."

"I've paid my dues but I'm still learning as I go along. How are you doing at your job? Is it everything you thought it would be?" I asked knowing I had an underlying question I wouldn't be asking.

"It's going all right. A little more work than I thought, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"I'll bet," I said under my breath but too loudly because Beth heard it.

"What's that suppose to mean?" She asked in that tone I hadn't missed.

"You know what I mean. Was it worth what you gave up?"

"I didn't give up on us, you did when you started dating that blonde bimbo? Was she good in bed?"

"No idea, I never got the chance to find out. How about you? Your job keeping you warm at night?" We were now taking pot shots at each other.

"Steve, all I wanted was a little time to adjust to my new job," she spat back at me.

"That was just the latest excuse. What did you have in mind for a year down the road? You were working on a promotion and had to do extensive traveling? There was always another excuse why you wouldn't commit. I just got tired of waiting and always being number two."

"You were never number two," she said defiantly.

"Bullshit! You told me day one NO ONE was going to interfere with your future plans, not even me. You want to know something crazy, I had this nutty idea in my head that you actually loved me. Hell, I even went out and bought a goddamn ring no less. I was going to propose to you the night of your graduation but decided to wait for just the right moment. How stupid was that? I should have asked you that night and had you turn me down so I could have gone on with my life a lot earlier."

"I don't believe you. If you would have bought a ring you would have asked me, I know you."

"Come with me!" I shouted, taking her by arm.

I led her out to the parking lot and to my car. Opening it up I reached in and pulled the piece of nylon fishing line off the rear view mirror; attached to it was the ring.

"What the hell does this look like? I don't lie like some people I know." I placed the ring in her hands. I don't know what I expected from my little grandstanding display. I had looked at that ring a million times and although my mother kept telling me to take it down, it was a reminder of happier times.

"Why don't you keep it, I have no use for it any longer and besides I'm starting to get tired of looking at it." Beth couldn't take her eyes off the ring and then me.

"I didn't know."

"You weren't suppose to, that was the idea."

"Is that why you started dating Peggy?" Beth asked moving closer.

"One date, one fucking date is my history with her. Don't get me wrong, she was hot and all, but she didn't have the full package I'd had up to that point and time.

"But you and I were suppose to be exclusive."

"Beth, I was. You weren't. You were in love with this dream about how your life was supposed to turn out. A wonderful career first and then a loving husband, and I don't have a clue after that. Like I said, I got tired of being number two in your life." I'd finally said what should have been said a long time ago. Did I still care for her? Yes, but I was getting over her, though not fast enough, especially after seeing her today. "So, why don't you get your stuff and go back to your ever loving job and give my boss what he wants. It would really be a sorry state of affairs if you couldn't do it after all the time you spent working on your career." I left her standing there and started walking back to my office.