Justin's Secret Ch. 08

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Jason finds out.
9.2k words
17.9k
8

Part 8 of the 9 part series

Updated 10/29/2022
Created 10/18/2013
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It had just gone past twelve o'clock in the evening, and Jason was sure that Justin was sleeping. The little twink's mouth was slightly open and small, cute snores escaped it, his eyes closed lightly.

The second movie they'd decided to watch was almost over, not that they'd paid much attention to either of them. If they weren't making out they were talking and laughing with each other, and the only time they'd fell silent was when Justin had drifted off to sleep, his college hours and work catching up with him. Jason would have admired how adorable he looked, but other things were on his mind.

Jason got up slowly after pausing the movie, trying not to disturb Justin's sleep. He could tell his boy had been nervous, even upset the whole evening and had been trying to hide it -- something in his voice was off, and Jason knew it was because of what he had to tell him. He also could tell he was trying not to fall asleep since ten, obviously wanting to long out Jason not knowing as much as possible.

But, he was sleeping now, and it was Jason's chance to see what was bothering him. He had no idea what the item was that would tell him Justin's secret, he didn't understand how an object could do so, but he was definitely curious to find out.

"Okay." Jason said quietly to himself, feeling his nerves building up as he closed the bathroom door behind him. He hoped it wasn't as bad as Justin was making out -- he didn't know what he'd do if it was that bad and had to leave him. He didn't think that option was possible at that point. He couldn't go without Justin, it was the only thing he really looked forward to any more.

Everything else in his life was boring or negative -- he hadn't been completely honest with Justin when he'd said he was over his depression. He was still taking his medication. Justin was the only thing in years, since the beginning of his first relationship that had made him really happy. On top of getting too attached, the fact he'd relied his happiness on the little male was worrying him also.

He held his breath as he opened the cabinet. He looked around the items on the bottom shelf -- shaving cream, razors, cologne, toothpaste... everything looked normal, but he knew it wasn't behind all of it. He removed it all as silently as he could in order to not wake Justin with the cluttering noise.

Normally, he'd be really disgusted by what he'd found -- whenever he saw it around the house back home, he'd make a face at it. He didn't like thinking of the connotations of a box of sanitary towels and usually wouldn't give it a second thought, but this box -- this bright pink, frilly patterned box in particular he couldn't stop staring at. He took in every detail.

He let the breath he was holding out and turned around, leaning against the sink. The drops on the side of the box indicating how heavy Justin's flow was made him want to puke. He noticed it was open, some of them had been taken out and presumably used recently. He felt even more sick at that.

"God, I knew it." He mumbled quietly, not knowing how to feel. He shouldn't have ignored that voice. He shouldn't have pointed out Justin's scars. He felt sick at every insensitive thing he'd ever said without thinking about Justin's situation. He felt horrible -- the fact Justin couldn't trust him enough to talk to him about something his own brother had gone through had him feeling sick. Was he really that insensitive? He hated to think that he frightened Justin into not being able to talk about his sensitive topic despite the fact he'd handled it before.

Though, he didn't feel sick at the fact Justin was really a female physically. That wasn't the thing that was making his stomach churn. It was the fact he felt like he couldn't tell him.

Jason silently put everything back into place like it had never been touched. He used the toilet quickly and flushed it -- then cringed. He realized that would've definitely woken Justin up. Sighing, he washed his hands and retreated into the bedroom.

He'd never seen Justin when he was asleep, and therefore not when he'd just woken up. It was a lovely sight -- one that almost made him forget everything he'd found it. He smiled warmly at it, taking in Justin's confused, tired look. His hair was tussled and it wasn't as perfect as usual, but he loved it. He was making cute little noises as he woke up, his head still laid back on the pillow as he stretched out.

Jason, without a word, climbed back into the bed after putting the laptop on the floor. He thought it was adorable how long it took Justin to come around after he'd woken up; he still wasn't with it.

Of course though, the thoughts from the bathroom came flooding back. Jason just sighed and watched Justin, who was still dazed from waking up, staring straight at him as if he forgot Jason was staying the night.

"Sorry. Go back to sleep." Jason mumbled, not really in the mood to cuddle and stayed his distance, pulling the covers up to his chest. He was going to turn his back against him just to get comfortable but he felt that would appear cold.

Justin still looked confused, but he closed his eyes and let out a small whining noise, as if telling Jason off for waking him up. Jason couldn't help but smile at the sight. His innocent Justin.

"How long was I out?" Justin grumbled almost bitterly, oblivious to the fact Jason had made a trip to the bathroom while he was asleep.

"Like twenty minutes. Let's sleep though, it's late." He would've bribed him to stay up in other cases but now he didn't feel like it. He needed time to think.

"Good night." Justin mumbled, yawning. He turned his small body around and cuddled back into Jason's stomach, creating a spooning position.

Jason wanted to resist but he didn't want to make it obvious. Instead he threw his arm around Justin's stomach, letting him fall asleep while he stayed up to think.

'He has a pussy' the crude words swam around Jason's mind. He couldn't think of anything else -- just that his boy wasn't really a boy. He'd always had a hunch but he'd pushed them aside, but this was something else. It wasn't weird with his brother because he'd grown up knowing he had female parts, but he always thought Justin was actually male until recently. Sure, he acted feminine, but Jason thought he was just gay. This was something else, something else entirely. He wished he hadn't ignored it before, he wished he'd confronted himself about it so that this wasn't so much of a shock, but he didn't. He didn't and now he was paying for it -- it was definite. His boy was trans. All unsure thoughts had been secured -- Justin had a pussy.

Jason thought back to their activities of the night. 'He fingered himself in front of me!' he couldn't stop the crude thoughts. It was all so strange but he couldn't stop it. It was unbelievable and had him picking up things he hadn't noticed before.

"I thought we were going to sleep?" A tired voice asked, giggling away, pushing his behind into Jason's crotch.

It was then that Jason realized he was completely hard, pressing into Justin's ass. He was hard over the thoughts of Justin being physically female. The sick feeling disappeared and was replaced with pure sexual drive -- he'd always preferred pussy over ass as he'd stated to Justin before, and his preference was definitely kicking in. He was confused.

Justin continued to grind his ass back into Jason's crotch, letting out little whimpers. It was driving Jason crazy.

"No." Jason's voice shook. He stilled Justin's hips with a strong hand. "No -- let's go to sleep. It's late." He had a lot of thinking to do -- he was confused and annoyed by his penis betraying him, once again.

"What the Hell?" Justin looked over his shoulder, eyes still tired. "Excuse me, who are you and what have you done with Jason?" He laughed lightly but Jason could see he was lost.

Jason furrowed his eyebrows. "Have you not processed yet that I've been to the bathroom?" He regretted his words immediately -- he hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that. It sounded bitter.

Justin's face paled. He didn't reply for a few seconds. "What?"

Justin had had no idea that Jason had even gotten up, let alone go to the bathroom. He thought he'd woken up because Jason had paused the movie and put the laptop on the floor -- that was the last he actually remembered, anyway. He always took long to fully wake up.

Justin always felt sick at the mere thought of someone else finding out, but now that it had actually happened, he felt his stomach twisting and churning harder than ever before.

Before Jason could reply, his legs were being shoved out of the way. Justin scrambled off of the bed and almost slammed the door behind him to the bathroom, much too loudly for that time of night. He was soon on his knees in front of the toilet, gagging and reching, but nothing was coming up. He felt terribly sick at Jason's words. 'He knows' Justin was repeating in his mind, making the state of his stomach worse.

Once the gagging was over with, Justin sat cross legged in front of the toilet just in case. He then felt another presence joining him in the bathroom.

The need to be sick reoccurred and he clenched his fists, but remained control of himself. He felt Jason sit behind him on the floor and arms engulfed him, pulling him backwards onto his lap. Justin questioned the comfort but accepted it nonetheless. 'Why isn't he completely freaking out?' he thought.

"You alright?" Jason mumbled, kissing the little males neck. He felt him shaking.

"Yeah just..." Justin felt like someone was forcing his mouth closed whenever he opened it. "Fuck, sorry." He mumbled. He wanted to cry with embarrassment. With the way Jason was acting he really felt like he was being over dramatic. "This is kind of a big thing for me." Justin suddenly felt uncomfortable with Jason's touch on him -- he didn't dare look at him. He was confused as to why he was being so casual. "Why haven't you left yet?" Justin whimpered.

Jason could hear the sadness in his voice and his heart broke, but at least he wasn't crying.

"I'm not bothered by it." Jason's low voice made Justin swallow. When he didn't reply, Jason continued. "I'm only bothered that you didn't tell me. Am I that insensitive? I don't care what you look like Justin." As he spoke, he tried to turn Justin in his lap, and he luckily co-operated. If it was the right situation, Jason would've laughed at his angel's confused face. Instead he sat and admired him through the strange emotions he felt. 'Mine' Jason thought.

"I..." Justin tried to talk but he was overwhelmed with emotion for Jason. Tears pooled in his eyes, but this time it wasn't because he was sad. "Say it again." He ordered.

Jason smiled small. "I don't care what you look like. But I do think you're the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on." He didn't know where that came from -- he'd never been emotional towards someone like that in his life. "I thought it was lust at first -- I thought if we had sex I would be over it. But when I spent that night with you I knew it was different -- I knew you were different." He wanted to stop but he couldn't. "How could I give this up just because of how you look?"

"You're not insensitive." Justin finally built up the courage to talk. "You're wonderful -- you're attentive and you actually care and you're there for me when I'm upset." He felt terribly emotional, but not a lot more than Jason was. "No one but Brent and Becca ever give the time of day other than well... you know. Not even my family." Justin sniffled. "You make me feel like I matter and that's why I was frightened to tell you. In case you left. I couldn't..." He trailed off, leaving it at that, and he was soon quietly crying at the thought of Jason leaving or telling people. He still felt afraid, and slung his arms around Jason's neck. He couldn't handle him leaving and held him tight.

The pair cuddled quietly for a while on the bathroom floor, sharing tender kisses on each others skin. They stayed there for a few moments until Jason picked his lover up from his lap, and carried him to the bed where they were previously sleeping peacefully. Jason tucked his boy up in the covers and laid with him, resuming their quiet activity from when they were in the bathroom.

"Are you mad?" Justin whimpered in a stuffy voice into Jason's neck. He still hadn't let go. He couldn't.

"No." Jason sighed, that kind of sigh before someone concludes something. "Let's get some sleep." he rearranged the position to the spooning position they were in before.

"Will you be here in the morning?" Justin's tone in his voice made Jason's heart break.

"I meant what I said Justin." Jason answered, planting a kiss on his shoulder. "Sleep now. We need it."

"Okay." Justin mumbled almost sadly, sniffling as he shifted to get comfortable. He silently prepared himself for if he woke to an empty bed, cuddling the covers as a substitute into his small chest. He didn't realize how horrible it would be to tell someone he loved his secret.

While Jason was probably already sleeping, Justin thought about how much he did love Jason, how much he's loved him all along, and it brought him to tears. He really did hate himself.

***

Justin's eyes slowly fluttered open. He sighed and whimpered with the tiredness and the slowness of his awakening, stretching out like a lazy, tired cat. Then he realized he could only stretch out on the bed if he was alone on it. He shot up on the bed faster than he could process, feeling the extra space with his hands in disbelief. Before the tears could spring to his eyes with realization, he heard the toilet flush from the bathroom.

He sighed with relief and delight as Jason exited the bathroom, trying to be quiet, but then saw that his boy was awake.

"Sorry, I tried not to wake you up." Jason smiled at him.

Justin let him cup his face for a kiss. He could taste the freshness from his toothpaste and pulled back when he realized he hadn't yet brushed his teeth. He was still tired, but he was glad that Jason was acting normal. Without a word, Justin retreated to the bathroom to go about his daily routine on a Saturday morning. Though usually it consisted of just going to the toilet and brushing his teeth and maybe showering, now he was just grateful of when he put all of his makeup and hair stuff in the bathroom the day before. He tried to make himself look and smell presentable without making it too obvious.

He didn't want to go out and face the conversation that was pretty much inevitable, but he knew Jason was okay with him. He built up his courage and stepped outside of the bathroom, pacing slowly to Jason who was on his phone. Though, when he saw his boy, he happily put it down to scoot over for him. He noticed he'd put on makeup but he didn't say anything about it -- he thought the effort was adorable.

Justin took the invitation and sat down in the bed. He felt awkward that Jason knew. He'd never felt more like a female in his life -- he hoped it hadn't changed the way Jason saw him. He felt feminine enough around him without this happening.

"We should probably talk about last night?" Jason started off. He felt as awkward as Justin -- he didn't know how to approach the sensitive topic, but he knew it needed to be spoken about.

"Uh, yeah." Justin mumbled, fidgeting with his hands while he avoided eye contact. He didn't like this at all.

"This doesn't change anything, you know?" Jason assured, hoping Justin knew that or could accept that.

Justin shrugged and heaved out a heavy sigh. "I just don't want you to think differently of me."

"I've grown up with my brother who was also in your situation -- I'm not in a position to judge."

"Just don't... don't treat me like a... a girl." Justin stammered. "I'm not. I'm not." He almost spat, his voice laced with venom.

Jason saw him get visibly worked up with the thought of it. "I had a hunch anyway." He reassured.

"Hm?" Justin wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Yeah, I've thought so all along, little things." Jason watched Justin carefully for reactions. "I ignored it though because I thought it was pretty uncommon. I mean, my brother and my boyfriend?" The word slipped out of Jason's mouth before he could stop it.

He'd been avoiding eye contact the whole time, but upon hearing that word Justin snapped his head towards the culprit.

"Boyfriend?" Justin was trying to hold back a smile in case it was a genuine mistake. Not only had he said they were in a proper relationship despite the situation, but he'd also addressed him as a boy. It was a perfect word and had perfect timing.

"I suppose..." Jason scratched the back of his neck from nerves. "I mean, like, if you want to? God, ignore me, this is a really shitty way of asking you out." He laughed nervously, but adored the smile he'd made on Justin's face.

"You mean it? Like, even after what I told you?"

Jason let himself laugh at Justin's excitement. "I told you, I had a hunch all along."

Justin was blushing. "I've never had a boyfriend before." He mumbled quietly, more so to himself. He looked away from Jason again, feeling embarrassed at both his excitement and his sudden change of emotion. The reality of Jason really not minding had his problem almost disappearing. He thought this would only happen in his mind, replaying the way he hoped the conversation would go over and over again when he should be sleeping. It was perfect.

"Well, get used to it." Jason smirked, finding it now appropriate to lean in and claim Justin as his boyfriend. The pair shared an intimate, minty fresh kiss.

"Wait." Justin pulled back reluctantly. "Shouldn't we talk about this first? You can't just... you..."

"Just... tell me everything. I want to be with you regardless."

Justin smiled sheepishly. "Everything? Like what?" he suddenly didn't feel shy or embarrassed. Jason made it seem so normal, as if Justin had admitted he was just gay rather than trans. It made him feel really warm inside -- the first person he'd told and they accepted him. He wanted to giggle for no reason, just with the happiness he felt.

"Just... everything. Your parents? What about them?" Jason was genuinely intrigued.

Justin continued to smile though was unsure about the strange attention. He expected explosive arguments and tears but this was on another level. 'I could get used to this' Justin thought to himself. Maybe he was being a tad too dramatic, but then again, he couldn't think of a situation where he wasn't. It was in his blood to stress and blow things out of proportion; his parents were stars at it and that apparently reflected in his own behaviour.

"I... uh... they knew from the beginning." Justin cleared his throat, confused as to how speaking about it felt comfortable. "I'd cry as a baby if I was put in frilly dresses. I'd throw tantrums if I was bought pink. My favorite color was green and I liked action figures -- they knew I was at least a lesbian from the start. Stereotypical but my parents are quite crude."

"So sort of like my brother?" Jason related, making Justin feel more comfortable than he let on.

"Yeah, I guess so..." He trailed off. "I kept telling them I was a boy but they thought it was a phase. They were ashamed of me and didn't accept it until I was almost eighteen." He looked to Jason's frown, wanting to kiss it away. "Which then they paid for my..." Justin squirmed with displeasure. He didn't feel comfortable talking about that. He didn't want to say the word, the dreaded word breasts. The mere thought of the word associated with him made him want to throw up.

Jason quickly intervened upon seeing this. "That's where your scars are from, then?"

Justin was relieved. "Yes. Assuming your brother had the same?"

Jason nodded, avoiding saying that he knew what the marks were upon seeing them. "They've completely gone now, though. You can't tell unless you look real close and you know they're there." He reassured.