[K][T] and Family Finale

Author's note. This ends the story of How Kitten Met Teddybear. To those that voted for the Clitorides Awards, thank you.

2013 Winner, Best BDSM Story -

Chapter 31—Postcards

Interlude: 25^th Anniversary

Cindy:

Mom can be oblivious at times. She completely forgot that it is traditional for the groom to toss one of his wife's garters. The problem was not that she didn't have one. She had two. They were holding up her stockings. If Dad wants to tell her she is missing something obvious, he mentions stockings. Mom will give a tight smile and nod, which says everything you need to know about their relationship.

I dare anyone else to try it. My mother takes no prisoners.

June 6, 7:17 PM ET--broadway.com/divawatch/martel

Divawatch confirms that Francine Martel is taking an extended leave from from the New York Theater scene. As we reported last week, she has gone back to LaLa Land, for what may be an extended stay.

At this time there are no rumors of movie deals, but that has not stopped her from making waves. Martel Dance Academy has released several Youtube videos, reportedly shot at a New Jersey wedding. As befitting a string of dance schools, Miss Martel narrates several instructional videos, for century old dances, with a young couple demonstrating. What is causing a growing sensation is the other video, where Miss Martel is center stage, dancing The Nutcracker with the bride. If there is a better modern dance version of this classic ballet scene, Divawatch does not know what it is.

July 5, 1:15 AM--broadway.com/divawatch/martel

Miss Martel made a splashy appearance at Will Smith's 4^th of July party. Arriving with modeling heartthrob Jason Porter, the diminutive star quickly disappeared into a back room with the host. Will Smith recently directed and starred in Twenty to Life, a prison film rumored to be in serious trouble. Was this business? Miss Martel has actively been shopping for real estate near the major studios and her production company has taken a higher profile since her arrival last month.

Whatever Miss Martel and Mr. Smith briefly discussed, the diminutive star stayed for hours, dancing with anyone who asked. As the song says, she saved the last dance for Jason Porter. Is this a budding romance with a young man fifteen years younger?

July 15^th edition—Central New Jersey Beacon

K&T Properties announced the beginning of renovations for two warehouse buildings, located on 4^th Street, near Franklin. The buildings will be converted into upscale loft apartments. There is considerable other activity in the area. On 3^rd Street, two burned out buildings were recently demolished to make room for a secure parking lot. At another K&T property, on 5^th Street, XTreme Fitness announced that the franchise will be expanding to utilize the remainder of that building. Until May, the rear third of the building had been sublet to a photography studio.

September 15, 11:47 AM--broadway.com/divawatch/martel

Divawatch has confirmed that Miss Martel is expecting. The name of the father was not released, but believed to be model Jason Porter. This ends two weeks of speculation, since she was sick during recording of Hollywood Today. Miss Martel was being interviewed about Martel Productions refinancing of the Will Smith movie, Hard Time, when she rushed from the set to throw up.

Hard Time ****½ —Rotten Tomatoes

Years ago Will Smith cut new ground with Hancock. In that movie the superhero gets arrested for destroying property in his quest to get the bad guy. Super-violence had real life impact on the people in the city. In Hard Time, Will Smith's turn as both Director and Star, he returns us to old school movie making, leaving out the ubiquitous slow motion action sequences. The result is an Action/Adventure movie that features acting over special effects.

...

Since Sam Peckinpah, action has been presented in slow motion to allow us to grasp all that is happening. Hard Time declines to do so. Action proceeds in real time. Key elements are highlighted as they occur, while a still enlargement appears alongside, holds for a moment, then fades. The result allows the viewer to feel the rush of action, lost by slow motion sequences, yet still follow the important details.

In the climactic scene, the stills multiply, culminating in a full scene still, filled with highlighted elements and surrounded by enlargements. In a respectful—and impactful—homage to the ending of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, the image then morphs into a headline shot on the LA Times webpage. The old saying is that a picture is worth a thousand words. For Hard Times, one photo is worth a dozen story lines.

...

Entertainment Tonight—December 21, Fortney Donelson reporting

ET: We are talking with Will Smith, Star and Director of Hard Time. Will, this certainly turned out better than the rumor mill would have had it. Last summer there was talk of trying to salvage a wreck. Six months later, your opening week was at number five and at the top each week since. What changed?

Will Smith: It goes to show that rumors can be misleading. Six months before we opened, every shot was already in the can.

ET: Something must have given rise to the rumors.

WS: It is true that we needed to rethink how we handled the footage we shot. At first, we tried to use more familiar techniques, but the results were not what we wanted.

ET: By familiar techniques, you mean slow motion.

WS: That was a big one. Back when Lee Majors played The Six Million Dollar Man, the scenes were tiny. When he was running, the camera focused only on him. We went through a lot of trouble producing larges sets and complex scenes. Slow motion did not do that justice. A new approach was needed.

ET: How did that happen?

WS: Like most things, it was a team effort. Ira and Nathan were working through a scene frame by frame. They sent it off to our digital arts consultant in New Jersey. She sent back some frames with highlights and enlargements. From there it was not a big step to include that technique in the action.

ET: When did you decide to drop the slow motion entirely.

WS: The first time I saw what Ira and Nathan were doing. As a director, I was glad to dump the artificiality of slow motion.

ET: Your original release date was in June. That was pushed back to Thanksgiving weekend. Why was that?

WS: When we decided to rework the action sequences, the June release went out the window. We have some incredible tech people, but this was new and it took time. Fortunately, we acquired some new backing, which allowed us more flexibility. For a while, we considered releasing at Labor Day, but we liked the results enough to shoot a major roll out at the holidays.

ET: That certainly worked out. Congratulations.

WS: Thanks.

P P A Northeast District Photographic Competition Results

Last Name First Name Title Score

...

Iglesias Juan Quinceanera 78

Immons Justin Beef Wellington 83

Immons Justin GTO 79

Immons Justin Swan Seat 93

Immons Justin Wedding Night 97

Ingalls Ronald Poe's Raven 84

...

Academy Award Nominations—Film Editing

Fitty Cent Hustle - Jay Struthers and Alvin Baum

Captain Phil - Christopher Rice

Buyers Club - John Murphy and Martina Pesalo

Hard Time - Ira Irwin, Nathan Aldermann and Sheila Schwartz-Richards

Mission of Gravity - Kerin Alfonso, Marco Carón and Mark Singer

Entertainment Tonight—March 20, Fortney Donelson reporting

ET: Now arriving is Francine Martel, accompanied by model Jason Porter. Miss Martel, this is your first time attending the Oscar presentations. What makes this year special?

Francine Martel: This time I hope to get up on stage.

ET: I was not aware you were nominated.

FM: I'm not. Sheila, that's Sheila Schwartz-Richards, is up for film editing. She delivered a baby girl three weeks ago and did not want to travel.

ET: You don't look far from delivering yourself.

FM: Are you hoping for a scene from a Judith Krantz novel?

ET: Now that you mention it...

FM: [laughing] I guess I asked for that. I still have four weeks to go. Still, it would be good publicity.

ET: Is this the same Sheila Schwartz-Richards that was in the video?

FM: Not only in the video, she also did the editing. If you wanted to know how we got such good results from a security camera, Sheila is why.

ET: Wait. That video was from security tape?

FM: [laughing] I just told you she was up for an Oscar in film editing. That was an example of Sheila's quick and simple work. What she did for Will Smith is anther level.

ET: Will Smith? Did she have anything to do...

FM: ...with the new technique? Yep. In your interview, he referred to her as the "digital arts consultant in New Jersey", though she was actually in Hawaii, on her honeymoon.

ET: Amazing. Well, good luck and congratulations for your soon to be baby.

FM: It's a boy. I plan to name him James Isaiah.

ET: Again, best wishes.

Dartmouth University -- Degrees Granted

Graduate Studies

Siobhan A. Richards Doctor of Philosophy -- Sociology Summa Cum Laude

Evaine K. Schaeffelker Doctor of Philosophy -- Anthropology Cum Laude

July 31^st edition—Concord Monitor

Ground Breaking for New Cultural Outreach Center

Mayor Thomas Chesterfield moved the ceremonial first shovel of dirt for the Beacon Light Culture Center near Manchester. The Center will assist persons of other cultures in acclimating to life in the United States. Original funding came from a number of private donors and foundations. The Center will be operated in conjunction with Dartmouth University's Department of Social Science and the State of New Hampshire.

Services include translation to and from English, English as a second language and citizenship classes, job placement, email and physical mail, legal services, and referrals for medical and social services. Spokesperson Evaine Schaeffelker explained that the Center anticipates assisting a variety of cultural background, from around the world, but also from within the United States, such as native Americans, Amish and isolated rural communities. "One of the reasons we wanted the Center outside the city", said Schaeffelker, "is that moving rural to urban is a major cultural adjustment. We can provide a way station on that journey. It is also a good place for non-urban employers to find qualified workers."

August 21st edition—Central New Jersey Beacon

Local Girl Wins Gymnastics Competition

Cindy Richards, age 10, placed first in her age group and first overall in the Northeast Regional 14 and Under Gymnastics Championship. Miss Richards set a competition record for points scored in the Individual All Around competition. She also places first in Floor Exercise, Beam and Vault. She finished third in Uneven Bars. When asked how she felt about her performance in the bars, Miss Richards said, "It's hard to reach sometimes. I am too short for some of the moves, so my difficulty level suffers. I want to get bigger, but Mom says I am growing too fast now."

November 8th edition—Central New Jersey Beacon

Richards-Gunter Elected Representative for New Hampshire 2nd Congressional District

Dr. Siobhan Richards-Gunter, PhD, onetime resident and brother of local businessman Sean Richards (Richards Enterprises), was elected to Congress in New Hampshire's 2^nd District. Prior to her election, Mrs. Richards-Gunter served as alderman for the city of Nashua, executive director of The Richards Foundation, and as a board member of the Beacon Light Foundation, Richards Enterprises and Nashua Chamber of Commerce.

August 31 ESPN—Barry Fleming reporting

ESPN: Cindy, Congratulations. This makes four Gold Medals. That's a record for an American Gymnast. How do you feel.

Cindy Richards: It's great, but the Team Gold is the one that really matters.

ESPN: The individual Gold Medal in the All Around is the 6th since Marry Lou Retton in 1984. Did you ever meet her.

CR: I did. Several Gold Medalists came to a dinner for the team back in March. Mary Lou, Shannon Miller. Carly Patterson and Gabby Douglas all talked to me. It was a bit intimidating.

ESPN: How so.

CM: Mary Lou had to back up 10s on the vault to win the All Around. I only needed a 9.875 for the two vaults. Easy peasy.

ESPN: [laughing] Only you could say that. The judges at this Olympics gave three 10s on Floor Exercise. Once in Team, once in Individual All Around and in Floor Exercise event. You received all three. What do you say to that?

CR: All of them? I didn't know that. Wow. I love Floor Exercise, but I have breakfast with the impossible standard every morning. It keeps me sharp.

ESPN: What do you mean?

CR: Reporters talk about my fluidity and grace. They have never been on a practice floor with my mother. She studied ballet and did The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center when she was two years younger than I am now

ESPN: Since You mention your age, is that why you are retiring? You are second youngest on the team and only months removed from being too young to be eligible.

CR: Indirectly. I get tall and full breasted from both sides of the family. I have been dealing with the effects for months. It's no coincidence that Parallel Bars were the one event I did not medal. Five years ago I was complaining about being too short. Now I'm too tall.

ESPN: You mention your mother. At these Olympics you were accompanied by your father and former Broadway star Francine Martel. Miss Martel looks the part of the gymnast.

CR: Aunt Franny is another of my impossible standards. She does naturally what most gymnasts practice for competition. Having her watch you from the back of a chair is unnerving.

ESPN: That doesn't sound too bad.

CR: You're thinking of a row of arena chairs, which are bolted to the floor. Try thinking of a wooden chair, just sitting on the floor. Don't tell me it would fall over. I know that. I have also seen her do it for a stretch of almost twenty minutes. It was the longest I ever saw her sit still.

ESPN: So, now what?

CR: Now I focus on school. I have another impossible standard from Dad's side. Aunt Jo has two PhDs: Magna cum Laude from Yale and Summa cum Laude from Dartmouth. I have an uncle in California that is just as bad, but he never piled on degrees.

ESPN: Best of luck with your studies and congratulations on your record medal haul.

CR: Thanks. I'll need it.

May 31st edition—Central New Jersey Beacon

Richards Gives Commencement Speech

Cindy Richards, Northeast high school valedictorian, gave a commencement address titled "After the Gold." Richards won Olympic Gymnastics Gold Medals in Team and Individual All Around, Floor Exercise and Vault, as well as a Silver Medal in Beam. Five total medals and four Gold Medals are US records for gymnastics. Miss Richards finished with a perfect 4.00 grade point average. She has been accepted to Yale's premed program.

Academy Award—Best Picture

The Gold Standard—Francine Martel Producer

"I'd like to thank the Academy, my Director Angela Bernard—you had your chance on stage Angie. It's my turn now—my script team, Clint and Will Jefferson. Clara and Gina were brilliant in their roles. It would not have worked if they did not understand what we were trying to say. That message is important.

A lot of people think this was my story. It was, sort of, but not really. This movie is about setting the example. The name of the picture says it all. In Hollywood, names are important. In high school I had to read a Steinbeck called "Champion Stock."The story is about a boy, his horse and his father. The name refers to all three. Gold Standard is about a person few of you will ever meet.

I have a French name, which has served me well, both here and on Broadway. Her name was common as dirt, which is how I treated her when I first laid eyes on her skinny ten year old frame. Even then she was as tall as I am. You've seen her dance with me in videos, while wearing that impossible Irish wedding dress. She has three of these statues sitting in her library. I was the one that collected all three, so she could avoid the crowds.

I convinced her to come tonight, because she was not up for an award this year. I say without joking that I had to be up Best Picture to get her out of her house. She would not have come for anything less. I had to win Best Picture to get up here and say this. Ladies and Gentlemen, my personal gold standard, Sheila Schwartz-Richards."