Keep Me Safe Ch. 03

Ryan stirred in his sleep, he was cold. His eyes snapped open when he realised his bed was empty. He was cold because Miles was gone from his bed. The room had a lightly orange tinge to it as the early morning sun rose. He couldn't see Miles anywhere and there was no note or anything.

It wasn't until he stopped moving that the sound of water reached his ears. The door to the bathroom was unlocked and the sound of the shower filled his ears. The idea of him sneaking and and kissing Miles caused all the blood in his body to rush south but what he found killed his arousal immediately.

"HOLY SHIT!" Ryan screamed pulling Miles out of the bathroom. The water had long turned cold but Miles just sat there scrubbing his body with a wash cloth. Miles' skin had nasty raw patches from where he had scrubbed the skin away and was shivering violently.

"Miles what did you do?" Ryan ask, worried about Miles' behaviour. Miles just sat there not responding, his teeth chattering as his body shuddered. Ryan grabbed a bottle of baby oil and began rubbing it onto Miles' skin to trap the moisture and sooth where his skin was raw.

Miles just sat there shaking as Ryan gently dried him, trying not to irritate his skin more. Ryan had only saw this once before and it was the first night after Miles had moved into his house.

"Shhh I'm here, everything's ok now." He cooed as he wrapped Miles in his quilt. When Miles started to softly cry, he was relived. Ryan placed Miles between his legs on the bed holding him as he cried, murmuring that everything will be ok and that he was there for him to sleep. It wasn't long before fell asleep Miles and soon after he drifted off, Ryan followed him.

~#~

Miles sat in the quiet canteen before it was to get busy with both his diaries out in front off him. He was obsessed with his last entry.

'Does he love me?'

It was a question that had been running through his head all morning. He had felt so safe, so right, when he was in Ryan's arms that he didn't care about weather or not Ryan returned that love. But Ryan chased away the darkness that sat in the back of his mind. The same darkness that had made jumping out of the hospital window so very appealing. The same darkness that engulfed him in his dreams. Miles had felt sick with fear the moment he was in Ryan's arms at the hospital. It wasn't just down to his father's return but what he had almost done.

The sound of his phone vibrating against the table broke Miles' train of thought. Tapping the screen a little picture of Ryan came up with the message.

'Where are you?'

'Breakfast.' Miles sent back. A minute later another message came through telling him he was on his way. Miles just sat there looking at the cold bacon on his plate wondering if he should say anything. The sound of the doors opening caught his attention.

Ryan waved to Miles from the other side of the large room as he got his breakfast. Miles gave Ryan a confused look when he brought over a second tray of food and placed it in front of Miles.

"I've already had breakfast." Miles said just as his stomach growled so loud that people over at the next table looked over in their direction causing Miles to sink into his seat.

"If you count that mangled piece of bacon as breakfast you need to take it back and get a refund." Ryan joked. Miles smiled for the first time that morning and began tucking into the food Ryan had brought over. Leaving an awkward tension between the two of them.

"Miles can I ask you something?" Ryan said giving Miles a serious look. Miles swallowed the mouth full of food and nodded, scared of what Ryan was going to ask. "How angry are you with me?"

"What do you mean? Why would I be angry?" Miles asked, not expecting that question. When Ryan nodded towards his diaries, Miles understood what Ryan meant. "Oh. Ryan you didn't make me angry, you hurt me, really hurt me." Miles paused to let this sink in. Ryan just look at his food, he couldn't face looking at Miles as he spoke.

"Now that I know what you were doing I can see why you acted the way you did and you were wrong to do that to me, but If you had just been you I would never have met him. Ryan I was with him because I needed a friend, because you hurt me I was nearly...."

Ryan's head was still hung and was overwhelmed with guilt as Miles spoke, his voice full of pain but when he stopped mid sentence Ryan finally looked up at him. Miles' eyes were wide with a deer in the headlights look and all the colour had drained from his face. It took Ryan a second to realise Miles wasn't looking at him but just over his shoulder.

"Miles?" Ryan asked with know idea why Miles was looking into the crowd of people at the counters. When Miles didn't respond in the slightest, Ryan said his name again with a shaper tone causing him to snap his attention back to Ryan. When Miles finally looked back at Ryan, he could see the fear written across Miles' face before his eyes snapped back to the crowd.

"Can we go?" Miles asked not even waiting for an answer before he started to move, never looking away from the mass of people on the other side of the room.

"Why?" Ryan asked confused at Miles' behaviour.

"Because he's here." Miles stated as if that was the answer to all the questions Ryan could ask.

"HEY ICE PRINCE WANT SOME OF THIS!" A voice shouted from the other side of the room. Ryan suddenly understood Miles' behaviour. In the seconds it took Ryan to turn towards the voice then back to Miles, Miles had ran through the doors to the outdoor seating and was running furiously towards their room.

Ryan was used to running but Miles was fast when he needed to be and now was one of those times. Miles had just opened their door when he got there. Both of them were breathing heavily as they entered the room and locked the door. Ryan sat on his bed and pulled Miles onto his lap holding him tight and gently rocking back and forth. His hand was over his heart and Ryan could feel Miles' pulse begin to steady from the furious beating.

After a few minutes Ryan noticed Miles had drifted of to sleep. Brushing Miles' hair gently off his face, Ryan smiled.

"I'm a coward Miles, I'm such a coward." He said gently running his fingers through Miles' long hair. "I'm here for you even if you stop loving me, I'll always be here. I love you." He whispered to the sleeping boy who as he stirred in his sleep.