Keep Rolling

"Hey, did you..."

"There!" Interrupting me, pointing the bedside where my phone lies without looking at me or looking at where his finger points.

I smiled at him and grabbed my BlackBerry. My face crumpled as I saw something on the screen.

30 text messages, 5 miss call and 8 Facebook notification.

I decided to open the inbox.

Raymond: Get well soon!

Laurence: wer r u?

Laurence: u nid 2 stay upl8 der? ok.txt me f u r going hme 2 pck u up.

John, Hannah, Nicole, Ricky, Brian, Des and Lyka: get well soon! we are so worried!

I scrolled up and I can't keep myself to laugh out loud.

Me: Sorry guys but I'm sick and I need to stay here on my bed. Just tell to sir Thomas that I don't feel good today.

Sent to: John, Hannah, Nicole, Ricky, Brian, Des, Raymond and Lyka.

I went to the conversation box between Laurence and I.

Me: I need to work overtime tonight. Maybe I'll come home tomorrow morning.

Sent to Laurence

I sway my sight to him as he glaring at me.

"Did you know that your employee including me and Laurence knew each other that we see each other. Every other day?" I smiled at him because of his lame lying abilities.

"Which is?"

"Probably they'll go to our house later to visit me, which is at that time, Laurence will find out that that all of what you said is just lies." I explained to him as I stood up and grabbed my phone.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Oh, its 5 in the morning. I need to leave before everyone noticed what really happened."

"Let me drive you.."

"No, I'm ok. I'll kill some times on the park before going home. I don't want to go home until he leaves the house for work." I interrupted him. "And also I'll pick my pants tomorrow."

He stood up and pulled out a bill on his wallet. My eyes is wide open when I saw his hand with couple of folded hundred dollars bill giving to me.

"Go buy something." He told me while his eyes avoiding my gaze.

I pulled out the single hundred dollar bill and waved my goodbye to me.

"Thanks for the company! But it doesn't mean that I already forgave you, fucker."

***

"That's why you didn't came home last night." I saw Laurence in the corner of my eyes narrowed. I can see him raging because of Thomas' doings.

"Nah its ok." I shrugged, wearing my creepy smile the formed after I left Thomas until now.

"Puta, pagkatapos ka niyang takutin eh nagagawa mo pang ngumiti? (Fuck, after he scare you, you still manage to smile.)" Marking his voice as surprised.

We're watching a rerun of Resident Evil 5 on HBO when I told him the truth, that I didn't worked overtime but I passed out because of his 'joke'.

"Wow, I thought no speaking in other language but English?" I looked at him then rolled my eyes. "But I think he's a nice guy. "Such a manly figure. He's the ideal man I'm longing for. But I think he's straight" I pouted my lips. I stood up and went on the whole body sized mirror.

5 feet and and 8 inch, an overweight ugly guy with fats on my belly, a face that no one admires with fatty lips and a semi-squinted eyes just like a typical Asian's eyes, short and clean cut hair, thin moustache and couple of hair strands appears as my goatee and a flat big nose.

"And I don't think someone wants me because I'm.."

"What is your motto?" He threw a single popcorn at me.

"Appearance doesn't matter, attitude and personality does." I finished it and went back to the couch.

"So, you're a nice guy. And its already proven. You can please everyone without forcing yourself just to be 'in' the society, and to those you can't, well they're just blind shithead." Munching his popcorn while focusing on the Resident Evil 5 scene where Alice and Aida walking down the suburb of crowded traffic of New York.

"Wow! Really? Hell, I failed to please my..." I cocked my head towards him when he smashed flat the popcorn on my forehead.

"Its not me." He smashed the food again twice where he hit me. "Its not your new friends." He dunked his hand on the bowl to pick another one. "Its them." I squeezed my eyes shut when I heard he chomped the popcorn down on his mouth grinding it with his teeth.

I opened my eyes and saw him that his are straightened back to the screen.

I opened my mouth when he interrupted me again. "Don't lose hope, uglyhead. Remember, there's a guy who loves you for what you are and who you are. You'll found a new friends that will listen and believe to you. Maybe a new family. Pun intended."

***

"Jerry!!" Lyka hugged me tightly when he saw me walking down the hallway.

"Are you ok now?" Nicole asked me as she hugged me.

"Oh my God! We we're so worried about you!" Hannah hugged me too behind my back.

"I was planning to go to your funeral if you don't have any intention to show your sexy body around here." Des grinned at me cockily. Everyone losen their arm at me and faced her.

"Des!" Everyone gasp at her at a same time.

"I was just kidding!" She defender herself.

"I was gone for just three days and you missed me already?" I narrowed my eyes on them.

"F.Y.I. Its not us also, there's someone who misses you more than we did." Brian suddenly appeared at my side.

I saw them grinning at me. Something weird happening when I was gone. "Who?"

"Oh my God! Jerry got a boyfriend! Jerry got a boyfriend! Who's your boyfriend? Is he hotter than me" Raymond made his entrance, teasing me in a singy voice and winked at.

"You are gay?" We turned our head to the guy stand outside our sensor. Thomas.

"Oh, yes! I'm a fag, queer, cocksucker, gay, homo, sissy, name it! Do you have any problem, boss?" I said in a high pitch voice.

He glared at me making me shrink in front of the people who surrounds me.

"Go to your workstations. NOW." He commanded us with his firm and powerful voice.

"K dot." I muttered under my breath.

After he left, they bugged me with their question. "I thought you already quitted?"

I shrugged at them. "I need money! I'm fucking broke!" I said before leave them behind.

We resumed our everyday routine here in work until our breaktime come. I was busy making up on the work I missed for three days when they headed out to go eat on the cafeteria. I dismissed them by shooing them when they invited me to join at them.

They promised me to return as soon as possible. As laziness slowly covering me, I stood up and started to relax my muscles from walking all over the place I didn't able to discover.

I saw someone went up to the ladder on the secluded area of the building, far from the workstations. I followed him and we reached the rooftop. I tried to stiff my gasp as my legs went weak because of the exhaustion at climbing the steel ladder. And to my surprise how cool the wind breeze here.

I can barely hear the traffic on the rooftop surrounded us by the skyscrapers. I still tried to keep myself out of his sight as he sat down on the far corner. Grabbing his pack of cigarettes from his suit. He fished his hand in the pocket of his slacks and lit his cigeratte.

I watched him exhaling smoke as my admiration onto him ignite.

Then suddenly, his broad shoulder shook. He closed his eyes and put his arms over his eyes, rubbing it. My heart beat fast as I saw him.

'Is he crying' I thought to myself.

I don't know but I hate someone crying on someone or something.

I slowly walked behind his back. Maybe he felt someone on his back and slowly turned to me. Our eyes met.

'I knew it! He was crying' I said to myself.

His eyes is gazing, like searching for my inner soul. Tears streaking down on his cheeks, I noticed that his sleeve of his long suit damped with his tears.

I pulled out my hand towel in the back of my pants and gave it to him. "Don't worry, I haven't used it." I offered it to him.

He grabbed it gently and wiped over and arround his eyes.

"Why are you here?" He said softly, asking me.

"Why are you crying?" My stubborn self is seering out of me.

"Its none of your business." He snapped at me.

"Well, it is. As long it concerned about you that affects your employee, us and you." I nipped at my own lips. I'm becoming nosy too much.

He stood up at me and felt my height shrinks slowly. My senses didn't work properly such my reactions, sight, hearing, and analyzing the situation.

I shrugged it off, turning my back on him. Walked away but I stopped in the middle. "I know its none of my goddamn business but you need to keep that fucking problem of yours to keep yourself that affects everyone surrounds you." I spoke to him before leaving him behind.

***

"Slim shady! Please stand up!" Des beamed at us on the door where our friends and I started to pack up my things before we head to the bar that Laurence talking about. Its payday today and I want to threat my new friends for being nice to me.

"I am the real slim shady!" Brian stood up, grabbing her stuff on the working table.

"I am!" Raymond entered the room with all proud, his head is shaved and waxed and shining.

"So, since slim shady shaved his hair off his head? I was thinking that you're PitBull." I dismissed at him and everyone crack into laughter.

"So, did you convinced your prince to kiss your frog form?" Raymond threw back the embarassment he had at me.

I heard everyone said 'ooohhh' and laughed harder.

"Jerry, don't worry. We have a bunch of aloe in my home." Ricky said as he kept his face serious.

Hannah gave me her disposable cup she used drinking her coffee earlier and winked at me. "Go fetch some cold water and apply it to the burnt area."

"Third degree burn!!" They almost shout in unison as I blush because of embarassment.

I violently put my finger on my and hissed at them gesturing quiet. "Shut up guys! And let's go. Its getting late. Maybe Laurence is waiting there for us."

We grabbed our back and headed to John's black Ford Escalade and Des' pink Hyundai Sonata. We took our respective seat and drove off to the Padis Point bar and resto. We took a half hour before arriving on the said establishment.

We parked our car on the parking lot in front of Padis and jumped out and walked in. The place is getting crowded, I sighed in reliefe when I my eyes hit someone waving on us. Laurence.

We headed on the reserved round table and sat down. Laurence on my left side, John on my right side following Lyka, Des, Raymond, Brian, Ricky, John, Hannah and Nicole.

The beer tower is already in the middle of our table together with ash trays and chicken wings. I explore my eyes around us. There's a streamer above the mini stage. It says 'Thank you for guessing, "Binny"'. There's also a musical instruments displayed there. We're in the second front row near the stage.

"Thank you for inviting us." Raymond started.

"Thank you for keeping his company." Laurence replied, I looked at him and grinning at him.

"I smell something here!" John said and he grabbed a chicken wings with his two fingers.

I lift my arm and sniffed at my armpit. Since my sweat glands is active, I almost did everything just to get rid of my body odor. "I do not have a body odor, anymore." I said to him while wrinkling my nose at him.

Laurence stared at me, his is eyes is full of concern before looking back to them. "Tell me what do you have in mind." He relaxed his back on the chair as he put his both hands behind his head.

"I don't know but its something about him." John said why biting down his food.

"Tell me, Jerry!" Lyka screamed at me excitedly.

"Is it about being a sucidal person?" Hannah continued her after getting herself a cup that stacked beside the beer dispenser.

"Do you have a mental problem and you can't keep yourself from hurting other when you were alone?" Ricky grabbed a stick of Marlboro Black before setting it carefully on the table.

"You stole everything you see?" Brian asked me too after grabbing her lighter at her purse.

"You keep crying everytime you were alone?" John grabbed the lighter and the cigeratte stick and lit it up.

"Vandalism?" Des waved violently at the smoke surrounds her.

"Attempted murder?" Lyka gasp after she gulp down the beer on her cup.

"Who do you think will win?" I asked Raymond as I grabbed the pack of cigarette and picked mine.

"Uhm, this is you guys when you're each other?" He asked us with amazement on his eyes.

"The typical us!" I said happily and proud. "So who do you think will win?"

"Ok, let's make a bet!" I declare before litting up my cigarette.

John attempt to open his mouth but we interrupted by guy on the stage as he spoke.

"Good evening everyone!" He shouted and everyback did back. "I'll make it short. Give a loud cheer to Binny!" Everyone cheered as the band come out at the backstage and started to play 'Give it All' by Rise Againts.

We are having a good time as they also played 'American Idiot' by Greenday, 'I'm not okay' by My Chemical Romance and 'Glory of Love' by New Found Glory.

As the band played song, I excused myself to piss at the toilet. I went right away and quickly did my business. As I go back where my friends are still busy watching the band, I decided to buy myself something on the counter but froze when I saw someone I recognize.

Thomas Franks. Again.

I saw him sitting on the stool, with a couple of bottle of beers in front of him that I assumed is empty. I also noticed that he's alone. 'Maybe he's winding up after an exhausting activities at his business'. I thought to myself. He slowly turned his back towards the stage behind my back. I don't know but I don't him to see me. That's why I turned my back and walked away fastly.

I decided that I don't something anyway and go back to the table.

After the band finished playing 'Last Resort' by Papa Roach, they took a break. I grabbed the opportunity to ask my coworkers about him.

"Hey, I saw that evilhead our boss on the counter. I think he's alone." I started while I took where I sit.

"What do you mean?" Lyka asked, resting her head on Lyka's shoulder.

"Before I answer that, Raymond. Control yourself! You're driving. Remember?" The thought suddenly popped on my head as I saw Lyka.

"I know. Des and I are not light weight, unlike her." He explained, nodding towards Lyka.

"So let's get back to your concern." Ricky asked as he continue to deplete our chicken wings.

"You said you saw sir Thomas." John stated.

"Here?" Hannah asked.

"In the counter?" Brian followed.

"Yeah. And I think he's alone." I replied to them while glancing back at the counter.

"Maybe he is looking some slut for a night one stand." Nicole responded to me.

I don't know but I flinched at what she said. I was going to defend and give an smart-ass joke when the band's break is over and started to play song again on stage.

***

"Alrighty then!!" I said while saying my goodbye to them. Its past 2 in the morning when we decided to go home.

Lyka, Nicole, Ricky, and Brian decided to crash on Raymond's place tonight since its our day off today. Same as Hannah, John, and Ricky are doing the same on Des' crib too.

Laurence told me that he'll need to some an errand at his work, later early morning so he'll spend tonight on his couch at his office room. I told him to get atleast a quick rest before he do his things but he forcedfully convinced me that he was fine. Since he was a light drinker, I thought to myself. Since I don't drive a car, not that I don't have one. But because I don't know how to drive a car, I decided to grab a cab.

I watched them as Nicole, Lyka, Ricky and Brian got into Raymond's car and drove off. Des pulled John, Ricky and Hannah into her car and drove off too.

"Are you sure?" He asked me as he insist me to take me home.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine." I said, leaning back againts his white Audi Q7 while dragging the smoke on my lungs. "And I want to walk down the busy streets for a while before going home."

"You're liking your new place, aren't you?" Grinning while leaning his back on the hood with his fist on his jacket.

"Yup! And my new company is better than I had before. Just saying." I tilt my head at him and smiled.

He smiled back without looking at me and stood up straight and patted my shoulder. "Fathead, its getting late now and I should be 5 minutes away from my destination but you're wasting my time."

"Sure. Don't speak, I'll do it for you." I stood back on his sight and speak loudly that the two of us will hear my voice.

"Fathead and shithead and faggothead, get out of my sight and my girl's sight." I rolled my eyes, pertaining to his car. He treated his car like his girlfriend.

He laughed joyous before stepping in the car.

He rolled down the both side of his both window car and yell at me.

"Thank you, Jerry. Remember, take care! Dun't be such a genius head." Before driving off.

And now I'm all alone, I decided to walk down the busy streets of the city before heading to home. Maybe buying some corndog or buying myself some frappes at StarBucks.

I was heading towards the busy streetlights when I someone bumps into me.

"Oops, I'm sorry." I apologized. "Asshole." I whisper to myself.

"Fuck, can you..." I gaped at the guy who bumped at me.

"What you doing here?" He asked me. There's a car coming towards us and the headlights illuminated his face.

I am hundred and one percent sure that he was crying. His face can't be painted, eyes are bloodshot red, deep dark color under his eyes, and streak of tears that ran down on his face.

The car passed us. "Have you been crying?" I ask, my voice is different that I didn't recognize it.

"Its none of your fucking business." He growled at me.

"Please tell me, I'm just concerned about you." I said. He turned his back on me but I grabbed his arm and turned him around.

"Will you leave me, can you?" He snapped as he jerked his body. I sensed that he was drunk too much that he can't use his brute force againts me.

"I'll leave you after I help you about your problem." I'm trying to calm his anger.

"You don't know me, you don't know my life. You don't know.." His voice cracked, his knees went weak and I hold him tightly before he kneel and broke down in front of me.

"Let's talk about it. Ok? Hold on. Let's call some cab." He just nodded at me. I grabbed his arm and pulled him as anywhere I go. My palms tickled as I realized that he's a furry guy. I can call him bear, but he's fat or stocky or anything.

I pulled my phone to my pocket and called a cab. While waiting where we stood, I can't keep myself glancing at him. His face is blank although I can read his expression. Sadness. My heart tight as like someone is squeezing it. Even though he's such a jerk for yelling me, humiliating in front of everyone, and scared the hell out of me until I pass out, I still feel pity for him.

After a few moments, cab arrived and we got inside quickly as I directed the driver the address. Few more minutes and we stopped in front of my apartment. I grabbed some bill and gave it to the driver, leaving my exchange behind as my tip.

I led Thomas to our unit. When we were inside, I asked to him take a seat and offered him a drink.

"You want drink something?" I asked him. Followed by "You can have any drinks except for an alcoholic one, which is we don't have." I joke just to ease up the tense that started to appear.

He didn't respond. Just staring to an empty space.

"Ok, sorry for my lame joke." I grabbed the thermos to pour some hot water on the two mugs I grabbed from the cup board.

"How do you please everybody?" He asked. Still on his own trance. I stared at him before going back to preparing ourselves some coffee.

"Well, I'm just showing my true me. Its up to them if they'll accept me for who I am and what I am. To those who I can't please, well I don't give damn." I respond, finishing stirring the mugs and gave it to him.