tagHumor & SatireKinky Uses for a Turkey Drumstick

Kinky Uses for a Turkey Drumstick

byImaFantasy©

This here was the first Thanksgivin' I's ever been all by my lonesome. No rug rats, none'a my ol' friends, nobody...jest me an' my two pussycats.

Ya see, a few days afore Thanksgivin' I was a talkin' with a man friend a mine, via the email, an' I made me a joke ta him 'bout big ol' turkey legs. I said I was a wonderin' if'n a turkey leg would fit...well, y'all know. I was jest'a funnin', don'tcha know?

Then that idea jest sorta got stuck in my head. It jest wouldn't go away. An' the more I thought 'bout it, the more I wondered an' wondered!!! Could it be done??? An' if'n it could, how'd ya go 'bout doin' it??? Well, no ways to find out without tryin...don'tcha know!

So, off ta the grocery store I go with me a shoppin' list. Well, truth be tol', twern't much of a list, jest a couple things on it. The first thing bein' the BIGGEST ol' turkey I could get my hands on, an' then a couple a my favorite kinds a liquor...jest ta "set the mood", don'tcha know!!

So, all finished with my shoppin' I take myself an' "Ferdinand" (I called him this 'cause he reminded me of a big ol' bull of a turkey) home.

Now, ol' Ferdy was frozen...hard as a rock. Which again, (sigh) got me ta thinkin' an a wonderin' (I gotta stop doin' that...thinkin' seems ta take me ta some awful weird places).

First things first tho! I worked myself inta a frazzle sawin' that damn frozed drumstick offa that there turkey. But, persistence has its rewards...don'tcha know! Got that sucker offa there an' after takin' a good look at it...I wern't too sure 'bout this idea a mine. Buuuut, me bein' me...

I gets myself, Ferdy, some olive oil (figured Ferdy, bein' a turkey, would prefer olive oil ta some exotic "lubricant"), an' a nice big cocktail inta the bedroom.

Now, I may be a redneck, but I ain't stupid...don'tcha know! I figured I'd have ta cover the bed with somethin' or I'd have ta clean up who knows what kinda mess. An' I jest happened ta have a big ol' plastic "drop cloth". Us redneck women are down rite handy...yes siree.

So, here we is...beds covered up jest fine, already had ta get me a refill on that "cocktail", Ferdy was still frozed hard as the North Poll, I was nakked as a jay bird, done greased me an' Ferdy up till we both was a slippin' an' a sliddin' all over that big ol' piece a plastic.

Now I figured I'd best try some "foreplay", jest ta set the mood...don'tcha know? So I'm sorta layin' there on the bed, a rubbin' my clit with one hand, an' a finger fuckin' my hairless pussy (ya see, I likes her shaved...don'tcha know) with tother, workin' me up a nice case wild barnyard horny. An' it didn' take me long either afore I had me a nice creamy, foam a cum worked up.

Seemed 'bout time ta put big ol' Ferdy ta work. So's I got me a good grip on the foot end a ol' Ferdy an' started a rubbin' an' a pushin' the big end up against my hot, soppin' pussy.

DAMN...who'da thought that freezin' cold would be such a turn-on? I was a needin' somethin' up inside a me real bad...NOW! But Ferdy was a big ol' boy an' I was havin' a hard time getting' him started ta where he needed ta be.

So I gets myself up onta my knees, an' I puts Ferdy 'twixt my legs, an' I braces him agin' the bed an' I start humpin' down on him. Now, I gotta tell ya, by this time I was so hot an' needy, an' me likin' a lil' pain with my fuckin' the way I do, I got carried away an' started rammin' my pussy down onta ol' Ferdy as hard as I could.

Ohhhh, did it hurt soooo good, 'twixt the freezin' cold an' the pain of a bein' streetched so much, I was already cummin' so much there was a puddle a half frozed cum on the bed. Looked like one a them there slushies.

Then all at once Ferdy got past me an' jest rammed hisself all the way home. Well, I let out a scream that'd a curled the hair on a hedge hog, an' I gushed so much cum that it spattered up on ta the wall.

Well, there I was, on my knees, Ferdy finally buried ta the ankle up inside my cold, achin' pussy, an' me flopped over so only my head, knees an' toes was a touchin' the bed. I jest couldn't move. So I sorta jest fell over onta my side, leavin' Ferdy where he was for a few minutes, till I could breathe again.

It took me awhile, it did. But I finally got me a second wind an' started movin' Ferdy around inside me. Lordy, that felt soooo weird but soooo good. Well, I laid on my back an' kept a movin' Ferdy in an' out, jest like a real big ol' cock, a fuckin' myself all over again. Now, it was somethin' else, him bein' so big an' all. But didn't take long afore I was cummin' again...an' again. Ain't sure how many times I cum all over ol' Ferdy afore I wore myself out.

I finally decided it was time ta let big ol' Ferdy get some rest, so I started ta pull him out. Ya know what...he didn't WANNA come out. Guess he liked it jest fine rite where he be. But I was a thinkin' I was startin' ta get a frost bit pussy, so I had ta get him outta me somehows. It took some doin', 'bout as hard ta get him out as it was ta get him in. But when I finally did get him outta me he was 'bout half unfrozed an' jest drippin' icy cum.

I jest left Ferdy layin' there on the bed, cum an' all, an' sloooooowly got myself up an' wobbled off for another "cocktail" an' a nice lil' rest.

Now while I was a restin' guess what? Yup...I got ta thinkin'. Wonderin' what it would feel like if'n Ferdy was all thawed out. Hmmmmm...the more I thought, the hotter I got, seems my pussy weren't so frost bit after all.

I decided ta check on Ferdy an' see what condition he was in. Ya know, he was almost completely thawed out. So, I figured by the time I took me a nice hot bath ol' Ferdy would be 'bout ready for another round a fuckin'. An' that's jest what I did. I took me a real nice, long, hot, bubbly bath.

After my bath, I got outta the tub, rapped myself in a big ol' warm, fuzzy towel an' headed ta the kitchen. By now I was tired a havin' ta worry 'bout them "cocktails" so I jest mixed up a big ol' batch in the blender, stuck me a straw in it an' figured that'd last me awhile. So I took it on back ta the bedroom. An' damn if'n Ferdy wern't rarin' ta go again. Hell...so was I!!!

Ferdy was still bastin' in all that cum, olive oil an' cold water, so he didn't need no preppin', an' all I needed was a few fingers up inside my cunt for a couple minutes an' I was more then ready ta see what Ferdy would feel like thawed.

By now, my pussy was used ta Ferdy's big ol' self an' we didn't have much trouble gettin' him where we wanted him ta be. Now I gotta tell y'all, what with all that skin on him a slidin' around, Ferdy was a feelin' a lot more like a big ol' fat cock, 'cept he was still kinda cold...but not too much. An' as hot as my pussy was, I figured he'd warm up rite fast, once we got humpin' hard an' fast. An' we sure did, an' he sure did too!!!

Now Ferdy was a FAT ol' boy, but he was also pretty long, comin' from a 27 lb. turkey like he did. An, me bein' me...I wanted ever last inch a him deep up inside my achin', needy pussy.

So I got myself up an' squatted over him, not on my knees like afore, but squattin' down with him a pressin' hard against my pussy jest like my Comanche grandma woulda done ta her man a long time ago. An' I began ta ridin' him, like he was a nice fat; long cock attached ta a big horny man.

My oh my! Let me tell y'all gals somthin', if'n ya ain't got a cock handy an' ya be needin' pleasurin', jest find ya a big ol' turkey leg...it'll fix ya rite up!

I don't know how long I rode ol' Ferdy, but my legs finally gave out on me an' I'd done cum so much it was a hurtin' ta cum anymore. An' lordy was I jest swimmin' in cum on that ol' piece a plastic. Damn good thing I thought'a it.

By now, it was pretty late in the evenin' an' I was gettin' down rite hungry. So I goes inta the kitchen ta find me somthin' ta eat. An' ya know what? I'd done forgot, I didn't have squat ta eat in the house, an' I'd forgot ta get food when I went ta the grocery, what with havin' a big ol' turkey leg on my mind. Well, I looked back inta the bedroom, an' there laid Ferdy, all basted in cum, nice an' warm an' thawed out, an' jest beggin' ta be cooked.

So...I jest popped that big ol' boy in the oven. 'Course, I left every bit a that cum on him...no since in a wastin' it...don'tcha know? I didn't feel up ta havin' ta be bastin' him anymore. Enough is enough...right?

I was down rite tired by now, so I took me a lil' nap. An' when I woke up an' looked in the oven there was Ferdy all cook up nice an' brown an' crispy. So, I pulls him outta the oven an' sets him atop the stove ta cool a bit. An' I sat back down an' fell asleep again...it'd been a long, hard day what with all that fuckin' an' all!

Wern't too long afore I woke up agin an' remembered Ferdy sittin' on the stove. So I go take a look at him. Well, he'd done cooled off a bit, but not too much, an' I got ta thinkin', AGAIN...don'tcha know!!!

Well hell...there I went agin, back ta the bedroom, up on the bed, sittin' back against the headboard, with my legs spread real wide, my pussy still wet, an' slick, an' gleamin' with all that cum, an' olive oil an' turkey grease all over it. An' I point Ferdy where we both need him ta be.

DAMNation...Ferdy was hotter then I was! An' bein' as how he was so crispy an' all...he felt real different. REAL DIFFERENT! But...oh hell, come on Ferdy, fuck Mama, fuck Mama hard. Ram yor big ol' self up in Mama's hot, needy cunt. That's it, make it hurt, make Mama moan, let Mama feel all that crispy skin a yor'n jest a scrapin' up inside her pussy. An' damn if'n that hot, scratchin' pain didn't make me cum a screamin' all over agin...an' agin...an' agin.

I don't know what time it was when I woke up, think I musta passed out or sumpin'. But I worked ol' Ferdy outta my poor, achin', tender pussy. Lordy, was I one tired, sore slut! A turkey slut...don'tcha know!!!

Well, wouldn't ya know, 'bout that time my dam door bell starts a ringin'...at that time a night too!!! So I got me up offin' that bed an' looked out an' there stood one a them ol' neighbor boys from down the road. So I open the door ta ask him in an' see what he was a needin'.

Awww hell, I was so worn out from a fuckin' Ferdy all day an' all evenin' that I plum forgot I was nakked. That boys jaw done dropped so far I think I heard it hit the floor. But shoot, there he was, an' there I was...nakked as all get out. I figured it was too late to worry 'bout it then...don'tch know.

Now he was a bigun', 'bout 6' 7" or so. Bigger'n most men round town, an' cute as an ol' hound pup too. So, I asks him in 'cause I pride myself on bein' neighborly an' all an' I couldn't turn him 'way...right???

Well, it seemed his Ma an' Pa had done gone off an' left him all alone by hisself, an' it bein' Thanksgivin' too. Now, I asks ya, what's a gal ta do? Hell, I jest tol' him ta come on in an' make hisself ta home...don'tcha know?

After he done closed his mouth an' stopped droolin' all over my floor, he parked hisself on the sofa an' I asked him if'n he'd like anything. Now that boy musta been REAL hungry, 'cause he was a lookin' at me like I was a plate fulla biscits an' gravy an' here he hadn't had a bit ta eat all day. Well, that made me remember how hungry I was, since I hadn't ate yet neither.

But hell, the only thing I had in the house was...naaaaaaaaa??? I couldn't do that...could I??? That would jest be wrong...right??? But what was I ta do??? Like I said, I pride myself on bein' neighborly. An' here he was a starvin', an' I was a starvin' an' there was Ferdy all cooked, cooled an' a waitin'.

So, I take myself inta the kitchen, grab a plate, rush ta the bedroom, throw Ferdy onta that there plate an' walk back inta the livin' room, nice an' slow, bein' a real "hostess" an' all...don'tcha know!!!

An'...I says ta him "All I got is this here big ol' cold turkey leg, but it's been tenderized an' basted real good all day long. Would ya wanna share some with me?"

Well...he says "I surely would love some a that there...ahhhhhhhhhhhh juicy, crispy turkey leg. Bein' as how I's heard what a awful good cook ya be an' all.

So, I set myself down aside him, still nakked, an' I tore off a big ol' piece a Ferdy, an' I leaned over close agin him an' I fed it to him, cum, olive oil an' all. Well, he started a squirmin' an' a moanin' an' a rollin' his eyes round an' a chewin' fit to be tied.

Then I asked him "how is it darlin'? Is it cooked a'rite?

Now, he was still a starin' at me with his eyes all a bugged out an' he swallowed that big ol' bite an' he said "yes'm, that there be the best tastin' turkey I ever had me. It be different, but ooooh me, it be DAMN good."

Well, he was a still a starin' at me all funny, so I got ta thinkin' maybe he be feelin' all embarrassed what with me bein' nakked an' him dressed an' all.

So I says to him, "why don'tcha take offin' yor clothes an' make yorself ta home like me." That makes sense...don' it???

That boy was off'a that sofa an' buck nakked afor I could even get me a taste a ol' Ferdy. And lordy, lordy, that boy was big an' long in more ways then one...don'tcha know!

Well, he jest plopped hisself back down, REAL close ta me an' leaned over an' said "would ya be up ta feedin' me till I'm real, real full...a everthin"!

An' I said "well sure darlin'??? I'll be happy ta fill ya up till ya be down rite worn out."

Then I started ta feedin' him an' me ol' Ferdy bit by bit till there wern't nothin' left but that looong ol' bone. An' DAMN...I gotta tell y'all Ferdy was the best damn turkey I'd ever tasted too!

Then that boy says ta me "Now that I'm fulla that wonderful ol' turkey, can I go on an' fill me up on somthin' else I be wantin?"

Well, there I was a sittin' there holdin' that big, ol' looong leg bone an' a wonderin' what else he could be a wantin'. I mean, I didn't have another bite a food in the house. But I wanted to be a good neighbor...rite???

So I says "Well sure, if'n ya can find yorself somthin' else ya want's ta eat darling', ya jest go ahead on an' make yorself ta home, jest fill yorself full."

An' ya know what that big ol' boy done???

Well, let's jest say I weren't a lackin' for no entertainment this here Thanksgivin'! An I'da never thunk that a cock could get so long an hard from havin' a mouth ful'a crushed ice round it!

An' I'll always be havin' me a big ol' frozed turkey leg in my freezer from now on...don'tcha know!!!

Happy Holidays Y'all!

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byImaFantasy© 2 comments/ 13907 views/ 1 favorites

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