La Petite Mort (The Little Death)

Ritchie was adamant, "Margaret this whole situation is ridiculous. I can't believe I let you lure me over here."

"We can make this work. Just stay the night with me."

"I don't think my significant other would appreciate..."

I interrupted him, "So, are you still seeing her on the side?"

"I don't see her on the side I see YOU on the side."

"Significant other?" I laughed a little, "Are you married or is she a lover? Do you live with her?"

The blue eyes that used to hold me captive now seemed ice cold. "You know enough about my personal life. And since I'm breaking this off, there is no need to give any details about her or our relationship."

"I was only asking because on numerous occasions you have mentioned thinking of me at night and masturbating. That doesn't seem plausible if you live with someone. If you sleep next to her but fantasize about me that means something."

"It means I have a healthy sex life. There's nothing wrong with fantasy and experimentation. That's what you don't seem to get. The reason I'm leaving you is because you won't try new things, BASIC things that most people do when they fuck. I can devour your body yet your lips..." His voice softened, "...your beautiful lips won't venture past my face."

I knew he was talking about anal sex. We had only been lovers since February but he had requested it several times. Maybe he had a right to know... maybe I should tell him my secret. "I had a dream about us and I think it was prophetic." When I looked over at Ritchie he appeared to be staring off into space. But he smiled when I began to blush.

He was interested. "What happened in this dream?"

"I umm, I performed fellatio, you know." When he laughed at my confession, I distanced myself. I settled on the couch next to the window and looked outside to avoid his stare. Ritchie followed and sat beside me.

"You mean you sucked my cock," He prodded. I laughed nervously, still avoiding his gaze. I had never talked explicitly with anyone, man or woman. Understandably I found the conversation slightly uncomfortable yet erotic. No matter what I was feeling at the moment, this honesty, though awkward, was necessary.

"Yes," came out as a whisper.

Ritchie scooted closer and reached for my hand. His voice was soothing, "So say it dirty."

I turned to face him contemplating his question.

"Tell me what you did in your dream." He let go of my fingers and rested his arm around my shoulder. "You sucked my cock,"

"I performed fellatio." I repeated. My eyes fell to my lap as shame washed over me. Then I noticed it. Ritchie was hard.

It was a contest of wills that needed to end. "Margaret?"

"I sucked... your cock." I said softly, shaking my head in disbelief. How could I utter such filth? I couldn't believe I just told him that. After all only bad girls did such things... and I was a good girl.

"Did you like it?"

My eyes were glued to the bulge in his jeans. Ritchie started unfastening them with his free hand, causing my vagina to betray me when his erection came into view. "Yes," I admitted, weakly as I watched it twitch.

"Show me how you sucked it." He was maneuvering me down to his lap, guiding me first by the shoulder then by my neck. "Its ok... I know its your first time." Ritchie's fingers tangled through my dark mane.

I was face to face with his one eyed devil. Captivated and disgusted at the same time. My mouth opened slightly but not enough to take him in totally. All I managed was a taste, like the first lick of an ice cream cone to gage the flavor. "I sucked your cock." I said it louder this time but the powerful statement still sounded pathetic.

"Show me Margaret." He encouraged.

There were reservations, "What if..."

"Just start off slow and easy." The tone in his voice was hypnotic, willing me to honor his request.

I tucked a leg under myself and pivoted around so that I was sideways. Once in position, I leaned over again and went down on him. This time I didn't stop at the tip, my mouth slid down to the base then pulled against the suction on the way up. Each time my head bobbed there was a new sensation on my tongue to take pleasure in. Ritchie's moaning told me that he liked it too. I savored the taste and texture of him and started to move my hand in pace with my mouth. That simple action prevented his short blond hairs from tickling my nose. Ritchie was sooo wet and that allowed me to move with ease over him.

"You're so naughty," He teased, moving the hair from my face. "My naughty girl."

I had been gently massaging his balls, but took a break from my sucking to stimulate them orally. He groaned when the cool air hit his cock which appeared rosy against his fair skin. I teased him with my tongue then gently brought his sack into my mouth. It was a move I had apprehensively made in my dream. After a few moments I made my way back to his erection kissing it then swirling my tongue around the tip before plunging down the veins and ridges. The taste of his pre cum in the back of my throat soaked my already damp panties. But as he neared climax he lost control and began pumping himself up into my mouth. All I could do was try to stay soft for him, a relaxed hole with no teeth. My lips stayed open as he pumped deep building friction. I felt the back of my dress rise and my panties bunch to the side. Ritchie had found my wetness and was exploring it with his fingers. It was hard concentrate now. I found myself grinding down on his hand guiding his attention to my clit. But he was interested in other things. His hand, slick with my juices, began to retract. He was still rubbing me, rubbing my behind when he spread my cheeks. I was open... exposed... and secretly intrigued. What was he up to? And then I felt it. Ritchie was working a finger into my ass. Oh my god it felt so damn good, but it was wrong. I gagged while crying out, "Ahhhh... no no no." The words were muffled by my mouth full of cock. Just a garbled plea for him to stop. "No no no no no" I was saying to myself in my head. Telling myself, 'No, you aren't supposed to like this feeling'. I was physically and mentally a mess and Ritchie was loving it.

"Mmmm..." We were both moaning uncontrollably. Ritchie, from the oral sex and me from the anal. Thank God he relented.

I will reluctantly admit that he proved his point. Variety in sex is pleasing. Suddenly I was overcome with emotion. I braced my hand on his stomach attempting to stop him from moving in my mouth. If he was leaving, then this wasn't the way I wanted him to remember me. Swollen red lips and cum dripping from my chin. I was in way over my head, "Ritchie..." I looked up at him teary eyed hoping he wouldn't be too mad that he didn't cum. I had been willing to continue before he decided to get freaky with the finger in my ass. But then, what I considered freaky, he considered the norm, and that's where we differed. That's why we were splitting up.

He must have sensed that this was a bit too much for me. "I knew you wouldn't be able to do it, and that's ok. Margaret, I don't want you to be something your not." He stood up and fastened his jeans even though he was still hard. I imagine it must have been uncomfortable. "What we had was good and part of what I liked was how innocent you are. But the novelty has worn off and she..."

The issue always came back around to her. "Do you love her?"

"Yes." He said plainly.

"Do you love me?"

"You know how I feel about you." His answer was evasive as usual.

My voice was broken, "All I know is that you're leaving me."

"And you also know why."

"I was a virgin before we met." I reasoned, "I allowed you to take my virginity and now you're acting like it meant nothing."

"That's not how it happened and you know it. I gave you ample opportunities to grow sexually. Once you gain more experience you will realize that no one likes fucking missionary."

"That's not fair Ritchie... I've done everything you've asked. And I just... I just sucked... it."

"I don't want to have to ask for it. I always initiate the sex. It's like you have no drive... no desires of your own. All I get is compliance and that's not a turn on. This meeting was a bad idea. I think I'm going to go." He headed for the door but I rushed over and blocked it.

"Please don't." There was so much desperation in my voice.

"You're delusional Margaret. I am no good for you, can't you see that?"

"When we first met you were everything to me. So learned and handsome... you had this great sense of humor and a great laugh. You even loved literature as much as I do." I shook my head as the memories flooded back, "You represented this grand idea." I admitted softly. "And that sweet little smile... so... mischievous..."

"Margaret, I look at you and see this beautiful girl that I don't want to do without," His words made me smile for a moment as I dabbed away my tears. Ritchie's eyes were slightly red too. "But as the experienced one here, I have to think about what's best not just for me but for you."

I tried to control my tears to no avail. Since I didn't want him to see me crying so it was time to say goodbye. I held onto the knob for a moment then opened the door. He reached past me and shut it. Ritchie firmly cupped my face and pinned my body to the door. We were trembling as we held each other. I expected him to stop me from unbuttoning his shirt but he just looked into my face. Ritchie saw the tears on my cheeks and kissed them away before playfully gnawing my lips.

The only thing I could think of at the moment was that this would be the last time I would smell his scent so I closed my eyes inhaled deeply. I kissed his chest tenderly and felt my dress rising above my hips. He kneeled and looked at my lower body as if he had never seen it before and welcoming sight of skin with feather light kisses. He nibbled at my thighs then pulled off my pink cotton bikini's. I saw him stuff them in his pocket. What on earth was he planning on doing with them? I put it out of my mind when he hungrily kissed in between my legs.

(I was reminded of a time a couple of months ago when he was playing with me in my sleep. He thinks he's slick and likes to come upon me tired and lazy so he can do 'things' to me. I have always been resistant to the notion of oral sex, until today that is. Ritchie doesn't know this but once when he thought I was asleep and was playing with my limp body, he gave me a little slice of heaven. When I felt my gown rise above my tummy I didn't move, knowing that he loves the feel of my silky skin against his as we sleep. But this time was different... there was warm air blowing on me down below. His warm breath, and then moisture. The flat of his tongue sliding against my pink center. It was the softest thing I have ever known, softer then my puppy, softer then a baby's skin or cashmere. I decided not to move one muscle and stayed perfectly still as he tasted me. Common sense would have told me to open my legs or acknowledge him. But I didn't. I was unwilling. He used his tongue purposefully, drawing a deep line through me. My breathing, once steady but now jagged told him that I was awake so he stopped. Why did he stop?)

I could smell my wetness and knew it was driving him crazy. I had creamed my panties while sucking his cock. Ritchie tasted me then made his way back up to my neck and bit me softly. I was devastated when he backed away. "Margaret we shouldn't..." He sounded out of breath as he fought with himself on what was right and wrong.

"Please," I begged as I tugged down his jeans, "Please Ritchie." My soft begging was all he needed to hear. Ritchie pinned my back against the door and held my left leg up as he entered me.

We stared at one another until I let out a loud sigh. "Do you feel that?"

"What?"

"The perfect fit." My words came hurriedly, "Since you are the only man I have ever been with, my insides are custom fit to your cock."

"Your tight little puss..." He liked the sound of that, "...is my chocolate treat."

"That's right..." I breathed out with each thrust, "It... It belongs to you. All of my future lovers will be trying to fit your mold."

He felt me starting to get weak and scooped his hands under my hips for more leverage. I wrapped my legs around him as I felt him thrust inside again, this time so deep that it made me gasp. "For a while I was torn too. I thought you were bad for me and I wanted to break things off. But now I know that we were brought together for a reason. You are not just good for me, we are good for each other." I paused for a moment when he started hitting my spot. "I will always be your girl... Ritchie..." He was breaking me down. Only breathless moaning followed. Who knew that sex outside of a bed could be so good?

I closed my eyes and held onto his head which was resting on my shoulder as he caught a steady rhythm on my clit and fucked me against the door. I was filled with so many emotions because he was leaving and from the ecstasy he was giving me. Ritchie exploded inside my body causing me to do the same. Le petit mort, the little death.

We slid to the floor in a state of uncertainty. Now that we had settled the question of whether he was good for me or not, would he still leave?