Lady Hideaway Ch. 06

Her back was covered in angry red scars, all thin lines. They weren’t entirely bad, in fact, some were not so noticeable. He was more in shock over the idea that someone had actually whipped her. The entire idea disgusted and upset him to no end.

Conner stepped into the room, making enough noise with his feet to let her know that he was there. She jumped when she heard him and her shoulders started to shake as she crossed her arms over her chest and lowered her head, but she would not look back at him.

Tessa flinched as his hand touched her back. He ran his hand over her, feeling the subtle difference between her scars and her skin. He took a moment to slowly trace a few of them as he let out a breath, wondering over the pain she must have felt when this had happened to her. He dipped his head down, smelling the sweet scent in her hair before he brought his mouth over her shoulder and gave her a sensual kiss, letting his tongue taste her skin as he wrapped his arms around her, crossing his over hers as he cradled her body to his chest. He found her ear and kissed that too.

“You are beautiful Tessa.”

He felt her body take in a deep breath, expressing how nervous she was. Her eyes were swollen with tears but she was calm. His fingers traced her arms up to her shoulders and then back down her back as she shivered under his touch. He carefully unhooked her bra, wanting no barrier between his eyes and her back. Her head seemed to turn a bit at this, but he wasn’t concerned. He lowered himself and kissed her neck, working his way down her back as his hands ran over her skin. When her breathing began to quicken he slowly took her shoulders and turned her to face him. Her expression was a mask of confusion and pain, but more importantly, he saw a shy trust.

He brought his mouth over hers and she hesitantly responded. When Conner glanced down he saw that she was hugging her unfastened bra to her body, the straps were hanging down her shoulders, and she really was beautiful, he had meant that.

The scars were nothing compared to her beautifully proportioned body. Her breasts were just enough for his hands, and every part of her seemed delicate. He wanted to explore all of her. He could look at her forever, and in some ways he felt like this was the first time he had ever looked at a woman. He felt like this was the first time a woman was really looking at him, and he was glad it was Tessa.

His fingers hooked her bra straps and he gently began to ease them from her shoulders, continuing to keep his eyes locked with hers. She began to loosen the hold on her bra but then her eyes became uncertain again and she tightened her grip. Conner leaned down and kissed her again.

“Please.” He murmured, “Let me show you.”

Conner bit his lip as he watched the curiosity claim her expression, and then her eyes fell as she dropped her arms. He slowly continued, easing the bra from her shoulders until it had dropped to the floor. He took in the sight of her soft round breasts and the perfectly shaped nipples that reacted to the air of the room. He ran his hands down her chest and cupped them both in his hands. She flinched for a moment but then seemed to relax as he stepped closer to her, placing a kiss on her forehead before his arms went around her and he slowly led her back to her bed. Her head snapped up at him and she opened her mouth to speak but he smiled and shook his head.

“Please Tessa, let me show you.”

She didn’t know exactly what he wanted to show her but she wanted to trust him. She felt self-conscious over the way her body looked but something about the way he looked at her made her want to forget about her insecurities. She wanted to believe that he could want her. She didn’t know how far she was ready for this to go, but when he eased her head against the pillows she tried to relax, and when he kissed her the thought of being half naked hardly occurred to her.

Tessa couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her when he lifted his knees onto the bed and suddenly removed his shirt. Somehow seeing the nude half of his body was comforting. He gave her a reassuring smile and then made sure to keep his weight off her as he kissed her again, first quickly on the mouth and then his lips wandered down her neck, stopping to pay the scar between her breasts attention again. He wanted her to know how attractive she was, and if she didn’t believe him when he told her, she could consult the painful erection trapped in his pants. He was so aroused that he thought the accumulating moisture escaping his male organ was going to come right through his pants, but he ignored it. This was about Tessa.

Conner felt her body arch as he kissed over one breast, gently suckling the nipple and then the other before kissing further down her naval. His fingers hooked into her skirt and she lifted her head.

“Conner…” there was uncertainly ringing in her voice, but he just smiled at her.

“Please, let me. I need to show you.”

Tessa obviously wasn’t sure about this, but when he began to tug at her skirt she found herself lifting her hips to assist him. He removed her skirt along with her white panties, carefully easing them down her legs and off of her.

He quickly took in the sight of her. Her breasts were rising and falling with each breath, and her shapely legs were slender and soft as he took a moment to run his hands up them. He looked over her slightly curved hips and the smooth mound between them. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he took his time.

He kissed her naval, letting his tongue taste her skin. He kissed down the path to her mound as he positioned himself in front of her, gently easing her legs apart, as she became shaky beneath him. He could smell her arousal and knew that was part of the reason why she seemed so restless at the moment, but he still took his time, lifting her knees and kissing down one thigh and then the other.

Tessa took in a long breath and closed her eyes. She was definitely afraid, but of what? She felt herself reaching out; touching Conner’s hands as her body took over and let her relax. Everywhere he touched her felt like it was burning. She felt her body reacting, the juices pooling between her thighs as her faced flushed, and the feeling of him touching her. She felt his breath against her soft mound and her eyes snapped open.

“Conner.” She muttered.

His mouth pressed against the soft fold of her member and she gasped.

“Beautiful.” He whispered.

Tessa wanted to sit up but before she could she felt his tongue move over her entrance, coaxing her to open as his hands ran over her legs, encouraging her knees to bend. His tongue gently licked and teased and Tessa felt like her mind was suddenly trapped in a fog.

She had never felt anything like this before and she had no idea what to think of it. It felt strange but pleasant, and then as his tongue found her soft nub before entering her the pleasure part sparked through her and she was suddenly more restless than ever. She didn’t know how to stay still and she found him lifting her knees, guiding her legs over his shoulders as he took advantage of better access. Tessa bit her lip as a soft sound escaped her throat and she glanced down at him at the exact moment that he looked up at her, locking onto her eyes.

Tessa suddenly understood what he was doing. She could see herself reflected in his dark eyes and for a moment she did feel beautiful, and cared for and loved. Conner would never hurt her, she had always known that, but she realized that she had been blocking out her own feelings ever since she first met him. This was not a fling; her feelings for him were real. Truth be told, it scared the hell out of her, but pushing him away scared her more.

Tessa’s entire body suddenly felt hot as she let the sensations take over. Her back arched as she let the feeling explode. Conner tasted her release and took a few moments to savor it before he kissed his way up her body. His weight hovered over her as he found her mouth with his, while her arms moved around his neck and she kissed him, tasting everything that he did.

Tessa suddenly remembered David, and there was a slight feeling of guilt. She felt like she was betraying him, but at the same time being with Conner was not at all like being with David. The feelings were different, but in a good way. She felt close to Conner at the moment, she wanted to be close to him. She ran her hands over his back, encouraging his weight to come down on her.

Conner eased down slowly as they broke the kiss to breathe and his face rested contently against her neck for a moment. He wanted to tell her so many things but couldn’t find the words. He felt Tessa shifting beneath him as her hands moved down his sides and he realized that she must feel the bulge pressing between their bodies, confined to his jeans.

Tessa had noticed, and she suddenly realized that he must expect more. She was uncertain for a few moments but ultimately reached for his jeans. Her uncertainty did not go unnoticed by Conner and he quickly propped himself up and took her hands.

“No Tessa.”

“But…”

“It’s alright.” He smiled, “You’re not ready yet.”

Conner knew he was right, and he had no intention of taking her body unless she was ready, he preferred more than ready, and now simply wasn’t the time. He kissed her again to reassure her but suddenly felt worried when he saw fresh tears in her eyes. He worried that he had offended her and was going to explain when she spoke first.

“Stay with me tonight?”

Conner studied her for a minute, trying to determine if it was something that she really wanted before he gave her a gentle smile and lifted himself from her body. She began to sit up, looking confused, but before she could say anything Conner was holding his own shirt over her head, dressing her in it before he eased back the covers and helped Tessa under them. He pushed a strand of her hair back and kissed her forehead.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

Tessa nodded. Conner smiled at her and she watched him fixedly as he kicked off his shoes and then knelt down to remove his socks. As he opened his jeans and eased them from his body he kept his eyes on her, enjoying the way her eyes appreciated him. He left his boxers on, but there was little imagination left for what they were covering. He looked to Tessa again, asking a silent question, wanting to make sure this was what she really wanted. She responded by pulling the covers back so he crawled under them and wrapped his arm around her.

She snuggled against his chest and facing each other, they closed their eyes. The fact that it was still earlier than either of them usually went to bed didn’t seem to matter. Conner was suddenly as emotionally drained as Tessa seemed to be, and he had no trouble falling asleep with her. …………..

Tessa sat in her closet, the door was slightly cracked open and through her dark bedroom she could see the lump in her bed; Conner. He didn’t snore, but even from where she was she could hear his breathing, the comforting sounds of sleep. He seemed so peaceful, unlike Tessa, who rocked herself back and forth on the closet floor.

She couldn’t seem to stop the tears pouring down her face, silent tears connected to the way her body was shaking uncontrollably. She held an old white shoebox in her hands, her knuckles turning white the way she was gripping it, and she mindlessly whispered to something that only she understood.

“Don’t come back. Don’t come back. Please, leave him alone. Don’t come back.”

The sound from her bed interrupted her as a groan escaped Conner somewhere in his sleep. The sound caused Tessa to jump and she struggled to her feet. She quickly shoved the box into place in the top shelf of her closet and silently moved back into the room as she wiped the tears from her eyes. On her way to the bed the lock to her door caught the corner of her eye. She had locked it when she had woken up, but she went to check it once more before returning to bed where she carefully climbed back under the sheets.

Conner turned as she settled next to him again. His eyes opened only slightly from the movement. He was never any good at waking up and now was no exception, but seeing that Tessa’s eyes were open made him somewhat coherent as he glanced at the glowing numbers on the clock behind her. It was four o'clock in the morning. Conner reached out and found her hand with his own, locking his fingers with hers. He could hardly make out her face in the dark and he was too tired to know that anything seemed to be wrong. He smiled slightly and when she returned it he felt everything was perfect.

“Everything all right?” he whispered.

Tessa silently nodded and snuggled to his chest again. He moved his arm around her and closed his eyes, listening to the sounds of her breathing as sleep overtook him again. ………….

Tessa stood in the laundry room connected to her kitchen. The back door was securely locked, and she tentatively reached out and pulled back the curtain blocking the window. The sun poured through the window, blinding her for a moment as she fearfully shielded herself from it. She fought the urge to pull the curtain back into place, and when her eyes adjusted she took a few deep breaths before allowing her eyes to wander out to the back yard, nervously at first, until she was certain that no one was hiding in the bushes, and then, she let herself really look.

Conner had been taking care of the yard and the pool she often forgot was there. She didn’t have much of an idea when it came to what her yard looked like before Conner got a hold of it, but now the green grass and small garden of cactuses and bushes surrounding her private yard made her lips curl into smile. It really was beautiful, and it was a beautiful day. She could feel the ridiculous heat of an Arizona summer through her door as the sun bathed her, and for once she liked the feeling.

She wondered what the air outside would feel like on her skin, what kind of smells were mixed in it. She missed going outside. She never would have admitted that to herself a month ago, but now, she knew she missed it. She missed feeling the grass under her bare feet, and she missed the way it felt to be caught off guard when it rained, with no umbrella or coat. She missed the way it felt to come inside after being outside all day.

Tessa heard something behind her and jumped, she had been so wrapped up in thought that she hadn't heard the front door open. She had unlocked the deadbolts because Conner was coming over, but she had temporarily forgotten until she smelled the pizza, and she still flinched when his arms came around her waist from behind, but she slowly relaxed again when she felt his lips on her neck.

“Sorry.” Conner whispered, “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”

Tessa smiled and turned to meet his kiss, not really noticing the way his eyes had wandered to the window she had been looking out until he gently turned her back to it and continued to hold her from behind.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” Tessa shrugged, “Just thinking I guess. I meant to be at the door when you got here. How was work?”

“Fine.” Conner said briefly, never turning his attention from the window, “Tessa, do you ever think about going out there?”

He swore every muscle in her body tightened against him when he asked, but he tried to ignore it as he caringly rubbed her shoulders.

“No.” she stated, somewhat harshly.

Conner turned her to face him and looked into the blue eyes that seemed particularly stubborn today.

“Why not?” he asked.

Tessa pushed away from him and he followed her to the kitchen where he had left the pizza. He loved bringing her junk food and he loved watching her eat it, even if she put up a fight about it most of the time.

“You know I don’t go outside Conner, if that’s a problem for you, then…”

“Don’t.” he interrupted, gently yet firmly, “You know I’m not trying to push you Tessa, and we’ve been over this, I won’t let you push me away every time you get scared.”

They had had several conversations about it since Conner had spent the night. The next few days afterwards had been difficult ones; Tessa had suddenly become more defensive and somewhat more adamant about pushing him away from her, but every time he had seen right through her fear and they had managed to get through it. He continued to reassure her and it seemed to work.

“I’m sorry.” Tessa sighed, “I just don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright.” He smiled, leaning over the table as she stood on the other side, “Let’s not talk about it; let’s do it.”

Tessa’s eyes widened.

“Do what?” she demanded.

“Let’s eat outside tonight.” He smiled.

“What? No. I can’t.”

“Why not?” he replied, “Your yard is private enough, it’s a nice night. What are you afraid of?”

That was obviously the wrong question. Tessa became obviously agitated and Conner mentally scolded himself. He wasn’t trying to push her, he really wasn’t. He had just been so excited about the idea that he had forgotten not to push. He had seen her staring out that window and the images from all of the pictures kept in his office came back to him. Tessa had been happy once, he wanted to see her look like that again, for real, not just in an old photograph.

“I just can’t.” Tessa argued.

Conner walked around the table and hugged her before she could decide to run away from him.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, “I’m not trying to force you to do anything. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“You don’t understand.” Tessa frowned.

Conner raised an eyebrow. Usually after he’d apologized she’d change the subject. Did she want to talk about it? God he hoped so.

He pulled her closer and rested his chin over her head.

“I want to understand.” He uttered.

There was a long silence and Conner waited, trying to read Tessa’s body language. She wasn’t trying to pull away, her arms were still loosely around him, and she didn’t seem entirely stressed out. When she finally looked up at him he could read her better. She looked worried, and sad and maybe even angry, but if there was any anger he didn’t feel that it was directed towards him. And then she spoke in such a soft voice that he could hardly even hear her.

“I want you to understand.”

Conner started to smile, but held it back. Somehow Tessa seemed too serious for a smile to be in order, so he gently kissed her lips and then nodded.

“Help me understand.” He nodded again.

“I don’t know how.” Her fingers seemed to twist in his shirt, desperate and frustrated.

“Talk to me.” He suggested.

Tessa wanted to talk to him, but she had no idea what she wanted to say, or what she could say. She slowly parted from him and sat down at the table where she folded her hands and stared at them. Conner followed her lead, pulling his chosen chair closer to Tessa before he sat down and touched her hands.

“Tessa?”

“Sorry.” She sighed, “I guess I don’t really know how to do this.”

“Talk?”

She nodded without lifting her eyes.

“Why don’t you ever go outside?” Conner asked, wondering if she simply needed a little assistance with getting her words out.

“That’s a complicated question, Conner.”

“No it’s not.” He smiled.

Tessa’s eyes snapped up and she looked confused to see that he was smiling. She almost felt angry. He had no idea just how complicated the question was, complicated because there was no way she could give him a completely honest answer to it.

Conner at this point; was good at noticing when she was going to become defensive. He let out a breath and lifted her hand to kiss it.

“Alright Tessa, look. I’m not forcing you to talk to me, but I am here if you want to. If you decide you want to talk, we can, but only if you know that you’re in control. You tell me what you’re comfortable with, and we’ll take it from there.”