Layers Ch. 02

One good thing about microwaved dinners? No dishes. I toss the tray away then sit back at the computer. With tissues. I have a set of websites I visit for porn. Standard porn and werewolf stuff. I decide it's an evening for watching real people so I load up RedTube and go to their amateur section. I have a couple favorites and I decide on this one couple where they go through all kinds of different positions. The lady is in shape - not rail thin (gross) but nicely curved. Big tits but not obscenely so. I usually skip straight to doggy-style (my favorite position and the best part of the video) but I let it start from the beginning and fondle myself while they laugh and play with each other. The lady is hot and the guy is in pretty good shape with a decent sized dick. The girl is rolling around half-naked on the bed when I realize what I'm doing.

Usually, I watch the woman and imagine myself doing the undressing and playing. Not this time. No. This time I'm comparing. Like with the mannequin. I'm watching almost as if I'm taking notes on her shape. As if I'm filling in the holes of last night memories with the shape of this woman. As if I'm watching her to get an idea of what I might've looked like. It probably doesn't sound like a big deal but it's really fucking different for me.

Goddammit. I skip ahead to just before she goes to her hands and knees. She's on her back, naked now, legs and arms wrapped around the guy. He's fucking her bare and she's moaning from the pounding she's getting. I find my eyes drawn to her pussy, watching the guy's dick and the way she's moving with him. I tell myself that's normal. And, it is. I totally do that. Except I'm wondering what it feels like. If it's much different from what I remember of my fingers in my pussy. In my wet cunt. My sopping wet pussy.

My hands are working frantically at my dick now, remembering last night. Remembering the little bits I can. Shit, yes. I'm close. The way it felt to have that muscle stretched by those fingers. Fuck, yes. Mmmmm... I'm moaning but I don't notice. I never moan. Ever. I'm quiet in bed. But I'm moaning now. Yes. Would a dick be different? Different than the way the fingers felt? Sh..shit...so close... so close... the fingers or the dick, I don't care... just picturing... hands and knees... filled with a thick coc... my orgasm hits hard and cum goes everywhere. Son of a bitch! I forgot the tissues! My toes are curling and I'm still pumping myself and cumming, feeling the hot liquid on my hands and watching it hit my desk. F...fuck... Jesus. My heart is racing, my face is flushed and, oh Jesus, did I just whimper? No, no, no. That shit won't work. I do not want to be fucking some girl and then... do that.

I sigh and reach for the tissues. The cum is already turning cold on the tops of my fingers. I remember last night. I remember part of that - tasting the girl cum. And my own cum. I stare. My dick stirs feebly at the thought. The thought of tasting my own cum. And I look at it. At my hand. At the nearly clear liquid on my fingers. No. I won't. I can't. I've mostly used condoms in my life but this one semi-serious relationship, we ditched and went bare. I avoided oral with her after cumming. Because that's what you do, right? You don't go down on a girl after you've cum in her. So, no. I won't. But the pull is undeniable. Fucking thing! If you're going to give me something like one night of being a woman then you could do the fucking courtesy of not leaving any bullshit behind! I'm not sure who I'm mentally cursing but I'm mad. Or I tell myself that's why my heart is racing.

No.

No, no, no.

Fucking no.

I close my eyes and bring my hand to my lips. I picture it. She-wolf. Woman. Like last night. My dick isn't feeble any more. I'm mostly hard again. But, in my mind, I'm a she-wolf. I picture it clearly. Only this time I'm on my knees and forearm, reaching a hand to my pussy to grab cum out of me, pulling it to my mouth.

The taste surprises me. It's good. I didn't even know I put my fingers in my mouth but I did. And it's good. Really good. I moan and I can't fucking help it. It's a needy kind of moan. I find myself pushing my fingers into my mouth and getting hard because of it, sucking on them as I pull them out, cleaning off the cum. Feeling it against my teeth as I scrape and taste it with my tongue. Salty but a hint of something I can't describe.

I'm not going to lie. I clean up all of my cum except for the bits on the carpet. And by "clean up", I mean I use my fingers to pick the cum up and then lick myself off. Not just a quick lick of my fingers but sucking on them. That turns me on almost more than the taste of my own cum. I close my eyes every time I do it. I tell myself that it's because I'm imagining myself back as the she-wolf but, I'm not. I'm just closing my eyes to taste it. To take away distracting sensations and focus on my mouth.

And then I masturbate again. I briefly consider hunching over and aiming for my mouth but, fuck it, I want it on my fingers. I want the feeling of my fingers deep in my mouth as I suck the cum off ... the orgasm hits me again and my legs are twisting from it. From the release of pressure in my balls. I held one hand over the held of my dick and I feel the cum hit it.

I don't hesitate. I dip the fingers of my one hand into the cum and start sucking. It's almost like I'm hypnotized. I have no rational thoughts. None. I'm moaning at the feeling of my fingers in my mouth and the taste of the cum. I swear to god, my dick is trying to get hard again but it's not happening. And then, I'm clean. And I still want more. I can still feel the taste in my mouth and it actually makes me smile. I... I want to blame this on the wolf. On the woman. It's just because last night was so recent. Echoes of that. That's all. I'm wishing my stomach would clench in disgust and I'd throw up but, I don't. And THAT makes me happy because, shit, because I don't want to lose this taste in my mouth.

I can't get comfortable on the chair anymore. My ass actually hurts a lot. A soreness from sitting too long. I glance over at the porn - they lady is straddling the guy and riding his cock. My eyes are drawn to it. His cock. I shut off the thought of wondering what the guy's cum tastes like. No. That's too fucking far.

Instead, I kneel on the floor. Like last night. Thighs spread. I can feel the carpet on my balls. I play with them briefly but then go to my hands and knees with my head down and my eyes closed. My ass spreads from the motion and I can feel the air on my asshole. Like this? I picture the she-wolf again. She wants it, I tell myself. She wants to see what this would be like.

She does.

I can still taste the cum in my mouth.

No.

I stand up. My legs are shaky and my ass hurts but I ignore it. A quick scratch to my bare chest and I go wash my hands. No. This will pass. It'll go away. I'm done with it. Never again. Never fucking again.

I don't brush my teeth that night. I tell myself it's because I'm tired but that's not why. Not at all. I just don't want to lose the taste of cum in my mouth yet.