Learning

Those few minutes before,
while He's preparing,
are when i feel the most lost.

Do i speak,
do i kneel?

What does He want?

There's no set rules,
no required positions,
so i just stand there
and
wait.

Always,
when i'm nervous,
my entire focus goes to my hands.

They find their way first to my hair,
then to my mouth
as i bite my fingers.

my eyes follow him about the room
as He gathers the toys for our play.

It's all so new to me,
nothing about this reality
comes close to the books i have read,
nor the fantasies i have created.

Be it by plan,
or without His own knowledge,
He is breaking me in a way i never imagined.

There are no rules but two;
always keep His coffee cup clean
and look pretty for Daddy.

On my days off,
there may be a few added chores,
but it's never much.

i'm allowed free reign in the house,
i sit where i choose,
speak when i want,
i'm never asked to lower my gaze.

i know the majority of the housework is expected to be done be me,
but never on a set schedule.
Nothing's mentioned
unless i fall into a lazy trap,
letting a few days go by.

Even then,
it's always just a casual reminder.

my first real punishment was in public.

i hadn't washed His coffee cup,
it sat in the sink for days.

Yes,
there was that time in the hotel
when W/we both learned how much
my body truly loves
the caress of the whip.

A brief caning in the bedroom,
unbound,
with only His weight holding me still
while i struggled.

mmmm...

and that precious, intimate time
He pulled me over His lap...

None of those were real though,
they was all just part of us getting to know each other,
learning each other's ways.

He taught me His full control
before the eyes of others,
allowing it all to be caught in the flash of the camera.

i walked into the scene without a script,
hoping my natural instincts would be enough
to please Him,
to make Him proud in front of His friends.

i know He was pleased my outfit.

The plaid school girl skirt,
short enough to glimpse my white cotton panties
and the lace of my thigh highs.

The tight button down shirt showing
just a tease of cleavage.

Bright red with a wide plastic belt,
the shirt and the 6 and a half inch heels
were just the right touch
to bring Him back
to His mid-80's puberty.

As i walked through the door,
all of this was hidden beneath
my hood of innocence,
in a cloak that He had bought for someone else.
It must be an extra kink for Him,
seeing me in something she never wore for Him.

With no rules, no commands
how do i know what to do,
what is expected of me?

So my eyes follow Him about the room
as i
wait.

He notices my discomfort,
and has me sit on the massage table behind us.

Grateful that He has chosen to take me
to the back of the room,
i do my best
to avoid catching a glimpse of myself
in the mirrored wall.

Instead i focus on the cage in the corner,
losing myself in the thoughts
having one in our own bedroom...

i look into His eyes
and find that place
where He can completely
wrap Himself around me.

It's a place He's made just for me,
where i can hide
no matter how scared i am and know
i'll always be safe.

i nuzzle into His chest,
smiling up at Him as He places
leather shackles on my ankles and wrists.

The fur lining is soft against my skin.

my arms and legs are spread wide,
though not uncomfortable,
as i am bent over the horse.

Thankful that i can hide my face,
i see nothing of what is to happen
or
the people around me.

He offers a few kind words before He begins,
letting me know He'll be gentle,
and reminding me
He loves me.

it's finally here,
the moment i have been
equally craving and
terrified of for years.

Completely bound,
i have no choice but to trust Him.

i've heard there's release in the pain,
i've tasted hints of it before
but never has anyone offered
so much of Their love to me
as my Daddy is about to.

i know the cane is to come,
three of them i believe.
i had done my best to hide in my hair,
barely glancing out of the corner of my eye
as He and a friend waved them around earlier,
teasing me with a sound i knew would sting
once it hit flesh.

it's not this sting i feel at first,
but His hand as He spanks me,
preparing my bottom for what is to come.

my Daddy keeps me starved for His attention,
i revel in this as much as i would
the most passionate
kiss.

The feel of the strike changes,
but it's still not the sting i am expecting.

my eye wanders again to the cage
as He warms my bottom with one of His many tools.

i close my eyes for a moment,
breathing in the moment,
as the thought of the cage lingers.

my dreams of the future are
quickly replaced
by the sharp thoughts of the present
as i try remain graceful before Daddy's friends.

The punishment has begun and
i'm having a hard time
balancing in my heels.

i was so proud of wearing Daddy's shackles,
they looked like they were made
to be worn above those heels.

The stark white of my thigh highs made
the sliver ring sparkle against
the black leather.

i struggled to keep my breath
as the canes danced around my bottom.

my only thoughts were of pleasing Him,
on remaining beautiful and calm
as i endured my first punishment.

Each loving strike
reminding me
this was the
Master i had been
searching for.

i want nothing more
than to wear His collar,
and it doesn't escape my notice
that my neck
is naked
tonight.