Leave Me Breathless

There were three of our neighbors all gathered around with their heads under the hood of Daddy's car too. As I stepped up and watched him, he saw me and smiled.

"Is dinner ready?" he asked.

"No Daddy, "I said. "Take your time." As much as a full grown man can be innocent, my daddy was. He seemed to be happy. He loved his life. As he joked and talked with our neighbors, I felt like such an asshole for even thinking about taking that happiness away from him. He worked so damned hard to give us a nice life. Mom had only started working a couple of years ago, when I became old enough to look after myself. She had no secretarial skills and became a volunteer at my high school. They'd eventually started paying her as she took on more responsibility, finally becoming Eddington's secretary.

I decided then, not for my mom or for Eddington, but for my dad's happiness, not to say anything. I wasn't sure that I wasn't making a mistake but it seemed like the right call at the time.

When I got to school the next day, it started out great. Midway through my first class I was called to the principal's office. My great day started going to hell.

I opened the door to Eddington's office. There was no secretary because my mom had quit.

"Come in and close the door, Melinda," he said.

"I'd rather leave it open," I told him.

"Well, can you just pull it shut," he said. "What we need to talk about needs to remain confidential."

"You and I have nothing to talk about," I said.

"Melinda, what about your future," he said. "The colleges that you've applied to are still going to be interested in your grades. If your GPA happened to drop suddenly, you might lose a few of your choices."

"How would that happen, Mr. Eddington?" I asked.

"Some of your teachers might suddenly start to look at your work more critically," he said smiling.

"I suppose that you have some possible solution to that problem worked out, right?" I said. He nodded.

"Melinda, what happened between your mother and I was unfortunate, but it doesn't have to ruin your career or anything else. We can just..." I turned around and slammed the door to his office so loud they probably heard it in the gym.

His eyes got huge. "Who the fuck, are you supposed to be...?" I yelled. "Are you Darth Vader? Is this some warning that the Death star is coming into position to blow my home world to smithereens?"

"Look Dick-less, this is the twenty-first century. No one falls for those dime store theatrics anymore. Is that how you got between my mother's legs? I'm not as stupid as she must be. I've had a four point GPA every year that I've been here except for my freshman year. Do you know how I got my grades? I busted my ass. No one gave me anything. If my grades did just start to suffer, I'd go to my teachers with a copy of my papers and ask for a review. They'd have to show me where my papers were wrong and examples of everyone who got them right. The second thing is that most of my teachers like me more than they like you so they wouldn't go along with your crap. The third thing is that you just made an even bigger fool of yourself, because of this..." I pulled my new iPhone out of my pocket and played back his threat for him. His eyes got even bigger and he slumped in his chair.

"So now I have evidence of you trying to coerce me into being quiet or you'll try to convince teachers to mess around with my grades. I believe that is illegal isn't it?" He nodded his head.

"So, it's not bad enough that you've been some kind of cut-rate Casanova around here for the past few years, now you're stooping to blackmailing children to cover up your affairs. Which one are you the most afraid of Russell?" I asked.

"That's Mr. Eddington to you Melinda," he whined.

"Mr. is a title or a term of respect," I spat. "I have none for you Russell. I hold your shitty little life and career in my hands. And you know what the stupidest thing about this is?" He shook his head.

"Before you interrupted my science class, I had already agreed with my mother NOT to tell my dad or your wife about this. So which one are you the most afraid of? Are you more afraid of my dad kicking your ass or losing your career? You think about it, I'm going back to class."

I walked out into the hall still seething and bumped into my favorite teacher, Ms. Abra.

"Are you okay Melinda?" she asked. And everything became clear as I looked into her eyes.

Ms. Abra was a near legend in our school. All of the boys and all of the men drooled over her. I remember more than once seeing a guy walk down the hall and get a glimpse of her and then end up walking into a wall or a door.

About half of the girls in the school hated her. It was simply unfair. You have all of these young women on the verge of adulthood, like fruit on the vine that is just becoming ripe. Most of them realize then that they've hit the point in their lifetime when they're at their best. Time and gravity are their best friends. Then they run into a woman like Ms. Abra who makes them look like awkward, coltish, little boys.

And when you take a good look at her, your feelings of despair become even deeper. One of the things that most girls learn very early is that we're all different. We all have things about us that are noteworthy. We learn to play up our strong points and to downplay our weaknesses. So if you're a girl who's a butter-face, you know to wear sexier clothing to play up your body and downplay your face. You might also grow your hair longer and have it styled playfully to cover one odd eye or the other.

If you have no boobs, you probably have a nice ass or gorgeous legs, so you don't wear a bra, and you wear shorter skirts to play up what you have. If you don't have much ass or legs, it's no problem. You wear low cut tops, and show off the girls.

If you're the skinny model type with no butt, no chest and no legs, then you highlight your face. The point is that God gives us all something. The trick is to discover what you were given and do something with it.

Then along comes Ms. Abra to ruin it all. Let's start at the top. The woman is simply unfair. She has what I call reactive hair. Her hair is a light brown naturally. She told me that when she was growing up, they used to call it mousy brown, because it was so understated and mousy. The women who had it didn't stand out. It was neither a rich, sexy, dark brown that could be called smoldering, nor was it even vaguely blonde.

In Ms. Abra's case, her hair reacts to the sun. If there's a lot of sun, it only takes a few days and some of her hair starts turning a lighter shade. It looks amazing. Everyone always thinks that her hair has been highlighted. If she wears a pony tail or styles her hair so that some of it isn't exposed to the sun, then those areas seem to darken and before you know it she has two or three very natural hues blended into her hair. Half of the women I know spend a lot of money trying to get a look that she doesn't even think about. Her hair comes down nearly to her waist and it flits around like the wings of a butterfly.

And all that hair does is to draw attention to her face. Her face is as beautiful as the rest of her. She has the bluest eyes. When she talks about math, the worst thing you can do is to look at her. I've heard a lot of the boys say that they were looking at her and just fell into a trance. Her eyes are so blue that you just forget where you are. I wish that she had a huge honker of a nose but her nose is so tiny that it's like a decoration on her face.

And she does the stupidest thing. She has what she considers a flaw. She has a bunch of tiny nearly symmetrical patches of freckles across her nose. She covers them up with very light make-up because she hates them. Then when we have an outdoor activity and she doesn't wear the make-up, all of the guys see the freckles and fall even more in love with her.

I absolutely hate her mouth. At this point in history, we seem to be enthralled with lips. There are women all over the world getting collagen injections to make their lips fatter and fuller. Then there are women who were simply born with huge lips.

Ms. Abra has a tiny mouth. But it's shaped in that perfect Cupid's bow form that makes it look like her lips are bigger than they are. Her teeth are also really white and she smiles often. Her smiles are fleeting though, so if something happens that makes her smile in class, the entire room seems to get warmer.

If her head and face are outstanding, her body is scary. All of the pieces simply shouldn't add up to the whole. She doesn't have huge boobs, but it doesn't matter. In fact, last year we had a pool party for the senior class. I forgot my swimsuit and Ms. Abra told me that since she was only a chaperone, I could borrow hers. She said it made more sense for the students to have fun than for the staff. I was sure that I wouldn't be able to fill her top. Then I noticed that it was only a 34 C top. At 18 last year I wore a 36C top. Her boobs aren't big at all. But her ribcage and torso are so tiny that her average sized boobs look big on her.

Her waist is also tiny. It's like 23 inches which makes her butt look bigger than it is and she runs every day like my dad does so her legs are scary.

Ms. Abra does have a few quirks. The woman teaches math and science. She walks around all day long in a lab coat covering up her body. She also wears very long skirts and blouses that button up to the neck. She also wears those dorky safety glasses all the time, like she forgets that she's wearing them. It's like she simply doesn't realize how pretty she is.

The worst thing about her is that she is simply the nicest person you'd ever want to meet. She spends extra time with all of her students and really tries to make sure that we understand how useful math and science are for our future careers.

I think she has a soft spot for the nerdy, unassuming types though. You often see her stand there smiling at one of those socially inept, yet very smart guys, but she doesn't take any crap from the guys on the team. She has benched them academically more times than anyone wants to remember.

When the coach comes storming into her lab, pissed because one of his players has dropped his average in her class to the point that he is on probation and can't play, she refuses to give him any opportunity that she wouldn't give anyone else.

While we're talking about the coach, he put the full court press on Ms. Abra a couple of years ago. He was rebuffed strongly. She let him know that she was not interested in him in any way shape or form. She went as far as taking her name off of the list to chaperone any extra-curricular event that he worked on.

Several other teachers have taken their shots at her too. She simply doesn't seem to want to date anyone. The coach started telling everyone that he knew when she wasn't interested in him that she was a lesbian.

My mom once told me that she'd heard from one of the other science teachers that Ms. Abra had actually been married once. Abra was her married name. Her maiden name was Troy. Her husband had been her childhood sweetheart. He went into the military and was killed in a training accident. The worst thing about it was that he didn't even get to actually serve his country although everyone who enlists makes us proud. To her, it just seemed like the world's biggest waste of a life that her husband was killed practicing a logistics procedure.

He'd actually wanted to work for the same company her father did and he'd felt that getting experience in helping the military transport equipment and resources around the globe would be valuable experience. He also assured her that all he was doing was basically shipping and receiving. He was and would remain as far from the bombs and bullets as possible.

A soldier who was unfamiliar with driving a forklift backed into a rack of cases of heavy shells. The entire shelf collapsed. The cases were so heavy that they bent the safety cage that protected the forklift operator. He escaped serious injury, but her husband was crushed beneath literally tons of metal.

"Are you okay Melinda?" she asked, seeing me storming out of Eddington's office.

"Yes ma'am. I'm fine," I said. "He gets on my nerves though."

"Trust me," she smiled, exposing those too white teeth. "I know the feeling. I never expected to see you coming out of the principal's office though. I hope you're not in trouble."

"No ma'am," I said. "But now that you mention it, I could use some advice. You know some female wisdom from one generation to the other about fashion and style."

"So you need me to find someone to give you fashion advice?" she said. "Well, I suppose we could ask Sandy. You know Mrs. D'alaqua? She knows all about Paris fashions and that type of thing. She also watches all of those TV shows about style and models."

See what I mean. The woman has no idea how pretty she is. She wanted to help me out by asking another woman who wasn't nearly as pretty as she was.

"Ms. Abra," I said. "I wanted some advice from you."

"Me?" she smiled. "But you're way prettier than I am. I wouldn't know what to even begin to tell you. Now if you needed help with math, which you never have, then..."

"You're the perfect person to help me," I said.

"Well, okay," she smiled. "I'll do what I can, but you have to help me too."

"What do you need ma'am?" I asked.

"The freshman and sophomore classes are not signing up for the nature hike," she frowned. "I guess they don't see science as being very exciting. They tend to want to do everything on a computer. To them, running around in the woods isn't very much fun. Melinda, you're very popular and maybe if you let people know that you were coming, I'd have more volunteers," she said shyly.

God that woman was crazy. All she had to do was take off that lab coat and those ridiculous glasses and make an announcement and every guy in the school would show up. If the guys showed up, the girls would too. The problem was that the newer students hadn't learned how hot she was yet.

"Not only will I tell people," I said. "I'll be there. Is it okay if I bring a friend?"

"Of course," she said smiling. "The more the merrier. I need as many people tramping through the woods bringing me specimens as possible."

I went back to class that day and when I got home after school, had to deal with my mother again.

"Hello Honey," she said smiling. I looked at her like she was crazy. I was eighteen years old and she greeted me at the door with a plate of milk and cookies.

"Hello Theresa," I said acidly. "I thought that it was understood that we wouldn't be speaking to each other."

"Melinda, that's silly," she said. "We're family. They pulled you out of my womb. You're a part of me. So we have to at least make an effort to get along."

"Theresa, have you ever heard the expression, "You can't go home again?" I asked. She nodded her head in confusion.

"What does that have to do with us?" she asked.

"Well, you know how people are born in a certain neighborhood and grow up there and then later on they become famous and move away. When they come back for a visit later, everything in the neighborhood has changed. All of the things they thought were great are either ruined or were never that great to begin with?" I smiled.

"I still don't understand what that..." she began.

"Theresa, you said it yourself. I was pulled out of your womb, but after what I saw you letting into it yesterday, I'd never go back there. For all of my life you gave me a set of rules that I needed to follow. But you don't follow them yourself. There is nothing more I can learn from you. I no longer respect you so there's no point in us talking."

"But Melinda, we're not just a group of people who work in an office together or a sports team, we're a family. We have to forgive each other when we make mistakes," she said.

"If you don't like my solution, we can always just tell Daddy and let him decide whether or not he wants to forgive you," I said. "My opinion is that you cheated on a man who loves you so much that he does everything he can to make your life better. What has Eddington ever done for you besides cram himself between your legs? When you're all sick and bloated, is he the one who sits by your bed rubbing your forehead? Is he the one who's supported you for all of these years? What exactly has he done for you that's enough for you to betray your husband?" I asked.

"Nothing..." she said.

"So, if we do this your way," I said. "And I tell Daddy what you've done, not only will I STILL not speak to you, but you'll lose your husband as well as your daughter, right?"

She nodded her head.

"Theresa, just quit while you're behind," I said.

"I can't believe the little girl I raised is so unforgiving," she said. Her voice broke and tears ran down her eyes.

"Theresa, shut off the waterworks," I said. "You said it yourself yesterday. I'm my daddy's girl. I did go easy on you. If you'd been anyone else; if the person who hurt my dad had been someone that I didn't like, I'd have fucked them up. You got off easy. If you don't screw up again you can stay married to him. Unless, of course, someone else finds out what you did. But if I catch you again, even with someone else; it wouldn't be pretty."

I stayed in my room until my dad came home, then I went downstairs and had dinner with him. Daddy relaxed for a while after he got done with dinner and then I asked him if he wanted to go out for a walk or a light jog. Just as we were getting ready to leave, my mother asked if we wanted her to come along.

"You don't like to run," I said, smiling at her.

"I can ride along on your old bike," she smiled. "That way we could all be together."

"My bike has a flat," I said. "But if you really want to hear me talk about school activities and getting Daddy to come to some of them; it's fine. Maybe since you're going to be there we can talk about yesterday too."

"Well, if the bike has a flat, there's no way for me to come with you guys," she said suddenly. "My ass is too fat for me to be out running."

"I love your ass, Honey," said my dad. He kissed her and I wanted to throw up. My mom was smiling at me after he kissed her and patted her on her ass. I guess she wanted to claim it as a victory of some kind.

As my dad went up to change into running gear, she smiled at me. "See, Melinda, he hasn't been hurt. He still loves me just as much and whether you believe it or not; I still love him too. I would never hurt him. He's the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with. All I wanted was a little bit of excitement."

"It's going to be really exciting when he divorces your cheating ass," I said while smiling at her. She just shook her head and went in to clean the kitchen.

As Daddy and I ran, we talked. He told me about some problems they were having at work and what he wanted to do to his Mustang. I told him about the harvest festival dinner dance and also about the science expedition for Ms. Abra. I told him how much we needed samples and how we had hardly anyone going. I twisted his arm a little bit and he agreed to accompany me. When he told me he'd get mom to come along too, I told him that I'd already asked her and that she had other plans.

So when Saturday came along, Daddy and I got up early and grabbed breakfast on the road. We were still eating it when Ms. Abra pulled up in her car. She had one of those new Pontiac re-issues of the classic GTO. The car had come out a few years ago and hadn't really been the hit that GM expected. It looked too much like the G6 and G8. And although the performance was great, it didn't look anywhere near what the muscle heads wanted to see.

My dad immediately jumped out of his Mustang and walked a slow circle around the car. He looked at everything. He looked at the wheels and the brakes and the twin exhaust pipes and then sat back and looked at the body lines. Ms. Abra got out of her car and came over and sat with me.