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"So what happens now.?"
"First we need to get your friends to safety..." The white Dragon eyed the girls, "as appetising as they are, that will have to wait, if the black Dragon returns he may not be alone, so we need to move, put distance between us and this place," the white Dragon glanced at the man, "and him." The Dragon's tone was flat, unemotional when she spoke of the man, "but first you need to change."
Lucy nodded, letting go of Anja she started to walk up the grassy slope.
"Where are you going?"
"To get my rucksack, I need it, especially if I am to change."
Lucy was unaware of how Dragons, even pure white girlish sexy looking ones express exasperation, the trees behind the Dragon did know, but knowing did them no good, the white Dragon hissed steam and lashed her tail left and right, felling trees that split and shattered, the sound like cannon fire, or at least the sound that film makers used when cannons fired, for Lucy had never heard a real cannon fire, then again, she had never seen a Dragon hissing steam either.
Our heroine smiled at the white Dragon, "You are very sexy when you're angry, but if you get angry again, you should let me undress first." Then with a slow and very sexy wink, Lucy turned back and continued up the slope, with every step her perfect ass punctuated the white Dragon's passion, Lucy knew it, Lucy took pleasure in it, exaggerating the sensual roll of her hips, taunting the white Dragon with her perfect ass.
Behind her the white Dragon ran out of steam, her eyes focused on our heroine's ass, that perfect ass... The white Dragon no longer hissed steam, but sighed and drooled.
When Lucy returned, her rucksack on her back, it was Eva who spoke. The girls had moved to join Anja by the rock, though they had all carefully avoided the body of the man. All except Eva, who had acted in typical Eva fashion, grabbing the man and rolling him over, so she could grasp the ice axe and pull it free. Eva had always been the tomboy of the group, though her looks belied her character. Pulling an ice axe from a body is not easy, or for the squeamish, Eva stood astride the man, placed one foot on his back and taking the ice axe in both hands she braced herself and pulled, the muscles in her long legs toned by years of climbing and mountain biking, slowly her strong legs straightened and the ice axe pulled free, the last part came free in a rush, the narrow point no longer gripped, Eva fell back, cutting her finger on a sharp part of the axe. Without thinking she raised her finger to her lips, and licked... Then bent down and wiped the axe on the grass, to remove the blood.
"So what happens now?" Eva asked, handing the ice axe to Lucy.
"That is what I asked." Lucy replied, looking from Eva to the white Dragon.
"You explain, the Dragon replied, I'm going to go get lunch." With that the white Dragon spread her wings and with a single powerful sweep she lifted high in the air and flew off towards the lake. The muffled whisper of her wings almost hiding Eva's gasp...
"I could hear her... I mean I could understand her... Oh fuck me.."
Monika, Anja Maja, Eva, Fran and Helen all spoke as one... "Later...!!!"
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 12 years agoi love the writeing style in this, reminds me of hitchickers guide to the galixy.
Lo_Panabout 12 years agoYes, your writing has potential.....But the imagery and the tone, and the constant first person of the whole thing kinda detracts from the entire story. It has been my experience that writers that use first person, present tense to write a story are going to head down the inevitable road to disaster. Then, not to be sexist, nor genderist, nor to be seen as homophobic, but lesbianism doesn't do it for me. I'm sorry, but the clear and present images that you've thrown up, is that our 'heroine' and the 'dragon' are both lesbians. Sorry, but you've lost me.
Kolrinover 12 years agobut hard to read at times. The main problem is not your witty writing, which I enjoy, make no mistake, but that you repeat the same very colourfull descriptions over and over. That creates two dificulties in reading.
First and foremost, repetion of such inventive and colourfull descriptions does not add anything, but detracts, as it destroys their freshness and uniqueness.
Second is that so many repetetive complex descriptions make it hard to read, as most are not used to such complex descriptions. In the terminology of computer: each description takes time to compile and so many so complex descriptions take a lot of time to compile each time. This slows down the reading speed and makes reading tenous by no fault of the story, which is funny so far and shows, as said, lots and lots of potential.
So tone down on the descriptors a bit and save them for the important parts and persons. I know from experience, that every character is dear to the author and every scene of the utmost importance, but you need to prioritice or the story will suffer.
That said, I cannot repeat often enough that your story has lots and lots of potential and I like your fresh and witty writing style. Thanks for sharing
Anonymousover 12 years ago... shows much more potential than "I'll wash your mouth with soap, you four-letter brained tart !".
So, see or read you ... later - and thanks for a whitty writing. I didn't know swiss alps could be so inspiring (but dinosaurs tracks actually are preserved on some rocks found in the swiss alps - hence the dragon legend ;)
