Letter From an Online Submissive

There follows a report from Your online sub of the assignment You ordered me carry out on the afternoon of Monday 11th April 2005. i hope it pleases You and that You realise that i am willingly Yours to do with as You wish in all things sexual.

After lunch i took a towel with me for the car seat as You suggested and it was necessary if my skirt wasn't to be stained. i was wearing the stated clothing, white front fastening bra, red blouse, tan just past knee skirt, brown shoes and a brown jacket. i bought a bunch of firm bananas and cringed as i saw what size they were. What size i had to insert. i took them home and washed and disinfected two of the firmest. i had time to kill it was hard waiting and feeling excited and aroused and scared and humiliated as i thought of fingering myself as You had instructed and stopped as You instructed in the morning. i paced and was aware of my knickerless state.

At 2.30 i went out. i had to roll my skirt up at the back, which was not easy as it was long. my thighs were on display a little. i went back to the department store and stripped off. It was terrible knowing how i had felt after the last time i had done this for You, feelings of submission overpowering inside me. i took the bananas out of the carrier bag i'd brought them in when i was naked apart from my shoes. i kissed my ring and took the paper with the mantra on from my handbag. i was wet, though the banana felt huge. Bigger than it looked. i had to squat wide with my legs bent outward, feeling so vulnerable. i used my fingers to open myself a few times and then i pushed it slowly inside myself. It felt strange. Not like a vibe it was softer, gave a bit, very odd and very filling. i almost stopped with it half in. It was so humiliating. i recited the mantra that You had given me, softly saying that i did this in honour of my Trainer and all the other things. i wondered if i could do it. my heart was beating ridiculously. i pushed further. Then someone came into another toilet! i held myself silent and still all the time until i heard them wash and leave.

Thankfully it wasn't busy Monday afternoon. i felt it almost sucked in the last bit until i was full and felt stuffed. my breathing was quick and short and there was a sweat on my forehead. i did it. i fucked myself with it. It was terrible and i felt so aware of my need to do this and please You. my head was resting on my hand on the cistern, my hand bitten by my teeth as i bent and fucked myself. Oh God it was humiliating. If anyone had seen me!! It began making squishy noises. i stopped scared to death. i carried on and suddenly it hit me. i didn't cum but it was past 8. i could sense that void opening and fireworks behind my closed eyes. i quickly pulled it from me and without moving otherwise regained some control over my body at least. my pussy felt open as i stood and the banana had gone rather brown! i licked it clean. It tasted different! i sucked my hand clean and dried it on my leg before quickly dressing. Looking in the mirror i nearly died. my face was all red and i felt so absolutely slutty. Like someone from a porn film.

i left quickly. my eyes down on the ground not looking at anyone. my lips feeling swollen under my skirt, my nips aching. At the pub i didn't stop for a drink just went straight to the toilet. It was somehow easier. i stripped quickly and readied myself with my note. i decided to use the other new banana. i was still open for it as it went into me. i didn't think much about what i was doing now, it was the feelings of humiliation and acceptance and getting the job done that began to take over. There were no thoughts of can i anymore. i accepted that i had to. Accepted that i was doing Your will and that was what i needed to do. That thought allowed me to get on with it, fuck myself in a public toilet with a banana! The feeling of fullness overpowering. In some ways its hard on ones own in there submitting. With another there is always the human touch of another, giving a touch of support even unconsciously. On ones own it is hard Sir. Its lonely at times. But i got through that and i pushed it in and out of my body for You. Again the arousal came upon me suddenly. i knew i need to stop though now i so much wanted to cum. i slowed and brought it out this time knowing i needed to use it again. Again it was brown. i looked at it and thought it had been inside me. i thought it had possessed me but then i knew it wasn't that. It was You who had. All along You have being possessing me. More and more. i stood gasping and watched my naked breasts bouncing on my breath. They were mottled and i guess so was my neck. i didn't want to look. i licked it and my fingers, dressed and dashed out of the pub. my pace was brisk. i had a mission.

The cinema was again overpowering in its perfume. Hiding this sluts smell. Her wet thighs, her juices and opened pussy. i began to think of it as more than that. 'Pussy' was what a normal girl called it. i was a slut and cunt seemed more appropriate. That dirty word i hate. But it did seem so appropriate. Not even my cunt but Your cunt. i squatted naked in my disgusting stance again and took a banana. i was afraid that it would split inside me! That would have been the pits wouldn't it. Trying to clean banana from inside! But the banana was still OK, though just. Maybe it was me that had become huge and gaping. It slid in easily enough as i recited. i grasped my tits as i did it too. It had become almost natural. i had sunk and accepted. i was Yours to assign things to, Yours to expect that i did my best. i felt strangely relaxed by now.

Accepting it inside me, accepting Your fucking. i felt that that was what i was for. This time it built slowly and i accepted it building with its own regularity. The sliding of it into me and out of me. i was beginning to tire but i came to the nearness and stopped. a group of girls ran in giggling screaming. All the time they were in i leant, head down bottom up, legs apart. If anyone had come in it was obvious what i was for. The young noisy girls left and i wearily stood. The banana now blacked all along its length. A small split beginning on one side. i licked the now softer fruit and cleaned my fingers in my mouth and dressed.

i walked out, a more gentle stride i noticed. The feel of your cunt between my thighs obvious, as after a night of it being used. Aching. i walked again on the outside of the mall, in the cool air and warm sun. i approached the last one and went in. Ignoring the terrible smell of the car park toilet i simply undressed keeping my clothes clean as i placed them carefully. God i was a slut. i felt like crying then but i don't know why. A sudden jolt of emotionalism sweeping through me. But it passed and i got the banana and after checking it pushed it up inside my body for You. Filled myself up for You. i had become an animal, a bitch for You. Submitting totally to You. i just did as i was told. Fucked myself with the banana almost thoughtlessly. It didn't seem to matter on one level and was so important on another. i was cold in the toilet but i fucked away like a good submissive. i fucked regardless of anything other than being obedient and pleasing You. i became near. On 8 as You say. i am beginning to know that point. The point when my stomach muscles start twitching, almost cramping, as the muscles inside begin squeezing. i stopped. i felt almost at peace, though i was aware that i had that sharp insistent ache that let me know my body needed to relieved of the teasing. i dressed and did my things. i walked into the car park with a huge thing between my legs or so it seemed. i was filthy with my liquids down my thighs, my nipples ached in the breeze. It was difficult in the car. my skirt was almost too long. i had to lift it up at the back but this meant exposing some thigh. It was done and i sat on the towel. i sat in the car looking at the blue sky for sometime, my mind cleared of everything. Eventually i drove home.

i am sitting here typing this naked again. i needed a cup of tea first i admit, but i have the blackened bananas with me and i have obeyed Your instructions not to shower. i reek of sex, of my leakages, of my dirty fucking. i am so tired and the beginnings of soreness are obvious.

Regardless of both my tiredness and my soreness i know i need to cum. i beg You now let me cum. Your cunt needs it. Please. Please. i will await Your reply and hope.

your subslut

m

xxx