Leykis101: How To Be Happy

I was listening to Tom Leykis on the radio as I was driving home from work the other day and was confronted with an interesting topic. Generally you can count on the good old Professor to have a nice pussy hungry, bare breasts flashing on the highway kind of radio show, but sometimes he pulls out some incredibly rational and timely shows that cut through all of the crap society wraps around a thing and gets to the core of the issue.

The issue he chose was fidelity in a relationship. Tom preaches that guys should be out there getting as much pussy as possible. We should be banging everything that moves unless it's fat or ugly. "Never settle for anything," he says. But once you've found your true love, you stick with her and be absolutely true to her.

"Tell her the truth," he said. If you like watching dirty movies, tell her. If you're addicted to the literotica web page, tell her. And if you don't tell her the truth, he said that you have no business being in the relationship. If you aren't telling your wife or girlfriend everything, if you're keeping little things back, if you don't tell her that sometimes you get up at night and read dirty stories, then you're living a double life and you're a pathetic piece of crap.

Your wife will want to know what you're doing. She'll want to know what you're thinking. She does this because she loves you and wants to understand you. You give her half answers, or brush her off. Her feelings are hurt, and a woman with hurt feelings is a truly dangerous thing.

Maybe she searches around on the computer and finds something – something that you'd rather keep hidden, secret from her. Why do you hide it? If she finds it, she'll be mad, or hurt, or just disappointed. Or maybe it's deeper. You hide it from yourself, wishing that you had more control of yourself. Wishing that you didn't need to have this.

Tom Leykis said that it all has to do with self hate. He said, "If you do it, you're doing it because you hate yourself."

The more you do it, the more you hate yourself, and the more you hate yourself, the more you want to do it. Cheating and lying is similar to a drug. You take it because it makes you feel really good for a brief moment, and then when you crash, you want that brief moment back even more strongly.

And maybe your wife doesn't provide that. Maybe she did once, but it's been a long time since she really trusted you with her feelings. She's closed herself off from you because the pain of your betrayal was too much to bear so she closed off the love she felt for you into a tight little walled off chamber and swallowed the key.

When you aren't absolutely truthful with your wife or girlfriend, your relationship is doomed. You'll live a double life, keeping secrets and hiding and sneaking and never being happy, and she, being a woman, will see right through you and either leave you physically or leave you mentally.

Your choice is to either tell her everything, or stop doing the things you feel you can't tell her about.

And where does this leave me?

I read stories on Literotica. I've written some too. I download dirty movies sometimes and watch guys with cocks the size of my arm plow into tight 18 year old pussies. I've sat in the dark, with my pants open, reading a story or watching a fuck scene while I squirted cum onto the floor while my wife slept in the other room.

Do I tell her, "Honey, I'm going to go watch Briana Banks get nailed." No.
Do I tell her, "Honey, I'm going to go read a story about a kid that fucks his sister." No.
Do I tell her, "Honey, I'm going into the other room, and I'm going to masturbate for a while." Nope.

What a pathetic wretch I am.

Tom Leykis is right. Leading a double life doesn't make me happy.

The fleeting happiness that comes from an orgasm is happiness that pales to the happiness that comes from having a healthy self respect and a happy wife.