Life’s Strange Turns Ch. 05-06

"Thanks. She just turned 8 months. She's a handful, but sleeping well already, so things are looking up." I took two months off her real age to try to eliminate her knowing that it was Dennis' baby.

Mrs. Johnson looked at Angela closely. Uh-oh. Did she recognize the eyes? They were definitely her family's eyes. Was she thinking about the age and calculating when I must have gotten pregnant?

"I didn't know you got married. How're things going?"

Bad assumption, but I knew what she was doing. She was fishing for information to pass to Dennis. "I'm not married. It's just me and Angela." That was all I was going to say.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. Raising a child alone is tough."

I wanted to change the subject. "Yeah. So how is Dennis doing?"

"He's working too much and trying to work his way up the corporate ladder. Why, I have no idea."

"Tell him I said hello and that I hope things are well with him. He was always a very nice guy."

She stared at me for a second. "Okay. I will. Well, I hope the rest of your summer goes well. She's gorgeous. And you are a beautiful mother."

"Thanks." I started to move away as quickly as possible without making it look like I wanted to get out of there. I just hoped she didn't start speculating about the baby's age.

*******Dennis *******

Mary was a godsend for a while, but I knew I didn't love her and wondered how people in that situation moved on. She had come over to watch another movie with me and we were sitting on the couch. She went into the bedroom to get a blanket. She was always a little cold after she sat still for a while, so this was not abnormal. When she didn't return right away, I got curious. I went into the bedroom to see what was taking so long and she was at my desk. She heard me come in and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. The folder on Jennifer was open on the desk... where I had unfortunately left it, along with the engagement ring, which I had kept.

"I know you don't love me like you loved her, but at some point you need to move on or go try to find her. You can't live with this affecting everything you do. I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure I love you, but I really like being with you, having sex with you, just hanging around you. You are a very nice guy, so it's easy to be with you. I haven't always had nice boyfriends, so that may contribute to how I feel about you. But you keep going back to this file and reminiscing and it's just not right. I feel like I'm competing with a ghost. There's no way I can compete with someone who, no matter how she really is, you've probably built up to be better than she was back then. I feel like I'm cheating on her with you."

"Mary, I'm sorry...." I started before she interrupted me.

"Really? You can actually stand there and say you're sorry? About what? You don't feel sorry for keeping this file around. You pull it out and look at it way more than you should. You even kept the ring and take it out when you think about her. If you can't move on, then maybe I should."

I was stunned. I hadn't thought this far ahead. I knew that she was aware of my problem with letting go of Jennifer, but I didn't think it would push us apart. I can see now that that was stupid. I was not going to marry Mary and she needed to meet somebody who could, at some point, offer her stability and permanent companionship. I was not that man.

"Maybe you're right. I may have completely romanticized my relationship with her. I don't know what I can do about it right now. I know that you deserve someone better than me. I can't offer you anything other than friendship and some sex. Sorry."

She stared at me. "Wow! You actually came out and said that. Over the last couple of months, I think I knew it to be true, but I didn't think you could say that out loud. If I didn't already know that, I would be very upset. But I've known that for a while. I just thought that maybe I could make you forget her."

"I wish you could, too. I can't get her out of my head and I really like you. You are a very beautiful person, wonderful to be with, and we are very good together. I just can't see myself spending the rest of my life with you."

There was stunned silence for a few seconds.

"I wish there was something I could do. But I think I've done everything a good girlfriend can do for that. If you don't love me now, then you never will. I need to go. Maybe I'll call you later."

She stood up and left, leaving me there alone with my thoughts. Not a good thing. I went back into the living room and sat down heavily. What the fuck was I doing? How could I let a beautiful woman like Mary go when Jennifer was nowhere in my life? What was I going to do about it?

There was only one thing to do. I picked up the phone and, not having Jennifer's number, called my parents. My mother answered. I went thru the standard how-are-you and family status that I always did before I got to the point. "Do you remember Jennifer?"

There was a moment of silence. "Do you really have to ask that?"

"Okay, sorry. Have you seen her or heard anything about her? Is she living in the area?"

There was more silence. "Yes, we have seen her."

That's it? No more information? Hello! "And... what about her?"

"Well, she's not married, but she has a baby girl that I saw her with at the mall. Very pretty little baby girl. She looks so happy with her daughter."

It hit me like a brick. Shit! She had moved on and had a kid now. Damn! "Oh, okay. Thanks."

"Dennis, I'm your mother. I know what's going on. You thought she might still be on the market, right? You're still not over her, are you?"

"I guess not. I was just thinking about where she was and what she was doing. I guess that closes that door." I wanted to get off the phone fast.

"If I find out anything else, I'll let you know. That's all I can say right now."

"Okay, thanks. Bye!" I hung up without waiting for her to respond. Damn it! She had moved on. I needed to do so as well.