Light of Dawn Ch. 04

He had never played poorer, not in junior high, not in high school, not in college. One game into the football season found Jeff in an unaccustomed position,average. That was the headline of the local paper: Average Performance by Kramer Results in Choteau Loss. Saturday's loss marked the end of the school's three year winning streak; for the first time Jeff's golden boy status was tarnished.

"I didn't see you in the bleachers," Jeff said. Dawn didn't reply. She shifted as much as the Thunderbird's seatbelt would allow. Turning towards the passenger window, she watched the passing farmlands. "Were you sitting with friends? Dawn?..."

Idiot! Can't you tell when I'm ignoring you? She glanced at him for just a moment. Ugly yellow bruises mottled the tan skin of his arms. A fat, cloth band-aid covered his lanky forearm, hiding a nasty gash that had demanded six stitches to close.

Jeff toed the gas pedal and gingerly shifted gears on his pride and joy, the painstakingly restored vintage yellow Thunderbird. The accumulated injuries caused him to move with the speed and grace of an octogenenarian. She wanted to feel sorry for him in spite of everything that happened but her brother was not an easy man to pity. Dawn folded her arms and leaned her cheek against the window.

The preceding weekend had altered her world. Uncomfortable memories now played on an endless loop. Thinking about what she had done with Liza and Jeff at the party was scary but the thought of what she and Jeff had done Saturday morning alone in the dark service tunnel beneath Jackson Field was absolutely horrifying.

Was it rape if he never forced her? Was it rape if she wanted it more than anything in the world? Probably not, she still had her cherry so it was debatable whether they'd had actual sex or not. Still, it was incest, something horribly out of character for Dawn, something illegal. Their relationship had never been the healthiest but now it was permanently altered, all because she couldn't say no.

Avoiding him over the weekend had been easy enough. She hadn't stayed for the game, of course. According to the newspaper accounts Jeff had taken a battering. The Northern Tech defense treated him like a human tent stake, driving his skinny body to the ground repeatedly. Injuries and exhaustion caused him to spend Sunday hidden in his room. He never even made it downstairs for dinner.

What was odd was that he had been sore after other games yet managed to behave socially. Maybehe was avoidingher. No, Dawn decided, that would have required Jeff Kramer to be a normal person with normal feelings; she definitely knewthat was not the case.

Avoiding her brother forever would have been fine with Dawn had Monday and the realities of a new school week left her any choice. She glanced a green highway sign as the Thunderbird raced down the interstate. Choteau was the next exit, seven more excruciating miles. Melting into the anonymity of campus had never sounded so good; she longed to escape his glare, if only until evening.

Once they reached the campus she was out of the seat and out of the door before Jeff had even set the parking brake.

She struggled hard to concentrate during the first two classes but her brain wouldn't cooperate. Even English Lit failed to hold her attention. Professor James babbled on and on about this and that, text and subtext, while Dawn closed her eyes and remembered how soft and sensuous Liza's hands had felt when they explored her naked body. She remembered that Jeff had appreciated Liza's touch as well, his hard penis attested to that.

The sight of her brother's naked body was something she would never forget. True, Jeff was a few pounds short of perfection but he looked far better than anything she had ever seen. When he first touched her she thought her heart would stop.

Her hearthad stopped in the tunnel; she was sure of it. When he touched her...when she touched him. One of Jeff's teammates, Willie Thompson, had walked in on them, unknowingly preserving her virginity. Hymen or not, Dawn decided it essentially was sex. With Jeff.

Tara and Jenny would have been so jealous if they ever found out. Her two best friends were among Jeff's staunchest admirers. They had lusted after his long, lean body ever since they were old enough to lust.

By the end of the day Dawn had relived the weekend again and again. The memories provided a constant heat on her skin, coaxing a gallon of sweat from her body. She retreated to the fountain in the center of the commons. It was a place she often went to toss pennies and make childish wishes. It was a good place to think; this time she hoped the peaceful sounds of flowing water would help her forget.

Spray settled on her clothes mixing with the sweat. She remembered the way Jeff had expertly touched her body. How his hot, wet tongue had probed her mouth. For a moment she wished she had responded differently. She wished she had been more welcoming to his tongue's explorations. She wished she had done some exploration of her own. Red heat spread across her body, tinting her freckled skin from chest to scalp.

Bending over the cement pool Dawn dipped two fingers in the icy cool water. She spread the moisture across her neck watching the bronze face of the school's founder glare at her. The dead, metallic eyes bore into her soul. For a moment she feared the statue at the center of the fountain spray might spring to life, Bertrand Choteau's mutton-chopped visage giving name to her sin.

Incest.

She reached in her pocket and extracted two shiny copper pennies. Two pennies meant two wishes. She tossed the first penny, wishing she'd spent the entire weekend at home. Aside from Jeff's arguments with Daddy, nothing bad ever happened at home.

She pinched the second penny between thumb and forefinger. The second wish was much more difficult to make. Since his first touch at the party, it had bounced around in her head. The final penny splashed through the surface of the shallow pool. As it fluttered to the mosaic tile bottom she gave silent voice to her desire.

"Dawn?" Her shoulders flinched the moment he called her name. Jeff shattered what little peace she had found beside the running water. Time to face reality; time to face the fact that the most beautiful man on the planet was also the most dangerous. "Look at me, Dawn. Please." She fumbled through her empty pocket for another coin, desperate to undo the second wish. "We need to talk." Without a hint of urgency or regret, his voice was every bit as cool and fluid as the pool of water. If he had a conscience it wasn't putting up much of a fight.

"You can't ignore me forever." She could try. "Come on, Sunshine. I'm trying to be a nice guy."No, you're pretending to be a nice guy. "Fine, keep staring into space, just listen. I was drunk out of my fucking mind at that party and I would have done anything Liza asked. And you...I know you're my kid sister but you looked...you looked so..." His explanation petered out. Alert the media, Jeff Kramer was actually at a loss for words.

Dawn didn't respond. She couldn't. Friday night he had been drunk when he touched her and even then it was all for Liza's sake. For some reason those facts weren't nearly as comforting as they should have been. A tear squeezed between her clenched eyelids and splashed into the water as he explained Friday night away. But why had he touched her Saturday? Why had he fucked her like one of his generic whores inside the service tunnel at Jackson Field?

"Please talk to me," Jeff said. "Tell me it's alright or tell me to go to Hell. Stop pretending like I don't exist."And surrender my only weapon? Years of observing her brother's fights with Daddy had taught Dawn an important lesson. Ignoring Jeff was pretty much the only way to crack through his thick shell. Love him or hate him, Jeff didn't care as long as you acknowledged his relevance. The only way she could hurt him was by ignoring the adorable way his voice cracked while he pretended to be hurt or by occupying her eyes with something other than his lean, handsome body. She desperately wanted to hurt him.

After a moment of silence his voice raised. "Fine! If you're going to pout like a little brat go right ahead. I'm through feeling guilty. You were the one dyking it up with Liza. You were the one acting like a total slut in the tunnel, practically begging for it!"

Crossing her arms, she willed the tears away.

"I felt it. You were wet for me, Sunshine, so stop pretending to hate me. Talk to me, damn it!" She wouldn't, not now, maybe not ever again. He groaned; it was a frustrated, agonized groan. "You better look for a new way home because I don't want any more to do with you."

Tears splashed freely into the fountain once he stomped away. She allowed herself to cry, sobbing and shivering under the spray until a renewed breeze made the chill unbearable. She stepped back, bumping into a tall, rangy object. A big hand draped her slim shoulder. Dawn was unready to face her brother. Nevertheless, she turned to do just that. "Jeff..."

Jase Riley gripped her shoulder firmly, smashing any hopes of running. Dawn was surprised at the frailty of her voice as she begged to be let go.

"Shhhh " Jase put a finger to his lips. "I won't hurt you." His fingers dug into her flesh. "I'm not like your asshole brother; I would never make you cry." He smeared a tear across her cheek. His fingers were sticky; Dawn didn't want to know why.

When they first met, Jase had seemed to be no more than an attractive male admirer, a cute guy who offered her something to drink at the party. She later discovered the purple drink he put to her lips was laced with a date rape drug culled from his parents' pharmaceuticals warehouse. Had Liza not happened along in time, there was no telling what might have happened. Nevertheless, the incident was a bitter first taste of the darker side of college life.

Shiny copper glinted briefly on the bottom of the fountain. In case it wasn't too late to amend her wish, she prayed Jase Riley would get what he deserved.

A struggle to break free from his grip, prompted Jase to wrap his free arm around her waist. At such close proximity Dawn saw the true Jase Riley. How could she have ever thought him handsome? Away from the party, the music, and the beer, his tangled mop of blond hair was greasy and filthy. His cracked, peeling lips spread into an incomplete smile, gaping where a bottom front tooth had been knocked free. His right cheek was cratered with dozens of acne scars. She wondered how could such trash could share the same gene pool as Choteau University's wealthiest patrons.

Each time she struggled he squeezed her shoulder tighter, hurting her more. "Stop squirming. I only want to talk. I've been trying to work up the courage all day." He must have stalked her, waiting to catch her alone.

Dawn glanced around the commons, searching for someone, anyone. Most everyone had vacated the area. A few students loitered outside the University store but they were too far away to realize what was going on. Jase's mismatched eyes, one muddy brown and the other an unnatural violet, drifted southward. He shamelessly ogled her chest. With manners as ugly as his face it was little wonder he had to drug girls. "I saw you make another wish. Did it come true?"

It will if you break your neck.

"The silent treatment? Oh come on, Dawn. You were a little Charlie Chatterbox at the party. Nothing's changed since then." Could he really be so stupid? Everything had changed. He traced a finger across her jaw. "You really are beautiful; you know that?" Dawn turned her head. She didn't want to look at his ugly face. "Little wonder someone would go to so much trouble just to get inside your panties." He reached under her skirt and patted her on the butt.

Dawn stiffened, then whirled in an attempt to break free. "Keep your hands off of me, asshole. I swear I'll go to the campus police and---"

"And what, tell them I slipped something into your drink? You know how many girls have gone to the cops with that story?" She didn't answer. "A lot! And you know how many ofthem were believed?" He pretended to count on his fingers. "None."

"They'll believe me," Dawn said.

"They won't." His arrogance was repugnant. "You know why they won't? Because, my last name can beat up your last name. Long after your shitty brother and his shitty records are forgotten, Choteau University will still be cashing my family's checks."

Dawn grunted as she twisted in his grip. She kicked at the air as Jase lifted her from the ground. He was so big, as tall as Jeff and twice as broad. She had never felt so small or helpless as she did in his arms. He brushed her freckled cheek, dragging his sticky fingers down her neck and over the swell of her breasts.

Liza appeared, seemingly from nowhere. "Jason Riley, you disgusting piece of shit! Get away from her!" Jase dropped Dawn, prompting the blond cheerleader to slam into the much larger male. She caught him off-balance, knocking him off his feet and into the water.

"Jesus Christ, Liza!" Jase sputtered in the knee-deep pool. He climbed out of the fountain, utterly drenched with cold water. Liza rushed him again, driving the toe of her black pump into his shin. Jase dropped to one knee. "You crazy little cunt!" he groaned, rubbing his sore leg.

"Keep away from my little friend or I swear I'll hunt you down, rip off your balls and cram them down your eye sockets." Liza's grisly threat didn't seem to work. Jase struggled to his feet.

Flicking his wrist, he splattered water on the blonde's creamy cashmere sweater "We were only talking," Jase said. More water streamed from his clothes as he took a soggy step towards them.

"Don't you come near, or else." Liza wagged her finger in warning. Unless the blond was hiding a karate black belt beneath her short denim skirt there was very little she could do to dissuade the much larger man. "So help me God, I'll tell Jeff Kramer what you tried to do to his little, baby sister."

Jase traded his scowl for an ugly, gape-toothed smile. He clucked his tongue. "You are onestupid little cunt eater; you know that?" He reached a soggy finger to touch the point of Liza's chin. She slapped it away. "Dawn knows better. She knows big brother won't protect her; he won't make the bad men go away. When it comes to bad men, Jeff Kramer is the worst of them all." He winked at Dawn. "I'll catch you later, beautiful." Jase sloshed away, a trail of soggy drips marking his path.

Ronnie, Jase and Jeff, maybe she had become some kind of magnet, polarized to attract rotten men. Dawn sniffled and rubbed her sore shoulder. Her fair skin was prone to bruising and Jase's rough treatment was sure to birth a nasty, purple mark.

"Poor kid," Liza's fingers joined Dawn's own in working the tender flesh. "I never meant for you to get mixed up with that asshole. Let's find that brother of yours."

Liza walked Dawn to the parking lot. The redheaded girl was not surprised to see that her brother had carried out his threat. "I don't believe this!" Liza spat. The yellow Thunderbird was long gone, a puddle of leaked oil remained in it's place. "What kind of man drives off and leaves his little, baby sister?"

The kind of man in newspapers and on magazine covers. The kind of man every woman fantasizes about.

Liza offered a ride home, rescuing Dawn from the ignominy of calling Daddy.

Somehow, being near Liza didn't affect Dawn the same way as being near Jeff. A strange fact considering Liza had not only been an active participant in the weekends indiscretions, she had been the instigator. Liza had been the first to touch and lick Dawn's most private places, places no one else had ever even seen. Despite the pleasure reaped from the Sapphic experimentation, there was no love just raw sexuality. With Jeff it had been completely different. The sexuality was still there (it was there in force) but there was also a strong undercurrent of love. He was her brother after all.

"Has Jeff always been such a dick?" Liza asked. Sometimes it seemed that way, but Jeff had been a very different person once. "I know he's your brother, and you probably love him no matter what but it doesn't change the fact that he's a grade-A, major league dick." Dawn didn't argue; she couldn't.

Liza wasn't a maniac behind the wheel, so the drive home took twice as long as it did with Jeff. The yellow Thunderbird was conspicuously absent from the Kramers' driveway; in it's place was a dented silver station wagon. "Looks like you've got company," Liza said.

It was the second Monday of the month. So shaken by the events of the weekend, she had completely forgotten about TV night. "Jenny and Tara, they're my two best friends. We're afraid of drifting apart, now that high school is over, so we get together every other Monday for pizza and TV."

"Sounds sweet. I miss my old friends back in Myrtle Beach. Especially Erica." Liza sighed. Her eyes lost focus; after a moments silence she came back. "Home seems so far away. Anymore, it seems like I only make it back for summer break."

Dawn made a bold decision. "Would you like to stay? We always order too much pizza and there's plenty of room around the TV. You'd like Tara and Jenny."

"I'm sure I would, especially if they're as cute as you." Liza smiled. Her features were so soft and pleasant, like something out of an old magazine.

"You'll stay?"

"Sorry, Red." Liza shook her head. "I can't. Not tonight."

Dawn nodded, feeling incredibly stupid. How could she be so presumptuous? Someone like Liza must have had a million better places to be. "Oh, okay, maybe some other time."

"Definitely some other time." Liza smiled sweetly. "I like you, Dawn. I like you a lot."

"I like you too."

Liza smiled a sad sort of smile and touched Dawn's hair. "Such a sweet kid." Dawn slumped against the seat; even Liza saw her as little more than a child. "Do you hate me for taking advantage of you?"

"You didn't---"

"Yes, I did. You were drunk and alone and utterly lost."And scared, don't forget scared. "You're Jeff's little, baby sister. I wanted to protect you, to keep creeps like Jason Riley away." She touched Dawn's hair again. "Sorry, Little Red, I'm not being completely honest. I wanted you. I wanted you like I'd never wanted anyone else." Dawn blushed, she had never been wanted before.

Liza laughed and snorted. "You must think I'm some kind of weirdo perv." She made a motion to cross her heart, "I swear I don't have an incest fetish. It was just some weird feeling I had. I mean, who doesn't get all puddly for Jeff Kramer; even I'm not immune."

"He loves you," Dawn blurted, knowing full well it was a stupid thing to say. Anyone with eyes could see the enormous flame Jeff carried for the blond cheerleader.

Liza looked less than surprised by the revelation. "That's because I don't bore him."

"Bore him?"

Liza's bright eyes dimmed for a just a moment. "Something an old girlfriend told me once. I've..." Liza swallowed. "I've been with a lot of girls but she was the only one...the only one I ever felt anything for." She chuckled. "Wouldn't you know that damn brother of yours had to steal her away from me. Then after less than a week he dumped her because and I quote 'she bored him'."

How cruel and cold and so utterly like Jeff. "Sorry, I know how he can be." She did, better than anyone. Dawn grasped the door handle, hesitating for a moment. She leaned over and impulsively kissed the blond girl's cheek.

Liza smiled, touching the spot Dawn had kissed. "Little Red, you are just the sweetest thing." Liza returned the kiss brushing her lips against the redhead's freckled cheek. The kiss traveled to the side of Dawn's mouth, then directly over her lips. Liza's tongue delved Dawn's mouth.