Like a Pulsing Star

"I think I loved you too..." She said looking into me.

I heard the light crunching sound of feet on the beach and realised that a small crowed of silent onlookers had surrounded us, not surprising we were right next to the fire. They realised that we were aware of them they began to cheer and whistle. The moment was ruined but I couldn't help but laugh. We looked up at them with a resigned busted look smiling from ear to ear.

"Well...?" Anna said

"Are you going to let us get on with it? ...Or just stand around invading our privacy?" I could hear real irritation in her voice but she was still smiling.

"Get a fucking room!" an angry sounding onlooker jeered. Anna tensed. I suddenly realised that a few of them were quite drunk, I must have been so absorbed with Anna that I hadn't even realised there was a party happening around us. I also realised that more people had appeared than just common friends. Adam wasn't a generally very social person but parties at this time of year were very popular. I realised Adam was standing there too laughing hysterically. We got to our feet reluctantly.

"Dude... I always knew there was something between you two." he said

"Ha-ha I knew it!" "I never actually thought either of you would ever do anything he-he-he."

"If I had waited for this stupid guy any longer he would have been kissing my dentures!" Anna smiled fondly at me.

"That was hot, you made my fucking day!" Eric said and grabbed us around the shoulders.

"...Definitely going to miss you two." ...More cheering from the crowd.

All of a sudden I realised what my gut had been telling me was wrong since the one voice of anger in the crowd. Anna had a boyfriend, any woman as beautiful as her usually does. He was standing ten feet away glowering at us. I felt all the happiness that had built up over the last couple days blow out of me like air escaping from a balloon. This had all been so perfect and now there was going to be a bad scene and Adam's party was going to get all fucked up. I didn't know what to do I felt sick I felt like telling the guy I was sorry, I didn't feel sorry. I wanted to disappear but I knew that I had to take some responsibility for the situation. I wished that the man glaring at us would understand how much I liked Anna. I hoped I deserved her as much as I cared for her.

"Get a room that charges by the fucking hour" The man stepped forward, the crowed went dead quiet. Now Anna looked like she was ashamed but there was also furious anger I saw in her boiling to the surface under her skin.

"Who invited you?" Anna spat the words at him.

I had never liked Dan I had felt that he was egotistical and stupid. Looking at him with the last few days in perspective I wasn't sure if that had been jealousy all along. I realised that I had wanted Anna since I could remember, that had been the reason I had felt embarrassed to relate to her in public. I had been too scared of the terrible pain she could cause me if she had not felt the same. I also realised that fear had been unjustified all these years, the reason she had abused me was probably from her own frustration with our situation that in turn fuelled my own uncertainty. We had to be both adults before we could even bear to talk to each other and we hadn't been able to be comfortable together until yesterday. It all seemed so futile in retrospect.

Dan just stood there letting his anger choke him.

"This is a public beach; I can be here if I want to be." He pouted.

"I came to be with you, fuck you." He gestured in way that made him look like he was trying to be a badass gangster or rapper or something.

"I am so sick of you and your shit, you never wanted me, I tried to love you and you didn't even care!"

"I was only ever around to stroke your fucking ego and fuck you."

Anna's face was contorted and red; tears were running down her face.

"Everybody line up Anna' ell blow you all like the bitch she is." Dan stepped toward the three of us.

He was a few inches shorter than me but even more muscular. He had short black hair that was jelled carefully and a closely shaved boyish face. Dan was a strikingly handsome man in a conventional way a sharp contrast to my tall angular, long hair and beard.

I had liked fighting at one point in high school but had grown out of it. I couldn't believe that this longer antlers bullshit was actually happening and under my piano wire tight nerves I laughed at how cliché it was.

Adam stepped in front of me and I heard a sharp sound as Dan hit him hard in the face three more followed before Adam could even get his guard up and he grabbed Dan and stumbled over him onto the ground pulling him down. Muffled fighting sounds, rasping breath came from a tangled heap of fists and arms. I grabbed Dan off the top of the pile pulling him free of Adam who was gasping and holding his bleeding face.

"Fuck off" I told him putting as much effort into looking intimidating as I could.

Dan got to his feet energetically and came at me. I blocked the same punch that had surprised Adam and countered at his face as hard as I could but my footing was bad and the shot went wide. I corrected my footing and blocked again with my right arm sweeping his fist passed my shoulder. I swung with my left hand this time, a small amount of martial art training had identified my cross as a weakness but it collided with his cheek and surprised him for a split second as I stepped back, balanced and jabbed with all the strength in my right arm. I felt the shock of the impact all the way to behind my shoulders the knuckles on both my hands hurt. Dan staggered back and I slipped on some loose gravel and fell down. I saw his leg swing at me but my hands were breaking my fall. The force of his ankle hit my neck right beside my trachea and knocked me over I couldn't breath and there was an intense throbbing pain in my neck I coughed for air. A foot hit under my ribcage. I rolled over and got up in one motion and held my breath to keep from coughing. A fist hit my face and another and another. Dan was fuming throwing as many punches he could wildly but surprisingly weakly into my face. The hits felt like grenades going off behind my face. Adam hit Dan in the side of the head and I took the opportunity to cough for breath again, I tasted blood. People grabbed Dan and subdued him and I allowed myself to collapse to the earth.

When I learned how to breathe again I looked around me and realised that there was Adam beside me his damaged face in his hands and a huddle of people nearer the fire. A concerned woman I couldn't recognise in the darkness asked me if I was all right I nodded.

"Dan is hurt" she said worry apparent in her voice.

"Good" I thought, but then...

"This is perfect any body else that knows first aid is too drunk to be useful and if I go near him I will probably just get hit again." I realised.

I heard the sounds of someone vomiting in the huddle. I realised that I had to do something, I was still responsible for the situation and I was feeling more like an idiot every second. I pushed my way through the crowed and in an unfamiliar voice demanded that people stand back and give me some light. Sour vomit smell stung my nose I could see Dan lying on his side breathing in quick breaths, I still couldn't see. Anna was standing beside me I told her to help me lift him and we wrapped our arms under his shoulders he stumbled between us up to the cabin. Real light, I could see a red bruise on his temple where I had hit him, the pupil of his eye was dilated and instantly I suspected that he had a concussion. I loaded him in my truck and drove to the emergency room of the local hospital talking to Dan and enduring obscenities in return thank full that they indicated he was still in pretty reasonable shape. The nurse in the emergency room, an unhealthy looking old woman with dark circles under her eyes initially thought that I was the one that was needed help, blood was caked to my beard under my nose and I had a fat lip. Even after I had explained the situation she had a look at me, she told me that she was going to keep him in the hospital overnight to keep an eye on him but that I could relax he didn't seem to be in any real danger.

By the time I got back to the party it had all but disbanded Eric and Anna were the only ones still there.

"I am a total idiot, I'm so sorry" Anna almost mouthed the words she spoke them so quietly.

Eric looked at her in a paternal way, disappointed but much more concerned about his sister than his party.

"My fault" I said flatly.

"I made out with Anna, I provoked him and then I punched him." The memory of making out with Anna escalated my heart rate.

Anna looked hurt, being dismissed in the third person.

"Dan was always and asshole" she confessed to the floor.

"I don't know what I saw in him."

"I was too afraid to dump him, he yelled at me, threatened me..."

"Shut up Anna, I know what you saw in him." Adam cut off his sister. Anna and I stared at Adam.

"... You saw a way to stop thinking about Karl, I knew all along."

"You idiots have built your lives around avoiding each other."

Fully sick of blaming ourselves we all looked at the floor feeling stupid.

It was only just before midnight but none of us felt much like partying so the three of us decided to retire for the night. I didn't want to make the drive again so I slept on a blanket on the floor. The cabin was mostly a summer house but it was insulated and pretty tight, it was mostly one room with a wood stove providing both heat and a cooking surface. There was no running water. Like many cabins it had a loft large enough for a bed and a small desk. Anna and I arranged our bedding parallel about three feet apart took our trips to the outhouse. We talked quietly for a while until I heard her breathing become regular and slow I drifted off to a relaxing sleep.

When I opened my eyes I felt groggy and comfortable, a dim blue light shone through the window. Sometime during the night Anna had moved her mat beside mine and was lying with her head on my shoulder. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. She looked up at me, smiled and mouthed "hey, there" silently.

She reached across my chest and grabbed my hand pulling it to her. I rolled onto my side and we held each other for a long time in the dim early morning light, feeling sleepy warm and happy the night before fading into memory. All of a sudden her eyes opened wide and I could tell an idea had occurred to her as surely as if she had a light bulb appear over her head.

"Let's swim!"

"I didn't bring my bathing suit" I said

"Wear what you like I don't plan on wearing anything" she returned.

The idea of her seeing the cold water reduce my dick to a wrinkled pathetic turnip scared me. "Uh, I don't think..."

"I won't think less of you." She laughed reading my mind.

I couldn't think around it so I nodded and got up pulling my pants up at the same time.

I didn't bother with a shirt but I did grab my blanket and a towel to warm up after, she did the same.

"Race you there!" Anna said as we quietly stepped out in the cold blue morning.

I knew exactly where she meant to go it wasn't exactly a beach but it was private, it was a rocky cove that had trees almost all the way down to the water. The path was mossy and almost totally straight. The trees blurred past changing from the evergreens near the beach into a grove of birches and thick maples as we ran fast, barefoot, laughing and panting. She was a better swimmer and more at home in the water but running was something I did a lot of and I cut in front of her as we neared the cove. Trees came almost to the water and rocks between the sizes of people's heads and large appliances fell off steeply into the water the surrounding area was covered in moss.

Quickly I slipped all my clothes off and jumped and in one stride jumped to a large rock and dived into the water skimming the bottom dodging boulders then surfacing facing the cove. My breath caught in my throat as I saw her clearly, striding almost casually into the water naked. She smiled broadly at me; she liked me looking at her right now. Her nipples stiffened visibly as the cold water rushed past her thighs. She rolled onto her side as she started swimming toward me. Anna looked into my eyes keeping her head upright, probably so that she wouldn't embarrass me. We treaded water for a while; I enjoyed the feeling of the cold water rushing around me it felt different, better to be naked. Anna grabbed me; I could feel her soft skin her firm breasts pressing into my chest, her hipbones. We sank beneath the water not kicking as the water got to my eyes I closed them. Anna held her cheek to mine; I could feel her heart beating faster and faster through her chest. My shrunken dick pressed into her hip, I didn't care like I thought I would. I let go first and swam up for air. We were both panting and laughing as we swam back to shore.

I realised I was freezing cold, my hands were white and I was shaking. I towelled off quickly and wrapped myself in my blanked shivering.

"Ye-you are some kind of f-fucking siren now trying to kill me?" I chattered smiling.

She smiled back and punched me playfully in the shoulder.

Let me in silly she smiled. I opened up my blanket numbly disbelieving. Anna rolled in so her back was to me. I held her around her waist. Her warmth was amazing, exhilarating, and the round cheeks of her butt pressed into my pelvis; we spooned. I rubbed my feet against hers. I started to get hard before I even stopped shaking; it felt like my heart was pounding in my throat.

"Mmmm," Anna breathed.

"So warm...!"

"...Better than shivering alone in your blanket?"

"Mmm I replied. ...this feels so good, too good."

"I know." It feels like we should have been doing this forever". She said with an ironic voice that was annoyed.

"I still love you, I always have, I was so afraid you didn't feel the same way... I couldn't bear it. I couldn't tell you." I said.

"Promise me something?" She said as she wiggled a little bit bringing us impossibly close together.

My gut tightened until it was so tight I was in real pain.

"If you have something important to tell me, fucking say it you dork!"

Warmth radiated through me, my erection pulsed between the cheeks of her butt. She rolled over and pulled me on top of her; I supported myself on my elbows and kissed her lightly my hair fell around us sealing us into veiled, darker world. We kissed deeply, my mouth felt hot I even imagined I could feel her pulse through her tongue. She looked so warm and pink; sweat was starting to accumulate between us where my skin touched hers. Her neck looked thick and beautiful, strong lying down, nothing about Anna was fragile. The certainty of the situation descended on me, I was going to have sex with this beautiful woman and I couldn't imagine ever wanting to do anything more. Adrenaline choked me. The fondness in her eyes melted me. I found that I had let my arms relax putting a lot of weight on her pressing us together. I rolled off of her to let her breath and put a hand on her shoulder, I spread my fingers and pulled my hand down slowly feeling her collarbone, the swell of her breast. Her nipple passed under my middle finger. I petted her hip and kissed her again. I alternated pawing her breast and petting the side of her hip for a while just loving the feel of her smooth skin as I kissed her all over her face, I put a finger just under her breast against her ribcage and moved it out to her shoulder her skin was moist. Sweat glistened on her forehead.

Anna moved even closer and straddled my leg I could feel the mound and slit of her sex with my thigh, it was wet and hot. She rocked against me slowly.

"D-do it!" she gasped "Right now!"

I touched her lips and rolled her a few inches away so I could reach down to her pussy. I brushed my fingers over her mound through her fine hair. I lightly brushed her slit a few times with a finger, I held my thumb against where her clit was and pressed my middle finger into her warm inviting opening. I held my hand like this and rocked my thumb back and forth. I lifted my thumb and pressed my finger as far as it would go and began rubbing slowly up and down pressing up towards her belly my mind was in her vagina. She felt slick, intensely hot. I increased the speed and she rocked harder into me moaning softly. I returned my thumb to her clit and teased it. I pressed my index finger into her as well. Anna gasped I could tell she was close as I began to rapidly fuck her with my fingers until I could feel her tighten around my fingers and shudder hard. After her orgasm subsided she kissed me deeply again.

"Ok that was fun." She smiled at me glowing.

"For real now though, fuck me." She gasped, she spread eagled beside me and encouraged me onto her with her arm with her other arm she grabbed my dick and pressed it to her sex. She was soaking wet. I moved my hips just enough to bury the tip into her then farther I stroked slowly, gently into her. We patiently found a rhythm and began to comfortably heave into each other. I could already feel my impending climax rise and spread itself through my whole being.

"Oh fuck!" I began to orgasm pouring load after load of cum into her. Pleasure rolled through me smoothly, rhythmically.

"S-sorry I said..." ...Beginning to withdraw myself.

"Don't be" she said and held me to her with her legs wrapped around mine.

"Its Ok" She looked fondly up at me with her large eyes smiling from ear to ear.

I relaxed "you made me do it." We both laughed.

"Shut up you!" she punched my shoulder again a tear slid down her cheek.

I never fully softened in her. Lying there connected with her at the hip and feeling warm, shaking with excitement and comfortable thrilled me for long beautiful moments.

I grabbed her shoulders from behind and rolled over so I was on my back and she was lying on my chest.

"So I suck..." I said.

"Show me how it's done."

"Ahhh pay attention" she gasped and concentrated looking seriously at my chest as she lifted herself up and began rocking back and forth on top of me. I matched her thrusts and soon we had a rhythm again and the blanket slid off of our wet, pulsing sweating bodies releasing a heavy musk. I put my hands on her shoulders again just to feel the way she moved. I spread my hands wide and pulled them slowly down over her glistening collar bone over her soft breasts and down the hard muscles in her abdomen and left my hands palm up touching her with my fingers just inside the hollow between where her abdominal muscles and her inner thighs started and felt the smooth motions from her hip.

Morning birds were singing and I could hear softly obscene wet noises from our union. She leaned down and my hands were sandwiched between our warm sweating fleshes feeling her slide back and fourth I drew my hands up the side of her body and held the bottom of her ribcage. Her pace quickened as she approached her own orgasm. I could feel the walls of her vagina contract around me; I could feel her breathing change with my hands. Her back arched, her head rolled back and she opened her mouth in a silent scream for a long moment. She grunted inhaled and moaned shaking her head as she rode me feverishly, me thrusting up to her as hard as I could to match her.

As the last aftershocks of her orgasm subsided, her pace reduced our sloppy noises intensified. I could feel an abundance of warm fluid around my groin.

"Oh, uh I think I can manage that... Uhh..." I grunted and rolled us together again so that her shoulders were off the blanket all together and on the mossy ground. She lifted her knees up and raised herself with her feet to allow me deeper access. I pounded into her, both of us panting hard and moaning.