Like We Used To

Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things... like we used to?
Oh, like we used to...

**************

Tina and Gayle could see that something was different. Both Shae and Raegan looked at each other with so much love that they felt it and on the entire trip home Shae was holding onto Raegan for dear life. Shae knew that she would likely not see Raegan again after the weekend and found herself fighting back tears the entire trip home.

Gayle and Tina left immediately when they reached Shae's house. Raegan helped her take her bags inside and made for the door.

"Rae, please wait," Shae said in tears.

"Don't make this difficult Shae. We can never be and we both know it, last night was great but it was a mistake. Go get married. Live happily ever after and have tons of babies. He can offer you more than I will ever be able to," Raegan smiled half-heartedly and then she was gone.

Shae knew that Raegan felt the same way she did, that she never meant what she said when she left, but the words echoed in her mind. She spent the rest of the time crying and when Rick returned, she didn't know what to tell him. The week went by and Shae fought hard not to go to Raegan's work, fall on her knees and beg Raegan to be with her. The days flew by and before she knew it, it was Friday, the day before her wedding.

This was supposed to be the one of the happiest days of her life, preparing the final arrangements, but all she thought about was Raegan and the way she had made love to her. Raegan made her feel things, physically and emotionally, that she never thought was possible. Her family wrote her mood off as nerves and went by making the final arrangements.

Raegan was moody and no one at work wanted to come close to her. Kelly had fled from their shared apartment because she couldn't live with the moodiness. Raegan was standing at the airport, going through security to board her flight to Cape Town so she could make her MMA bout. She boarded the plane and thanked whatever God there was that she was not going to be in the same city that Shae was getting married in the following day.

Raegan's flight landed and she checked into her hotel along with her coach and team. He had been telling her all week that she had to get her head in the fight if she wanted to win. Raegan simply tuned his voice out and traveled back to the most magical night of her life. She went to bed early and slept the sleep of the dead.

*****************

Shae was wearing Raegan's hoody the night before her wedding, absorbing the smell that was so distinctly Raegan. She spent the night alone, looking through the pictures of the previous weekend. She fell asleep clinging to the hoody and a picture of her and Raegan pressed against her chest. Tina woke her the following morning, the wedding day.

They helped her get ready and right before Shae was bound to walk down the aisle Tina spoke, "A woman who is getting married never looks that depressed. You love Raegan and if you do this you will be unhappy forever."

"She doesn't love me, otherwise she would have been here instead of Cape Town for a stupid fight for some stupid title. She would have asked me to not get married and be with her instead, but she's not," Shae said angrily.

Tina and Gayle lined up and followed the flower girls down the aisle as the march started. Shae's father kissed his daughter and she hooked her arm in his. Shae looked amazing in her white dress, her olive skin glowing and her black hair done up in a lose bun. The dress was bare around the shoulders and she carried a bouquet of white lilies. They approached the alter and he kissed his daughter and took his seat next to his wife.

He placed his daughter's hand in Rick's, kissed her and took his seat. Shae's thoughts were far removed from where she was. It was time to say her vows when she realized that if she loved Raegan she would have to fight for her. Raegan loved her enough to walk away and let her make her own decision. Did she love Raegan enough to walk away from Rick?

The priest started the ceremony, Shae found herself wishing that Raegan would storm in and yell that she objects to this union. The priest rambled on and when it was time to say her vows Shae voiced what she felt. "I can't do this, I'm sorry," everyone gasped when Shae turned to face them.

"I fell in love with someone else. She is amazing and if I want to be with her I have to fight for her, that means that I cannot get married now," Shae pulled up her dress and started running back down the aisle, Tina followed.

"I got you a ticket in case you changed your mind, but we need to hurry," Tina said jogging beside the runaway bride. Shae laughed as she ran outside, feeling free.

***********

Raegan looked so beat up, she had a deep cut above her eye and her lip was split, but she still looked beautiful to Shae. Without a word Shae ran to Raegan and kissed her. She was still wearing her wedding dress and knew that she must have been some sight in the world of serious fighting as a sport standing in her wedding dress. "Marry me, Rae," Shae said against Raegan's lips.

Raegan cried right there, she couldn't believe how her life changed that day.

**********

Shae was jolted out of her trance and brought back to reality when Rick said "I do."

Shae repeated her vows and followed it by her own "I do," tears streaking her face. Everyone assumed it was tears of happiness, but Shae cried because she was too cowardly to fight for what she truly wanted in life.

"You may kiss the bride," Rick kissed her and Shae realized that the love that she and Raegan shared that night was too good to ever be true.

**********

Raegan was warming up, getting ready for the fight. Ten minutes before the fight started that night, she forced herself to block out all thought of Shae. Her coach helped her secure her chest guard, wrapped her hands and pulled her gloves on. He carried the mouth guard and threw the TapOut robe over Raegan's shoulders.

"This is the fight for the world champion title, Misha Tate vs our very own Raegan Shaw! Weighing in at 140 pounds of pure muscle please welcome Misha Tate!" The announcer shouted to the crowd.

Raegan's opponent walked out toward the ring to cheer of the crowd, "The challenger, weighing in at 135pounds, Raegan Shaw!" The crowd shouted and Raegan walked to the ring.

The ref went through the rules. Raegan secured her mouth guard and the bell rang.

They circled each other, waiting for the first impact. Raegan moved, faked a right jab and landed a left one Misha's jaw. It went downhill for Raegan from there, she was distracted. Misha landed punch after punch, splitting Raegan's lip and eye. The bell rang for the end of round one. After some pep talk and Vaseline applied to her cuts Raegan stepped back in.

Round two went eerily similar, Kelly approached the coach, "Let me have a word with her."

Raegan deemed the fight lost, she was tired and hurting. She wanted to tap out and give in. "Rae, you can do better! Come on, stop being so distracted. Think Shae, think of how she ripped your heart out for the second time. Go get that fucking title," Kelly shouted at Raegan.

The bell sounded and Raegan felt the hurt of love lost surging through her. She found her centre and landed punch after punch, weakening Misha's defences, when her arms went down Raegan reacted quickly and landed a spinning kick to Misha's head, knocking her out cold.

Kelly ran into the ring and Raegan collapsed from tiredness, "the winner of this round and our new world champion, Raegan Shaw!"

The ref held her arm up in victory and Kelly secured the belt around her waist. Kelly took Raegan's face in her hands and kissed her passionately. "I love you Raegan Shaw, I always have."

Raegan looked at Kelly in shock, but she knew that Kelly was the only one that was ever there for her and she did indeed hold a soft spot in Raegan's heart, "I love you too."

They sealed it with another kiss and the crowd cheered.

Raegan fell into bed that night, holding Kelly tightly. Raegan felt in content with her life, Kelly wasn't her dream girl but in the end she was a dream come true.

****************

A few months later Raegan and Kelly were packing up their lives to move to America. After Raegan's win she had become a sports celebrity and was offered numerous sponsorships in America. That night they had a farewell party, they both dressed and left for the party.

Raegan and Kelly walked in hand in hand, everyone was there, all of Raegan's colleagues and Kelly's friends. They walked and greeted everyone and Raegan was shocked to see Shae standing between the crowd.

"Hi, I uhm heard from Riley that you were immigrating and just felt like I had to say goodbye," Shae was on the verge of tears. She wished she was the one going with Raegan.

"Hi, uhm yeah. Didn't think you'd be interested. How is married life?" Raegan asked with a smile.

"Okay I guess. Sometimes I wish I was strong enough to have walked away and fought for you," Shae let a tear slip and as if on cue Rick and Kelly came over.

"Hey Shae, Rick," Kelly greeted warmly.

Raegan placed her arm around Kelly's waist, "Hi," Shae and Rick responded.

They talked for a while longer and Raegan just wanted to escape the conversation. "Oh, honey. Riley and some other people are looking for you," Kelly said feeling Raegan's distress.

Raegan excused herself and Rick talked to some other people, "Look after her, Kelly. She's one of a kind," Shae said.

"I will, I really love her," Kelly smiled and joined Raegan.

The party droned on and when they said their goodbyes the DJ played them a sad song. He played Bok van Blerk's Tyd Om Te Trek (Time To Move.)

Raegan and Kelly cried as the song continued to play. They hugged and kissed everyone goodbye and made their way to their hotel room.

************

Raegan and Kelly made love that night, the room bathed in the yellow dancing light of candles. Raegan got up and walked to the bathroom, her tattoo in Hebrew glistening in the flickering flames of the candles and the sweat on her back.

"What does your tattoo mean baby?" Kelly asked after years of wondering.

"Love lost, love found, love unfulfilled, a myth meant for fairy tales only," Raegan said with a smile.