Lillith Ch. 01

I was freaking out. Or so that's what the humans would call it. It was hours before the night was over but I was mentally exhausted.

There was something I need to do first. I needed to go to the church I always visited after I took a victim. My strange visits there always soothed me afterwards. What was I supposed to do? I had to feed off of blood. That's how I lived. I tried to go without it once. It was absolutely unbarable. I had been curious about human guilt. The man that I never got out of my head was what humans call a drug dealer. They always make them out to be one of the most evil forces on the planet. I never understood it. This man went beyond drugs, he had done things in the past. Before he came to his current residence. Every time the investigators came to talk with him, he proclaimed his innocence, which his actions proved that he obviously was not. There were always people coming in and out of the house. Even when he knew the investigators were outside watching him from a dark van. It really didn't make any sense logically. It seemed as if he was asking to be picked up by them.

The night his home was invaded by many of the investigators (or police, he called them himself), I killed him. His mind was always foggy with ideas that dreamed of killing a mass amount of people. Knowing something of killing people, I thought I would like to know what his version of this was. His started with his own family. Sometimes he would think about slitting their throats when they are sleeping. No, that's too simple. He would say. He thought about torturing them first. Rape the girl-mother, over and over again. Poison the bratty six-year-old. Replace the bubble bath with battery acid for the four-year-old. Since the baby was always crying for expensive formula, it could starve to death. Drag it on for months. Watch them slowly die. Watch them as they suffer, become pale and lethargic. Their bloodshot eyes would make him happy. Their pleas for a release. They would promise not to go to the police. He wouldn't have cared either way.

That evening I was observing him. The police started to sneak around the house, and a couple of them went to the front door. He looked out the window and saw them on the crumbling steps. The two men on the steps seemed to be ready for anything. I was intrigued by the events happening. I watched even closer. The man didn't open the door for them. I went inside the house, invisible. The man was overly excited and started gathering everybody into a small closet. The baby was screaming and the other children were crying. The young girl was silent. Her mind said he's going to kill us here. Her resolve in the moment was profound. She was so calm. He purposely abused them on a daily basis, it was as if she knew it was going to happen eventually and she just gave up. I tried to reach out to her, to tell her everything was going to be ok. Her head was closed completely, there was no way in. I didn't want these young people to die. They were good. They were in their hearts, innocent.

He was getting certain items together and was mumbling something about what he was going to do. When they run the house everyone is going to die together. me, the police, and that stupid girl and her pathetic children. Bomb, bomb, bomb. The audible laughing was the only coherent voice coming from him now. Suddenly the only thing I wanted to do was to make him suffer as he made them all suffer. I wanted him to die, like he wanted them to die. This time it had nothing to do with a blood hunger. He wasn't even worth it.

I grabbed the man around the neck. His name was John. Bloodshot eyes stared back at me in confusion, his arms flailed and searched for the unseen force that was holding him five inches from the ten feet high ceilings. I swung him around and slammed him into the ceiling, making the frail plaster to fall on top of him and onto the floor. He attempted to scream and I wrapped my other hand around his throat, only allowing him to choke on his voice. The contempt on his face was frightening. Wanting him to see what suffering is I let my invisibility down. I was whole to him, a red-haired skinny woman with red pupils and blue irises. The sudden paleness of his skin was still darker than mine, the contempt was completely gone. I was determined to truly be the monster he envisioned of himself within his dark thoughts. Smiling at him, it revealed two large sharp canine teeth. Vampire? He asked. I lowered him to the floor and climbed on top of him.

There wasn't much time. The police were getting ready to come into the house. The mother and children were locked in the closet. Looking down at him, he was silent.

"How would you like to die?" I put to him the question for amusement purposes only. There was no answer. Making hissing sounds that came from my chest, he comprehended that I really spoke. He thought he imagined it.

"Are...you," he began with a raspy voice, " you, a...a.....a..Vampire?"

"If that is what you would like to call me, go ahead," I paused, "NOW!" I yelled in my loudest whisper right next to his left ear. I shattered it with the high pitch. "Answer me, how would you like to die?!"

He screamed when his eardrum disintegrated. His body was telling him to grab the ear, my right hand holding both of his with a strength that was immeasurable wouldn't allow it. I bent down and kissed his forehead. He was still screaming in pain, soft kisses went down the side of his face and I licked the salty tears streaming down it. I straddled him and made sure the part of me that men find the most worthy was rubbing against his pants. The hardening was beginning. What humans call adrenaline was rushing through me and I could smell the blood. Wanting to make everything last as long as possible, that familiar headiness that I love was taking over and I let it go. I wanted to rape him. It was impossible to do so in the current situation and time constraints. So I took my hand off his knowing he wasn't going to be able to throw me off of him and cut his throat with my razor sharp fingernails. The blood rushed out immediately and began to pool on the floor around his neck and head. The scent of it was overwhelming and I almost lost control. I dipped my finger into the blood and held it over him. It dripped onto his eyelids, cheek and mouth. "You wanted a taste of blood? Well here it is." John still had pain in his ear but his arousal and the blood dripping onto him distracted him. He opened his mouth and licked his lips.

"You are going to make me like you aren't you?" his voice was so soft, he was weakening. Laughing softly I knelt down to him, "Silly, I am not one of your human fairytales. I am the real thing. I am demon, I am evil, I will kill you." John's expression changed immediately as he finally realized his fate. Just as quickly as I attacked him, I put my mouth to the gash on his throat and drained him. His final thoughts were of forgiveness. Forgiveness by God, asking Him to be forgiven, praying that he would not go to hell.

The police and his family found him on the floor dead. He was alone. He suffered greatly. That is what was on the mind of everybody looking down at him. I let him off easy. He deserved much more. The other thoughts and actions that went through his mind when he was dying and praying to God to save him depicted several other rapes and murders, people of all ages, from the newborn to the elderly. Disgusts seems funny to describe a being like me to have, but, it was true. I was purely disgusted with him. I was a killer myself, but I didn't kill the innocent. I went after men who were evil in their hearts and minds. Each time I killed one of them, they always revealed their deeds done in the past. This one reviled me more than the rest because he asked for God. Who is God? Why was he asking him for forgiveness?? Something within me told me that he would not be forgiven. The drug dealer personality was a fake. He was a psychopath. All along the plan was to kill. He seduced the girl-mother into loving him. He tricked her to get pregnant. He began selling all types of drugs. All to lure the police, all to kill the innocent and vulnerable. At that point, he didn't care if he was going to get caught, the FBI was already onto him from his actions in another state. He just wanted a tiny piece of revenge before he got put away for good to his death.

So much for revenge.

I wanted scream. The blood was not satisfying this time. The word God. I heard it, and now it was driving me crazy. I just left the house and started walking down the street. The flashing red, blue and white lights were fading behind me. All of the neighbors were standing outside wondering what had happened. I was lost. Lost to myself, I just walked. Walked as slow as humans walk. My heart was beating excitedly . I felt like screaming. The restraint I had prevented me from doing so, it would shatter their eardrums in a five mile radius. Eventually my slow pace halted me and I just collapsed. I blacked out and when I awoke, there was a lady standing above me.

"are you okay miss?" her voice was sweet, childlike and comforting.

"hmm. You need to leave." the hardness in mine, made us both jump.

"No, you need help, let me call 911. Wait," she paused and looked around.

"I don't need any help." It didn't even register to me that I was speaking to her. I only spoke to my victims when I was killing them.

"Well, you do need help, but I saw you come from that window of the house, so you probably don't want any." Her soft voice was whispering to me. I reached into her mind and found the memory of me climbing. Stupid! If she saw me, then how many others saw me? It wasn't like I was afraid of them, I was more worried about them being afraid of me. I was a monster, they were my food.

"You saw me leave the house?" I asked her.

"Yes, I did. Then I followed you. I saw you collapse. I didn't know if you were dangerous so I waited."

"I am dangerous, leave me NOW!" I shouted at her a little to hard and she covered her ears in pain. She fell to the ground next to me, with her hands still wrapped around her head. Her eyes were shut. She didn't say anything to me, absolutely silent. She wasn't leaving so I wanted to ask her a question.

"Who is God?"

"God? What? I can barely hear you, I think you broke my eardrums." she was yelling now because her hearing was terrible. It was pointless to try and talk to her. I decided to speak to her inside of her mind.

Who is God? I tried once more to ask her. My curiosity to know who than man was asking and begging for reached further than my wanting to keep my own secrets.

What do you mean who is God? I was a little startled when she answered me without speaking.

How are you answering me?

How are you speaking to me? Her question to me was awfully puzzling. For a second I realized how often I am confused about the humans. When one knows how long I had been around, you would think I knew more of them. My mind slipped into unfocused thoughts.

"No calling 911 then? Are you alright?" the sound of her voice brought me back.

"No." I just fed, yet I felt unusually weak and lightheaded. I pushed myself up and tried to stand. My legs were a little shaky but I found my footing. I was towering over the woman. After a few moments I found my strength returning to me.

"You aren't alright then? I will help you home if you would like me to."

"I am fine. I have already asked you to leave me alone. I don't need any help. You need more help than I do." I was chuckling to myself thinking about how easily this woman could die by my hands.

"Why did you follow me? If you think I am dangerous, it's silly for you to do so." I questioned her.

"You came out of that window. I wanted to know more of what had happened. Do you know?"

"I know everything that happened there."

"Please tell me." She was quite innocent looking, her light brown hair and gray eyes were a strange contrast to my wild red hair and blue eyes.

"I cannot do that. The police are aware of what happened now, well almost anyway, go ask them."

"They wont tell me anything. Please."

"Neither will I. Now go away." She stood up now, I was at least a foot taller than her. I started to walk away, but did not disappear. I didn't want her to get any more information about me than she already had. She would become suspicious of me if I quickly went away, no matter how badly I wished to get away from her as quickly as possible.

"Wait, you seem pretty interesting, talk to me please." she was repeating herself and pleading. Humans were so annoying sometimes.

"What do you want? You are missing the obvious here. I came out of that window, I had something to do with it perhaps, or perhaps I was the end of it. Yet, you are here following me, and you are not scared of me and calling the police to me, to be arrested. What is wrong with you?"

She was silent and was still following behind me. I wasn't sure if I reached her sanity or not.

"I'll tell you about God if you tell me about what happened." I stopped and she ran into me. I wanted to know about this person that John had been calling for. If I told her anything about what had happened she would quickly realize what I was. I wanted to shoot myself for being so stupid in the first place. It was this God person who distracted me from leaving the house undetected.

"That's the deal then?"

"Yes."

"No." I could figure this out on my own. I learned everything else out about the world on my own. Learned how to speak, learned to dress myself to blend in when I wanted to. Even learned how to drive a car, though I had no need for it. I could figure out who God was. I heard her sigh deeply as if she gave up. She still didn't make any sense to me. I told her I was dangerous. She just must not have cared.

"I will give you my work number and you can call me if you find that you need my assistance ok? I work at The Dispatch as a journalist. I am trying to get a big story so I can get my editor off my ass." How cliché. I laughed out loud. "What's so funny?" she asked me.

"This is like a clichéd movie. I'm the bad guy and you are the fearless journalist."

"Yeah that's true. But, who else would be chasing you down a dark street when you came out of a crime scene window? I guess I am just desperate. Too desperate to even care what happens to me anymore." she did sound desperate. A yearning in me wanted to help her, but the monster wanted to get away from the foul smell that was now seeping into my nostrils.

"What's your name?"

"Susan,I never gave my name to a human. Not even for fun. Sometimes they would ask my name and I would always just laugh in their ears and kill them. Humans always wanted to know names. I didn't really care. I just wanted to torture the evil. My silence was the answer she received.

"Will you take my number and call me? I will be patient, at least a little. You can call me when you are ready. Please." her pleading almost made me care a little. But it didn't make me care enough. I began thinking of ways to get rid of her. I didn't want to leave her with anymore hints of who I was. Maybe I could turn this corner really quick and lose her, maybe I could just start running at normal human speed maybe...

"Fine, I will leave now, I work at the newspaper, its in the phone book, ask for me. Its Susan Noyes." With that she turned yours?" and walked in the other direction. I was relieved to say the least. Quickly I leapt into the air and onto the rooftop. I saw her turn to look back at me. She was puzzled but she continued on in her direction.

I just kept thinking about that man. I just wanted to know who it was that he was reaching out to in his last moment. Why waste your last thought asking for forgiveness when all that you had done in your life was take and ruin lives? The moonlight followed me from rooftop to rooftop. I came to a great gabled building. It had that funny thing humans call a cross on top of it. I often marveled and stared at it. I was mesmerized by it. It was my nightly routine to come and sit next to it. I just sat under the cross and the moon and tried to remember my past, I knew I lived before that day when I woke up in the desert. I didn't need my dreams to tell me so, I felt it somewhere deep inside of me. Loneliness crept over me and I wished a little that I would have talked to that journalists more. I was all alone. There weren't any others like me. I traveled the world looking for them. If they are there, they hide themselves well. Closing my eyes I slipped into an unconscious sleep.

A disfigured hand was grabbing for me and I didn't pull away from it. The hand had dark color, the arm that extended it was also disfigured and red colored. The body it came from was emanating a low growl. I couldn't see its face. Its touch was burning hot and I fell into an embrace that I hoped was sweet and comforting. Instead I was thrown on my back and a long, even hotter tongue licked me on my face. I could feel the claws of it's hands digging into arms. Suddenly I felt a sensation I had never known before. I was being filled with a scalding object. A wave of pleasure rushed over me and my body lifted up and I screamed.

"Lilith, you want true freedom?" I was too weak to answer. "I will give you the freedom you want from Him. I will make you powerful, I will give you domain over many." I was feeling more pleasure. The claws digging into me only heightened this more. I could hear water lapping against something and fish flopping out of the water.

"Hmm." was all I could say.

"Is that a yes?" another wave of deep pleasure overcame me as my hearing clouded. I could feel the rocking motion of the figure speaking to me.

"YES!" just then I screamed and without deciding I gave into anything it wanted from me.

I woke with a start. The sun was beginning to show. I had another one of the dreams. The ones that I felt were connected to my past. They never made any sense. I used to become frustrated with them. Now I just don't care as much. They are just dreams. The sunrise was coming quickly. I enjoyed watching it from my little perch. It slowly rose over the edge of the planet, the clouds in front of it looked like they were being filled in by the light. The deep oranges and yellows always captivated me, I could feel heat beating down on me. I wondered if humans felt that heat as the sun rose. I wondered if there was anything that they didn't take for granted.

I sat there distracted for a while. I barely noticed what I had been thinking about until I was pulled back to the present by the sound of voices. Nighttime was my favorite but there was something nice about the day. The heat always energized me, filled me with a sensation that I thought offhandedly was much like my dream I had just had. I turned my head around the cross to see where the voices were coming from. Although I had often sat there and dreamed, I had never stayed there all night long until day time. There were people walking into the building. They were dressed formally, their thoughts were about how they will be glad when it was over.

I decided that invisibility would be the best for the moment. It wouldn't be a good idea for them to see me hanging over a roof, barely falling off. They would panic and call those damned police. Reaching to the flag pole just below me on the tip of the roof where it meets the wall, I swung to the ground. I let myself drop to the ground and ended up in the middle of the few people walking in. The only thing they noticed was a breeze that swooshed around them.

I was mesmerized as I walked with the small group inside the little building. It wasn't grand or fancy, rather simple. Just a hallway of carpeted flooring and white walls. There were some decorative paintings on the wall and a bulletin board with many little pieces of paper attached to it. A musty, yet fresh smell came to me. Then a lady wearing too much perfume and powdered makeup walked by and totally covered that up. Although overpowering it made me calm and I decided to follow her. She stopped to talk to a man wearing a brown jacket, khaki pants and a blue shirt and tie. They were speaking softly so others couldn't hear them and she sounded upset. A tear trickled out of the corner of her eye and I felt compelled to wipe it away. She shivered slightly as my touch went across her cheek and her hand immediately flew up to her face to clutch her cheek.