I've thought about you quite a bit since we broke up. I definitely have some regrets about our parting. I have spent hours mourning over the loss of you, as you know. I am doing well now, but it doesn't erase our regrettable end. I'm trapped in uncomfortable disappointment.
I wish you could have forgiven me for my actions while I was sick. It's not like my actions were intended to hurt you. The reason that I broke up with you was to save you from my hell. I was feeling down and didn't want to bring you down.
If you had been able to forgive me, I believe we could have had something special. We really did have a good relationship in the months we shared. It ended way too soon. Sometimes, I feel angry at you for letting me go. I had given you my heart, and you were quick to retreat from building a relationship with me. As I recovered, I know that our times together would have been enriched by my growth and improvement.
I remember the times we spent together at my house. Of course, I think about the hours in my bed. I loved to suck on you, which was obvious. I never hid my enthusiasm for feeling your cock in my mouth. I know you enjoyed it too. Just remembering how your smooth cock felt inside my mouth is enough to make my pulse quicken.
Though I licked your cock and sucked you hard, I didn't even get a chance to taste you. That's only because sucking on you turned me on so much that I didn't want to wait any longer to feel you deep inside me. As much as your cock took me to heights of ecstasy while you pounded my pussy, I still wish I would have gotten a chance to taste you.
I have to laugh when I remember the many times we attempted to watch a movie while lying in my bed. Did we ever watch a movie in its entirety? Before it was halfway over, I would be overtaken with a burning need to have your cock in my mouth. I miss licking the length of your cock. I enjoyed tracing the head of your cock with my tongue and sucking you until I could feel your cock against the back of my throat.
My full, pouty lips gliding over your hardness generated a frenzy of desire. There were times that I got so turned on from sucking on you that I didn't want to wait for you to move, so I mounted and rode your hard cock instead. I've had my share of lonely nights spiced with thoughts of your cock in my throat while I gently massaged your balls.
I remember the numerous times you thrust your hard, black cock into me, missionary style so I could watch you take me. I gripped your arms and back as your cock had complete command of my body. Your hardness was a perfect fit. I got so turned on by your sounds as you approached climax and eased your pace to extend our time joined in passion. I groan just thinking about your cock plunging into my hot wetness. I can't help but want to experience you again.
That's something that I had to let go. I not only miss the intimate times that we shared, I mourn my visions of us in the future. I had hopes of sharing my life with you. Our breakup destroyed dreams of traveling together and sharing sensual moments for years to come.
I have an overactive imagination. You are a beautiful person with whom I had envisioned sharing many beautiful things: sunsets stretching across foreign lands, making love in Vegas overlooking the brilliantly lit strip, laughter, art, dropping to my knees to satisfy you when you come home from work, and outdoor sex in the woods. I dreamed of us experiencing the changes and events that life brings with the strength and support that love provides.
In good times, we would celebrate our love. In bad times, you would know that I was always in your corner. Never again would you have to face difficult times alone as you feel compelled to do so now.
As good as we were together in bed with your dark skin against my pale complexion, I know there is more to a relationship than that. If you can't forgive my attempt to save you from hurt, then I'm not sure that I could trust you to be by my side in tough times like I would be by yours. When you pulled away from me, I realize that you were probably hurt and insecure by my previous actions. I can understand that.
Of course, your cock is not all that I miss. I fondly recall your laugh. Your encouraging text messages were incredibly helpful while I was depressed. You're a good listener and a giving soul. I always felt as though I could share my thoughts with you. You know that I respect you. If I did not think so highly of you, this loss would not have cut me as it has.
I admit that I hope you look back at our time together with fondness like I do. We've tried to play the part of friends now. We've had some great conversations, but it hasn't been easy. When you speak of difficulties you have been having, I wish I could hold you and kiss them away. That's no longer my place.
I thank you for the times we shared and the poetry you've inspired. I wish I had been able to draw you. At least then, I could have your image preserved in charcoal on pages of my sketchbook. I treasure our past as a lesson of life. I've learned from it.
I wish there was a way I could take back the words that separated us. I've apologized several times, but you remain unwilling to give us another try. I don't find it so easy to let go of the hope of us. Sometimes, you express a possibility of us. If that ever happens, I know I would never let you go again. I know what it's like to be without you.
With Love Always,