Lonely

Remember how it was for you? Living alone, eating alone and sleeping alone... just being alone? Well that's me. After work I came home after stopping at my favorite burger joint drive through, and ate alone. No television and no radio turned on and after dinner with clothes changed I sat at the computer and read the news. I even checked out the 'strange news' while occasionally sipping what was left of a large coke. No dishes to wash because I did them yesterday. No clothes or bedding to wash, I'd done those the night before. There was no cleaning to do and no one's been over or coming over I suppose. Anyway it's clean enough for me and the trash is gone.

I'd found and started a tutorial online last week and so I finished it tonight. No telephone calls because my Internet use blocks the telephone line, but no one will call anyway. I played with some stuff for work and planned my effort for the next week and it was still only nine in the evening. I don't drink so my wits were about me. Finally, I visited my online Messenger and looked around. I'd been there before and had no luck; I don't know why I kept coming back. Its human nature not to give up I guessed. Anyway, I'd searched for ladies my age that will talk or that may be interested in a male's conversation. I'd been going through the listings again and reading profiles. I recognized many that were still here and looking but I'd either tried before and they hadn't been interested or I'd not been interested. You may wonder how a guy with no prospects can be selective, and I can't answer but I am.

I'd been through many pages tonight and still nothing. I was about to sign-off when I see a new name and she'd just joined Messenger. I located and read her profile and she sounded interesting. I noticed too that it said she's on-line right now. Why not I thought as I composed a short welcome and asked about her? I sent it off and waited, but nothing. I shut down and headed to bed feeling worse than before I'd found her.

It was much the same the following night. I was in a lonely apartment with a lonely mind. I cleaned the bathroom including the shower and head and then washed the basin and put things away. I carried out the trash and then returned and turned on the computer. Again the news, and again nothing else as I accessed Messenger again. Wait! Can it be? I have mail from someone at Messenger? I ask to read it and the computer seems to go on a journey like Van Winkle, but finally opened the mail. It's her! She apologizes for not answering last night and says she didn't know what to say. But after thinking about it all day she'd decided to take a chance.

She'd included and I read small details of her life and then sent off my own response. It was only moments before my screen wrote her second reply. She was there and willing to talk. Now what to talk about? I was tongue-tied, but finally answered with small facts about myself. She says she is interested and so I asked more of her. Soon we are carrying on a comfortable conversation and I find that I like her... at least what I know of her. She's says that she is a big girl, but so what. I like large ladies and always have.

Many people don't understand much about how it feels to want someone to call your own. Not to literally own or control, but to share with. The problem is doubly aggravated when you are large or homely or have anything but averageness or beauty of mind or body or prowess. Even nerds are shunned and they are the thinkers in the crowd in most cases. I'm not a jock, not a nerd exactly, not average in anything and I'm definitely manifest opposite the listing of beauty. I try to explain about my interests, my concerns and my own self image. Suddenly my screen says that I'm invited to view her webcam. I'm insane and this can't be happening but I answer that I do want to see her cam. It takes way too long for my monitor to display an image but I'm enchanted by the screen and wait.

It's her and she is smiling and she is beautiful. I mean I know guys that wouldn't necessarily think so, but that doesn't include me. The microphone is next and finally I hear her soft voice asking if I can see and hear her. Yes I respond and study her image. I can't help myself as I type out what I see and thank her and admire her and want to know even more of her. She is almost eight years younger than I am, but eighty years more beautiful. She thanks me and doesn't believe that I feel that way. I really do and tell her again. She is pleased that I think so and then on a whim, she pushes away from the camera and stands up. I can see most of her now as she steps back and then turns slowly and my eyes watch intently.

She is still talking to me as she resumes her seat at the computer and I begin to gush my thoughts. I'm honest in everything I say and she is smiling. What can be more pleasant than a lady's smile? I'm not reading and when I finally glance at what she's written she is asking if I have a camera, too. I do, but I tell her that she really shouldn't see me. She insists and so I finally give in. Without much to say, she finally asks me to stand and turn around slowly. I do. She writes back that she is quite impressed. With me? Now that is almost too much. A woman has never said anything like that to me before. She is too kind.

I like her and why not? She is a lovely woman that seems to like me and I certainly like her and it has only been part of an evening. I ask about her work, her family and her likes and dislikes. I ask her height and find she'll fit comfortably under my arm. I ask more including her approximate location, but she is reticent and I finally apologize for asking. She thanks me for my interest but prefers to stay private. I can't blame her because in today's world all ladies must get hit on by every guy that sees their name.

We talk a bit more before making a date to meet online again tomorrow night. She will be busy the following night but I mention my interest in meeting again whenever she has time. We will skip night after next, but will meet again the following night. I thank her again and tell her of my pleasure as she closes her webcam and then signs off. I go to bed with my spirits lifted for the first time in a very long time. My arousal accompanies me as I crawl naked beneath the sheets while still thinking of her.

This night I dream of her in a short white satin gown, wearing nothing beneath. This is part of my dream:

I love the way the white satin gown seems to caress her breasts, her thighs and her beautiful ass -- it's very sensual. I slowly approach her from behind and wrap my arms around her and cup that warm fullness in each hand. I feel her respond and love the pleasure of slowly fondling, kneading, and stroking their soft warmth until I feel the warm nipples rising to attention beneath. I love squeezing, rolling, kneading, pulling and softly pinching those two wonderful nipples as I nibble and kiss the nape of her neck. From memory I visualize her and imagine the beauty of each breast, each nipple and that wonderful ass rising off the bed and facing me. I slowly turn her and run my tongue along her neck and up to her mouth and moist lips and gently kiss her and tease her tongue with my own. As she responds I kiss her deep and firm

Slowly I slide one hand down across her soft tummy until it rests against that gentle rise between her thighs. I stroke and slowly increase the pressure and then bring my other hand down to gently raise the hem of her gown and allow me entrance. When I have her warm, I kneel and stroke her pussy with my tongue and gently squeeze my hand between her thighs to fondle her full pussy. I cup her labia and slowly stroke across two wonderfully moist lips. I gently spread them as I insert one finger, stroke, insert two fingers, and stroke, and continue until she softly whispers enough and begins to move under my hands.

With her building passion, I stand again and raise one hand to release her gown and let it slide over her smooth skin and into a pile at our feet. I slowly drop to one knee, inhale her aroma and use that same free hand to gently nudge apart her thighs until there is room for my face and tongue to enter. I begin a slow lave along her lips and into her pussy. As my lips raise the hood over her clit my tongue and lips enter and draw it into my mouth. I use my tongue and lips to further raise her passion as I kiss and fondle her with the flat of my tongue. I feel it respond and grow firm as I slowly draw a soft suction and caress it. As she presses back against my face, I spread her thighs further and crawl under and turn to face her and insert my fingers to find her g-spot. I insert my tongue and make love to that pleasure spot.

As I feel her respond and begin to climax her knees weaken and I lower her slowly to the floor on knees atop me. I watch her bend forward me and take me deeply into her mouth and begin to make love to my cock. I feel her hips rotate as her climax nears and I feel the increased pressure of her pussy against my face. Before she can cum, I wrap both of my arms around her thighs, hold them so that she can't move them, and use the fingers of each hand to spread her pussy and reach in to again caress and rub her clit. I feel her stop the effort on my cock as I arouse her, and then as she reaches climax and peaks I feel her cum from both sensations at once. I taste her juices flowing from both g-spot and clit into my mouth and across my face. I feel her tremble and feel her body tense and her hips thrust as she peaks. I watch again and she slowly bends forward to catch and taste the warm reward from my cock. I kiss her and let the taste mingle as I revel in the sweetness of our juices.

I wake and wish I could still be with her.

The next day she is on my mind and I hurry home to meet her online. She is late and I fear she has missed the time or changed her mind, but then she signs in and I'm alert again daring not to breathe until she activates the cam again. She is there and as beautiful as I remembered from last night and my dream. I greet her and can hardly contain my excitement as she responds. She is the sweetest I've met on the net, and possibly the sweetest I've met. I ask how many guys are pursuing her after reading her profile and she tells me that she received four replies and none of them satisfactory except mine.

Besides my personality she says, she really does think I look nice and that I like her. I ask what we can talk about and she replies that nothing is off limits if I'm comfortable. I ask if that includes sex and she answers again that everything is okay if I'm comfortable. I ask her sexual preferences and she tells me. She hasn't had much sex but enjoyed it and wants a more. I ask if she's ever had or given oral sex and she replies yes to both. She loves the feel of lips and tongue on her pussy and has very sensitive nipples. She's only had oral twice and only one was close to satisfactory. She's given oral a few times and only let one guy cum in her mouth. She says that it may be a taste she has to acquire and I laugh.

She asks about me and my preferences. I like to satisfy a lady, especially a large lady. If a lady enjoys oral then I want to enjoy her, too. I tell her that it's true that a woman does taste sweet to me and that I love to try and control her passion. Jokingly I ask if she'd like me to demonstrate and she smiles back and very quietly says yes. I'm instantly aroused and we continue. I'm comfortable discussing sex with her and she is the most honest and open gal I've ever met. She replies that she doesn't know how or why she is comfortable discussing such intimacy with me, but she is.

I tell her of my dream and leave out the most graphic parts, but she asks about them and I tell her. She says that she is flattered that after only one discussion I can think of her that way, but tells me that she hopes she can include me in a dream too. She leaves the chair rather abruptly and I fear that she is upset with me, but she returns in a robe and apologizes that she had to get ready for bed. I ask how she is dressed and she tells me that she sleeps nude and the robe is only for the camera. I admit that her reply has me turned on and that I wish for more and would really like to see all of her. She smiles and tells me that it may happen some day.

She seems pensive before smiling at the camera and asking if I ever play with myself. For a moment I'm not sure I heard her question right and ask what she means. She repeats that she's sure that I already know what she meant. I swallow twice and respond that I do, and she comes back telling me that she does, too. She then ventures to tell me that she is right now. I notice an arm out of view and ask about it. She tells me that her robe is open below the desk and she has been busy almost since she changed to her robe.

I'm pleased and aroused and ask if I can see. She puts her head back and I see her arm moving below the camera and then I watch a range of emotions on her face. She is totally absorbed for a few moments and then her arm stops moving and a relaxed smile decorates her face. She is silent and licks her lips before she looks down and asks if I enjoyed watching her. Oh yes I tell her and I mean it. She raises her hand and asks if I can see the wetness on it. I can.

I say again that I'd like to see all of her and she smiles and tells me that she may the next time we talk, throws me a kiss and then closes the camera and signs off. I sit for minutes looking at the black window where she was only minutes ago. My mind is racing and I find that I have myself in my hand and my pants are opened. I shut the machine down and go to bed. My dream repeats with the added feature of my watching her masturbate.

It has been a very long two days when I arrive home and turn on the computer again. As I wait for her, I read the news again, check my email, get up and fix my dinner, and wait. Again, I'm about ready to sign-off thinking she couldn't make it, when a message again appears telling me that she is online. With perhaps too much eagerness I reach for the mouse and open a message window. It is a few moments before her camera comes on and she answers and then asks if I've been waiting long. Two days I reply and she smiles.

She says that it has been a long two days for her, too. We talk for awhile and inquire about our respective jobs. She hasn't eaten dinner yet and I urge her to go fix something. She's gone for a few minutes and returns with a plate and drink. She asks If I mind if she eats while we talk and my obvious answer is no. I enjoy watching anything she does. I enjoy her movements and her dress and I enjoy movements apparent on her face. She eats shyly and I try to keep the conversation alive.

She asks if I like to play with foods and I ask what she means. She replies by opening her robe and selecting a can of whipped cream from out of range of the camera. I'm staring at her breasts with my mouth open and she laughs as she removes the top and points it at one nipple and then slowly circles a nipple with the cream. I decide that I definitely like to play with foods and tell her. She smiles and tells me how pressure from the nozzle tickles and then plays with one finger in the cream. Slowly she brings the finger to her mouth watching me as she cleans it with her tongue. I'm curious and ask her if she can reach her nipple with her tongue and she responds by raising it to her mouth and cleaning it with her tongue as she smiles at the camera.

If a tongue can have a hard-on... my does. She gets embarrassed now and leaves for a moment. When she returns it has been several minutes and she is fully covered again. She seems embarrassed and I ask her. She softly replies that she isn't sure why she did it, but she'd thought about it all day. She tells me that she's never been nude on camera before and I believe her, but I try to reassure her that it's okay. I tell her how very much I enjoyed it and that she has such beautiful breasts. I ask her to show me again before she's had time to think about it all night. Eventually I persuade her and she is so sexy looking. I want to push my luck and ask for more and I tell her.

She stands and drops her robe and I can see the thong she is wearing. She is a beautiful lady and the word large applies equally to her body and her beauty. I ask and she tells me that she does indeed shave as she returns to her seat without the robe. Now she asks to see more of me and the tables are turned. I really am nothing that a lady can admire. I have a slight tummy and my ass is too small. I try to get out of showing but she threatens to put her robe back on if I won't let her see. Eventually, and fearing that I'm about to lose her, I stand. She asks me to take off my shirt and when it is almost gone she asks me to drop my jeans too.

I warn her that she has me excited and that perhaps she shouldn't see all of me. She laughs and insists with even more force. Slowly I unbutton the jeans and she is telling me what to do. I slide my fingers into the waist of the jeans and push them down. My cock is freed and definitely displays my arousal. She whistles and I'm embarrassed, but she apologizes and insists that I finish. My pants hang up in the crotch and when I bend my knees and spread my legs to free them my balls fall forward fully exposed.

She says she likes what she can see and then stops. A moment later she quietly asks if I will hold myself for her. I move one hand forward and enclose it with my thumb and two fingers. She smiles and says no that she meant for me to actually hold it and stroke for her. I take it more firmly and slowly retract. She asks again, but this time she wants my other hand under my balls as I stroke. As I do what she tells me she leans back in her chair and reaches one hand down the front of her thong and my grip and my rhythm increase. Her other hand travels to a breast and kneads it with a palm and then teases the nipple with its fingers. She begins moving almost in time with me and I really want to see more.

I ask her to take off her thong and I stop as she stands and removes it. When she sits again I can see her finger slowly circling her clit as she stares at the monitor. I talk to her now and we begin describing what we're feeling and wanting. She puts a leg up on the table and brings the other knee up and back on the seat of her chair. Her pussy is open and I watch as she brings her other hand down and I see her stroking herself. After a moment she is talking as raggedly as I am and her fingers enter her pussy while she continues to work her clit.

Watching her has me fully aroused and I fear that I might climax before her and I try to slow my movements. Her eyes are hooded as she watches me and works. She hollers for me to not stop or slow down and her eyes widen, but narrow again as I return to a full rapid stroke. She is wet and I can see it as she works both hands and her entire body responds. She tries to talk and I try to answer, but we are each beyond that point of no return. I try to catch it as I release but openly fill my hand and it runs off to be refilled again. I hear her moan and her eyes are wide at what she sees from me, and she excitedly announces that she too is there and all motion pauses as she climaxes.

I pick up my shirt and wipe my hands and she manages what looks like tissue and is wiping herself. As I finish I hear her laugh and tell me how erotic that was. She mentions that she has never watched a man masturbate before and never from watching her. I assure her that I don't make a habit of it myself, but that it was such a thrill watching her and hearing her telling me what she wanted to see that I couldn't prevent my own climax. She smiles and thanks me and says that she wishes we could have been together.