Lonely

A big thank you to my editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan, for their editing of my stories making them a much better read.

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Chapter 1

What to say. I was lonely and paid the price. Life was so good and my marriage was great. We had two nearly grown children and were living a rather normal life. Then, she had to go and die. God, how I miss her! Women of forty don't die of heart attacks. At least I didn't think they did. Now I was all alone.

Mary and I were good together, really good. She and her twin sister Barb, and me and my best friend Bill hung together all through school. Damn, those were the days. It actually took Bill and me a while to make sure we were with the right girl when we all went out. There were many times they fooled us.

Bill told me about a little red birth mark on Barb's behind. It was just above her right butt cheek. Whenever they tried to fool us we would ask one of them to show us her ass. It was funny, all of us wrestling around trying to look at the girls' butts. We used to have so much fun together. We all made sexual advances to one another but to the best of my knowledge we didn't have sex with the other's girl or wife.

I say best of my knowledge because in our earlier years Bill and I used to get a buzz on pretty often. The girls always said they could pull a switcharoo on us and we would never know. We really were the best of friends.

We actually had a double wedding ceremony. We even went on our honeymoon together. I know that might sound weird to some people but it wasn't. We were able to share our days with our best friends and our nights alone making love; kind of the best of everything.

I know you've heard about two peas in a pod; we were four peas. Barb and Bill had two kids about the same age as ours. They even hung around together, till they were older and each went their own way, but sill remained friends. We each had a son and a daughter.

Life was good. I was a truck driver, and Bill worked as a dispatcher in a major shipping office. Both Mary and Barb were teachers. What a surprise, them both being teachers! Good thing they taught in different schools or they would have driven the kids nuts since they looked so much alike. They only taught part-time till our kids were old enough to enter school. Then they taught full time.

Mary wanted to be there for our kids and she always was. Nice part about being a teacher, she was always there for them since she had the same days off they had. Of course I was there for them too whenever I wasn't on the road. Throughout my truck driving career I did my best to plan around family events. When I would go across country, I would do my best not to be gone more than five days.

I think you get the picture here. We were a close loving family and Bill and Barb were our closest friends as well as relatives.

The day I was coming back from a run to the west coast was the worst day of my life. My cell phone rang and it was my son Ryan. He was crying.

"Dad, they came and took Mom to the hospital. I think she was dead."

"What? What happened? I can't believe this." I pulled to the side of the road listening to what my son was saying.

Ryan continued, "I got up this morning and was getting ready to head to college. Mom hadn't got up yet. I walked into her room and called to her. She didn't move. Dad, she just laid there. I shook her and she still didn't move. I kind of went crazy crying and yelling at her, then I called 911. They were here in less than five minutes. I heard the paramedics talking. They didn't know I was in the other room listening to them. I guess they just thought I was in shock. I heard them say there wasn't a heartbeat. I asked them if Mom was dead and they said the doctor at the hospital would let us know."

"Where are you now, Ryan? I don't think you should be driving."

"I'm still at the house. I called Aunt Barb and she said she will be here in a few minutes. I told her what I told you and we are going to the hospital together." I could hear my son crying again.

"Ryan, I'll drive straight through. I should be home in about seven hours. If you're able, you should call your sister right away and let her know."

"Dad, Aunt Barb just walked in. Do you want to talk to her?"

He must have handed the phone to Barb who was crying also.

"Jerry, I can't believe this. She is too young to die. She wasn't only my sister but was also my best friend," cried Barb.

"Barb, I need you to be strong for the kids." I was crying too at this time. "I'll be there in about seven hours. I asked Ryan to call Sheila and let her know. God, this is so hard. I guess we all say it will never happen to us," I said through my tears.

"Jerry, I told Bill and he said he would meet Ryan and me at the hospital. I'll stay there with your kids until you get back." She started crying again. "I can't believe this is happening. Why, God? She was such a good person."

We said our goodbyes and I headed down the road with a face full of tears. I had to hold it together; I had another seven hours of driving ahead. My life with Mary was flashing before my eyes. God must have taken over the driving because I don't even remember going up the road. All I could remember was thinking about my wife and family.

I pulled up about seven hours later in front of my house. To this day I honestly don't know how I got here. There were a number of cars parked at our house.

As I walked in, my daughter was the first to come up to me crying. She was married last year and was pregnant with her first child. A child that Mary will never get to see.

"Daddy, Mom's dead," she cried. "Why, Dad? Why Mom?"

I was crying. I had no answers. Why did God hurt good families? I always hear preachers say that God didn't do it, but to me he let it happen. I sure hope there was a hereafter so we could all be together again in this so-called heaven. It was all we could hope for. Surely this wasn't the end of Mary's life. There must be an eternal place for good people like her.

I just hugged my pregnant daughter and told her I didn't know why God let this happen. Someday we will see Mom again. We just have to believe it. What other choice was there? When Barb came up and hugged me, all I could think about was Mary. I wanted to see if Barb had the birthmark and maybe this was all a joke or fantasy. I knew better, but when a loved one dies, the mind plays tricks on you.

I squeezed and hugged Barb like there was no tomorrow. Other than Mary, I loved her more than any woman alive.

After the funeral, I felt so alone. Ryan usually stayed at college. Good thing he was home that fateful night of his mom's death. I would hate to think she would have laid there till I got home.

Sheila lived a few miles away and came to see me as often as she could. She was working part-time and her husband worked in a law office. He was a few years older than Sheila but he was a good man. Sheila was just working part-time for something to do. She was going to be a full time mom when the baby arrived. She had learned that from Mary.

I spent more and more time on the road. I had no reason to rush home. I knew my family was worried about me but there wasn't much else out there for me. Whenever I was home, I would go see Sheila and I was there for the birth of my grandson. Mary would have been so proud. Sheila and I cried when we thought about how her mom would have reacted to the birth.

Barb was there for the birth also. She was like a second mother to Sheila and Ryan. I knew she wouldn't have missed seeing the birth for the world. She was already a grandmother when her daughter-in-law gave birth last year.

Every time I saw Barb, I pictured Mary. It was so lonely. Barb would always hug me. I know that she knew I needed it deep down. She almost always cried when we hugged.

Barb's daughter, Sandy, was in college also. I had always wished that my son Ryan and she would hook up, but it never happened. Ryan told me one time when we talked about it that he loved Sandy, but they hung around so much together that he loved her like a sister. They were already family.

As the first year after Mary's death passed, I never got over the loneliness. I traveled more and more. The only real solace I got was when I came home and saw my grandson. I also enjoyed going over to Bill and Barb's for dinner. Barb and Mary were from the old school. You made homemade dinner for your families. Not just some quick thaw frozen excuse for meat.

The hardest part of going to Bill and Barb's was seeing Barb and being reminded of the woman I no longer had. I started going there less and less.

Another year had gone by and Ryan graduated from college. He got a nice position but it was in another state. Of course I didn't see much of him as it was, since his mother's death. Sandy, Barb and Bill's daughter, got married and I did make it home for the wedding. It was nice seeing all our children venturing out on their own.

I remember Bill telling me at Sandy's wedding, "You know, Jerry, we did good. We met the two nicest women in this world, we stayed good close friends and we both have wonderful kids who have grown up to be responsible adults. We did good."

"Yes, the only sad part is Mary not being here to see it all," I said with tears glassing over my eyes.

"She sees it, Jerry. She is smiling down from heaven right now, watching from a front row seat, smiling for Sandy." Here we were, two grown men both crying. We truly were the best of friends.

Bill reminded me of a pact that we made years before that we would all remain friends forever. If something should ever happen to any of us, we would all be there for one another and our families.

Chapter 2

Life was going on and I was driving down to Texas with a load of paper products. I was stopped by a parade route going down the street to where I was taking my paper load. A couple of college students came up to my truck and starting yelling obscenely at me.

"You're responsible for global warming. You killed thousands and thousands of our trees. You're polluting our environment."

What the fuck? What the hell were these idiots talking about? I was about ready to get out of my truck with a tire iron and pollute a couple of heads when a police squad car pulled up and told these two assholes to get back in their parade.

"Please get back in your truck sir," said the officer.

"What the hell is going on? What were those two jokers coming after me for?" I asked the officer.

"It's an Earth Day parade, Sir. You know, save the trees, save the spotted owl. Ride a bike, stop polluting our atmosphere and burning our natural resources," the officer said.

"You mean they're blaming me for driving a truck and making a living? What the hell has the world come to? The guy out here trying to make a living is the bad guy and these idiots that have nothing better to do think they are the good guys. Maybe I lived too long already," I told the officer.

The officer was laughing. "I agree with you, sir, but we are just here to keep the peace. It would be kind of hard fighting crime without vehicles."

The college kids kept giving me the finger as they marched down the road. I couldn't believe they spent their time even making up their stupid signs. How would they have drawn the stupid sign if there wasn't a tree cut down to give them their paper to make the stupid sign to begin with. I was sure glad my kids never took part in these crazy causes.

I sat there reading the signs. "Save the spotted owl. Stop using our natural resources. Don't drive SUV's, Electric cars are the way of the future." On and on, sign after sign.

Someone needed to sit these students down and explain the facts of life to them. To get electric, you need to burn either coal or a fuel of some type. That is our natural resources. Big car, small car, did it make a difference in the end?

What would these kids do if someone shut off their grandparents' heat? I think most of these kids need to understand that every truck driver is doing a service. Everything we have is moved from one location to another by truck, train, or boat.

Look, I'm not against nature. I like animals, trees, nice parks, fresh water, but there needs to be a balance here. What is one willing to give up to have something else. Why does every generation think they have all the answers? Oh well, the parade has moved on so I can deliver my rolls of paper.

I drove in and some of the workers were just shaking their heads at the college kids. I would sure be glad when I got unloaded and out of this area.

As soon as I got out of the city limits I found me a nice truck stop. They had day rooms and a lounge for the truckers who wanted to clean up. I got my room and, after cleaning up, I headed to the lounge. I wasn't planning on spending the night in the motel; I just wanted to clean up some of this street grime off my body. I was sipping a beer and watching the club girls dancing. I looked around and saw some of the couples holding each other tightly while dancing. I thought about Mary and how we would go dancing with Bill and Barb. After a couple of beers I decided to hit the road. I thought I could drive for a few more hours before settling in for the night. I had a sleeper cab which was my home away from home.

As I approached it I saw a guy walking around with a tire iron walking between the trucks yelling in Spanish. I thought it might be one of the protesters and got myself prepared to fight.

From a distance he yelled at me. "Sir, have you seen a dark haired Mexican girl? She's short, maybe 5' 1", a little stocky but pretty. She's twenty years old."

I realized he wasn't part of the Earth Day protestors but was looking for someone. At least I didn't have to fight him.

"There were a couple of Mexican girls matching that description inside the lounge," I answered. "Why are you looking for her if I may ask?"

"She was my girlfriend. She took this tire iron and hit my car with it. I saw her run across the parking lot. I'll kill her if I see her. She damaged my car."

"Take it easy, fellow. Don't go killing anyone over a dented car. Just call the police and file a report. Give yourself time to calm down."

I got in my truck and started it up. I heard a noise and looked back in my sleeper compartment and saw the girl.

"What the fuck are you doing in my truck?"

"Please, sir, help me. You heard him; he'll hurt me. Just drive out and you can let me out in the next town."

I could see she was really scared and I saw the guy still walking around the parking lot with the tire iron. I knew I should have asked her to get out of my truck but I thought about my daughter. What if it was her and she needed help. I went ahead and drove out of the parking lot.

"Okay, get your butt up here and talk to me. What's this all about?"

I finally had a good look at her. Her old boyfriend's description was about right. She was a cute gal and a little on the chunky side. Dark hair, shoulder length, she had on shorts which showed a nice pair of legs and her blouse was more of the t-shirt variety. Looked like a nice set of boobs.

I spoke first. "You're not part of that damn 'Earth Day' crowd are you?"

"No, Sir, my name is Carlita. My friends call me Carly. The man chasing me is Carlos. He was my old boyfriend."

"Why was he chasing you and did you hit his car like he said?" I asked.

"We broke up a couple of weeks ago. I went home and found him screwing another woman. I threw a lamp at him and ran out the door. I went to one of my girlfriends and moved in with her. When Carlos wasn't at the trailer, me and Francesca, my girlfriend went and got my things."

"So, what happened tonight?" I asked.

"I turned twenty-one two days ago and my girlfriends took me out for my birthday. We were dancing and having a good time when I saw Carlos come in with that whore. I got mad and ran out to his car and took the tire iron and beat on his car. He came after me and I hid in your truck."

"So, what are you going to do now? Where do you live?"

"I live in a small village a few miles away from the lounge. I can't go back or I'll have to go to jail. I have to find somewhere to go. Where are you going?"

"I'm headed back home to Ohio. You can't come with me. I'll just have to drop you off somewhere. Don't you have family or friends where you can go? Surely they will miss you."

"I come from a family of nine kids. My parents are poor and can't afford to keep me. I moved out when I turned eighteen and moved in with Carlos. We've lived together till I found him cheating on me. I've got nowhere to go. Please take me with you."

"Look, Carly, I need time to think. Why don't you go back in the sleeping compartment and get some rest. We'll talk later."

I had no idea what to do. Here was this young girl, sleeping in my truck and I was driving farther and farther away from her hometown. I couldn't just drop her off and tell her to fend for herself; I wasn't made that way. What the hell was I going to do? Christ, she was only twenty-one and on her own. She didn't have anything with her. What the hell was I going to do with her?

Here I was a lonely old fool with a young woman in his truck. I needed to get some rest too. I pulled over at a rest area and tried to figure where I was going to lay my head. I glanced back and saw her sleeping. I watched as her breasts went up and down to the motions of her breathing. What was I thinking? She was younger than my own kids for God sake.

I tried sleeping sitting up but I hated trying to sleep this way. I decided to take my chances in the bed with Carly. After all, it was my bunk and was big enough for two people.

I climbed back and kind of nudged Carly over to one side and slid in next to her. It'd been over three years since I actually slept with another woman. I do mean sleep, not having sex. I did pay a couple of women for sex since Mary's death. I was tired of masturbating and wanted the real thing, so I went to a prostitute a few times. It just wasn't the same when you had to pay for it.

I eventually fell asleep, when I woke up; Carly was pressed back against me, her round butt pushing against my privates. Good thing I had my jeans on or she would have been fucked, literally.

She woke up a few seconds later and turned over. I explained to her that I needed to sleep too. She said she understood and was glad I didn't just push her out of the truck. I explained to her that I could never do that.

We got up and went inside to have some breakfast. As we were eating I asked her a few questions, trying to get a handle on the situation.

"Carly, what kind of work did you do?"

"I help my girlfriend clean houses. She gave me $75.00 a week plus room and board. Before that, when I lived with Carlos, I worked as a cashier at the drug store. I didn't have a car and wasn't able to get back and forth after leaving Carlos."

"I want you to call your girlfriend and your parents to see if everything is alright. Let them know that you are safe."

After she talked to her girlfriend, she told me that Carlos did call the police and said his car was damaged. He didn't mention her by name but he was looking for her. When she called her mom she was told to find work and take care. She was old enough to be on her own. I couldn't figure out how parents could treat their kids that way. Carly said that's how all her relatives are. You turn eighteen and you leave to make your own life. Now I had to decide what to do with Carly.

I don't know why I did it, probably from the years of loneliness since the loss of Mary, but I asked Carly if she wanted to come home with me and be my housekeeper. I knew at the time it was a mistake but loneliness does something to your mind. You don't know until you've been there.

I explained to her that she could be my housekeeper. She would have her own room and I would pay her one hundred dollars a week to buy herself personal things. We could try it out for a while and if she didn't like the situation then I could take her back home on my next trip to Texas.