Losing Control

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We slept in each other's arms that night without saying very much. The full details of what had happened in the bedroom would trickle out over the next week or two as we desperately tried to rekindle what was left of our sex life together. But something had changed for both of us: we couldn't exactly say what, we just knew it would never be the same ever again.

The end occurred rather less dramatically only a few months later, soon after Christmas that year, when Kerry left to set up home with someone else she had met...... I have hated Christmas ever since.

The cottage was eventually sold as I just couldn't bear to stay there anymore and, although I still live in the area, over 20 years later I still cannot bring myself to travel down that road – not because of what happened that day (which I cannot help but remember whether I wish to or not) but because of what might have been.

I miss you Kerry. If only we could have stayed together until a time when our memories were sufficient without the need to tear our lives apart just to create more of them.

As it is, I will forever be lookingback. That's my name and that's my fate!

********************

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