Losing My Wife Ch. 02byxleglover©
Jen stopped seeing Tony, at least socially (she still saw him at work). It was hard for her. She didn't bring him up, but I could tell she was heartbroken. When she told him – I guess you'd say when she broke up with him – she revealed she was married to me, that I wasn't her cousin, that this ruse wasn't meant to hurt anyone, but just to help her get a job (I had agreed she had to come clean with him). Tony was devastated of course, he loved Jen. He got so emotional he threatened to tell Morgan and get Jen fired. But in the end, he kept Jen's secret. What can I say, he was a decent guy, which was bad in a way, because it was impossible for me to hate him.
Jen stopped going to the Friday happy hours. Everyone assumed she was heartbroken over her breakup with Tony, and I knew they were right. Her despair over another man, that she had fallen in love with another man, ate away at me, ate away at our relationship, ate away at our marriage. We took care of the kids, but otherwise sleep walked through life. Our sex life became nonexistent. We tried marriage counseling, but that didn't help and we never went back. We both were miserable.
So I did the only thing I could think of. I told her it would be okay with me if she started seeing Tony again. What else could I do? We were both miserable, and something had to change. Jen looked at me like I was crazy. "That's how we got into his," she protested. And she was right. How do you solve a problem, by repeating the same mistakes? We spent countless nights talking about it. We even made love again. It was impossible for me to talk about Jen being with another man, and not get aroused. I hated myself for this, and during our talks Jen recognized my self-torment, she saw the tears in my eyes while at the same time my cock was hard. She cried too, because of her heartbreak over Tony, her guilt over what she was doing to me, and as we cried and held each other, we made love.
Finally after weeks of talking, she approached Tony. I don't know everything they said. But the main part was whether Tony could be in a relationship with her, knowing she was married to another man. He resisted at first, of course. I mean, why should a handsome successful man, a Desirable #1, settle for that? But eventually he agreed, not able to resist Jen's pretty face, her bubbly personality, her perky tits, her tight ass and flat stomach, her long wonderful legs. They fucked that night. I knew it as soon as she got home, even before I tasted him in her mouth, smelled him in her hair, saw the bite marks, felt her loose pussy. Just by looking at her face I knew. A little later, as we made love, she looked into my eyes and promised, "I'll always love you." I knew she meant it. But by then she'd broken so many promises to me, I'm not sure I believed her.
It happened gradually. I think Jen went slow to make sure I was okay with it. But eventually things heated up again between Jen and Tony. Like before, they went out on Fridays and Saturdays, and often they snuck away for a quickie at lunch during the week. It was like watching a train wreck happening, at least a train wreck for me. Their relationship blossomed, even more than before. Sometimes I'd catch Jen giddy while doing normal things like the dishes, or giggling on the phone with Sophie. I knew it was about Tony. Then she'd see me, and get all serious, worried I'd be upset if she showed joy in her relationship with Tony.
She did as much as she could for me. Our sex was good again. She'd returned home from a date with Tony and come to me as before, letting me smell him on her, guiding me to her legs where his rough fucking had laddered her stockings, inviting me into her pussy so I could see how loose she was. She knew my body and dark desires lusted for this, so she gave it to me, but she also knew my heart hated it, so after we made love she hugged and kissed me and told me how much she loved me.
A few months after going with Tony again, we sat on the sofa after putting the kids down for the evening. "Can I asked you something?" she began cautiously. "I won't if you don't want me to, but – well, Tony asked me to stay over on Friday."
"Stay over on Friday," I repeated dumbly. "Stay over at his place, with him?"
"Yeah, I mean – well, yeah," she said, I guess not understanding why I couldn't grasp this simple concept. "I'd be home Saturday morning before the kids got home from my parents, so they wouldn't even know I'd been gone."
But I'd know, I thought. I'd be alone, while you let him fuck you all night long, and then you'll sleep with him, and wake up in his arms, and then you'll let him fuck you again before coming home. I thought these things, but didn't say them to her. "I won't if you don't want me to," she repeated seeing my hesitation, but I could tell she wanted to.
I forced a smile. "Sure, that's okay with me, no problem." Jen smiled back, and then she did what she always did, she sealed the deal with her body, which she knew I couldn't resist. She wasn't being manipulative. For her, it was emotional as much as physical. It was confirmation we were okay. My cock inside her, my orgasm, meant I was okay. Of course, it didn't really work that way. But it eased her guilt at least temporarily, and I'd never pass up a chance to kiss her pretty face, fondle her breasts, feel her long legs around me, be inside her pussy.
Of course, it wasn't just one Friday night. It became most Friday nights. And then some Saturday nights, and then long weekends. Tony even bought a condo midway between the office and our house, making it easier for their lunch time liaisons, and also for Jen on those long weekends to swing by home for a few hours to be with the kids (and me, I guess). Jen helped Tony pick the new condo (it was a hugely expensive place right off Central Park), and I could only imagine them smiling and holding hands while touring the city with a real estate agent. She kept a lot of her clothes at Tony's place, and my heart dropped whenever I walked into her closet, now half empty.
She never denied me sex. In fact, we were having more sex now than ever before. I think it helped her deal with the guilt. I never complained about their growing relationship, and always put on a good face, because if I forced her to break up with Tony we'd just be in that bad place again. And I think I mostly fooled her into thinking I was really okay with it, like in the past when she was dating and sleeping with Darrin and other populars. But at some level she knew it was different for me now since it was more than just physical, now she was emotionally involved with another man. So she tried to make it up to me with sex, and despite everything, I loved having sex with her. She had the greatest body. Maybe if I wasn't such a leg man I wouldn't have been so addicted to her, but all it took was hearing the swish swish of her nylons as she walked by, or a heel dangling on her small pretty feet, or even just seeing her sit cross legged with her skirt inching up slightly higher, and my body would fill with lust.
Jen continued to tell me stories on what they did together. She told me because she knew it aroused me, and because I put on a good face, she didn't realize how much it hurt. But it DID arouse me, and whenever she started with the stories my lust would turn dark and demented, and I'd get hard, and I'd cum when her stories hurt the most, and because I did get so excited and I did came when I did, she'd tell me more, thinking I wanted to hear it, like "God I'm so addicted to his body!" or "His cock is so amazing!" or "God he gives me the best orgasms!"
She wasn't being cruel, she told me because she knew I loved hearing it. But it was my dark side that loved it, and after my lust was sated, I'd feel sick inside. But then after, maybe an hour or two, I'd think about what she'd told me – and I just knew she was telling me the truth, not making things up, I could tell after so many years with her – and I'd get hard again, and sometimes I'd find her and fuck her again, or sometimes I 'd just go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet with the seat down, and beat off thinking of Tony with his big cock buried in my wife, and my wife saying things like "God Tony you're the best lover I've ever had!"
I knew I was pathetic, but I couldn't help myself. I began to understand what people mean when they said it's hard being married to a beautiful woman. Men pursue those women, even after they're married. And if you're like me, and you have a desire to see your wife with another man, then eventually she's going to fall in love with a man who's more handsome, has a better body, is a better lover, and has more money.
Jen continued to do well at her job, reaching the highest performance level. As a perk, everyone who reached that level got an all-expense paid trip to Aruba. Jen talked me into going with her. She knew we needed some time together, and even though a lot of the populars would be there (they still knew me as her cousin), and she had go to a few BBM team-building seminars, she thought we'd be able to spend most of our time together, away from everyone else.
The first three days were great. Jen had managed to get an isolated bungalow off the beaten path, so we were alone together, eating room service, sunning and swimming, but mostly making love and holding each other. It was really good. I had her all to myself, and I felt better than I had in a long time.
Then on the fourth morning Sophie showed up at our door, out of breath. Eyeing me warily, she pulled Jen outside to talk. A few minutes later Jen came back in, and I couldn't read her face. "Tony just got here," she announced.
I felt shocked. "You told me he wasn't going to be here!" I snapped.
"He wasn't, he's a partner, this getaway was for non-partners only," she said hurriedly, sensing my rising anger. "I don't know why he's here."
"I've got a good idea why he's here," I said angrily. "So what are you going to do now?" It came out like a challenge. I knew what her answer would be, what her choice would be, so I just wanted her to tell me, just say it to my face.
"Well, I mean, first I'm going to see what he's doing here. But if he's staying ..."
"You're going to stay with him!" I finished her sentence angrily, turning away from her.
She grabbed my hand. "No Michael I didn't say that!" she said pleadingly. "But we still need this job, and remember people still think you're my cousin. It would look weird if I didn't see him at all."
"Yeah, you're right," I said bitterly. "They'd think it was strange if you didn't spend all your time with your boyfriend. I'm just your cousin, and he's the man you love."
"Michael, please, let's not get into this now," she begged. "We've had such a good time, it's been good for us. I promise I'll still be with you most of the time. I'll be with Tony just enough for appearances, I promise."
We looked at each other for long moments, and then I finally gave her a reluctant nod. She gave me an encouraging smile. "Let me go see what he's doing here, and I'll be right back," she said. She kissed me, pressed my hand in hers, and then left.
I suspected she wouldn't return soon, and she didn't. A couple of hours later, Sophie stopped by again to pick up Jen's bathing suit (she'd been wearing a top and shorts). "She said it was a pink one – oh, here it is," Sophie said rummaging through Jen's luggage.
"Why'd she send you, is she too busy fucking Tony to come get it herself?"
Sophie must not have noticed the anger and bitterness in my voice, because she laughed. "I guess so. Tony wasn't supposed to be here, but I guess a week away from your wife's cute butt was too much for him." Then she looked at me and saw the hurt in my face. "Michael, are you okay?" she asked concerned. "You're not okay, are you?" she said as I turned away.
"I thought you liked this --- lifestyle," she said to my back. "I mean, it surprised me because you always seemed so uptight – no offense – but I thought you liked it. In fact, I thought you were really into it."
"Maybe I did like it, until she fell in love with him," I blurted out angrily.
Sophie looked startled, and confused. "Michael, I don't think –"
I held out my hand to stop her from saying anything more. I didn't want her sympathy. I didn't want to hear her say "Sure she loves Tony, but she still loves you too." After all, she was the one who called him Desirable #1. She was probably happy that Jen was finally with someone she deserved, with someone worthy of a fellow popular. "Please, just leave," I said.
"Okay, well, then, I guess I'll bring this to Jen," she said hesitantly holding the bikini. I gave her a "whatever" shrug, and opened the mini-bar to start drinking.
The next morning I was awakened by a soft hand on my cheek. "Hi sleepyhead," Jen said. She kissed my lips. "I'm sorry I didn't get back yesterday. It got complicated."
"Yeah, I guess love is like that," I said sarcastically, noticing she wore the pink bikini.
"We need to talk, but not now," she said, and then quickly put a finger on my lips to stop me from replying. "Shhhhhh," she said kissing my lips. She pulled the covers off and took me in her mouth. I'd already been half hard, and I got rigid as soon as I felt her soft tongue on my shaft. She sucked me for a few moments, kneeling on the bed between my legs. She stopped, took off her bottoms – it was no more effort than pulling the strings at each hip – and then straddled me, using her hand to guide me inside her. She felt loose and wet, making it clear Tony had just fucked her, and she'd obviously let him cum inside her. Did she always let him cum inside her now? It surprised me he hadn't knocked her up yet.
"Go ahead, tell me what you did with him!" I growled, my lust growing despite my hurt and bitterness. "Tell me how much you loved fucking him, how much you loved his big cock stretching your pussy! Go ahead and tell me!"
"Not this time," Jen said softly, shaking her head, her long blonde hair swaying from side to side. "Just you and me this time, no one else."
"Why?" I shouted angrily, tearing off her top. "Are you going to deny those are Tony's bite marks on your tits? Are you going to deny those are his hickeys on your neck?" I rolled her over onto her back and pounded her hard. Despite everything, despite my self-loathing, talking about them together got me more excited, and I slammed into her again and again, getting close to my orgasm. "Tell me how he loves kissing you! Tell me how he loves your tits, and how he loves your legs! Tell me! Tell me, damn it, tell me!"
Jen didn't respond to my rants, but she also knew I was close. "Go ahead and cum inside me," she urged, wrapping her long legs around me.
"Oh, I get it, you let your boyfriend cum in you, so what the heck, you'll let me do it too," I thought bitterly to myself. "Well forget it, I don't need your sympathy." Just as my orgasm hit, I pulled out, and came on her stomach.
She looked confused and hurt, and a tear welled in her eye. But I didn't care. "So are you going back to him now?"
"No, I'm not," she said, wiping away a tear. "But Michael, remember today I've got to go to one of the BBM seminars."
Yeah, right, how convenient. "Okay, whatever," I said dismissively. Jen hesitated, looking distressed. I was hurting and I didn't care if she saw it.
She got into the shower and dressed. She looked incredible of course, her hair up with a pretty bow, lipstick making her lips gleam, a thin sundress that ended way above her knees, and Jimmy Choo high heels with two thin straps (one over her pedicured toes and another around her slim ankles) that really showed off her small pretty feet. She saw the scowl on my face, and answered my unspoken suspicion. "Michael, I'm not wearing this for Tony. Remember, the seminar ends at lunch and you and I are going out after to that restaurant in town we saw the other day, I'm wearing this for you.
I almost believed her until I saw her stuff a bikini in a bag. She saw my look and sighed in frustration. "I have to go to a pool lunch after the seminar, but I'm not going to eat there, and I'll be back right after that, I promise."
I turned back to the TV, pretending to watch ESPN. "I promise," Jen repeated kissing my cheek, but I didn't bother to respond, having been on the receiving end of too many broken promises from her. I heard her sigh again, and then I heard the click click of her high heels as she walked across the room and left.
I knew she wouldn't be back, but for some reason I wanted to see for myself. So at lunch I walked over to the main resort building. From one of the restaurants I was able to look over the pool. All the populars were there, and I quickly found Jen. She was easy to spot. Despite everything, I couldn't help noticing how incredible she looked. She'd changed out of the sundress and put on a white bikini that really set off the tan she'd gotten the last few days. The bikini was tiny. The material could have fit in a child's hand. It covered everything, but just barely, giving the impression that at any moment some private part of her would be revealed, which of course meant she attracted the attention of every male eye (and more than a few envious female eyes). I remembered how she had bought it special for this trip, for me, and thought bitterly how she was now wearing it for Tony.
Of course, Jen and Tony were together, like the happy couple they were. She laid down on a lounge chaise on her stomach, and Tony said something to her. She replied and he laughed, making the people around them laugh. Then he picked up the suntan lotion and squirted some on her back. He rubbed it in, at one point stopping to untie the bottom strap of her top. Jen said something to him, and he laughed again and gave her a slap on her butt. Then Tony rubbed lotion on her legs, and then he moved to her butt, and as he did he bunched the material of her bottoms into her butt crack, so it looked like she was wearing a thong bikini, and he rubbed lotion on her practically naked ass. Jen playfully pushed his hands away and impishly nudged him in the ribs, then got up (taking care to re-tie her top and fix her bottoms), and then walked quickly away, followed closely by Tony. No doubt, they were going back to his room to fuck some more. Jen stopped to talk to Sophie. They probably were giggling over the hard fucking Jen was about to get. Then Jen left, with her boyfriend following close behind. No doubt they'd be fucking within the next 5 minutes, assuming they could wait that long to get back to Tony's room.
I went back to my room and packed. There was no reason for me to stay. But when I called I found out the next flight wasn't until the morning, so I was stuck here for the evening. Then I remembered Jen talking to Sophie, and realized what they had talked about. Jen had told Sophie to come see me and give me some excuse why she'd be late. Well, fuck that, I didn't need to hear her lies, I'd seen it myself. I took my suitcase and left.
I went into town and walked around, killing time. Then I went to a bar. It had a view of the ocean, and I stared into it, feeling numb. The sun went down, and the view was so incredible it brought me out of my stupor, if only for a few moments. You know how it is, when something strikes you like that, and you forget where you are, and what's going on in your life? Well, at that moment, I thought how great it would be if Jen was there next to me, because we always liked watching sunsets together, holding hands, sipping wine, just being next to each other, not talking, just comfortable and feeling good in each other's company. Then I snapped out of it, remembered where I was, where Jen was and who she was with, and realized there wouldn't be any more sunsets for us.