As I sat in the window seat watching the rain and the wind causing waves on the normally still lake, I could only help wonder at how the weather reflected my mood. Yesterday had been gloriously sunny and calm and everything had been good in my life. Now my heart was broken and my emotions were threatening to drown me in a torrential downpour from which I could find no shelter.
How could I have been so stupid? Why couldn't I just leave things alone? Why did I have to push you away from me? Why couldn't I just accept your love as it was?
I thought back to the day we first met 5 years ago. It had never occurred to me that I might find love with another woman until I went to a gay club with my best friend Rob.
We were dancing with abandon when a petite girl with short brown bed hair and deep brown eyes made her way across the dance floor towards us. She was obviously flirting and I kind of felt sorry for her making all that effort to flirt with a guy who was never going to be interested in her.
Eventually it dawned on me – we're in a gay club! She knows Rob's gay. She's gay. She's flirting with me!
I turned to Rob with wide eyes, not sure what to do.
"Oh hell Rob, she's flirting with me, I ought to tell her I'm straight"
His laugh was hearty and honest as he leant down to my ear so I could hear him above the music.
"Are you sure about that? You go out with guys but you never really want to sleep with them and you end every relationship before things get vaguely serious – why not just go with the flow and see what happens?"
I stared at him gob smacked. What the hell was he talking about? But he just grinned at me and turned his back on me to dance with a cute guy that had caught his eye earlier.
I turned back to look at the girl and found her stifling a laugh. She'd obviously heard every word we'd said and I felt like crawling under a rock and hiding.
"You look terrified, am I really that frightening?" she asked laughing.
"You look like you could do with something to calm your nerves, at least let me buy you a drink? I promise I won't bite"
She turned and deftly wound her way through the dancers to the bar with me trailing lamely in her wake.
"What are you drinking or shall I surprise you?"
"Oh I'll have whatever you're having" I replied trying not to let my tongue tie me in knots. Why the hell do I feel so nervous? It's not like I haven't been hit on by girls before; what happened to my usual answer of 'I'm flattered but straight, sorry'?
I'd lost sight of her as she elbowed her way to the crowded bar but she was back in a flash with 2 tall glasses that looked like they contained fruit juice. I took a long pull on my drink and quickly realised that it wasn't nearly as innocent as it looked – but it was delicious!
"I have no idea what's in that but I like it"
"It's a secret recipe of my own creation. Maybe I'll divulge it to you when I know you better" she said as she smiled at me while ruffling her short fluffy hair in a really engaging way.
I couldn't help watching her every move and mannerism, she seemed so self assured and comfortable that I felt like a bumbling idiot by comparison.
She grabbed my hand and led me outside onto the veranda and we were lucky enough to find a table in a quiet area near the back. Most of the tables we passed contained people kissing or groping each other, not caring that they were in full sight of everyone else.
As we sat down she took my hand in a formal hand shake and said "Hi, my name's Chris"
"Kate, pleased to meet you"
She grinned at me and I noticed that although she'd stopped shaking my hand it was still clasped firmly in hers.
"Well, now we've been formally introduced maybe you'll stop looking so terrified? So what's a gorgeous straight girl like you doing in a place like this? Are you just here to drive us dykes wild with unrequited passion?"
I nearly dropped my glass but managed to recover my composure as I mentally told myself to just chill out and enjoy myself – we're just having a drink right?
"It seems that my friend has decided that I'm not straight, despite the evidence to the contrary. Wait 'til I catch up with the bugger later!"
And that was it. We talked about everything and anything and found that we had lots in common including a love of motorbikes and eclectic music tastes. We got on so well that time flew by and the next time I looked at my watch I was astounded to find we'd sat outside in the summer night for 2 hours chatting and drinking.
"Oh my god, I'd better go and find Rob or he'll think I've abandoned him!"
I stood up to go and suddenly felt awkward again but Chris came to my rescue by standing and giving me a big friendly hug and a peck on the cheek and saying that she'd had a nice time. She pressed a card into my hand that read 'Chris Taylor, Area Sales Manager' and she'd scrawled a mobile number on the back.
"Any time you want to hook up for a drink and a chat, give me a call"
"I will, I promise" I kissed her cheek and walked into the club to look for Rob wondering if she was watching me as I walked away.
I found Rob quickly but didn't know what to do. He was kissing deeply with the cute guy he'd been dancing with and I didn't want to intrude, but I slipped over to him and tapped him on the shoulder gently.
I'd been to clubs with Rob plenty of times before and we had our routine worked out.
"I'm wacked, reckon I'll go grab a cab soon" equated to I'm happy to leave on my own – do you want to stay longer?
"I thought I'd hang out a bit longer" meant I like this guy, are you sure you don't mind me ignoring you / leaving you to go home alone?
"No problem Babe, enjoy the rest of your evening. Call me tomorrow" and I kissed the top of his head and walked away.
I'd picked the wrong time to leave as there wasn't a cab in sight but the queue of waiting people was horrendous so I decided to go back inside and have another drink and hope that it was better in half an hour.
As I was standing at the bar waiting to be served a familiar voice sounded in my ear.
"I could have sworn I just saw you leave the club on your own, I thought I'd driven you away?"
The sound of her voice sent an unexpected shiver through me and the hair on the back of my neck stood up on end.
I turned to face her and found myself staring at her lips, inspecting her features as if committing them to memory, and then I did something I'll never forget. I took her face in my hands and kissed her briefly but tenderly on the lips.
I'm not sure who was more startled. Chris stared at me in amazement as a smile spread across her face.
"You've never done that before have you?"
"No. That obvious huh?"
"Only because of the look on your face, what made you kiss me? Not that I'm complaining"
"Because I wanted to; I don't know why because I've never wanted to kiss a woman before but if I'm being honest I'd quite like to do it again."
Chris took my hand and led me back out onto the veranda where our table was still free. We sat and just looked at each other for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity until slowly Chris leant towards me and planted her lips on mine. She kissed me softly and slowly and I felt her tongue probing against my lips, so I parted them slightly and allowed her to kiss me fully and deeply until I pulled away in need of air.
"Oh my god!" my breath caught in my throat and my heart was beating like a drum. I looked into those deep brown eyes and knew I had to have more.
"Will you do that again – please?"
Chris placed a hand behind my neck and drew me towards her and this time our lips locked fiercely with passion and urgency. As our tongues swirled and probed I became increasingly aware of my body responding in a way that no kiss had ever prompted before. I was floating in a dreamy cloud and could feel my nipples hardening against the confines of my bra and there were little electric shocks pulsing from my clit. Was it possible to cum from just a kiss? Suddenly a glass smashed behind me and I was jolted back to reality as drunken shouts made me all too aware of my surroundings.
Chris' voice was deep and husky as she took my hands in hers.
"We could take this somewhere more private if you like?"
In that instant I knew that if I left with Chris I wouldn't be satisfied with a kiss and a moment's doubt flashed across my mind, quickly erased by the look of lust in her eyes
"I think I'd like that" and I stood and took her hand, willing her to lead me somewhere, anywhere we could be alone.
Her brother ran the club and she took me through a door at the rear of the bar and up 3 flights of narrow Victorian stairs into the living quarters above, the music receding as we climbed higher.
We stood on the landing and she looked like she was trying to make her mind up about something.
"The living room's in there but it's usually a tip and my brother might disturb us. My bedroom is just through there if you'd prefer?" Her eye's searching my face to gauge my reaction, I knew this was a question about much more than location and I amazed myself by pushing her towards the bedroom door bodily.
As the door shut behind me I took Chris into my arms and hugged her tightly relishing the feeling of holding her female form so close to mine. Could I really have got it so wrong for all those years?
"I don't know what to do, will you teach me?"
"Oh yes, but don't worry, it'll come to you. Just think about all the things that you wished your boyfriends had done for you"
Her lips found my neck causing me to shiver and as her hands ran down my sides, lightly brushing the edges of my breasts I couldn't stop a small moan escaping my lips. She sat me on the bed and looked into my eyes.
"You're sure you want to do this? You can still say no if you want to"
Her pupils were dilated which I found deeply erotic and I answered her by raising a shaky hand up to her throat and tracing the V of her Tee shirt down towards her breasts. The air seemed too thick to breathe as she started to slowly unbutton my shirt, never once taking her eyes off mine, constantly checking for consent as she slipped it off my shoulders and it fell to the bed.
She stood and pulled her Tee shirt over her head and as she undid her bra I could see her big dark nipples standing firm and erect and suddenly I had to suck them.
I stood and stared at them, unsure of myself until she smiled and said "Go ahead honey, just go with the flow and do what you feel"
So I bent and took the first one into my mouth like a starving baby. I suckled greedily as Chris reached behind me to let my own breasts fall free and as she cupped one of them in her hand and caressed the nipple with her thumb I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Chris lifted my head from her breast and pulled me into a tight embrace, and as she kissed me the sensation of feeling our naked skin pressing against each other was driving me wild with a passion & desire I had never felt for a man. Sex for me had always been something I could take or leave but I was beginning to see why other people considered it a big deal – I'd obviously been doing it with the wrong people!
Chris pushed me gently backwards onto the bed without once taking her lips away from mine, as she lay beside me I felt her hand tracing light circles on my stomach – her touch was so gentle I could barely feel it but she was making me tingle deliciously. Her hand came up to my breasts and she trapped one swollen nipple between finger and thumb making it so erect it was almost painful, and as she started to nibble my ear I thought I would lose it there and then.
"Are you ready to take the next step baby?" she purred into my ear.
I could barely speak but managed to nod and the squeak that escaped my mouth must have been taken as a yes as she lifted herself from the bed and leant down to undo the button on my jeans as I watched her full breasts sway down towards me slightly.
My zip was lowered and she slipped her hands under my arse to raise my hips so she could pull my jeans off.
"Want to take it slowly and save some for later or just go for broke"
"Do it" I growled back, and she grabbed the waistband of my panties with my jeans and peeled them both over my legs swiftly and efficiently.
Suddenly I was aware of my complete nakedness in front of a relative stranger, but instead of feeling scared or embarrassed I felt wild & empowered. I stood up and kissed Chris deeply as I undid her combat trousers and they fell to her ankles. I felt for her panties and gasped as I realised she wasn't wearing any and my hands were now spread over her naked arse.
Chris stepped away from me and did a twirl, "like what you see?" she purred at me
"Oh god yes" I answered honestly; she'd had a beautiful body hidden under her baggy combats and tee shirt; her legs were shapely and firm and they met at a small triangle of neatly trimmed, very short dark hair. She was tanned and her skin was the colour of warm caramel. Her arse was tight and high and I guessed she worked out as her stomach was flat with a perfect little dimple of a belly button. My eyes were drawn back to those beautifully pert but full breasts and I was mesmerized by a small tattoo under her left breast of a broken heart.
"It's a reminder" she stated as she caught me looking "Never to fall in love too deeply, and never to be too reliant on anyone else, it hurts too much when it goes wrong. Anyway let's not waste time talking, there are other things I want to be doing with my mouth right now" and she laid me back down on the bed and fell on top of me, covering my mouth with hers and kissing me hungrily while her hands seemed to be all over my body.
I had never been this turned on before and I ran my hands over every inch I could reach; stroking, kneading and digging my fingers into her arse cheeks as I held her tight against my body, feeling her skin against mine and revelling in the sensation. I felt our mounds press against each other causing such delicious warmth that seemed to spread from my tummy outwards.
When Chris shifted position I tried to keep hold of her but she just placed a finger against my lips. She kissed my neck and throat and planted butterfly kisses in between my breasts. She took one of my nipples into her mouth and I cried out loud at the way her tongue teased my hard, sensitive bud as she drove me wild. She moved onto the other nipple until I could feel myself coming from her teasing tongue and her hands. The feel of her soft skin caressing mine was such an incredible sensation and so unlike any sexual encounter I had ever had before; the attention Chris was lavishing on me so unselfishly made me feel truly desired but I tried to make her stop, I didn't want it to be over so soon but she lightly bit me and I tipped over the edge into my first ever orgasm with a woman, and she'd only been playing with my tits!
She kissed my nipples slowly as I sighed and moaned but she hadn't finished with me yet. I felt her hand spreading my legs and opened them eagerly for her. I knew I must be soaked and I felt her finger slip between my lips easily.
She ran her finger the full length of my slit and brushed my clit lightly with her thumb sending sparks flying through my brain. Before I could recover she did it again, and again, and again and just as I thought things couldn't get any better she inserted a finger and drove it into me, curving it into my G spot and making my back arch off the bed so much I thought I would pull muscles.
She caressed me gently but firmly and as I lowered myself back onto the bed she slipped further down until I could feel her hot breath on my pussy. She smiled at me wickedly as she blew gently on my opening, watching my eyes for the reactions she was causing in me.
"I think you're going to enjoy this baby, just lay back and relax and let me show you how good it can be" and with that her tongue flicked hard against my clit sending me to new heights. She inserted a 2nd finger and continued to stroke them in and out of my sopping pussy while her tongue danced around my swollen clit. I clasped her head between my legs as I rode the waves of pleasure coursing through my body, but each time I was about to lose control completely she slowed her fingers and eased the pressure on my clit and left me growling with frustration.
"Please, please finish me" I choked, nearly sobbing with need and as Chris took pity on me and sucked my engorged clit into her mouth, sucking hard while grazing her teeth against my tender button she inserted a 3rd finger and began to fuck me hard and fast.
My head swam and I felt like my blood was fizzing in my veins as I succumbed to the most intense orgasm; screaming and crying out at the top of my lungs without a care for who might hear. Chris again slowed things down but just as I started to come back down she suddenly replaced her fingers with her tongue and brought her slippery fingers down so that they toyed with my tightly puckered arse.
I was shocked. No one had ever done this to me before – I hadn't even done it to myself, but her tongue in my pussy was keeping my brain too occupied to object and as soon as her finger penetrated the opening to my anus I was tumbling head first into another heart stopping climax which left me weeping openly.
Chris disentangled herself from my legs and brought her dripping face to mine and kissed me slowly and deeply, sharing my juice with me.
I stared into her eyes not knowing what to say; somehow 'thank you' seemed wholly inadequate but my words caught in my throat as I fought back sobs of joy.
This woman had shown me a side of myself I had no idea existed, and with it had allowed me to see the pleasure that could be had from sex and what it was to be loved by a woman.
"Can you stay tonight?"
"Oh course. I need to learn how to do that to you."
"You will, but not tonight"
I tried to reciprocate, eager to learn, but Chris just wrapped me in her arms and pulled the big soft duvet over us. As I lay with my head on her breast listening to her heartbeat my mind was racing and I couldn't believe she was suggesting we sleep, but in the space of a couple of minutes I could feel myself relax and sleep washed over me as I lay cradled in her arms feeling safe and cherished.
I awoke the next morning to find Chris sat naked on the end of the bed staring at me. I smiled sleepily at her and she came back to bed to resume my lesson. We spent the whole day talking and cuddling and fucking, only leaving the bedroom to visit the bathroom or collect pizza from the delivery guy and by the time I left that evening I had learned many ways to give Chris the pleasure she had given me.
I learnt that she was extremely ticklish and that she found it a turn on, I learnt that if I sucked her nipples hard while flicking my tongue against them it drove her wild, I learnt that when she was being eaten she liked it hard and fast – but that slow and firm made her pant in anticipation, I learnt that when she came her whole body tensed like a spring and she shuddered violently, but most of all I learnt that I enjoyed all of these things more than I had ever enjoyed being with anyone else, and by the end of the day I knew I was in love for the first time.
As I came back to reality from my memory I realised that it had grown dark outside and the rain washing down the window pain was mirrored by the tears streaming down the reflection of my face in the window.
Five years we had been companions and had been faithful to one another, but Chris stuck to her resolve and never let herself make any kind of real commitment to me.
Oh, I knew she loved me but I wanted more and this morning as she'd stepped naked out of the shower I had knelt down and kissed that broken heart tattoo.