Lovable, Beautiful Ch. 01

Like virtually every other human-being and many of the non-human inhabitants of Earth, I am addicted. I don't smoke any sort of addictive plant or substance, I don't shoot drugs into my veins, don't snort or inhale chemical combinations that could possibly kill someone. No, I'd say that my addictions are much different than the above. In fact, both of them are.

You could say that I have never really been the most acceptable person-especially as a young girl. Sure, I could look like and act like the 'normal' kids as much as the next girl. The major difference being that I was pretending. I've never been good at that, though, so people tend to avoid me if they know better.

Obviously, the girl talking to me didn't.

"Hi.." She said in her sleek voice. Her beautiful blue-green eyes stood out in the dim purple lighting of the room. The ambler flecks around her pupils were unusual and reminded me of each and every single person's individuality.

"Hello," I smiled, her beauty making it hard for me to find much else to say that wouldn't come out wrong.

"So are you the quiet type?" She sat next to me on the love-seat, her leg against mine. There were two other people on the cushion next to us who were making out and that didn't leave much room for personal space. Not that I minded.

"Mm-hmm." I answered, turning to the left and meeting her eyes. I smiled again. There was something about her, a different feeling radiating from her that I was baffled by. I didn't know what it was, but I liked it in a way unlike what I was used to.

Her face lit up when I smiled at her. It was like she had been waiting for me to push her away. Why anyone would do that in the first place, I didn't know. This girl had the body that everyone wanted in one way or another, possibly both.

The features of her face were soft and kind, glowing with a natural beauty that didn't require any of the make-up that she wore. She was fit to be one of Tyra's models and yet, here she was at a party wearing a very revealing outfit that had gained her plenty of up-and-downs.

"Then why would you come to such a loud party?" She moved the short brown hair from her face and blinked at me.

I wondered what her reason was for coming to me. What it was that she thought I could help her with. I looked away from her and watched the people as their bodies moved in rhythm with the beat of the music. Hands touched and rubbed, hips swayed, legs moved. On the couch across from where I sat there was a girl moving very provocatively on top of a guy in baggy blue jeans. She was in a mini-skirt so I was pretty sure there was more than just a lap dance going on. I warm tingle ran down my spine and I looked at the ground.

"I like to watch people. They do some of the strangest things." I told her, waiting for her reaction.

"But," The girl leaned into me, her hand resting on my knee, "Don't you ever get tired of just watching?"

When I turned my head to face her she was in the process of straddling me. I looked up into her eyes and the fire there made me catch my breath. So alive. Her hands slid up my legs and ran up my torso to my shoulders. She leaned forward and whispered "Kristin," into my ear. I gulped as the familiar tingling ran down my spine again, spreading all through my body.

"Amanda." I said quietly, my own hands running over her legs and waist as her body began moving over mine in a very sexual manner. I groped her all over, enjoying the feel of her body.

Kristin's hands gripped my shoulders tightly as she moved, her eyes intent as she stared down at me. She grinded her hips slower and slower on top of my own until they weren't in time with the beat of the music anymore. I rubbed my thumbs under the waist-band of her skirt and massaged her hip bones.

Apparently this was a hot spot because it caused her to squeeze my shoulders and thrust herself forward. I gritted my teeth, trying to keep control of myself. I wouldn't be able to handle this much longer and I knew it. I could only handle so much. I closed my eyes and ran my hands up her waist, pulling her to me. Kristin leaned down and kissed my throat and neck softly. I noticed that her breathing was nearly as shaky as my own.

I took a deep breath and moved my hands over her body sensually, groping her butt and then moving my hands to the inside of her thighs. She gasped when my thumbs made small circles on her hips. Kristin seemed to lose control of herself and bit my neck.

That was all it took.

I kissed her chest and collar bone, her shoulders, throat. She met me full on with the kiss that I wanted the most. Our lips touched and it was like we caught on fire. Like the flames burning in her eyes had leapt out and ignited us, spreading instantly and taking over our entire bodies.

"R-room. A room." Kristin gasped between kisses. I looked into her eyes and knew that she wanted me.

"Yes-get a frickin' room. Jeez." Someone, a girl fairly close to us snarled, her disgust obvious.

So, I was led by Kristin into someone's room. It was a guy's room, with posters of half-naked women all over the place and dirty clothes swamping the floor. The smell, however, was Old Spice. I love it when men smell like that.

I barely got the door locked before I was shoved down onto the stack of king sized mattresses in the floor. I struggled to sit up but Kristin was already above me, kissing my throat and caressing my breasts.

"Kristin..." It was getting harder to speak, way harder to see straight.

"Mm-Hmm?" Her hand began to unbutton my jeans. I swallowed and my eyes slightly rolled back as Kristin's hand rubbed between my legs, over my panties.

Oh, if you haven't figured it out by now, I happen to be a very sexual person. It's part of my addiction. The lighter of the two, I'd say, but maybe that's just me. The darker addiction is yet to come.

"I want you." I said through gritted teeth. I looked into her eyes, trying to convey 'Hurry up' as nicely as possible.

Within thirty seconds we were both unclothed and all but going crazy. I had Kristin on her back, kissing her throat hungrily as I fingered her. The sounds she made were enough to keep me sane for a little while longer, but not forever.

"Oh, shit. Ahh.." Kristin panted when I pushed even harder with my fingers. Her hands gripped my dark hair and she gasped, sweat breaking on her forehead.

A few moments after she came Kristin rolled on top of me, kissing my chest and on further down. Her full lips felt good against my heated flesh. Kristin's tongue moved slowly between my legs, torturing me greatly. It was as if she wanted to drive me completely insane-and not even in a good way. Finally, I reached my long awaited climax and brought her face back up to my own, kissing her deeply.

"Amanda," Kristin panted, "who are you?"

"I am me." I answered, knowing she'd understand at least a little after the next kiss.

She leaned in and so did I, kissing her softly as I could. "Let me tell you something I've never told anyone else.." I whispered softly into her ear, amazed with myself for even thinking of telling this girl something I'd never even considered telling any of the others.

Kristin blinked at me, obviously puzzled. "Okay." I thought for a moment before saying, "I don't want to hurt you." And it was the truth; she was different than all of the others in some strange way.

"That's the secret?"

I kissed the warm flesh of her throat, its warmth making my lips tingle. "If you tell me to stop, I will." I let my teeth graze her skin, her almost inaudible gasp causing my vision to blur.

I rolled her onto her back and kissed her again. My hands ran over her body, my fingertips barely touching her. I could see the ache in her eyes for more, but I wasn't going to give it to her. Not now.

"Just tell me to stop.. Okay?" I let my teeth touch her throat.

"No-I..want.." Kristin trailed off as I allowed myself to bite very softly into her throat. I hoped that she would be able to tell me to stop. None of the others had even been able to form actual words.

Kristin's body tensed up and I could feel the fear coming from her. I didn't want her to be afraid, so I did the only thing I could and touched her face with my left hand. This seemed to calm her down at least a tiny bit. Her hot blood flowed into my mouth and down my chin. I hated making messes, but it was almost unavoidable.

"Am-A-I.." Kristin stuttered, tensing up again. I could hear her heart slowing. I didn't want to kill her, but I wouldn't be able to stop until she told me to.

I was surprised to feel tears welling up in my eyes, pain filling my chest, making it hard to breathe. A tear fell. I had never felt like this for anyone before. Not ever. I closed my eyes and continued to drink, trying to ignore the sounds of Kristin struggling not to die.

"Ah.." I knew the sounds of death, and these were those. I could feel her body growing colder in my embrace, the shivers letting me know she was crying.

"S-stop. Please." Kristin pleaded, her voice so small and scared.

The feeling that overtook me once I realized what she had said was a mix between absurd happiness and an almost uncontrollable urge to do the exact opposite of what she'd said. I had never stopped before when the person still had blood to take. I fought with myself for what seemed like hours when truthfully it'd only been a few seconds. Finally, I was able to pull my teeth out of my victim, running my tongue over the puncture wounds to close them. Next, I kissed her neck to try and quiet the tears.

I looked into Kristin's eyes once she'd stopped crying and it was obvious that she was very near death. She blinked at me slowly, the fire that had been the reason for her survival still burned bright. It was the only thing keeping her from death's cold grasp.

I had taken too much.

I wanted to save this girl and the only way to do it was to change her. I'd never changed anyone before, but I remembered how I had been made only a year before. She only needed to drink from me, now.

"Kristin. Kristin, you gotta listen to me, now. If you wanna live you've gotta go with me. Let me get you dressed, alright?" I got off of her and started dressing myself quickly before finding her clothes and putting them on her.

She tried to sit up, but her arms were too weak and she fell back, her eyes closing slowly. "Am I going to die?"

"Not if I can help it." I mumbled, pulling her tank over her head. Next, I slipped her shoes onto her feet and stepped into my own. "Hey, did you come alone?"

I could barely make out a nod.

*

When I got Kristin in my car she was fading in and out of consciousness. I sped off towards my apartment miles away, holding her hand the whole way. The looser the grip got the colder her skin got. She was fading fast.

"Hey." I said rather loudly, trying to rouse her back into awareness. When her eyes fluttered open for a second I told her to squeeze my hand.

Kristin attempted to do as told, but to no avail. All I felt was her muscles halfway tense up. I cursed under my breath and swerved my car down the next back road. I slammed my breaks on about half a mile down it and parked. I unbuckled myself and then bit into my wrist, tasting my own blood.

"Here." I pressed my wrist to Kristin's lips, "Drink as much as you can." I begged, praying to anyone who could help that she'd be able to.

My dog Sam was in the bed with Kristin all night, his wide, muscular head resting on her belly. I guess he thought he could keep her warm. It was either that or he could tell that death had a hold of her and he was using his pit bull charm to scare it off.

I was lying beside her, making sure she didn't stop breathing. So far so good; while her breathing was very shallow and slow, she was still alive and that's all that counted. I felt horrible for taking everything away from this girl. I hardly knew her and I'd ended her human life forever.

"Kristin, wake up." I said the next morning after her breathing had become more satisfactory.

Sam lifted his head off her belly and whined at me. I placed my hand where his head had been. Kristin stretched but her eyes remained closed. Sam whined again.

"She's okay, boy." I said, smiling as he crawled the few inches it took for him to be able to lick her face.

This got her attention and Kristin's eyes opened a tiny bit, resting on the large pit bull shaking with anticipation of being petted by someone new. Kristin slowly reached up and touched his head. Sam exploded with joy, licking her face happily.

"HEY-Sam she just woke up!" I pulled him off of her by his collar and pushed the big goober off the bed. He was back almost instantly, crying with excitement.

I got off the bed and drug him with me out the door. I came back, quickly closing it behind me to keep the dog out. He yelped songs of sorrow when he realized he'd been abandoned.

I sat on my bed facing Kristin, who had sat up and began wiping dog slobber off her face. "I'm sorry, he just loves company."

Kristin nodded, looking down at the covers.

"Hey.." I touched her shoulder, "I'm sorry." This apology was for doing what I'd done to her. For taking her life away from her for no reason except the one burning in her eyes. She looked up and met my eyes, a fear there that I had never seen before. A fear of me and what I was.

"You're a vampire." Kristin stated, her voice both curious and afraid.

"So are you." I watched her face to see how she'd react to this new fact. Her eyes lit up and her lips curled at the edges, giving her a sort of child-like expression. But then her smile faded.

"If I go outside in the daylight will I burn to ashes?" She sounded sad and it didn't seem to fit her at all.

"No," I shook my head. "Not unless you look at the sun for more than three seconds straight."

"Will crosses hurt me?"

"Not at all. You're not evil."

"Wooden stakes, garlic?" Kristin asked quietly.

"The only thing that can kill you is me." I looked away from her eyes, not sure how she'd take that. "Also starvation or an extremely horrible injury."

"And your maker can kill you?" Kristin asked.

I sighed, thinking of Justin. "He's dead. The only way I can die now is if I starve or like I said, get a really bad injury."

"You can let you're dog back in if you want." Kristin motioned to the door, where one of Sam's paws were visible in the crack under the door. He barked at the sound of his name.

"Yeah." I mumbled, getting up and walking over to my bedroom door. I opened it and Sam trotted in, jumping up on the bed and curling up in Kristin's lap like he'd known her since puppy hood.

"So we're not really immortal?" Kristin asked, petting Sam.

"No. We can still get hurt by regular things, but we can heal way quicker. For example, I broke my ribs a week and a half ago and you can't tell." I pressed on my sides but didn't feel any pain.

Kristin blinked at me in shock, "How'd that happen?"

I shook my head, "I got.. Jumped for sleeping with someone's fiancée."

"But why would you do that? That's someone's lover-their future spouse." Kristin pursed her lips and searched my eyes, my soul.

"Hey- let me start by explaining that she wasn't wearing a ring and she shouldn't have been where she was if she was engaged." I frowned and rubbed my ribs again. That night had turned out worse than most of them. "Her fiancé tracked her down and found us in a hotel room."

Kristin looked at me for a while before speaking again. "How many people have you been with?"

I looked away. "Quite a few."

"Why?" She was baffled.

"Because I'm addicted. I don't mean sleeping with everyone, I just mean sex in general. Before I was like I am now, a Vampire, they called me a whore but I didn't want the money. Just the sex." I remembered all the people offering to pay, all the dirty men I'd had, all the married women.

"Kinda like 'Black Snake Moan'?" Kristin asked softly.

I chuckled, "Without the chain to hold me back and Justin Timberlake to cheat on, but yeah."

"Didn't you, you know, catch stuff?" She raised a brow at me.

"If I did have something, it's gone now. Vampires can't get sick in any way. Unless of course we drink blood that has been cooked or boiled. That can cause the vampire version of the twenty-four hour stomach flu." I said, thankful that I'd never experienced that.

"Amanda," I forced myself to meet her eyes, "Am I just another.. I dunno, high? Is that all you wanted from me?"

"At first." I admitted, confused that she seemed slightly grieved over the answer.

"What made you change your mind? Why am I any different from all of the others?" She was lost.

I thought about it for a moment before answering. "Something in your eyes. A fire greater than anyone else's. You're the first person to be able to tell me to stop. Everyone else.. They died."

Kristin's eyes filled with sadness, "How many have you..?"

"Quite a few." I said once again. I stood and walked towards the door, motioning to Kristin to follow me into the living room of my apartment. Sam trotted into the kitchen and barked one single bark. He wanted his breakfast and would continue to bark once every thirty seconds until I got it for him.

"Hold on. Make yourself at home; I gotta feed that goofball." I walked into the kitchen where Sam was sitting in front of his bowl. I opened the little closet where I kept his dog food and scooped out half of a large Folgers's can of Purina Dog Chow. Then I closed the door and poured his food into his oversized bowl.

He looked up at me like I was being mean to him and whined.

"What-Oh. I forgot." I mumbled, getting him an egg out of the fridge and cracking it on top of his food. It had become a habit when I was human to give him an egg every morning because I had one and now he wouldn't eat the first meal of the day without it. It was unusual for me to forget, but I had other things on my mind.

"Kristin, you want a bottle of water?" I called into the living room.

"Yes." Kristin answered, walking into the kitchen. I handed her an ice cold bottle and tried to smile at her. I wanted her to feel welcome here, because she was stuck with me. As long as I was alive, she would never be able to live more than two hundred miles away from me.

"I have a request." Kristin looked bashful.

"Anything."

"I don't have any family or friends; I live by myself in an apartment and I was wondering if maybe since my lease is up.. I could possibly move in with you. At least until you teach me all I need to know. Then, if you want I can leave." Kristin said nervously.

Something inside me seemed to jump for joy at the offer. "Yeah. I owe you pretty bad, anyway."

"For what?" Kristin questioned.

"Putting you in this situation."

Kristin smiled warmly at me, melting away at the ice surrounding my heart. "If you think about it, I owe you for saving me. You didn't have to tell me the secret."

"But I wanted to. Like I said, there's something about you." I smiled at her, in shock that I was willingly saying nice things to someone I didn't plan on draining anytime soon. It was an odd feeling to be kind to another person just because I felt like it. I liked it.

Again she beamed at me, making me feel a little self conscious. How could someone be that beautiful? I'd never once been called ugly in my whole entire life, but Kristin was just gorgeous in a whole different kind of way. I looked away from her, afraid that if she stared into my eyes for too long that she wouldn't like what stared back at her.