Love: Finding the Cost

"What's wrong Sweetie?" Belinda asked as soon as she opened the door and found me there blubbering.

I think it took half an hour, of my oft interrupted attempts of telling her, before she caught the gist of what my problem was. When she did, she handed me another Kleenex and picked up her phone.

"Hello, give me to Susan.... Tell her it's Belinda and give her the damn phone." She ordered then waited, her fingers tapping on her leg and looking everywhere but at me. "Hey Susan, I have a very upset Kimberly here. I'll take care of her; you take care of your house." She waited and then snapped.

"Look Susan, Kimberly is the best chance of getting your house off probation and back on the Dean's list. Don't be an idiot. You might also want to look up who her grandmother is, before you do something really stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah I've heard it all before." She said and disconnected the call.

"What did she say?" I asked between sniffles.

"The same as always. I'm sorry Kimberly, but Susan and I have a history. Not a good one at that. But, lucky for you, she's graduating this year, finally; and getting married. This is her last hurrah and she knows it."

"Thank you..." I said with tears in my voice.

"Don't thank me yet.... Go take a shower. I'll leave a robe that should fit, while I get us some food. I was serious about you making the Dean's list. So, since you're here, and the store is closed today. Let's see how much studying we can get done." She smiled sweetly and showed me where the shower and towels were.

She ordered me the most killer omelet I've ever eaten, from a little place down the street. She joked around until I was laughing again. We had a great day just paling around and talking about things that most people would ignore. I was surprised on just how much Belinda knew about all the subjects I was taking.

It was after lunch when she asked. "So, you have a two week break, why don't you go home and visit the family? It might take some of the heat off. Susan can be a real prissy bitch."

I know, the question was innocent, but still. "I can't! I never want to go back." I said as tried to change the subject. Like that had a chance in hell of working.

"Why not...?" She asked quietly and simply, cutting though all my bullshit.

So, I had to tell her. Not the greatest moment in my life, but at least I told her the truth.

"So, are you adverse to your mother having a woman as a lover?" She asked me looking out of the corner of her eye.

"No, not really. To be honest, I think I was more jealous than anything. I felt like Michelle was stealing my mom away. And then, to have her look so good I felt like a hag in comparison, didn't help either." I shrugged.

"Are you a virgin?" She asked with some surprise.

"Um, yeah... I've never found anyone who... Why does it show?" I asked, blushing to my hairline.

"Only to those of us who know what to look for. I bet Susan thought you were just like her when she welcomed you into the house. I mean you look like sex personified. That's part of Susan's and my history...." She said sadly.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want too." I said, seeing how deeply she felt about it.

"No, it's okay. You shared something personal, now it's my turn." She paused. "Susan and I had some of the same classes. I looked up her grades and saw her GPA and mine were the highest in the class. So, we started hanging out. I was a senior and she was frosh, but I thought I found a kindred spirit."

"What happened?" I asked, feeling her pain.

"We had this one teacher. We both wanted to do some extra credit. They forgot to lock the door. When I opened it, I found out what she meant by extra credit. She was bent over his desk and he was pounding her like his life depended on it. When they saw me, she offered for me to join in the fun. I slammed the door and ran."

"Oh, wow. What happened then?" I knew this wasn't going to have a happy ending.

"I went to the Dean. Susan pleaded that he forced her, or he would fail her. I guess he was on probation for something similar. He was fired, she was pulled from the Dean's list and she has hated me since. I think she had some plans with that teacher, and I seriously messed them up." She shrugged.

"I'm sorry. Why didn't you just leave? With your abilities you could have gone anywhere." I asked stunned, since that was exactly what I was thinking of doing. "How do you know who my Grammy is anyway?" I asked finally putting a finger on something that had been nagging at me.

"Talk about an intuitive leap." She looked at me strangely. "Let's just say my parents and grandparents walk in the same circles, and leave it at that for now. Just like you can't leave, neither could I. Grammy... I never thought I'd hear her called that. She's quite the formidable woman." She said, like she knew my grandmother.

"Yeah, but she's just Grammy to me. Besides you're right, I could never go back after the way I acted. I guess I was just fooling myself." I sighed defeated.

"It's not all that bad. I survived with Honors, so can you." Belinda laughed. "Let's go out and get some dinner. My treat...! I'm tired of being cooped up in here. I have a dress you can wear. You should be able to shove those things into it." She pointed at my boobs and smiled.

"Why, what's wrong with them? At least there not as big as my mom's." I said pushing them out and straining the fabric of the robe I had on.

"My god, your mom is stacked bigger than you? No wonder Michelle couldn't resist." She smiled and then pulled me up. "Let's go.... This can lead to trouble." She added mysteriously as we headed out the back of her apartment.

***

Okay, I'll admit I had my suspicions. I'm not stupid, but I needed a friend right then and Belinda was offering that, with no strings attached. I'll also admit I had the stray fantasy or two about her. I mean she was a long willowy Goddess of perfection. Red hair, hazel eyes, smooth skin, and the perfect smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and what a brain.

We went out and she took me to this fabulous oriental place. We giggled and laughed as the guy went through his little show as he made our dinner. We even tried to ignore the guys who sat across the table, with their testosterone laden attempts at impressing us.

"Goddess help me." Belinda rolled her eyes at their antics.

"Why do you say that?" I asked, ignoring the guys.

"What, oh... no I'm not a pagan or Wicca or anything like that. My Catholic parents would kill me. I just think God, or the Creator, has to be a woman. I mean really, who brings life into being? It sure isn't the man. So, any intelligent person would have to admit that god is actually a Goddess. A female is the only one smart and capable enough to bring forth life. Not some angry male deity checking off good and bad marks on some cloud in the sky."

"Wow, I've never heard it quite that way before."

"Well maybe it's also because I'm girl-centric anyway, but I just can't buy into the whole male god thing." Belinda smiled sweetly at the guys who were slack-jawed, as they looked at her.

"You like doing that, don't you?" I asked her as the boys' paid for their meal, dumped it in a to-go box and fled like the hounds of hell were chasing them.

"Not a real man in the bunch." She sighed and went back to eating her dinner. We had a good time and I was completely stuffed by the time they offered dessert.

While we walked back to her apartment over the bookstore, she looped her arm in mine and asked. "So, what are you going to do?"

"About...?" I asked and leaned into her.

"Your room, Susan, school... all of it?" She looked like she wanted to ask something else but stopped herself.

"I don't know..." I thought for a bit, not realizing just how intimate our little stroll had become. "Like you said, I can't quit. Susan is the head of the house, if I like it or not. I just don't know. Other than insisting on a deadbolt for my door, but that might cause bad feeling between the other pledges and I."

"Yeah, knowing Susan, she'll make your life a living hell, until she gets laid again or this all blows over. Trust me, if you do make the Dean's list, that will help greatly. It's not like she can have you voted out or anything."

"Yeah, but I don't want special treatment either." I replied as a loud sports car came roaring up.

"Lezzy Dikes...!" We heard from the passing car, as a bunch of boys leaned out and made fools of themselves.

"Don't let them bother you." Belinda said, as I tensed up.

"At least I'll get more pussy than you ever will." I screamed back, not going to put up with their shit. Just because two girls are walking arm in arm don't mean their lesbians. "No thanks, you couldn't get a whore to take you even with the money!" I yelled as he gave me the finger.

"Okayyyy.... We need to get you off the street before you start a fight." Belinda laughed while looking at me totally astonished.

"Stupid assholes... I'm not it the mood.... No strike that; I am in the mood... in the mood to pull their tiny nut sack over their brainless heads." I yelled, as Belinda pulled me behind her.

"No, make that a riot." Belinda was laughing hysterically as she pulled me off the main street and into the alley behind the store. By the time she pushed me up the stairs and opened the door, I was laughing with her.

"The look on their face.... Did you see the look on their faces? It was priceless." She laughed. "I never had the guts to say something like that. How do you do it?" We collapsed on her couch.

"I have a brother. I know where the ego is most sensitive. When will guys ever learn that those acts of bravado don't impress a woman with more than a twenty point IQ? Oohh, call me a lezzy and make me want to fuck you. What a goober! Talk about being at the shallow end of the gene pool."

"Oh, stop... please stop I can't take it anymore. I can't breathe." Belinda laughed as I ranted. "The look... he almost fell out of the car when you told him you'd get more pussy than he ever would. I thought he'd fall." She laughed some more. "I bet he never expect that." She was trying to wipe her eyes and regain her breath.

"I'm a just guy; I'm ssoooo special because I've got a little dick swinging between my legs." I said sarcastically. "See, look at me, look at my bulging muscles, and little brain. If my dick gets hard I can't think straight, but aren't I impressive." I said flexing my arms like a body builder, sending Belinda back into hysterics.

"No more, no more I can't...." She wheezed.

"Football is my life, it been berry, berry good for me... See my helmet and shoulder-ma-pads. I gots a little dick from all the steroids I used, but I'm da MAN!" I was on a roll, as she was rolling on the floor.

"So true... oh so true." She gasped as I walked around with my hand in my crotch like I had a heavy load to carry. "Please... have mercy." She said as she started turning red then blue.

"I wouldn't let them kiss my dead dog's butt! I rather kiss you than any of them." I said, not realizing the words coming out of my mouth.

"You'd what?" She gasped as the room went still.

"I'd.... ahh hell, me and my big mouth." I blushed when I realized what I just said. I didn't even know if she liked girls. I mean I had some suspicions, but still.

"Mood breaker...!" She yelled and jumped up. I thought she was going to attack me, but she just flipped up my dress and raspberried my stomach until I was laughing uncontrollably. "I'll go get us some tea." She said, as she got up and left me there to catch my breath.

We'd both calmed down by the time the tea was made. She served and I smiled. It reminded me so much of the way Grammy always insisted on tea when there was a problem to discuss.

"A penny for your thoughts." Belinda said looking at me, her head tilted.

"Nothing like a nice cup of tea, to settle thorny problems." I said in my best imitation of my grandmother.

"And on today's agenda is...." She sat straight and held her tea with the perfect decorum, little pinky out and all.

"What the hell am I going to do now?" I sighed. "All I need is one more thing and I'll go stark raving mad." The problem was I wasn't kidding. I felt like I was at my breaking point.

"Well, you go back to your house and apologize for the scene you made, but not for the reason you made it. You try and talk to Susan in a calm reasonable manner. If that doesn't work, come back here until the smoke clears."

"Yeah but if I don't live at the house, I can't be in the sorority. That would kill Grammy." I said deflating from the fun we'd had that day.

"Not...! As the illiterate say. As long as you participate in the actives and support your house, you can live anywhere. Hell I only stayed in the house for a year. Then as I stayed on the Dean's list, I got my own place. With my class load, I couldn't stand the constant noise of the house. Oh, sure I had to do the things like help on spring cleaning week and set up for parties and all that stuff, but I didn't have to live there."

"I didn't know." I said thinking about it. "I know I'm out of there if something like this ever happens again," I said sadly. "Just the thought of them doing that, on my dad's bed made me want to toss cookies."

"Well the offer's open, if you ever need a place to stay...." She let it hang in the air.

"Thanks, you don't know what it means to me." I said, and then sighed. "Well, I better get going before they nail my dad's bed to the roof or some other stupid prank."

"At least you are leaving in a much better mood than when you got here. I had a blast... even if you almost started a riot." She smiled and stroked the side of my face, sending chills down my spine.

***

Okay, to make a long story shorter, I did what Belinda suggested and Susan and I had it out. The other girls understood and the maintenance man installed a dead bolt on my door for parties. My future was now dependant on making the Dean's list and getting the house off probation.

Like I didn't have enough stress. That led to me spending even more hours studying. To top everything else, I get a very rude and point perfect call, from my brother. After listening to him ride my case for a half an hour, I finally said that I had too much to do to get home for Thanksgiving, but maybe we could work out something for Christmas.

I mean I did feel guilty, but what was I going to do. That's when it all changed. Yes, I spent a lot of time at the store, even when I didn't need their resources. Yes, I enjoyed seeing Belinda almost daily. Yes, she even invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at her place.

I asked her why she wasn't going home. She told me it had something to do with her parents having to be out of the country or something like that. I thought if I couldn't be at home with family; then there was no other place I rather be than with Belinda, my best friend. So naturally, I said yes. I even showed up early so I could help her fix the dinner.

Instead of turkey, we had glazed beef with pasta salad and the perfect wine. We talked and bumped into each other as we tried to work in her tiny kitchenette. It was fun.

Okay, okay. I tried to ignore the feelings in the pit of my stomach every time we bumped, but to be honest, I didn't know what to do with it. After dinner, we were lounging on her comfy couch, complaining about eating too much. I wanted to repay her for her kindness, so I sat behind her and started rubbing her neck.

Belinda moaned as my fingers found the knots in her shoulders. I leaned her forward and continued down her back. I was almost to the point of having her lay down, so I could rub her butt and legs, when it hit me.

For the second time in my life, I was dripping. I know, I know... I froze. Belinda looked back and just said. "Okay, my turn." I didn't know it at the time, but what I was feeling was written all over my face.

After switching, she started at my neck and behind my ears. Now, I have to tell you that my ears are very ticklish. So, I started giggling. This led to her tickling me more until I was laughing. I couldn't have that, so I turned around and tickled back.

If you've never had a tickle fight, you don't know what you are missing. I can see why it leads to other things, because it just makes you feel so good. It was better than ever getting drunk or high (SSHhhh don't tell my mom.). Before we knew it, since we were going for skin on skin contact, we were both practically naked.

That's when it happened. I tried to straddle her, forgetting the state of my panties. She felt it though and whimpered. "What, did I hurt you?" I asked, not understanding.

"Goddess, you are so sweet." She said and flipped me over.

Yeah, I felt the mood change, even if I didn't know what it meant. After she was on top of me, she looked into my eyes and made my body tingle.

"If you don't want this, tell me now." She leaned down but stopped a fraction of an inch from my lips. I couldn't respond as she waited for my answer. I didn't know if I wanted this or not. I mean I wasn't confused or anything, but I was still a virgin.

A second or an hour later, she finally moved that last little bit and I was being kissed. When I say kissed, I mean really kissed. It felt like nothing I'd ever felt with the urgent attempts from the few boys I let try.

"Oh, Goddess, I've wanted to do that forever!" She breathed as we separated to take a breath. I admit it. I was the one to lean up and capture her mouth again. I wanted to see if that feeling was just a one off, because it was new.

It wasn't. It felt like nothing I've ever felt before. Her lips were so soft and warm. She wasn't demanding, but pulled me in deeper to the kiss as we lay there. The second break, I didn't even open my eyes as I gasped for breath. I felt her move and looked out of my eye lids in time for her to lean down again. Instinctually I lifted my hands to catch her. She moaned as my palms cupped her perfect, hand full, breasts, with their tight hard nipples.

I squeezed experimentally, and softly pinched her buds between my fingers as she took my mouth again. As she kissed me, she started struggling with my clothes. She finally figured out that I would follow her lips as she pulled back.

Getting the room she needed, she had my top off and my bra soon followed. "I've got to have these." She said as her head leaned down and she captured my nipples in her mouth. All I could do was hold her head as she lavished my breasts with loving attention. I was about to go out of my mind and then she started moving down my stomach.

I think I hyperventilated, because the next thing I remember was feeling her very wet face lay on my stomach as I twitched and convulsed. I knew I had cum, as she smiled at me and licked her moist lips. I wanted to kiss her again but she had other plans as she dipped back down and slowly kissed and licked my drenched pussy again.

"You taste so sweet." She said as she took me and made me cum on command. By the time she was done, I was a quivering mass of nerve endings. She sighed contently as she finally gave me a break.

As soon as I had some control of my breathing, I started kissing her again. I couldn't get enough of her lips, even if they were covered with my juices. I wanted to give her the same that she had given me, but my body had experienced too much, and before I knew it, I was drifting off to sleep.

Have you ever been so happy your body vibrated? Have you ever been so content, you never wanted to move again? Then to open your eyes and see the most beautiful woman in the world, snuggling against you. WOW, what a rush! If this is what Mom and Michelle felt like after they make love, no wonder they couldn't keep quiet.

She was still sleeping as I had to scoot out and go to the bathroom. I mean Mother Nature was knocking and it had been too many years since I wet the bed. I was as quiet as I could be and cleaned myself as best I could, before slipping back in bed with Belinda. I just sat there and looked at her.