Love in Chains Ch. 13

After an hour of 'play' Adam and Nye stood together under the shower in one of the changing rooms, soaping each other and enjoying each other's bodies without the drive for colouring the simple pleasure of just being together. They were both tired and calm and replete.

"Adam..."

"What?" He nuzzled Nye's shoulder, licking the water from his skin.

"Do you love me?"

"You can ask me that after what we just did?"

"I... I'm not just another plaything for you am I? Something to use up and throw away when you get tired with me."

"Nye, you are not 'just' anything. You are the most amazing creature in existence. I am madly and completely in love with you and I would give you anything you ask of me, anything. I would die for you."

"Really?"

"Really." Adam pressed himself against the deliciously slick slender body, feeling the smooth muscles bunch under his hands, shivering with the delicious beauty of the emerald eyes that gazed adoringly out of the delicate face turned up to his.

"Anything?"

Smiling Adam kissed him gently. "Anything."

"Then you won't mind if I go and visit my family tomorrow."

"What?" Adam looked startled, the smiling slipping from his face. Nye looked a little uncertain but jutted his chin.

"I haven't been for a very long time and I am missing my mother and my brothers, not to mention Mir. We were always so close." There was wistfulness in his voice that was entirely lost on Adam.

"You know I don't think that is a good idea right now. You're fragile Nye. You've been so ill and what happened with Kane hit you hard. I'd be worried about you if you went."

Nye laughed. "You weren't worrying about me being fragile just now." He turned, his soapy body sliding over Adam's and reached up to entwine his hands behind Adam's head. "Please Adam, support me in this. I need it. I need to see my mother and my brothers... please." He pouted and looked up at Adam through lowered lids.

"Why now? Why is this suddenly so important to you?"

Nye faltered in the face of Adam's frowning censure. "I... it's just... It hurt when Kane told me he didn't want to see me anymore. He's my oldest friend and I can't understand why he would do something like that. I... I really can't understand what I have done to him to make him be so cruel. I... I... was thinking about it and I got so afraid that it would be the same with everyone. I hate to think that my family and friends don't like me anymore."

"You don't need them anymore Nye. It doesn't matter if they like you or not; you're mine now. I will protect you from them, give you everything they could have given you and more. Why do you need to go there?"

"Because... because they are my family and because I need to KNOW."

"You see...?" Adam gently disengaged Nye's hands from behind his neck and pulled back slightly. He took Nye's face between his hands and looked into the beautiful emerald eyes. "It's already disturbing you. Your eyes look feverish and you're shaking. You don't understand how hard it's been for me these past couple of weeks. You were out of it but I wasn't, I had to watch you get more and more ill and be helpless to do anything for you.

"I couldn't even call a doctor because how would I explain the fact that you were poisoned by a rare Uruguayan nerve toxin? I sat by you every minute and watched you go through it terrified you were going to die and leave me. I did that Nye, not Kane, not your parents... me. And then when you started to get better I took care of you, looked after you in every way I could."

"I know Adam, and I'm grateful, really grateful but..."

Adam touched his finger to Nye's lips silencing his words. "Aren't I enough for you? Don't you love me enough to make all those others not important?"

Nye frowned and shook his head. "It's my mother Adam, my brothers and sister... you'll never be more important than them... no one ever could... as important maybe, but never more. Surely no one could ever be more important to you than your mother."

"You don't know my mother... come to think of it neither do I. I don't have a family Nye. I was brought up in care. I have no family, only you."

"Wow. I didn't know that. I'm sorry Adam. That's harsh. But the fact remains... I do have a family and they are very important to me. I want to see them. I need to see them."

Adam gave him a long strange look, a look that made him shiver and his eyes widen. "I'm sorry Nye, but I can't allow that."

"What do you mean 'can't allow'?"

"You've been ill and you are fragile. If you visit your family now and they reject you then I believe it will break you and I will not allow that to happen."

"But Adam..."

"No, Nye. If your family reject you then you will be hurt too badly... you may feel strong but I know you can't take that hurt right now. If they haven't rejected you then they will be waiting for you when you are strong enough."

"But..."

"I said no Nye."

"But they're my family. You can't stop me seeing my family."

"Yes I can." Adam pulled Nye close to him. "You made a commitment to me. I gave you half of what I have and you gave me all of what you are. You agreed to submit to me, to accept me as your master. If you break that commitment Nye it's over. In this game there is no half measure. You keep to the commitment or you leave."

Nye was confused, his emotions in tatters, his shadowed mind confused and struggling to understand what was being said, being asked of him.

"I... don't understand."

"You accepted me as your master Nye. That is an unbreakable commitment. As long as our relationship continues you are completely under my control. Just like I am with Lian. I am a kinder master and my love for you makes me care for you in the way that no other master has ever done... but the fact remains... your master I remain. If I give you a direct order and you deliberately disobey it then the contract is broken, the commitment reneged and our relationship is over."

"But I... I didn't... I never... we talked about it but I didn't ever agree."

"Yes you did Nye." Adam said quietly. "When you were ill and I was caring for you, you made the commitment more than once. You begged for it so that you would not have to worry anymore, fight anymore, have to deal with the world anymore."

"But I... I don't remember."

"Does the fact that you don't remember make the commitment go away... no, it doesn't. You are mine Nye, whether you like it or not."

"When... when you say... our relationship would be over ... what exactly do you mean?"

"I mean you move out of the apartment, give up your job at The Club, never set foot in it again and never see me again. It's harsh but it's our rules."

Nye blanched and if Adam hadn't been holding him he would have fallen. Adam tightened his arm around him as he started to shake.

"Everything? I have to obey you in everything? And if I don't it's all gone."

Adam stroked the wet hair away from Nye's face and shoulders. He traced his trembling lips with one finger.

"It's not so bad Nye. I have my own commitments and I swear I will never ask you to do something just for spite or in anger or for any reason other than that I truly think it is the best for you."

"And you will stop me seeing my family?"

"Not forever Nye. I would never do that. I swear I will not stop you seeing your family or your friends forever, only for so long as I think that seeing them could hurt you badly."

"I... Can't I change my mind? Can't I stop this?"

"It's done Nye. It was your choice."

"But I was ill. I obviously didn't know what I was doing. I can't do this Adam. I can't."

Adam stroked the side of his face and ran the hand soothingly down over his throat and shoulder. "Don't you want to please me Nye? Don't you want to show your love for me and give me an opportunity to show my love for you? I have given you everything I have to give and you have given the same to me. It's just that with me it is material possessions which you have none of... you have returned the commitment with the only thing you have to offer me... yourself."

"I..."

"Are you so sure that isn't what you want?"

"I didn't say... I..." Nye was lost, confusion raging in his mind. His natural personality warred with the conditioning that he was not even aware had been implanted into his subconscious. Lingering traces of the drugs in his system fogged his senses and made him feel light headed and unable to concentrate, to comprehend.

Adam stroked the other side of Nye's face with the back of his hand, trailing his fingers over the pale cheek while pulling him close with the other hand and grinding their hips together. Nye sighed and closed his eyes, melting into Adam's embrace.

"The fact is that this is all academic Nye. It's done and it can't be undone." He kissed Nye gently. "You're mine." And then his eyes hardened and his voice snarled. "And you had better fucking get used to it."

As he spoke he released Nye and simultaneously hit him as hard as he could across the face with the back of his hand. Nye was unsuspecting and relaxed, liquid in his arms and the blow took him completely by surprise, sending him crashing into the wall face first. Stunned he slid slowly to the floor and curled up, sobbing with shock and pain as Adam walked calmly out.

***

When Nye finally picked himself up off the floor and limped out of the shower, the changing room was empty. He stared at himself in the large mirror, fascinated by the haunted eyes that just didn't seem to belong to him anymore. There was a large bruise already staining the pale skin over his cheek and his lip was split dribbling blood over his chin. Another cut over his eyebrow trickled down his face.

Nye touched the cut gingerly and winced. Pressing his cheek provoked the same automatic response and he was afraid to go near the cut on his lip. Even more afraid to look into his own eyes he forced himself to do so and didn't like what he saw. It was a stranger who looked back at him, a stranger whom he didn't understand and didn't like at all.

With a moan he let himself sink onto the couch and curled up, hugging himself. His head was throbbing and he felt sick and frightened and shaken to his core. How could Adam have hurt him like this?

After a while he realised that he was shaking uncontrollably and was bone achingly cold. Dragging himself off the sofa he dressed, fumbling with trembling fingers. Still shaking he stumbled from the room and made for the bar. Jon looked up and saw him coming. Dropping everything he ducked out from under the counter and caught Nye around the waist. He sagged against him, weeping softly.

Calling to one of the bar staff, Jon supported Nye to a booth and then let him slip from his grip onto the seat. Nye was boneless, no strength, no heart. He let himself slump forward resting his head on his arms. Jon simply sat with him, rubbing his back, letting him cry, shielding him from the rest of the bar.

When the barman came over with the brandy he handed it wordlessly to Jon and then stood for a moment staring at Nye.

"Tell him Jon."

Jon looked up and shook his head.

"He's going to end up killing him. And if he does that I am going rip his heart out with my bare hands."

"You'll be in a queue mate."

"Don't let it happen Jon."

"What do you think will happen if I tell him?"

"He'll escape."

"For how long? Adam will go after him."

"We can stop him."

"How?"

"We'll find a way. I don't know how but we'll find a way. It's what he does Jon... he ruins people." The young man bowed his head, letting shining chestnut hair fall over his face. "He did it to all of us but Nye's different. He'll kill him before he breaks him like he did to us."

Jon's face hardened. "Over my dead body."

The two men's eyes met for a long moment and then Jon nodded. "Make some calls Luke, get Riz over here..." he paused. "Do you have Marco's number?"

Luke's eyes widened slightly, then he nodded and turned away. "Luke..." Luke turned back... "I'm not saying that I am going to do anything. I'm just going to talk to him."

Jon turned back to Nye who had remained entirely oblivious to the conversation. Jon doubted that he had even been aware that Jon was present, let alone another person and certainly not what they had spoken of.

"Nye... here... have this."

Nye lifted his head and looked at him with dull eyes. John was shocked by the state of his face. He very gently touched the cut over his eyebrow. Nye was so numb with shock he didn't even flinch.

"What happened?"

Nye took a deep drink of the brandy. "I... wanted to go and see my mother and Adam thought it was a bad idea."

"Adam hit you?" Nye nodded. "Because you wanted to go and see your mother?" He nodded again.

"I... he said it wouldn't be good for me. He said that he's my master now and I have to do what he says. I... I do love him Jon... of course I love him and I want to make him happy but... I don't know if I can do this. But if I don't..."

"Adam's a hard man to negotiate with Nye... but he's not a monster. He wouldn't make you do something you really didn't want to do. I've never seen him with anyone the way he is with you. He really does love you."

"Maybe but..." Nye ran his tongue over his torn lip and shook his head. "I've never seen him like this. Why is he like this?"

Nye's eyes pleaded with him and Jon flinched away from him. "He does it because he can. The relationship between master and slave is a complicated one and there is room for compromise and friendship and even love but... You're in his world now Nye and in his world there are absolute rules... and slaves absolutely don't say no to their master, not when they insist. This was a lesson, nothing more, at least not to Adam."

"But..." Nye shook his head, unable to even begin to put what he felt into words.

"Didn't you understand Nye? Didn't Adam explain it to you, the rules, the contract?"

"I don't remember agreeing to it." He licked his lips and swallowed, closing his eyes. "Adam said it was when I was ill. He said I asked for it, begged for it more than once because I didn't want to have to worry anymore."

"And you don't remember that?"

Nye shook his head, staring into Jon's face with such pain in his eyes it was all Jon could do not to flinch. "I must have been out of my mind. It's just not me Jon, you know that. I... I've tried really hard to please him, to... to do whatever he wanted willingly and he..." For a moment his voice broke and he couldn't continue. He took a swig of brandy.

"He... we were... I did everything he said. I did everything, no matter how hard, how much it hurt. I let Lian... I... Why wasn't it enough?"

Jon frowned. For a moment he looked down and when he looked up there was something in his eyes that scared Nye.

"I warned you about this Nye. Do you remember?" Nye nodded, his eyes enormous. He was shivering, looking lost and young and distraught. Jon sighed. "I also told you that you had friends who would do everything they could to help you, to watch out for you... and I am going to do that now. You may not appreciate it. You may not want to hear it but... Nye, what do you remember about when you were ill?"

"I... I don't know what you mean?"

"Think about it Nye. What has Adam told you?"

"Only that the poison made me ill and that he took care of me."

"Do you remember how he took care of you?"

"I... I don't remember very much at all."

"Think about it Nye, think very carefully. What's the last thing you remember before you got ill?"

"I... I was at home... with Adam. We had... we had a fight but... we made it up and I... we ordered Chinese and we had a glass of wine and we were looking out over the city and... and..." He shrugged. "Then I remember... dreams...crazy dreams and... pain and... I remember Adam being... so... kind."

"What kind of dreams Nye?"

"I don't know... crazy ones. Adam... doing things... making me... Just crazy... dreams... and..." he faltered to a halt staring at Jon, chilled by his expression. "They were dreams right? He wasn't... he wasn't really doing those things to me when I was ill. He wouldn't have... not when I was ill."

" 'If' you were ill."

"What do you mean?"

Jon looked away, unable to meet his eyes and took a deep breath. When he turned his face back his eyes were hard... set. "You weren't ill Nye... you were drugged. Adam drugged you. He got the drugs at that meeting he was at the day after Lian left, the day I talked to you. When I got back to the club he told me about it. He told me that... he said that he was afraid your experience with Lian would undo all the hard work he had put into training you, making you compliant, dependent on him and he wasn't prepared to take that risk."

Nye shook his head. "No." The world was a whisper, but Jon could see in his eyes that he knew the truth.

"I tried to argue against him but you know that there is no arguing with Adam."

"Does he really hate me so much?"

"No. He doesn't hate you. He doesn't hate you at all. In his own way he loves you very much."

"In his own way?"

"Adam is not like other men. He lives in a different world with different rules. If you understand the rules and stick to them it's not a bad world, it's safe and close knit and protected. But if you don't understand the rules, or if you can't or don't keep to them." He paused.

"It's because he loves you that it all went to hell. In the beginning he really didn't want to hurt you. He couldn't bring himself to train you in the usual way. He couldn't bear to break you. So he tried a different way... and maybe it might have worked if he had been able to change himself too, to have been able to bend a little but there is no compromise in Adam."

"He's been manipulating me this whole time?"

"Manipulation is a strong word. He's been moulding you, training you."

Nye sagged back against the leather seat, his face blanched, his hand shaking uncontrollably. Jon wondered if he had done the right thing because he thought that Nye was on the verge of collapse.

"So what... what can I do now? I can't... I can't..." He put his hand up to his face and raised his eyes to Jon. There was blank horror in them.

"Nye, there's more."

"More? What do you mean?"

"Nye... I can't tell you this... I can't. You have to find out for yourself. If you want to know the truth?"

"The truth about what?"

"Just the truth Nye."

For a moment Nye scanned Jon's face, his own a picture of shocked confusion. He nodded. "I want to know everything. I want the truth."

"Adam has left. He left word to bring you home when you were ready. You won't be disturbed."

"Disturbed?"

"Go upstairs Nye... to the room you were in before."

"Why? What's there?"

"Go and see. Give me five minutes to distract the goons on the door and then slip up there as quietly as you can. I'll make sure no one disturbs you."

"But..."

"Just do it Nye. Then you'll know for sure."

Nye opened his mouth to speak but, at the look on Jon's face he shut it again and nodded. Jon put a hand on his arm. "Remember... you have friends here, real friends. We won't let you get hurt Nye, not anymore."

Stunned Nye could only nod again and watch as Jon slipped out of the booth and went over to the bar. After a quick conversation with the three bar men he moved towards the door. His mouth dry and his heart pumping Nye got up and walked over to the bar. He was met by Luke.

"Are you going upstairs?"

"Do you all know?"

"Know what?"

"What's been going on."

Luke ducking his head, unable to look at him, and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry with you Luke. I know the score. I know Adam."

"Don't let him hurt you anymore Nye, please."

Nye looked up and met his eyes, nodding. "I won't."

Luke smiled and nodded. "Walk over to the steps down to the dungeon. Wait until you get a sign and then head for the stairs as fast as you can."