Love Lost, Then Found Ch. 19

After Hank left, Amy had a few hours alone as she drove to pick up Carrie at Jesse's. She had a lot to think about. Things were moving quite quickly and were in danger of spinning out of control. Hank was right. There were four real options. Option 1 wasn't really a good one. Seeing each other once in a while would bring their relationship down to a purely sexual level. She wanted all of Hank, Hank the lover and mostly importantly Hank the man who would always be there for her, no matter what. Option 4 was totally out but she felt that to Hank it was still on the table. Sort of an escape clause for him.

Jesse and Amy talked while Carrie finished putting her stuff in the car. "Did you tell him?" Jesse asked.

"Tell him what? That Carrie might be his," Amy said calmly. "I don't know that for sure. There isn't any proof."

"You're right but you know what you feel."

"Yes, I wanted Carrie to be Roger's not Hank's at first. But Roger never really treated her as his child. I don't know," Amy shook her head. "Have you talked with Dave? I saw you take that bikini!"

"No not yet. With you taking Carrie home I think I can get the others out too. I have a plan." Both had to laugh.

Jesse gave her a hug. "I'm here for you if you need me."

"Thanks. I know."

During the ride home Amy and Carrie talked about many things. This was the second time in a week that Carrie and she were able to talk openly. It seemed a whole new side of Carrie was coming out. A more mature side. Amy thought back and realized that this had occurred about the same time Hank appeared in her life. Did Carrie know or feel something? When they arrived home, Carrie leaned over and gave Amy a big hug. "Mom, I love you!" she said and then hopped out of the car.

"Where did that come from?" Amy thought.

The next morning Amy was cleaning up the house, new sheets, vacuuming, etc. when the door bell rang. Amy was not dressed for company wearing an old tee shirt without a bra and baggy cutoff sweatpants, and no make-up. When the bell rang again, she decided to answer it. "Hold on, I'm coming," she yelled.

She opened the door and gasped with surprise. There stood Roger Perry, dressed in a three piece suit and looking immaculate. Amy stared at him.

"May I come in?" he asked. "It is warm out here." He didn't wait for the reply as he pushed his way in.

"Why, yes. By all means, yes," Amy stammered. "To what occasion do I owe this pleasure?"

"Cut the sarcasm, Amy," Roger rudely answered. He made his way slowly to the dining room table, looking around as he went. "Is Carrie here? She may want to hear this."

"No she's not here. What's this all about? Don't you call before you just drop in? You never come here unless you want something. What is it this time?"

Roger ignored her. "This was my house too. And you were my wife, remember? Can you get me a drink? Water, iced tea, anything." He sat down and smiled smugly. He tapped his fingers impatiently.

Amy went to the kitchen. "What the hell did he want?" she thought. "He never drops by, never calls. Lucky Carrie gets a birthday card. Now what?" She poured him some iced water.

She returned to the table and handed him the drink. She sat across from him. "Now what do you want?"

Roger looked around the house. "Nice to see you kept the house up." He looked at Amy and shook his head. "You and I could have made it, babe. I could have forgiven you. Just a little more effort on your part and you could have been the wife of the next Senator from our State." He looked her up and down. "Christ, you let yourself go, didn't you?"

Amy felt her blood begin to boil. He was testing her, trying to get her upset. He knew when she was angry that she couldn't think clearly, couldn't argue back. She looked down at her feet and then back at him. "You didn't come here for that. Now again, what do you want?" she said calmly.

He was taken aback by the way she responded. He wanted a reaction. OK so she wants it that way. We'll see. He reached inside his suit jacket and took out a folded piece of paper. "I understand you're back with that Dixon guy. I don't understand what the attraction is. Any way, he might want to see this. I think Carrie might be interested too." He slid the paper across to Amy.

Amy picked it up and unfolded it. She tried not to let him see her hands tremble. It was a doctor's report dated about 13 years ago. She could make out Roger's and Carrie's name and something about paternity. All her fears and hopes were in this paper. "So what's this about?"

Roger reached across the table and violently tore the paper from her hands. "God, you are a stupid bitch. Why I ever married you is beyond me. I didn't need your dad's help or yours." He shook his head. "It means that little bastard isn't mine. It belongs to that fucker Dixon. You fucked him before we got married and he knocked you up," he yelled. He got up and paced the room.

"So all this time you knew?"

"Yes I knew. I tried to overcome it but you didn't help. I needed you to be there for me. You never tried. Instead, look at you. You became fat, dumpy, unappealing. I tried hard to satisfy you but you didn't respond. I could give you everything. Look at this house. You turned away from me."

Amy stood up and screamed back, "So that's why you fucked every woman you could? Because of me? Why you asshole, get out!"

"Not yet!" Roger was now standing face to face with her. His sheer size seemed to dwarf her. "I needed a wife that I could be proud of by my side. And it wasn't you. You nearly wrecked my career!"

"What do want you from me? To say I'm sorry. You must be kidding! Why are you doing this now? You have known for a long time." Amy stepped back.

"You almost ruin my career, my life. If it got out while we were married that the fucking kid wasn't mine, I'd be a laughing stock. Now I'm in a position to hurt you and I can. Payback's a bitch. No, I don't want you to say you're sorry. Too late for that. I want to see how you can explain this to your lover and his brat. I would love to see his face when you tell him that you hid his child from him for 15 years. I want to hear how you tell that fucking princess she's illegitimate and you knew it. She better find now so when she grows up, she'll understand why she is a slut like her mother was."

Amy's eyes filled with tears and she could barely see. She was never this angry. She drew back her hand to slap him but he grabbed her wrist hard and squeezed. "Stop, you're hurting me!" she cried out.

"Hurting you! Fuck you!" With that he grabbed the collar of her tee-shirt and pulled. The shirt tore apart allowing her ample breasts to spill out. Amy tried to cover them with her other hand as she sagged to the floor. Roger looked disgusting at her. "You fucking cow," he sneered. He let go of her wrist. "I can see my way out." He threw the papers at her, leaving her crying.

Carrie was just returning from her friend's house when she saw a car backing out of the driveway of her home. It looked like Roger's car. "What is he doing here?" she thought. Carrie picked up the pace as she entered the back door.

"Mom!" she yelled. "Mom!" She began to look around for her. "Mom!" She heard someone in the dining room so she headed that way. What she saw stopped her in her tracks.

Her mother was on the floor, half kneeling, half lying. Her shirt was in tatters and Carrie could see her breasts. Amy was sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. Her shoulders were shaking.

"Mother!" Carrie said as rushed to her. She kneeled down beside her and tried to hug her. "What happened?"

Amy struggled to push her away. Her daughter shouldn't see her this way. "No, no!" but Carrie wouldn't let go.

"It's alright, Mom, it's alright."

Amy stopped and buried her head into Carrie's shoulder. Carrie patted her head until her sobs lessened. She then looked into her mom's face. "Let's get you cleaned up." She helped Amy up and they walked over the bathroom. "Here, Mom, I'll get you a new shirt. I'll be right back." She shut the door. As she walked away she noticed a folded paper on the floor.

Amy looked at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her nose was running. Her breasts were hanging out, exposed. "My God, my own daughter saw me like this," she thought. She was embarrassed, angry, confused. "What was she going to do?"

Carrie knocked on the door. "You alright? I brought you a shirt."

Amy opened the door a crack so she could take it. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Good, Mom. I've made you a cup of tea. It will be ready when you are."

Amy got dressed and took one last look in the mirror. She sighed. She left the bathroom and found Carrie sitting at the kitchen table, 2 cups of tea and the folded paper sitting in front of her. "Now Mother you are going to tell me what happen." Carrie had an edge to her voice and it wasn't a request. It was a demand.

Amy sat down, took a sip and began."Your father," Amy shook her head and began again. "Roger came to visit and he had something to tell me. You too. It didn't go well."

"He hurt you, didn't he?" Carrie asked looking at Amy's wrist. Amy quickly moved her arm on to her lap.

"Yes," she whispered.

Carrie reached across the table and gently lifted her mom's arm. Her wrist was already turning purple and getting swollen. Tears came to her eyes. "I'll get you some ice."

"No. I need to tell you something and I need to tell you now."

"Is it about these papers?" Carrie quietly asked.

"Yes it is. There is no way to sugar coat this. Roger Perry is not your father. That is what he and the papers told me just this morning. He knew for all these years. He knew for all the years and never told anyone." The words just seemed to spill out. Amy looked at Carrie for her reaction.

Carrie sat there and then took Amy's hands gently. "My real father could never hurt or treat you this way."

"I am so sorry, baby," Amy said as she started to cry again.

"Don't cry, Mom. He never treated me like his daughter. I haven't gotten a birthday card from him in many years. He has never seen me play a game. Uncle Jim has seen more and been a bigger help. I hate Christmas because I have to spend time with him and his new trophy wife. He has never been my father," Carrie stated.

Amy stopped crying and looked at her daughter. She didn't think Carrie would react this way. She was acting as a mature adult. "You're not mad?"

"Why should I be? I saw the way he treated you all those years. You have been both a mother and a father to me. You have always been there for me. I love you, Mom." Carrie then did something she had not done in a long time. She kissed her mom. "Let me get you some ice."

Carrie returned with the ice and carefully put it on Amy's wrist. Amy was amazed on how Carrie was taking this. Amy had dreaded this for a long time if her feelings were ever confirmed about Carrie's true father. Now it was out.

"One question though," Carrie asked as she finished up. "Do you know who my real father is?"

"Caroline, how can you ask that? What kind of person do you think I am?" Amy quickly answered.

Carrie sat back down. "Well I overheard Roger and some guys at the last picnic he was invited to. It was just before the divorce. And I heard them saying that the Morris girls, you and Aunt Jesse, really slept around. I asked Aunt Jesse later and told me to wait till I'm older. Well."

Amy sat back and thought. It has gone this far so she might as well finish it. Slowly she said, "Carrie, I have only slept with two men in my life." Carrie looked surprised. "One was my husband and the other the man I love. That man is Hank. Hank Dixon is your father."

"Wow!" Carrie exclaimed as she sat back in the chair. "Does he know?"

"No, he doesn't."

"When should we let him know?"

"The next time I, I mean we see him. We're not telling him by phone."

"How do you think he'll take it," Carrie asked. There was an air of concern in her question.

"I don't know. I truly don't know." Deep down Amy hoped as well as Carrie.