Maddie's Gift

As if he had given her permission, Maddie began to wail, deep guttural sobs that reminded Padraic of a wounded animal. He held her until she had exhausted her cries of grief. When she finally looked up at him, Padraic thought he'd die from the sweetness in her troubled eyes. It was then, in that moment, he understood the deep connection between desire and compassion, for they always flooded him in the same moment. Most of his life he'd been that way, unable to resist a woman in distress.

"What did I do wrong, Padraic?" she asked, her voice thick from tears.

Padraic reached up and brushed his thumb across her cheek. The pleasure of her lithe body in his arms almost overwhelmed him, and he wondered fleetingly if Maddie were really as unaware of her effect on him as she seemed to be. "You've done nothing wrong, lamb," he said gently. "I promise you."

Maddie sniffled and Padraic pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her tears.

"Then why doesn't he love me anymore?"

Padraic sighed. He wasn't certain she would understand the truth about what she asked, the real, deep reasons for Michael's behavior. The lad had acted from the same fears and hurts that drove all human beings. He'd learned that in his own life, about himself, and now, Maddie would have to learn it in hers. "It's not that he doesn't love you, Maddie..." he started to say. But before he could finish, Maddie's lovely face crumpled again and she fell into fresh tears. She buried her face into Padraic's shirt, against his chest and sobbed again as she had before.

Padraic held her and rocked her, listening to her sobs. He'd cried this way many times himself and understood that the source of her grief went much deeper than her pain around Michael. What had happened with her brother had allowed Maddie to revisit the pain she had carried most of her life, the deep ache in her heart around her parents and all the years of feeling lonely, frightened and abandoned. Padraic knew that crying this way would make Maddie feel cleansed and strong, able to see life in new ways she hadn't been able to before. He hoped, too, that she would be more open to his love.

Gradually, Maddie's sobs spent themselves and she wiped her eyes and face with the handkerchief Padraic had given her. She looked up into his eyes and laced her fingertips delicately into the dark soft hair of his beard. This simple act surprised Padraic, yet her touch sent a thrill through him and he wanted very much to kiss her tenderly on the lips.

"There's so much pain inside me, Padraic," she whispered.

"I know, love," Padraic answered gently.

Maddie said nothing more and lay quietly in Padraic's arms. She had closed her eyes, seemingly content to rest there with him. Padraic watched her, listening to her breathing, every other breath that came out of her a sigh. How he wished he could hold her like this forever! If time could just freeze right in this moment, he felt he could be content, wanting for nothing more. Except, well, to make love to her.

Padraic reached up and felt the towel around Maddie's hair. The cloth was soaked and he pulled it away. He wanted to get her hair dry so she wouldn't catch a chill. She could rest more afterward. "Come, lass," he said, gently bidding her to sit up. "I want to comb out your hair. It'll dry faster that way." Maddie nodded and sat up obediently.

Padraic reached into his pocket for his comb, and as he did so, his eye fell on the teapot. He touched it, finding the porcelain was still warm. He poured Maddie a cup and dropped a nip of whiskey into it from the flask on the tray. "Here's a toddy," he told her as he put the cup into her hands. He watched her, waiting for her to wrinkle her face and try to refuse it as she always did when she was ill and he went to give her a toddy. But tonight, Maddie took the cup without a word or a face and sipped from it. Padraic continued to watch her, knowing she was fighting back an expression of disgust. He smiled and positioned himself behind her to comb her hair.

Gently, Padraic worked the comb through Maddie's waist-length golden hair. He loved the silky feel of it against his callused palms, delighting in the way the firelight glinted off of it, making it shimmer. To him, Maddie was like an angel, an angel whose faults and weaknesses he already knew. He loved her completely.

"Maddie, listen to me," he said as he ran the comb through her hair, down the length of her back. He was vividly aware that just a thin layer of nightgown rested between his fingertips and the soft skin of her back, and the thought sent a frisson of heat down his body and into his groin. "This pain you're feeling, it's not a bad thing. I promise you. You must let yourself feel it. If you don't, your whole life will go crooked, and you won't even know when you're truly happy or sad. Or when you have love or hate."

Maddie turned and looked up at him. Though her eyes were red and puffy from crying, she was still beautiful to him. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Padraic," she said. "No one in my life has ever treated me so well."

Padraic felt his heart surge, and he put the comb down a moment to collect himself. "Thank you, lass," he said quietly. "I'm honored you feel that way. I've always believed I've been part of the problem in your life, rather than the solution."

But Maddie shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "You mustn't think that again, ever." She looked again at Padraic, who had begun once more to lift the comb to her hair. "It was never your fault," she said softly. "Mum would have gone to someone no matter what. She was so unhappy." Maddie paused and reached out, putting her delicate hand on Padraic's arm. "Thank God it was you."

Padraic felt tears sting his eyes and he put his hand over hers. The effort he had to make to hold himself back from gathering Maddie into his arms and kissing her with a passion from his depths was monumental. What she'd said was, for him, tantamount to a declaration of love and faith. With his other hand, he reached out and cupped her cheek against his hand, thrilling when she put her hand over his.

"I love you, Padraic," she said softly.

Padraic caught his breath. By God, she'd said it! Not that she necessarily meant love in the way Caroline had all those years. But it was a start! He wanted her here with him now, and couldn't hold back telling her any longer. After what had happened tonight with Michael, Padraic was terrified that if he didn't at least take a chance, Maddie would go off in her fragile state and give herself to some other man, another emotional weakling like her brother or father who'd throw her over at the first sign of difficulty. He'd seen such a fate befall other lasses, their lives destroyed by loving the wrong man. He'd be damned before he'd let that happen to Maddie.

"Don't go back there, Maddie," he said, almost in a whisper. "To that house."

Maddie's blue eyes widened. "Tonight?"

Padraic could feel her hands begin to tremble under his. He prayed he was doing the right thing. "Ever. Stay here. With me."

CHAPTER THREE

Maddie stared at Padraic. The empty teacup and saucer in her hands rattled with the trembling that shivered through her body, and she let Padraic take the china from her and set it back on the tray. Had he just said what she thought he said? Stay here. With me. The words echoed through her mind. He was waiting for her answer.

She couldn't imagine he'd meant it that way. How could he when he'd just had her completely naked, rubbing every inch of her body with a towel and had gone about it in such a brisk, businesslike way, as if she were one of the crofters' sheep getting a bath before shearing? Maddie had always felt inferior to her mother, especially with Padraic, and his non-reaction to her nudity had confirmed her feeling. And yet, there had been something about the way he'd said those words. She felt it deep inside, in spite of her doubts.

"Padraic," she began, her voice coming out in a whisper, "D'you mean..." She couldn't finish the question for the sudden hard pounding of her heart. She could only point to him, then back at herself.

Padraic nodded. "Aye, Maddie," he said softly.

Maddie smiled shyly, suddenly painfully self-conscious. The fire-lit room began to tilt, perhaps from the whiskey in the toddy. No, it wasn't that. It was Padraic, the way he was looking at her. She had seen him look that way at her mum, with a tenderness that made her weak inside. But she was not her mum. She was Maddie, and he was looking at her! Oh my God! Her memory came to her clearly now, unblocked by her grief around Michael. Padraic had looked at her that way before! Many times, actually, when they were together in recent months. Wandering through the ruins of Sweetheart Abbey on a Sunday afternoon. When she followed him around the stables or went with him to a crofter's home and they'd walk back together. He'd gaze at her and Maddie would feel all strange inside, and shy, not understanding this sensation of feeling torn between wanting to be in Padraic's arms and needing to run and hide from him. She'd been too blinded by her preoccupation with Michael to realize that her reaction was from Padraic's loving gaze. What a fool she'd been!

"D'you...feel...that way about me?" she asked, still incredulous. How strange it felt to have believed all this time that her heart's desire, born in her heart all those years ago, was right here, in front of her, hers for the taking! She began to tremble as doubt plagued her, tamping down the joy that wished to burst out. She had to know for sure, beyond any doubt.

Padraic lifted Maddie's hand to his lips and pressed them into the soft flesh of her palm, sending the most pleasurable shivers through her body. Padraic's soft beard tickled her skin and she longed for him to kiss her.

"Padraic..." Maddie whispered. He'd kissed her hand one other time like that, and she'd felt the same as she did now. It was shortly after her parents had been killed in the fire. Maddie had gone to the cottage to see Padraic and had found him right here, in this spot, sobbing. He was holding a scarf that had belonged to Caroline, and when Maddie drew closer to him, she could smell her mother's perfume still clinging to it. Maddie had reached out and gingerly pressed her small hand on Padraic's shoulder. Unexpectedly, Padraic grasped her hand as she touched him. He looked up at Maddie, his dark eyes red and raw from crying, then brought her hand to his lips, holding it there for what seemed a long time. Maddie was just nineteen then, and knew as Padraic's lips brushed her skin, that the budding love she'd felt for him seven years before was still in her heart and had only deepened. At the time, Maddie was with Michael, and had cursed her heart for being as complex and troublesome as her mother's had been. Maddie had fought back her feelings for her own sake and Michael's. But she soon learned that fighting her love had only strengthened it instead of making it go away.

Now, she didn't have to fight anymore.

Padraic released Maddie's hand and touched her cheek. Her fingertips still rested on his beard, and she let them wander along the soft dark hair with its striking threads of silver. Her eyelids began to flutter closed as her body filled with tingling heat. Padraic's beard was as soft as the richest mink, and the feel of it thrilled her as she rested her whole hand against his cheek.

Padraic moved closer to Maddie on the sofa and leaned in to her. Now their faces were so close together that Maddie could feel his warm breath on her cheek and smell the aromas of soap and pipe smoke he carried on his lips and beard. Gingerly, she slid her hand off his cheek to the back of his neck, which felt warm and strong to her touch. Padraic's lips were now almost against hers, a mere breath away, and she ached for them. She closed her eyes just as he kissed her, brushing his lips over hers, forth and then back again, tenderly, sweetly, and then more boldly, parting her lips with his tongue to slide it between them.

Slowly, Padraic pressed his tongue against hers, tasting it and caressing it as he put his arms around Maddie, pulling her closer to him until her breasts pressed tightly against his chest and she felt the heat from his body radiating into hers. The warmth gathered inside her and a pulsing, like a separate heart beating sprang to life between her legs. With each moment that passed, she felt her clitoris swelling and aching, her musky nectar beginning to gather. Maddie had not known that a man's kiss and touch could be so intense and so tender all at once, and make her feel so desired, like she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

Maddie embrace Padraic. The brawny strength that filled her arms made her melt yet further and her breathing grew more ragged as she let her hands roam over his back, exploring the slopes and ridges of muscle under his shirt.

The tentativeness of their first kisses dissipated in the growing heat, and Padraic laid Maddie against the back of the sofa, his body over hers, feathering soft kisses across her cheek and down her throat, suckling gently on the tender skin. Maddie moaned softly. The sound she made seemed to rouse him, for he stirred against her and closed his left hand gently but hungrily over her breast through her nightgown. Maddie heard Padraic's breath catch in his throat as the soft roundness filled his palm. Very tenderly he squeezed, the gentle pull giving Maddie a surge of pleasure. She moaned softly again when Padraic brushed his fingertips back and forth over the nipple and rolled it between his thumb and forefinger, teasing the soft pink tip to aroused stiffness.

She tilted her head back, her breasts heaving with her breaths of arousal. She hadn't known it could be like this, tender and passionate all at once. Padraic was savoring her thoroughly, appreciating her and enjoying holding her in his arms, taking just a little taste at a time, with the promise of more delicious pleasure yet to come...

Maddie reached up and put her hand over Padraic's, following the movement of the gentle, sensuous pull on her flesh. He was breathing heavily and lifted his face from their kisses to gaze down on her. His dark eyes smoldered with a mixture of arousal and tenderness. "I love you, Maddie," he whispered, moving his hand from her breast to touch her hair. He lifted a strand and ran his fingertips down the length of it. "Your hair's almost dry. But the upstairs is chilly and I don't want you to get sick. We'll wait here by the fire."

Maddie put her arms around Padraic, her body burning for his bare skin against hers. "Let's not wait," she whispered close to his ear. "You'll keep me warm. I can't catch a chill then."

Maddie's seductive words elicited a soft groan from Padraic and he pulled her more tightly against him. But at the same time, she felt his restraint. He gazed deeply, meaningfully into her eyes. "You heard what I said before, Maddie, about not wanting to lose another woman I love?" he asked softly.

Maddie's breath caught in her throat. Yes, she'd heard him say that, but she'd been too overwrought at the time for the words to register in her consciousness. Now, they did, and Maddie returned Padraic's embrace as the full force of his words sank in. For Padraic, Maddie was as important to him as Katherine whom he'd married and who'd borne him his son; and as important as Caroline whom he'd loved for many years through the worst, heartrending difficulties. If the way he felt wasn't a man's love for a woman, nothing was. She reached up and stroked Padraic's hair. "Aye, Padraic," she whispered. "I understand. We'll wait."

Padraic stirred against Maddie, and she could feel his rising erection press into her thigh through her nightgown. He kissed the side of her neck, his lips slightly parted, feathering the tip of his tongue along the smooth skin, and upward, over her jaw and cheek, back to her lips, which he claimed in a deep sensuous kiss. Slowly, tortuously, Padraic plunged his tongue between Maddie's lips, tasting her, only to recede and do the same teasing movements over and over until Maddie throbbed so badly between her legs, she wished Padraic would just push up her nightgown and take her. She knew she was ready, wet and open, aching for the hot thrust of his erection. But he seemed determined to make the arousal last, at least until they were upstairs, in his bed. She grasped at Padraic's back muscles through his shirt, losing herself in his strength and in the delicious masculine aromas rising from his skin and hair. She was in a completely different world, one of deep intimacy and passion, a world into which she had catapulted and wished never to leave.

The ache between Maddie's legs grew to painful urgency and she wanted him inside her so desperately she was prepared to beg Padraic to take her. She was about to whisper a plea into his ear when finally he lifted his face from hers and tested the dryness of her hair again. He picked up a golden strand and pressed it to his lips. Maddie waited, watching his face eagerly, her chest rising and falling with ragged breaths. Padraic looked at her, his dark eyes dusky and his lips moist from their kissing. "Let's go to bed," he whispered.

They rose from the sofa and Maddie stood close to Padraic, waiting for him to bank the fire. When he'd finished, he picked Maddie up and carried her up the stairs to his bedroom. Gently he set her down by the four-poster bed and pulled back the covers. "Go on, get in," he told her, his voice fallen to a husky whisper.

Maddie climbed onto the bed, sinking down into the feather bed on the mattress. She sat, watching Padraic take off his boots, undress, and drape his clothes over a nearby chair. The storm outside had abated, but in the distance, lightning still flashed, illuminating Padraic's muscular physique in the darkness. Maddie moved over on the bed to make room for him as he climbed in beside her, pausing only to take hold of her nightgown and lift it up over her head. The air was chilly against her skin, but Padraic tossed the nightgown aside and gathered Maddie into his arms, laying her down underneath him, warming her with the length of his strong body against hers. Maddie pulled the goose down comforter over them and then embraced Padraic, melting against the delicious heat of his skin as his strength filled her arms.

Maddie let her hands roam freely over Padraic's back while he kissed her. His kisses were now more fervent, and Maddie could feel him letting go of his restraint in the way he nibbled at her lips and suckled her tongue. She felt him taking possession of her and opened her legs so he could settle his hips between them. His hard cock pushed against slit, sliding up and down along the swelling pink.

The sensation was intensely pleasurable and Maddie responded by raising her hips, rubbing against his hardness. Yet, still he waited, lowering his face to Maddie's breasts, capturing each dusky pink nipple in his mouth and suckling it with tender passion. The warm moist suction of his mouth on her breasts caused Maddie to moan and arch her back upward as she gently clasped Padraic's head in her arms and stroked his hair.

Padraic's hand had been resting on Maddie's hip while he kissed her breasts, but now she felt it steal downward, his fingertips lightly stroking the moist lips of her opening. Maddie moaned and pushed against his hand, her sex soft and wet and yielding, urging him to explore her with more abandon. Gradually, Padraic slid his fingers into her, slowly at first, then more deeply, in and out, withdrawing then plunging in again, disappearing into her swollen, wet sheath. Padraic moved his fingers around, stretching the flesh, eliciting more moans from her, then withdrew them, spreading the nectar he had gathered with his fingertips over the sensitive nubbin of flesh above the opening.