Massage Mat Ch. 04

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"Well, that shoots down one theory," Lori said softly.

"What theory is that?" I asked.

"They say that if you have sex with someone of the same gender it doesn't necessarily mean you're...um...gay. They say that you can tell if you're gay or not at by how it feels to kiss. Kissing someone of the same gender is supposed to be harder to do if you're straight than having sex with them," she said.

"That sounds like psycho-babble to me," I said, impulsively kissing her again. "Do you think I'm queer?"

"I don't know," she answered, pulling my face downward, "I have to do more research." This time as we kissed, her hands ran through my hair and over my back. I took her face in my mine and held her gently as our tongues swirled and danced in each other's mouths.

"How's the research going?" I asked when we came up for air. Lori smiled.

"Inconclusive so far. I think we need to conduct further tests," she said in a mock clinical voice before kissing me again. We parted and I looked down at her.

Lori's face was flushed and her eyes were fixed on me, her lips slightly parted. I could see my friend's nipples poking out the material of her sweater. She's so aroused, I thought to myself.

And I was...what? I wrapped my arms around Lori and hugged her, trying to give myself some time to sort out how I was feeling. Lori sensed my hesitation, and pulled away slightly.

"Beth. Is something wrong?" she asked. Her face was dark with concern. I hugged her close to me again and kissed her hair.

"No," I began, "and...well...yes. But it's not you, Lori. Honest. It's just that...I don't know..." I released her and slumped back against the couch. "There's been a lot going on in my life lately, and to be honest I'm not sure about how I feel about anything right now."

She took my hand. "I'm so sorry," she said, "I never meant to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable." She looked emotional. I took her back in my arms.

"No. It's not you," I tried again. Lori pulled away and held my hand. We sat in silence for a long time.

"Beth, do you feel like you're in love with Angie?" Lori asked suddenly. The question hit me like a hammer.

"No, Jason is..." I blurted out before I realized what I had said. Lori gasped, horrified.

A loud hum filled my head, and the room seemed to tilt crazily. I was unable to move or to speak--frozen like a helpless animal just before the predator springs. And I was about to be torn apart.

"Then it's true," Lori said simply, "John and I wondered about that." I began to cry. There was no defense. "So that's why you and he were on the phone so much today?" she continued. I just nodded. Why pretend any longer?

I looked at Lori. She had withdrawn to her corner of the sofa, and was staring down. Her eyes were wide, as though she had just seen Evil incarnate. She covered her mouth and took some deep, shuddering breaths as though she were about to be sick. Then she covered her face with both hands and shook her head. I stopped crying and dried my tears; indulging in self-pity wasn't going to make anything better.

"I think I'd better go," I said softly, feeling numb. I could see that my life here was at an end—I would have to move away and start over. Somewhere.

I know, I thought, I can move near Jason's school, and we could... We could what? Jason could run home to live at mom's house every night? That would be great for him. He's getting called out as "mama's boy" for some phone calls—how about if mom moves to campus with him?

Or he could sneak off campus to fuck his mother, who just happens to have moved nearby. It would take about one semester for people to get suspicious of that routine.

No. I would have to move somewhere else, and continue to fly up to see...no, let's be honest...to fuck him every couple of weeks. Like the incestuous whore that I was.

How long would it take me to completely destroy Jason's life? A year?

There would just be a never-ending series of illicit trysts with Jason followed by inevitable discovery and disgrace. Our beautiful love would degenerate into a nightmare of lies and living in shadows.

I knew what I had to do. It was time to stop living in a dream world. Time to stop...living...

There were several beautiful gorges on my way home. One brief moment falling through the air, then...blessed peace. Jason would grieve, of course, but he would find someone else in time and live a normal life. I could leave him a note explaining why I had to...leave him. I was the problem. I was evil. And like a cancer, the evil had to be excised ruthlessly.

I could see the headlines, "Incest Mom Kills Self," and I felt a shroud of Darkness envelop me as I accepted my fate. So this was how I would end. I couldn't help laughing at myself. "She had amazing sex then killed herself. Too bad the sex was with her son."—what an epitaph.

"No." I heard Lori's voice. She was looking at me and shaking her head. "No," she repeated.

"Don't worry, Lori," I said lightly, "Your incestuous friend won't trouble you any more. I just need to take care of a couple of things." I got up to go. I knew that I'd better get this done before I thought too much about it.

"No," she said firmly, "You're not going anywhere, Beth." She stood up and put her arms around me, pulling me back down onto the sofa with her. I made a feeble attempt to resist, then gave in and let her hold me. I didn't really want to kill myself. Lori squeezed me tightly.

"No no no no. I won't let you go," she said in her little girl voice—just as she had the previous evening. Things certainly had changed since then, I thought. Then all of the emotions of the past few days came flooding back through me and I began crying again.

"I'm so ashamed," I sobbed. "I never meant for it to happen with Jason. I just couldn't help it." Lori stroked my hair gently.

"Then it's true," she said again softly, as though she needed confirmation of how truly evil her former friend could be. I could only nod. I felt her body go tense with the shock of my repeated confession. We sat very quietly, each absorbed in our thoughts—with only my occasional sobbing to break the silence.

Finally, Lori said, "Beth, you have to stop—" I just shook my head, and she became quiet again. "No. that's not right," she said finally. She wiped the tears from my face with her hand. "What you and Jason are doing is beyond comprehension to me," she said, partly to me, partly to herself. "But you are both so happy." There was another long pause. I felt like a convicted felon waiting for a judge to pronounce sentence.

"I just couldn't bring myself to expose you," Lori began again. "It wouldn't do anyone any good, and two beautiful lives would be ruined. I can't do it. I won't."

I couldn't say anything. I just held her tightly and cried.

"You can't...I mean, please don't tell John about this. He likes Jason so much, and it would...it might change that," I said. "Lori, I don't give a damn what happens to me, but we have to protect Jason. Promise me that. I'm begging you."

"Sweet merciful Jesus. You do love that boy," Lori said softly, stroking my hair. "Of course. I promise," Lori said, "I'm going to tell John that we were mistaken. That you and I talked and it wasn't what it seemed to be."

"You're the best friend ever," I said and kissed her. She clucked her tongue.

"I'm not even sure why I'm doing this," she replied, vexed, "I don't know if it's for you or for Jason...or even if it's for me." She chuckled mirthlessly. "You wouldn't happen to be interested in a more spiritual sort of union with your son, now, would you?"

"I don't think I'm very good at spiritual unions lately," I sighed. "I seem to be stuck with the physical kind." Lori kissed me.

"Yeah. I noticed that. You're like a fucking drug, you know. Addictive," she said, kissing me again. This time I kissed her back. She was right. It was like a drug; it could dull pain and blot out bad memories.

I went back for another dose of the Lori drug. I was starting to get high. Now it was Lori's turn to pull away. I need another fix, though, and bored in.

"No. Wait a sec, honey," she said.

"Now what?" I asked, exasperated.

"I...I lied to you earlier," she said simply. "Now you've been honest with me, and I can't...I want to be honest with you."

"Ok, but kiss me again first," I insisted. She did, deeply. "Now I'm all ears," I confirmed. Lori poked my erect nipple through my shirt.

"Not exactly ALL ears, my dear," she teased, "but let me get to the point. I told you a story earlier about how I went to Angie three times before I was comfortable with her touching me and how John encouraged me to experiment, right? " I nodded. She took a deep breath and continued, "Well, that was...just a story. I'd been with women before John and I were...together. When I told him about my inclinations in that direction...well, he was cool with it. It does, in fact, turn him on to think of me with another woman, so that just became a little part of what we've shared in our marriage." I was a little surprised, but not shocked.

"Well, that makes a little more sense than your first story," I said.

"I'm not done," Beth said simply.

"Oh?" I wondered what else she had to confess.

"So John and I thought that with you being all alone—with Jason up at school now—that you might be, well, open to a revitalized sex life. You know, 'while the mice are away...' sort of thing. I teased John that he might have another girl to play with..." I made a face.

"Lori, I could never do it with your husband. He's attractive, but he's...yours. I couldn't, really," I protested.

"I know. And he said the same thing. But then he suggested that...well..." she let her voice trail off.

"...and so you thought that little Angie could test out Beth to see if she could be 'persuaded' to kiss a girl," I finished for her.

"That's about it," Lori said quietly. "You passed, by the way. With flying colors."

"I thought your investigations were inconclusive," I whispered in her ear, "You had further research planned." She squeezed her thighs together firmly.

"Beth, I'm so worked up that if we do any more kissing..." she looked a little desperate. The combination of so much emotion, the wine and the newness of it all had us both in some dream-like state except that she was ready for sex and I was...confused. I knew that I wanted to kiss her, but didn't feel ready to move past that. Then I had a thought.

I gently pulled away and said to her, "I really would like to just kiss you some more. Just doing that would fulfill me. But if you wanted to...you know...I'd love to kiss you while you..." I don't know why I couldn't say "masturbate," but I didn't. The end of my sentence just hung in the air. Lacking any other ideas, I kissed Lori again. That seemed to be our default mode of expression at the moment.

Lori looked up at me and smiled. "You are...I don't know...amazing is the only word I can think of." I kissed her again.

"I could get used to kissing girls," I said.

"Um. I hate to burst your bubble, lover, but you're pretty used to it already," Lori replied, pulling me down for another kiss. This one was really long and deep. When we parted, Lori was flushed and her nipples were straining against her sweater.

"Beth, I..." Lori's voice trailed off.

"I know," I replied, kissing her again, "Let's get you undressed. You need some attention." I reached down and lifted her sweater and she pulled it over her head. She hadn't bothered to wear a bra. I unsnapped her jeans and pulled down the zipper.

"Ok, but you have to get naked too," she pleaded as she slid off her jeans and underwear, "I want to see your body. Please." Her face had a desperate look to it. Seeing my best friend looking at me with such obvious need excited me in a way that made me feel... Desired. Beautiful. Sexy. Powerful. I was overcome by a wild desire to exert my newly-discovered power over her.

I reached down and put Lori's hand on her pussy. "I'll make you a deal," I said, looking directly at her, "I'll strip if you show me how you beat off." Lori's eyes widened, but she immediately began running her fingers up and down her slit.

I stood up and watched Lori begin to masturbate, swaying my body gently. As she found her clit, I unbuttoned my blouse. Lori groaned and watched, entranced, as it fell to the floor. As I slipped off my bra straps, I could see her fingers making circles around her swollen genitals. I unhooked my bra and let it fall away. Lori moaned and I saw her legs get tense.

I came close to her and let my large breasts swing in front of her face, showing off my erect nipples. She licked them, sending electric pulses through my body. I kissed her, then stood up and slowly unfastened my pants.

Lori was thrusting her hips into her hand and her legs were rhythmically tightening and relaxing. "You're dancing for me," I teased her, "Keep up the good work." Lori's hand sped up, and I knew it was time.

Pulling off my pants, I squatted near her face, giving her a perfect view of my blonde pussy. The sight and smell of it made her moan, and her eyes fixed on it, then moved upward to look directly into mine. Shifting my body to bring my face near hers, I gazed steadily into her eyes, remembering what Angie had done to me.

I fixed her with my gaze and concentrated. I imagined Lori in the throes of orgasm, screaming with pleasure. Come hard, Lori, I thought. Come hard for me.

It worked. Her eyes locked on mine, and I felt her being pulled into me. Her eyes rolled back, and she melted away as her orgasm fused us into one being.

When it was over, Lori fell back, exhausted and shaken. I took her in my arms and held her gently, kissing her as she came back to Earth.

"Oh my God. What just happened?" Lori asked in a trembling voice.

"I'm not sure," I replied honestly, "But that's what Angie did to me."

Lori reached up and stroked my face. She looked at me tenderly and smiled. "I think you've got it wrong, boo-boo. Angie can't do anything like that. She hasn't ever done it to me, and she's had a couple of years to work on it."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I didn't understand her at all.

"I mean that it's YOU with the magical powers, my love," Lori said sweetly, "I've never had an orgasm like that. Not even with John. I...you...we were like in some other place. I saw...myself. And you...I can't explain it, but..."

"I know exactly what you mean," I interrupted her, "I've been there too." Lori embraced me.

"All I know is that you made me lose myself in a way that only happens in story books," she said smiling, "You know how it goes, 'she melted away as they fused into one being,' or some sappy shit like that. But it happened. Didn't it?"

I laughed. "Maybe. Or maybe we're just characters in some erotic novel," I joked, "So what? Does that make it any less real for you?"

"No, my beautiful Zen master," Lori replied softly, "Reality is where you find it. And right now my reality is with you." She pulled me down into a deep kiss. When we parted, I giggled.

"Now what?" she asked.

"Well, I was just thinking that somebody's going to have to get busy writing the next chapter of our erotic novel," I observed, "We'd better give them some good material to work with."

"Yeah, we do. So take me to bed and fuck me," she said simply.

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11 Comments
SociallyDistortedSociallyDistorted10 months ago

Well, 4 in and I am hooked. I love the deeper development of your characters and not just one erotic session after another. I can't wait to read more, unfortunately I have had to take breaks along the way! Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Foxterot7aFoxterot7aover 2 years ago

Truly remarkable story. Unfortunately, Lori's initial reaction is probably typical of the closed minded, uneducated masses when they find out about an incestuous relationship. They are not interested in how happy or contented the couple may be. They refuse to see how complete the lovers make each other. I was happy to read that Lori was truly accepting of Beth's love for her son. This probably the most logically developed incestuous love story I have read to-date.

fentanyldakafentanyldakaover 7 years ago
great series of stories

As other commenters have mentioned, very much alludes to spiritual Tantric experiences. More importantly however is the underlying concept of polyamory which I believe is a far more evolved perspective that I wish was more prevalent in our culture. I have enjoyed immensely your writing efforts. Thank you so much for your generosity in sharing your writing. I assume, & hope , that in reality you are able to indulge in alternative relationships & enjoy the reality of a polyamorous lifestyle.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Tantra - Zen -- it is beautiful writing!

I am working to learn Tantra intentional intimacy and think that what you are writing (the eye gazing, the slow intentional build up to physical stimulation) is like what I'm learning about Tantra.

Whether it is or not, it is beautiful writing and highly believable characters! Thank you for your wonderful work!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Massage mat

Your writing is excellent and you have my full attention and love well done xxxx

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