Ralph Henderson's finger trembled shyly at the doorbell button before he summoned the courage to punch it. He was about to meet his future in-laws.
There was the sound of padded feet approaching the door. The door opened to display a well-preserved woman in her middle forties, clad informally in a flimsy nightgown.
"You must be Ralph," she whispered in a voice bearing the traces of a smoking habit too frequently indulged. She rose to throw her arms around Ralph, and he could feel her naked body beneath her thin cloth nightgown, her breasts pressing into him, nipples clearly erect.
"Jenny has told me so much about you," she said, and Ralph thought he could feel her lips against his neck and then her tongue, which roved up to his earlobe as her pelvis arched forth to rub against Ralph's already risen cock.
"Well, don't be a stranger," she told him. "Come on in. Danny, take his Christmas presents and put them under the tree."
A shy young man came forth to take the shopping bag from Ralph's hand.
"Forgive my informality, Ralph," she said indicating her nightgown with a feigned curtsy. I'm going to take a shower as soon as I get the turkey in the oven, and didn't want to get all gussied up quite yet."
"Here, I want you to meet the clan," she said. "You have just met Danny, Jenny's brother. I'm Jenny's mom, even though I know I don't look nearly old enough. You can call me Bessie Mae; we don't stand on formality in this house. That's Granny Jones, here's Auntie Susannah, my sister, that's Great Auntie Sybil, and there's my husband Tom."
"And last, and unfortunately least, our eldest, Carrie-Elaine," she said, indicating the dark-haired girl with the haunted eyes sitting on the end of the couch.
Carrie-Elaine looked up for the first time and pointed directly at Ralph. "You're going to be gone just like all the others," she said in a pouty voice. "Gone, gone, gone. I hate Christmas."
"Don't pay Carrie-Elaine no mind," Bessie Mae said. "She's a bit touched. The doctors say she's probably got schizophrenia, epilepsy and multiple personality disorder. And they're also a mite concerned about the inbreeding. Well, don't you pay that no nevermind. Come on over here, sit down and make yourself comfortable," she said, patting the empty cushion next to her on the loveseat.
Ralph complied, glancing sheepishly and uncomfortably at the assembled clan.
To his relief, he heard the sound of Jenny's footsteps descending the stairs.
"Jenny dear, why don't you bring Ralph some of that special eggnog you made yesterday?" Bessie Mae said, placing her hand on Ralph's thigh as Jenny made a bee line for the refrigerator. She did not remove her hand as Jenny puttered around in the kitchen, but instead inched it up Ralph's pants until it was micrometers from Ralph's balls.
Ralph started to grow hard as a rock and was worried that the entire clan would see his pole jutting out beneath his pants, but the crowd didn't seem at all taken aback, even when Jenny's mom's hand was clearly covering his balls and rotating them through his pants, just like Captain Queeg on a bad day with his marbles.
Jenny emerged from the kitchen and handed Ralph his eggnog, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that her mom was working her fiancé's testicles like a horse breeder pumping last year's Belmont Stakes winner into the cunt of a willing mare.
"Jenny honey, do you mind if I take him out?" Bessie Mae asked with an uncharacteristic shyness.
"Sure Mom, whatever floats your boat," Jenny said, taking a chug of her own eggnog.
Ralph followed suit, practically draining his own libation. The eggnog was clearly spiked with alcohol, and there was an aftertaste that Ralph could not quite put his finger on.
Jenny's mom unzipped his pants, and his cock sprang forth for all to see. Fortunately, it was a nine-incher, or else he might have been somewhat embarrassed at the way the festivities were proceeding.
Bessie Mae took his shaft in her hand, sliding her curled fingers up and down its length, one nail tracing a throbbing vein, as Ralph gasped for air.
"You see, Ralph, we want only what's best for our daughter, and this here pole might just fill the bill," she cackled, as she grabbed Ralph's cock a little more tightly and began to pump him gently.
"Of course, length and thickness ain't everything. Taste is important too. Wouldn't you agree, Ralph?"
Ralph nodded his head enthusiastically, as Bessie-Mae knelt down on the floor and took him in her mouth. At this point, all the relatives had assembled into a crowd to watch the festivities.
"Mmmmmmm," Jenny's mom said, as her head began to bob up and down on Ralph's shaft. Out of the corner of his eye, Ralph saw Carrie-Elaine's hand emerge between her brother's legs, grabbing his cock, as Jenny's mom began sucking Ralph's tool like a Tootsie Roll pop.
Carrie-Elaine's hand unzipped her brother's trousers and pulled out his straining member, while Ralph watched on in shock as his fiancé's hand reached down her father's trousers to stroke him while they watched the festivities proceed.
"You taste pretty good, honey. Our Jenny picked well this time," Bessie Mae said, as she reluctantly withdrew her mouth from Ralph's throbbing, aching cock. "But, I'm afraid I'm not the only critic whose test you must pass. The entire clan must taste you. As you can see, we are a very close-knot family."
Ralph seemed to have lost any sense of free will or embarrassment, as he silently nodded his permission.
"We're going to start with Granny Jones," Bessie Mae said, indicating the nonagenarian in the flowered shift. "Poor thing doesn't get out much. Doesn't get to suck much new cock any more, and she misses it desperately."
Ralph nodded his assent, and Granny Jones proceeded slowly toward him, propped up by her walker. She handed her dentures to his future father-in-law, who was now ass-fucking Ralph's future wife as though she were a doggie in heat.
Granny Jones lowered herself slowly to the floor and then took Ralph's hungry balls into her well-practiced toothless mouth. She teabagged him and gummed him while she ran her ancient hands up and down Ralph's naked thighs, bringing him to frenzy as Bessie-Mae continued to tease Ralph's straining and delighted cock with her long, colorful, manicured fingernails, her exotic perfume filling his nostrils with tantalizing pheromones.
Then Granny Jones released Ralph's cojones from the delightful womb of her toothless mouth and crawled up his legs to engulf Ralph's tortured cock with that very same orifice and went to work on him.
Ralph could not believe what Granny Jones was doing to him. Her mouth had skills and technique that had been honed over nine (or more hopefully seven) decades of intense practice. The speed of her tongue rivaled that of a hummingbird coaxing the last drop of nectar from a reluctant flower. Her genes had endowed her tongue with an ability to curl and fold itself that far exceeded that of a normal human. Ralph got the feeling he knew where the family holiday traditions had started.
Great Auntie Sybil came forth and offered Ralph's mouth one of her now fully-exposed quad-D cup breasts. He took it in and began to nurse on it eagerly, as Auntie Susannah came around behind him to unbutton and remove his shirt and run her fingers up and down the sides of Ralph's now fully-exposed torso as he continued to suck on Great Auntie Sybil's humongous breast, while Granny Jones worked the magic of her practiced tongue on Ralph's straining cock.
Suddenly, Carrie-Elaine took her mouth off her brother's massive cock and put her hands to her head with the fingers splayed out like moose's antlers. Then all the other family members quickly followed suit.
"Reindeer games!" yelled Jenny's undoubtedly psychotic elder sister, jumping up and down and clapping her hands in unbridled enthusiasm.
Ralph looked up from the delights of Great Auntie Sybil's wet and erect left nipple. "What are reindeer games?" he asked the hopelessly incestuous multitude.
"It's kind of a family tradition," Bessie-Mae explained. "The last one to put up their antlers gets to be the practice turkey. They lie down on the table over there naked and we cover them with various gravies, chutneys, apple sauces, dressings and cranberry sauces, and then the entire family licks the practice turkey completely dry and then votes on which turkey covering we should use. That way, the actual turkey will be the most delicious possible. This year that honor falls on you Ralph, as didn't you put up your hands at all."
"I didn't know," Ralph said, his mind getting groggy as the matrons of the clan began to strip off his remaining clothes, while Bessie Mae and Jenny cleared a place on the table for the practice turkey.
They helped him over to the table, as he was getting too weak to walk. Must have been the eggnog he thought, as he climbed up on the table, with his cock still as hard as a rock. That too must be eggnog, he thought.
Ralph lay there on the table looking at the ceiling as seven tongues began licking the garnishments from every square inch of his body. He felt Auntie Susannah straddling him, lowering her warm and moist cunt over his engorged member. She began to ride him, even as Jenny licked the cranberry sauce off his heavily covered balls.
Not a bad way to pick out the best sauce, Ralph thought as his consciousness dimmed a little further. He looked forward to eating that turkey when he woke up.
They did have a turkey.