tagBDSMMemoirs of a Dreamer Ch. 02

Memoirs of a Dreamer Ch. 02

byDarkDreamerwithHope©

Chapter 2 – Lessons and Testing Begin


The days passed quickly. She and her Lord would talk most days when He was not gone. Their conversations covered many topics, from family, friends, work, to sex. He always inquired about her day and what she did, how work went, and how things were going with her daughter. No one had ever taken an interest in her like this before. She was a bit uncomfortable at first, but quickly began to look forward to His questions. The tone of His questions was not that of one prying, rather more like an intimate friend. Sometimes they would play, but more often, they just talked.

Each day, for the first few days, one of her buddies would come online and want to play. She would tell them she could not, she was not allowed. Her Lord had asked if she could, would give up her playmates and she had told Him yes. When her buddies asked why, she would explain that there was someone new. Most times this was sufficient. When it wasn't she would tell them, "I have to ask Milord for permission before I can play." Her reference to her Lord would stop all of the questions but two. "Are you sure?" "Are you happy?" When they received affirmative answers to both, they would tell her how pleased they were for her and then just talk with her.

A couple of her buddies were shocked. One told her that she had to tell her Lord that she would not do it. He told her she was making a big mistake and did not know what she was doing. Eventually, he quit talking to her when she refused to allow him to tell her what to do. Her other buddy was so shocked he fussed at her. Unlike the first though, he was willing to listen to her. He told her that if she was like that then she was not the person he thought he knew. His statement implied that she was weak and not very intelligent. They talked for a long time and during their conversation, her Lord came online. She explained to her Lord who she was talking to and why. He offered to leave, but she asked Him to stay. She was not sure why, but He agreed to stay online with her.

As she and her buddy talked, she would share bits of the conversation with her Lord. She told her buddy that her Lord was online and talking with her as well. He continued to try and dissuade her from her chosen course of actions while she persisted in trying to get him to understand that she was not changed and she knew what she was doing. Her Lord had been questioning her deeply, and she knew many of His questions were to determine if she was truly aware of what she was doing and sure of her decision. Knowing this she shared those bits of her talk with her buddy that would show Him how she was thinking and feeling.

As the talk progressed, her Lord reassured her that she was still free and could do as she pleased. She told Him she understood, and she was doing as she pleased. At one point He asked her why she did not want to do as her buddy was asking her to do. Why did she continue to talk with him, try to convince him. She explained that this buddy was also a close friend and she valued his friendship, but he was pushing her and she would not allow anyone to push her. Her Lord then pointed out the He pushed her and she allowed it, so what was different with her friend. She told Him, "I trust you and I gave you control. I have not given my friend control."

After she explained a bit more fully and He asked her why did she not just tell her friend that, so she copied and shared that bit of conversation from her Lord, with her friend. Her friend was silent for several minutes then came back with, "I am not trying to control you."

"Oh, but you are,"
she scrolled up and copied part of what he had been saying and pasted it and resent it to him, "See…"

After several more minutes of silence her friend came back and laughed at her, agreeing that it may have seemed that way, but that was not what he intended. Calmly she asked him, "Then how do you know it is not the same with Milord?"

This time the silence was even longer. She feared he had left, but finally he came back and asked, "Are you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then that is all that really matters. I see now what you have been trying to tell me. If you are happy, then I am happy for you. I would still like to talk with you though and remain friends."


Grinning, she told him, "Certainly. Why do you think I argued with you so hard. I did not want to lose your respect or friendship. I am the same person you first knew, I have not changed."

Not only had she kept a friend and deepened that friendship, she had also been able to show her Lord how and why she felt as she did, and how she was handling the changes in her life. Soon her Lord began playing more online with her, and when He learned she had a cam, He would often tell her to turn it on so He could watch her reactions. So began the training of her mind and body for sex, though at first she was unaware of this.

Playing with her Lord was not like cyber sex. With Him, she was told what to do, and He expected her to do exactly as He said, no more, no less. He learned to read her reactions and would often anticipate her pleas or responses. The command, "Do not cum" was one of the most difficult for her to follow, but her Lord seemed to know this was the case and gave her plenty of warning that she was to wait. As their sessions continued, He would wait longer before telling her, often catching her just in time. She knew she was not allowed to cum without permission, but many times, it was only His voiced command that enabled her to hold back.

As her control grew and she learned to follow instructions, He began giving her commands to follow when their sessions ended. Sometimes, if they had not been able to talk for long or play, she would ask for and receive permission to play with one of her buddies. Other times He would ask her if she wanted to play with them, a few times mentioning that if she could wait, she would not be displeased. Preferring the time with her Lord, she would agree to wait. Her requests for playtime with buddies decreased as her need for her Lord increased.

There was only one buddy who even came close to satisfying her as her Lord did. He knew about her Lord and had already told her that her Lord came first and only with His permission would he play with her. She shared this with her Lord and soon Dar was the only buddy with whom she played. She had shared with her Lord Dar's preference to dominate and master her, but explained that Dar was not truly a Lord or Master. Like her, Dar was just discovering this part of his nature and enjoyed exploring it with her. Dar would always ask if she had permission, and if her Lord were online, would leave and not speak with her.

These changes in her life not only brought her peace and happiness, but also showed her who her true friends were. While she had always considered them all friends, this test showed how they felt. A few of her friendships deepened because of the changes, for now she knew how they truly felt. Was she changing and were these changes apparent to her friends? Was this the reason for the changes in her friendships? She was not sure, but whatever the reason, she was pleased and happier. She must be changing, as those who knew her off line were also treating her differently, even her daughter.


# # # #



The other day, she and her Lord talked and He asked her if she was still working on her story. She told Him she was finishing up the section about her father. He asked her about her father. Many of His questions were answered in the narratives so she asked if He would like to read them. She e-mailed the file to Him and waited patiently while He read it. When He finished reading, He told her, "very good write telling me about yourself, My lady. May I ask more?"

"Sure."

"When was your next sexual contact or encounter after your father,"
He asked. She thought back and after a minute, she told Him about her first sexual partner after her father, that she was sixteen and he was her first love. He asked her how it went. She told her Lord that it went very well; her first love was tender and sensitive. "And now you want me to control your sex life? Is that not a big step? Do you really like the way I play with you?"

"If I was younger, eighteen, twenty, twenty-five years old yes it would be a big step, but I am not, and yes I do."

"Why is that?"

"Why to which Sir?"
She knew even as she asked what His answer would be so she was already typing her reply.

"Both."

"If I were younger, had not had a chance to learn and explore my sexuality, then yes it might have been a big step, but over the years I have had that chance, and have learned what I like and don't like. Yes, I like the way You play with me, because You are the one playing with me Sir. You help me fill a need I have and You make me feel good."

"Could you be only My pet and not play with anyone else, other than when I send you out for real sex on a 'hunt'? And what need is it I fill?"

"Yes, I could. The need to be submissive."

"Would you?"

"Yes Sir."

"Could not another do that for you; could they not fill the need the same as I?"

"Anyone? No. I have only met two or three others who could."

"Could not one of the others do better for you?"

"I don't know Sir. They stepped aside when they learned of you."

"I see. Would they not take you back, or do you not want to go back?"

"Yes, I think they would, if they believed I was free to go to them."

"You are free if you wish."

"I do not know one of them as I do you."


Then her Lord asked her to explain why she chose Him to be her Lord. She told Him it was not something she could easily put into words, more of a feeling really, a sense of connecting with Him. He said she must think about it, she must understand the feelings, the why of it, so she tried to find the answers. She considered what she knew that made Him different from the rest, what drew her to Him. As she did, she found herself remembering past encounters, what she enjoyed about them, what drew her to them and how the past was affecting the now. She shared briefly her thoughts and feelings. After a few more questions, He asked her, "So what have you learned today?" "That there is still much I want to learn."

"And…"

"And I would like You to be the one to help me learn."

"Have you found the answer to why you are Mine and not some other's?"

"Yes."

"And what is it?"

"I trust you."

"To use you as I please?"

"Yes Sir."

"And…"

"I want You. I want to please You."


The questions continued with her Lord asking why with every answer she gave Him. While she was thinking, He told her, "I want you to sit down and really think about what you have learned from Me and write it down and we will go over it soon." He gave her a task to complete and told her she was not allowed to play on the computer or visit until she had completed her assignment and they had discussed it.

"Yes Sir," she replied, and asked if she might use the computer to complete her task.

He said she might, but "No playing or chatting."

"You are mine now; I will let you out when I want to, and let who I want use you when I want. No other playtime will be allowed from now on."

"Yes Sir."
As she read His words, her stomach clenched, her clit started throbbing, her breath caught and heat flamed through her blood, making her tremble and gasp.

Before He left her to complete her task, He admonished her for not keeping up with the things He had given her to do, told her that she was trying His patience, and should she continue to do so she would be punished. He mentioned various ways He could punish her and she knew then that she definitely did not want Him to punish her. Squirming in her seat, she resolved to do much better so He would have no reason to punish her in the ways He had suggested. He also told her that she would have to bring home proof when she went on her 'hunts' that she was successful.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Very aroused Sir."

"Good. Now it is time for you to complete your homework."

"Yes Sir."

"With that, good night My lady and remember you can only play when I say you can."

"Thank you my Lord, I will. Good night Sir ~hugs~."

"Let's see the message you will put up for the world to see."

"Yes Sir."

"Ten times, then that is all you can have tonight."

"Milord has instructed me to complete a task for Him... i am not available... please leave a message and i will return it when Milord allows"

"Good. Now good night My lady."

"Good night my Lord."



# # # #



As she was musing over what to write, she thought again of her first love, and she decided to share the encounter with Him, so her fingers got busy on the keyboard. Perhaps when He read the story He would understand more why she was able to take the step He asked her about earlier.


~dreamer's First Time

It would have been Dennis, my first love. We met at the side of the complex pool; my best friend (Rachel) became interested in his roommate (Jake) and that night we went out to meet them at their place. Everyone paired up and disappeared leaving Dennis and me alone together in the living room. I was young and he was good looking. Even then, I was a flirt, and before long, I was in his lap and we were kissing.

As Rachel and Jake spent more time together so did we. We would talk and listen to music while they were tucked away in the bedroom. He slept on the pull out in the living room and we were often left watching Jake's sister's kids. Dennis, Jake and Jake's sister all shared a two-bedroom apartment. Each night Rachel and I would go out and spend it at their place. Once the kids were tucked into bed, we were free to be alone and love one another.

Dennis was always tender and gentle with me. Teaching me to love him more completely, satisfy all of his needs, and he would always make sure that my needs were met as well. As he explored and learned more about me, so too did I learn, and I began to feel more complete, taking more pride in my appearance and dress. In his arms, surrounded by his love I bloomed into a beautiful, sensual woman.

The way he would kiss me, deep, slow, would make me burn deep within. I could never keep my hands still as he explored my mouth with his sweet tongue, coaxing me to suck and nibble, as my fingers caressed his shoulders, chest and back. I would wrap him in my arms and legs, pulling him close, squirming as I felt the heat rising between my legs and him, growing hard against me. His warm lips would burn along my jaw, over my cheeks and eyes, as I whimpered and moaned for more. As his tongue found my ears, I would wiggle and push at him and he would capture my hands, use his hard body to pin me down and continue teasing my ears with hot lips and tongue, driving me to the edge time and again, but never quite over. He loved to kiss and would always take a long time tasting me.

When his initial hunger was fulfilled, he would sometimes release my hands so I could touch him, as his questing lips blazed a trail to the hidden pulse fluttering rapidly within my throat. Other times he would continue to hold me, forbidding me to touch, ignoring my pleas as his lips whispered over my fevered flesh. Slowly, so slowly time seemed to stand still, the buttons of my shirt would be released, and his eager mouth would nibble and taste lower. My blood would burn, racing through quivering limbs, stealing away my breath. He would grin and chuckle against my blushing flesh as pleas fell from swollen lips, past gasps, but never would he be hurried.

Slowly would he reveal my luscious breasts, devouring them with his eyes, before lowering his head to nip and tickle with teeth and tongue. My groans and cries music to his ears, music he could listen to all night. My head would spin as his searching lips sent spasms of exotic desire rippling through my golden torso. Finally, his exploring lips would find my soft pink nubs, swollen hard and aching with desire and I would have to bite my lip to keep from screaming as I spun out of control, only his hard body and gentle hands holding me down, controlling me.

Still he hungered for more, wanting to hear the sweet music he loved so much, needing to taste lower, craving the delectable honey his gentle but firm attentions were causing to build and flow. Slowly his lips moved down over quivering muscles tensing and rippling, teasing flutters to grow deep within and tickle the heat higher, lingering to taste and devour each inch from side to side. Time stopped as did my breath when his long, strong fingers eased into the waistband of my shorts to slowly slide them lower so he could whisper and grin against burning tender flesh. Knowing my breath was waiting, and what it was waiting for, he would pause, nuzzling my hips, reveling in the way they would arch up against his hot mouth, begging.

As I arched, he would quickly slide the shorts off, then once again pin me beneath his long hard length. No longer pushing him away, instead my fingers would glide through his soft hair, caressing, pulling him closer, deeper into me. Aching to feel more, needing his hunger to send me soaring to the stars, I would whimper, moan, and beg. Releasing my legs, pressing them open, he would breath deeply, inhaling the musky scent of my heat, knowing how badly I needed his attention.

Then I would feel his hot tongue laving my thighs, tasting the heat his slow special treatments had built. His fingers would slide under my curvaceous buttocks, pressing me hard against his ravenous mouth. Kneading the soft flesh with firm hands, while he nibbled and teased my thighs open more, until, unable to take any more I would reach for the waist of my panties. He would grin, lean back and help me remove this last barrier blocking his appetite, but not yet would he take the sweet honey he longed for, instead he would stroke and caress my thighs. Then his fingers would graze lightly over my mound, playing through the soft curls, teasing lower over glistening lips. His burning gaze caused a flood of moisture to flow, and then, only then he lowered his head and took that which he desired so greatly.

Leisurely, knowing he had all the time in the world, he would probe and tickle the swollen pouty lips he had been aching to kiss. Fingers and hands grasping my hips firmly, holding me in place, he would use his hot tongue to open velvety lips and find the pearl hidden between them. Circling it tenderly, now and again flicking it gently, he would tease and taste my throbbing bud. Licking all the juices from my lips and clit, he would delve lower, drinking deeply from my dripping pussy. As the flow slowed, he would return to nibble and suck my swollen, aching clit, coaxing juices to flow again so he might drink.

Unable to do anything but moan and plead, pinned by his hands and mouth, my head would begin to spin, my need, his hunger, driving me over the edge again, and again. Each orgasm motivated him to continue, the sounds of my passion and release, the fiery heat of my satin flesh, the scent and taste of my womanhood. Desperately I would struggle and fight to be free of the intense, consuming passion his tasting was causing to rage through my body, but not until he was satisfied would I be released. Forced to fly and spin out of control time and again, until nothing in the world existed except him, the power he exerted and the need he caused to rage.

Only when all else ceased to exist would he release me fervor and lust darkening his eyes. He would slip out of his clothes as my eyes devoured his massive form. The shudders and quivers flickering through my trembling limbs making me squirm under his insatiable stare. My eyes would blaze with yearning as his hard throbbing shaft was revealed, and my lips and thighs would dampen once more with sweet cream. Whimpering, reaching, but knowing better than to move from where I lay, I would let my tender young body speak for me.

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