Memories in the Sea

The morning smelled of the soft pine that stood at the edge of the yard. The slight scent of dew stood out among the pine. Mixed with the pine and dew also was the dominate smell of a woman, who stood at the steps of her home. Her build was one of a large, hefty woman. She had been called, by those not so tactful, a mountain of unmovable flesh. Her brow just slightly connected and her lips were thin against such a large face. She bore green eyes that shone, these were though very blank. Above her slouched a mess of tangled untamed hair, which had the color red. Just below her head was her neck, which was extremely large, stood her neck. It was a true saving grace her neck was so horrifically large or her head could have completely toppled off. Her left arm was next to her side and her right arm waved. Although she bore a shocking outward look, very deep inside there was care and compassion.

"Come inside boy or you'll catch your death out here." She glared out at me and smiled at last. It was thin and soft, but expressed enough, and all that was truly important, that it was a real smile. I looked up and assessed the house. It held a large arch that pressed over the door. It was carved with small vines and had a small tinge of green. The door was a heavy double door that could have been 23 years old. The small porch that the home held was supported by four columns that were curved and seemed slightly worn. There were dead leaves that lined the entire outside of the porch. I looked up at the windows and the roof. The windows were shaded and seemed to have slightly broken shutters. The roof was as old as the building itself and need badly to be re-shingled. As I stared up a drop of snow dropped on my head. I looked at the massive woman once again and smiled.

"Don't force me to drag you in. Move in here right now." She gestured inside and looked a bit more agitated then before. Then I noticed a coated shoulder appear next to the frame of the door. I merely saw the woman turn her head slightly and listen to the words that this man spoke.

"I need to be speaking to you about a large amount of things. If you do not feel it bothers you far to greatly, please enter so we may begin." I heard only those words and then he disappeared. I walked forward, slowly walking towards the large door. I reached the door and gave a questioning look towards the woman.

"That is Gregory, he came only recently. Seems to be able to the things only you could do. I only know that he has asked only for you since he arrived." She said to me, and looked at me wondering. There was a hidden joy inside her, now that she knew I was not the only one. I looked into her eyes again and walked inside, thru the large arch.

"How long has he been here, and does he only wish to speak with me?" I asked her without turning. "From my understanding, that's exactly what he's interested in." I walked forward and stopped quickly, turning my head only slightly and said, "It's good to be back here, Tara."

I then walked forward and looked down a long corridor. I smiled that long forgotten smell of dust on every crevice of the walls. I felt my soul ache for the past as I looked upon all the pictures of it. My body felt a longing I hadn't felt in years. I went to a wall and took down a picture. It held an old school teacher standing next to a young child. The child held a plaque against his chest. Its fingers curved round it softly and he had the smallest smile on him. I placed the picture back and walked further down the hall. My eyes grew large in the very dim light and laid against one of the walls. I felt my heart begin to pound, smashing my ribs. My head started spinning and I fell to the floor. I dreamt then, of my past. I was standing at the edge of a beach and she stood at the end of a dock. The ocean crushed around her. The waves smashed against the wooden dock where she turned and looked into my eyes. She looked and saw all my world, and dug me. I then felt a rough hand grapple my arm and bring me to my feet again. I looked up and saw Tara attempting to raise me. I came to my feet and she motioned to an open room. I walked inside and sat in a chair. I looked out the window and saw just endlessly blue sky. I laid back in my chair and thought of how amazing this world was. My thoughts were soon interrupted though by a rather massive voice.

"Why did you come back here boy? Why have you returned to where you came from? Why now, why came home?" She wore an expression I had never before seen in my life. She simply sat there, staring, void of emotion. She simply awaited an answer. My hands crossed and I looked again out the window. How amazing the world truly looked at times. The thin shades of color that drape across the sky fill the world with a somewhat absent feel. There are so many times when I have sat and thought we aren't merely a painting that is being looked at and carefully examined by some very elaborate genius. I uncrossed my hands and placed them flat against my thighs. I stared over Tara's head and felt this feeling of exquisite agony take over my body. Not in the least bit though physical. All inside my own self, where no soul can dare attempt to repair. I at last looked into her eyes and felt my purpose begin to drift.

"I suppose that if I where to risk a lie to you it would be very quickly caught. So I have no intention of lying, I merely ask that you do not interrupt me." I spoke this to her quickly with a small dryness in my tone. She seemed to understand that this was no foolish matter in my eyes and simply nodded her resignation. She sat across from me on another chair. She seemed very in tune, simply because of her ridiculous try at seeming composed. "I came here to die Tara. I don't have anything else to live for. I tried to continue my life but I've found that I just can't continue in this maze. I need to just sit and feel the waves suffocate me at last. I've been dying slowly for so long, I can feel it. I can feel my body slowly dying, slowly becoming withered. I feel my inner self giving way to this sickening darkness. This unavoidable ending that I see heading towards me. I came here to stop my fight, to quit at last. I came so I could lay down and simply feel my breath exit and I can be free."

I proclaimed all this to her, my voice wavering, somewhat weak. My hands trembled softly and I stared at her eyes. I felt nothing though. I felt no amazing freedom over saying this to her. I felt absolutely no relief from having told someone at last. I simply sat and waiting on her response to my words. She stood and walked to the window and stood there. She thought, I suppose, for a few minutes by the window. My gaze had drifted towards the floor and then to my own hands. She finally walked away from the window, walked to the door and looked back at me quickly. For the first time I noticed the look inside her eyes. She looked at me with a face of shame, and anger. Moreover, there was resentment. I looked at her and I wished to say something. I wanted to say some comforting remark, anything that would allow her to feel better. I couldn't find any words though, so I simply stared at her face as she walked outside the door. I then stood and walked to the window. I stared out into the horizon as I heard the door slowly click and close behind me.