Memory

"Surprise!" he said, "Happy Birthday!" She didn't know what to say at first too stunned to say a word.

"Oh yeah thanks, that was today." She turned and gave him a meager smile because she was in no mood to fake a smile, this way would be kinder she thought, don't feed the problem.

"No Darla tonight?" she asked, already knowing what his answer would be.

"No, no Darla... um we decided to take a little break.." he said quite uncomfortably and he even endearingly rubbed his neck and blushed, she wished that she could still blush.

"Shame, she's a nice girl Rube, a really nice girl." She made sure to catch his eye when she said it. Wanting him to understand and wanting him to accept it. "Not like me," she continued, "I'm not a nice girl at all."

He blushed again and awkwardly giggled refusing it seemed to accept what she was saying.

"Of course you're a nice girl Skye, you just don't know it yet." His eyes were pleading, he was already hurt and she couldn't help. "Let's just enjoy the meal, we can figure....things out after." She didn't fight because she was hungry and would need her strength, there would be no sleep here for her tonight it would be best if she just left on the next bus.

During the meal they reminisced on old times and she could see that he wanted to ask her the truth about her present but she wouldn't let him. In the end it was her who made the last decisive move.

"I'm going at first light Rube, my time here's over and I have places that I need to be." She looked at him when she said it, she cared about him as best she could but she was a direct person and he wasn't a child. The truth was the one thing she had no need to hide from. Emotions from shock to dismay and finally anger flew across his face and through it all she just waited calmly for what he had to say.

"What the fuck do you mean you're leaving?! Just like that? No warning?" she just looked at him, he was asking questions she didn't need to answer to, she would just let him get it out of his system. "Baby listen..." she cleared her throat loudly then because the one thing she couldn't stand to be called was baby.

"Skye look, I know you've just been roaming around the country, I even know about the club," she lifted and eyebrow at him ultimately she should not have been surprised men in lust, she refused to believe in love, did some strange things "I can live with that, I can live with all of it. We have something here, I don't know what it is but it seems special, can't you feel it?" he looked at her with those sad pleading eyes and she merely looked back.

"You don't have to say anything," she wasn't going to, "Just think about it before you just up and leave. Maybe I can even find you something at the hospital? Who knows, we can have a real future together Skye." The last was said with great pleading and perhaps on somebody else it might have worked but of course on her it didn't. She was full and it was time to pack, the earlier she got to the station the better.

"Rube I'm not a good girl and it wouldn't work. Thank you for the meal and letting me stay here but I need to be packing and get out of here." And so she saw the anger fix on his face.

"Fine you crazy bitch, be that way then. Hurry up and get the fuck out of here. I can't stand the sight of you!" He stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him and like so many others this was how the story inevitably ended, the wound had been inflicted.

A few days on a bus would drive anybody crazy but after years of doing this Skye barely felt it in a couple hours she would be home, Idaho. She could already see the exit. So many ghosts had decided to come to haunt her the closer she got to it. She wished that she was coming back a different person but in truth she was not. She was still scared little Skye Rayne from the shack. She might smell better, might even look better but on the inside she was the same and she knew that anyone with half a brain would sense it.

She thought about all of the town's folk, those who knew about her shame and those who didn't and ultimately her mind lingered on the old image of Deacon Sloane and wondered how much he had changed and wondered if he remembered her, he should be married to Sarah by now. A part of her hoped he didn't remember but somehow she hoped he did, that single breathless moment they had shared was as significant as it was horrible. It was the beginning and the end of everything.

Something was wrong. Deacon Sloane just had no idea what it was. He shifted uneasily and looked around. He sat in Hardy's Bar with his lifelong best friend and now Beta Owen Kincaid once again drowning his sorrows, or was it anger, about his now ex-wife Sarah Madison formerly Sloane. It was actually a scene that had grown familiar to many over the years since Sarah could drive even a Saint to strong drink.

"What's up buddy?" Owen asked while glancing around also, "Well besides the obvious. I hate to say what we both already know Bud but you're way better off without her." Yes Deacon knew that now, as surely as he knew his own name, but that didn't mean that he had to say it.

"Yeah Owen, whatever... I don't know though I just feel uneasy." He made another sweep of the bar but came up empty.

"You mean in general, or just about Sarah?" Owen asked pausing with his beer half way to his mouth.

"Definitely in general." It was a feeling that he just couldn't explain, almost as if he was expecting something. He didn't expect anything from Sarah, not anymore.

They had been together since they hit puberty and at the time it had all seemed so perfect. She had been perfect but soon after they tied the knot when they had turned twenty there had been no hiding that evil bitch heart that she had in her chest. Just thinking about it made him cringe. She had left him with some deep scars and even now that their divorce was finally final she was still finding ways to cut him.

"It's probably nothing. In any case we're supposed to be celebrating not doing whatever it is you're doing." Deacon knew he was right it was just this uneasy feeling and the raw nerves that just a few hours around Sarah could give him.

"After everything was said and done she came over to the house, to pick up more stuff," he said, "and she brought her latest fuck boy Tony with her." He knew this wasn't what they were supposed to be doing but he just couldn't help himself.

"Isn't Tony pure human?" without looking at him Deacon knew the expression he would be wearing, one raised eyebrow and a grim grin.

"Yup" was his simple answer.

"Ha! A little beneath her but you know Sarah, she would do just about anything to rub it in and do some damage. I never really knew whatever made you think that you could mate with her. She's a fine looking bitch and all but deep down inside she's just pure evil." He heard Owen's beer smack against the counter and glanced across. A long time ago he might have killed him for saying something about Sarah but that was definitely a long time ago.

"That's assuming that I still give a shit, I'm way past that. She was never my mate and our getting married was a huge mistake and I accept that but it still hurts like hell to look at what we've become." He wanted to rage against break something against a wall and just be done with it.

"Her fault, not yours." Owen said taking in his friend's demeanor and quickly realizing that it would take more than a few beers to get them through tonight. They needed to run.

"Care to howl at the moon?" He asked and in silent agreement the both paid their tabs and left.

Even in the dark everything looked exactly the same. The streets, the houses, even the weather were just as she remembered it. After a brief delay the bus had limped its way to the Ridge Falls stop and unlike many of the other passengers Skye had reluctantly gotten off. She felt trapped and willing to do just about anything to escape. She felt her panic meter rising and just as she was about to turn tail and run off again that's when she turned the corner from the bus stop and came face to face with her one safe haven in the entire town, the town Library stood like a shining beacon in the square. It had been her refuge on many a dark and lonely night, she had even slept there a few times far too afraid of what was waiting for her at home. When inevitably she did return it was to be slapped around and called a whore because in Charles' mind it was ok to assume than an eight year old sleeping out was due to that kind of thing. Of course in the end it was he that had made her one.

Swallow the pain, don't let it win and move on, and use it on the stage. She stared at the library repeating the phrase until she felt calm enough to take a deep cleansing breath and not fall to pieces. It was still so ironic that this place could do this to her, she who had thought herself so hard. She walked calmly toward the library but passed beneath the thickest tree just before the entrance and that's where she found it "S &T" which stood for Skye and T.S. Elliot. She was such a weird kid but this man this T had given her her motto, "Teach us to care and not to care, Teach us to sit still." She found his work on a back shelf in the adult reading section, she didn't understand most of what he spoke about but that one line of his work had saved her life.

Skye turned away since she wasn't ready to go inside just yet, this place was still special and she wasn't ready to breach its walls just yet. She turned instead in the direction of the edge of town she knew the way, would never forget it, her destination was that old beat up shack she had once called home. As she walked she was suddenly grateful for the night since it always hid so many things, like her arrival. She didn't expect to be greeted with any great warmth but she was still grateful to not have to go through the strained ritual of being happy to be back in Ridge Falls when she wasn't even sure if she would be staying.

She didn't walk toward the shack so much as wandered toward it, every twist and turn to the still unpaved road was a sharp reminder of her past. Her steps grew heavier it seemed the closer she came to it and even with the coolness of the night she began to sweat until finally like a ghost it appeared in front of her. In her mind's eye she saw it as it had appeared to her as a child; old and broken down with peeling paint and beer bottles strewn across the yard with other assorted filth.

As she drew nearer however she realized that things had changed, while it wasn't a complete makeover the yard seemed cleaner than she had remembered and the house appeared to have been painted quite recently. She stood in the darkness staring at the albatross for what seemed like forever until her heart rate slowed and she could release the breath that she had no idea she had been holding. She reached into her oversized pack and rummaged around until she found the key that had been sent to her along with the legal documents regarding her new inheritance.

The key turned smoothly in the lock, almost too smoothly and as she entered on instinct her had reached for the switch beside the door to turn on the lights, when nothing happened she wasn't surprised you couldn't have everything. Pausing she retrieved a flashlight from her bag of tricks and set out to explore the place. The air felt stale and musty, it was obvious no one had been here in a while and yet the place seemed clean. At least it didn't smell like beer and cigarettes as she had expected, or sweat and her own fear. She shivered. The new addition of an honest to goodness working indoor bathroom was a pleasant surprise and it was through this discovery that she learned that while the place didn't have electricity it did blissfully have water. She took one last look around locating her own room and then Charles' but ultimately she decided to bed down in the living room, those rooms had too many bad memories.

She took a surprisingly relaxing shower despite there being no electricity and no hot water. Afterward she dressed in her favorite sleeping combo of tank top and panties and decided to open a window let in some of the sweet night air to try and cleanse the house of some of its ghosts. At the window she lingered inhaling the sweet purity of the night and somewhere far off in the night she heard the mournful howl of a wolf.